The CD Mac had put in earlier was still playing and now it was repeating the song they had listening to before they had made love.
He stopped a moment and listen to a few of the words.
"Its gonna change everything I feel
Its gonna be sad
Its gonna be true
Its gonna be your the one to do
Its going to be hardIts going to be tough
Its going to be more than just enough"
He closed his eyes and sighed. It had definitely changed everything he had ever felt for her. Now there was no going back. 'Hard, Tough' ya he could
already see it coming. But would it really be fore than enough?
~ ~ ~
Mac shifted slightly in her sleep and Harm looked down at her.
He had to admit he liked looking down and seeing her there, asleep on his bed, under his blankets, naked.
It felt so right for her to be there, why hadn't they done this a long time ago?
Her eyes drifted open and stretched her arms out above her head.
The moment she seen him sitting there next to her she couldn't help but smile.
He had been so amazing. "Hey...."He looked down at her.
"Hey beautiful."
"What are you doing? Working?" she saw the files he had sitting on his lap.
"Ahh huh... no way ... you don't get to ask that question." he smiled at her as he closed the file and tossed it on to the floor. "How are you feeling ?"
"Better... hungry..." she laughed. "What are you doing over there? Why aren't you down here with me?" she was surprised at how easy this was with him, she always thought that if there relationship ever went down this path she wouldn't know how to talk to him.
But the truth was he was the same Harm. He still flew Tom Cats, Still raised his eyes slightly when he smiled. He was the same complicated man she had
been in love with for so long. But now she could tell him, show him, be honest with him.
Harm stretched out next to her "I couldn't sleep." he said honestly. Just looking into her eyes.
For a moment she thought maybe he was regretting what happened "Harm... is it this?" she motion towards herself in his bed. "About us."
He looked into he eyes "No no..." he moved her hair off her forehead "I already told you I'm not going back... I can't."
She smiled and closed her eyes. It was so wonderful to hear him say that. She knew he had said it before, but sex could inspire a lot of emotions. "You okay... Why couldn't you sleep?" her fingers lightly rested on his arm.
He let his body relax "Just thinking I guess.... You slept pretty well.... you didn't move an inch."
"I've had a long week I guess..."
"Ya...." he had to admit that he didn't really know what was going to happen now and it scared him to al that he wanted so much more from her, more than
he had ever wanted from any women."Ya.... What time is it ?"
"Ummm... I don't know..." he turned and looked at the clock on his night stand "10:07"
She was so unsure of what he was thinking "You were wonderful." it wasn't more than a whisper.
"You were better than wonderful." he leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips.
His lips felt wonderful and she kissed him back, letting herself get lost in the warm feeling the flooded her soul. When the parted she couldn't stop
the words from tumbling out of her mouth. "Harm what are.... were do we go from here?"
"I don't know ..."
"Is that what you were thinking about."
He looked down at her hand still resting on his arm. "A little .... but you know what?"
"What?"
"I don't know if I care...... I like this."
She started to laugh. "Oh really? What part do you like? Me getting drunk and screwing up your night, you having to sleep on the couch? Or how about watching me throw up this morning or no let me guess your favorite part of the whole night was this morning when your Mic's fist connected with your jaw.... I'm not sure what there is to like."
"No my favorite part of the whole night was when you kissed my jaw and made it better."
He smiled. "And as I recall that is not the only thing you kissed."
She began to blush "Harmon Rabb...."
"Well I guess your fantasy about us were a little closer to what we did this morning than what we did last night."
"What?" she asked a little surprised.
"You don't know how to hold your tongue when you drink..." he teased her little.
"Oh no..." she closed her eyes, for the first time she was really embarrassed. "What did I do? What did I say? I really don't remember any thing... I'm really sorry."
He laughed a little and smiled at her for a moment and then his face grew serious. "Don't be sorry...."
"What did I say to you?"
"You just mention your fantasy didn't have anything to do with me putting clothes on you."
Her hand lightly covered her mouth. "Oh..."
"Are you okay now .... I mean .... last night was something..... it was just not nothing."
"I know...." she thought for a moment "Harm it was a moment weakness... I don't want to relive it."
Harm reached over and took her hand, there fingers intertwined.
"Its hard to see you like that..." he didn't know how to go on "I ... I worry about you...."
"Last night.... I just .... I didn't know what to do Harm... Everything was spinning so far out of control.... and there was no one there ... and Mic
and I...." she stopped and looked up at him, she didn't like saying that name in his bed.
Harm knew, knew what she was thinking, what she was feeling "Its okay."
"We started fighting... and he started blaming you, and all I wanted was you and things were just spinning out of control... he left ... said he needed
to think about something's, I started drinking."
"What did he blame on me."
"Everything." she looked up at him. "He never could let it go... this thing you and I had. He hated it."
"I guess we couldn't let it go." he said lifting his shoulders. He didn't care about him anymore. Sarah was his now. That was what matter.
"Ya..." she knew he was right. "So anyhow... I knew I was pushing him away, and all I wanted was this.... but I just didn't know where my life was
going. I was scared."
"And your not scared now."
"I'm scared to death right now Harm....."
He leaned over closer to her and pulled her to his side. "Why." he traced lines on her shoulder.
"We've never been here... and it took us a long time to do this. And I don't know how clear we were thinking out there... I don't want to lose this... to lose this now would mean losing our friendship... and that was what I was longing for last night."
"We were already losing it." she watched his eyes fall as his fingers traced down her shoulder to her breast bone. "I could hardly look at you the last
few weeks." he said slowly.
"Why ?" she asked sadly.
"I didn't want you to marry him." he looked back up at her.
"Oh.... Harm..." she leaned up and kissed him lightly
"Out there... before...." this was something he wanted her to know, he wanted her to trust this "... everything we've done I've wanted very much.... I wouldn't do anything to hurt you... or us.... all I've ever wanted was to protect you... from the moment we first met... I knew that was what I was meant to do."
That was the most incredible thing anyone had ever said to her. "I haven't really made it easy for you Salior."
"No ... you haven't....." he smiled at her "Sarah ... I want you to know...I need to tell you this and you don't have say anything ..." he took a deep
breath and looked at her "I love you.... more than I ever thought I could love someone."
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