Weakness
“He was mad Harm.” it was out of her mouth before she could stop it and she felt his arms tighten around her. “He was so mad at me.” her minded flashed back to hours before.
~ ~ ~
“How could you do this Sarah? How? I love you. He doesn’t.” Mic turned and started to walk away before turning once again to see her standing in front of him.
Her eyes were searching his trying, to get him to understand. And for a brief moment he wanted to hold her and make all the pain go away.
Then before he could stop himself his clinched fist went through the wall in the hall.
Mac flinched for only a moment. “Mic... Its not...” the tears began to fall again and she couldn’t stop them. She couldn’t be strong right now.
As he pulled his fist free from the wall he headed towards her. “How long Sarah? How long have you been sleeping with him?”
She only backed up a few steps determined to stand her ground. “It is not like that.” she screamed. She would protect Harm if not anything else.
“It has been like that for as long as I’ve known you. It has always been him.” He took a deep breath, all the wanted to was kill the man who had ripped his life from him and hold the women who could put it all back together again. “You’ve always wanted him, even when your with me. Its him you see. Damn it Sarah It has always been him you were looking at.”
“Mic I never meant for this thing end up like this.”
“Well the have, haven’t they?”
~ ~ ~
Harm waited a moment as he felt her struggling with what had happened. “How mad Sarah?”
“Mad enough to put his fist through the wall.”
Harm’s eyes widen “What? Did he ...”
“No he didn’t hurt me Harm.... he yelled at lot... screamed is more like it.” she waited amoment before going on “He thinks that we’ve been sleeping together for awhile.”
“Why in the hell does he think that?”
“I don’t know.” she whispered, pushing herself into him more. “I didn’t want things to be like this.”
Harm shook his head and ran his hands up and down her back. “Brumby has always been one to jump to conclusions. He is just upset....” he sighed not really knowing what else to say to her. “He is not leaving until Tuesday. He is going back to Australia. At least that is what he wants. He has to talk to the Admiral first. I feel awful about this whole thing. I never meant to hurt him. I just couldn’t ....” she didn’t finish.
“Everything will be okay. I know you didn’t mean to hurt him... I’m sorry things are so complicated right now. I wish there was something I could do.” He wanted to make it all go away, he hated to see her so hurt. And he hated Brumby even more for doing this to her.
Mac felt his body stiffen next to her and she sighed. She knew what was going through his head. “Harm he didn’t hurt me, just my wall... all the he did was scream at me.”
His eyes looked down at her. “That is enough Mac.... you don’t scream at women, and especially the one you say you love.” it was just wrong and there was not one thing she could say that would make him feel any different about it.
“Harm I handled it. I’m okay.” as she said it to him, her eyes drifted away from his gaze.
“No your not... What else is on your mind.” He could feel it.
She tried to pull away from and laid back on the bed. He let her go he knew she needed some space, she wasn’t use to someone knowing her so well. He leaned over to look at her “Well Marine.... spill it... what else?”
“How do you know?” she was amazed, though she really shouldn’t be. She could tell when he held things back from her, it just never accrued to her that he was be able to so the same with her. No one had ever been this close to her and she was getting scared.
He smiled. “I know you thats all.”
“I’m just ...” she still wasn’t sure if she could say it to him. “I... just... well I’m just worried about ...”
For the very first time in their relationship she was struggling with telling him something.
It was touching to watch her fight so hard to be able to share with him. It made him realize how much she really did love him and want this thing between them.
“Sarah what?”
“I’m just beginning to realize what we have done?”
“Sarah what we did was show our love for each other and we did it in a very beautiful way.”
Her eyes found his. It was the most sensitive thing he had ever said to her.
“I know.” she willed the tears not to fall again. She had to stop let her emotions get the best of her every 3 seconds. “I know...”
“Now there are things we will just have deal with.... we can do this together.”
She reached up and let her fingers touch his face. His faith in them was already beginning to amaze her.
“What if He says something ... or does something at work.... do you realize we are not just two people who made love. We are two JAG, Senior Officers who gave in.”
While he had been out walking he had thought about that and at first he was struggling with a way to fix everything and anything that would fall about apart but in the end he just given up. “Sarah I don’t care... I really don’t care. I almost watched you get married to another man.... I don’t know how I would have handled that, you being married to him... I think I would have ended up killing him...” he smiled.
He was half joking, but emotions that swept over when he thought about her with him forever were something he couldn’t deal with, he didn’t know how he would have ever survived living through it. “I don’t know what we are going to do about work... if Brumby feels the need to say something well then we will just face it together ... if he doesn’t we don’t have to say anything right now to anyone.”
She saw determination in his eyes and knew she wasn’t going to fight him on this one, and in her heart she didn’t want to fight him at all.
“Everything is going to okay..... Did he go to a hotel?”
“No ... He is still at my place.”
“What? Why?”
“He is leaving Tuesday.”
“Well your not going back there.” There was no way in hell he was ever going to let that man around her again.
“I wasn’t planing on it.” she reached up and kissed him light. “I really do love you Harm... I don’t want us to ever end.”
“It won’t ... Remember we are getting on with our lives and never looking back.”
“Yea I remember.....”
He reached down and kissed her, pulling her up to him. He wanted to help her forget about the last few hours. “Sarah....” he breathed against her neck. She didn’t take the time to answer him, she reached for his shirt and pulled it up away from his body.
Her heart quickened at the first glimpse of bare skin. God he was so gorgeous, the light from the candle by the bed danced across his chest and she let her hands slide over his nipples. “Harm...” she looked up at him.
He reached down and started kissing her neck “What sweetheart.”
She couldn’t think anymore, she was just reacting now. “I love you.” when the words fell from her lips she almost regretted it for a moment.
“Sarah I love you too.” it felt so right to be able to say that her.
He reached down and pulled her shirt up over her head as he lips began kissed neck and collier bone.
She didn’t know how he could make everything better with just a few short kisses. “Harm you feel wonderful...” she wanted to feel all of him surrounding her.
He needed more of her, to feel more of her, to be a part of her once again.
He slowly began pulling her jeans off, with ever inch of clothes he removed, he let light kisses fall on her skin. She leaned back, she wanted him next her. “Harm...” she whispered.
Soon enough she found his lips on hers again and his hands were lightly running up and down her body.
He left her mouth and bent his head to take her breast in his mouth.
Mac gasped as his tongue swept over her nipple.
Her hands reached for him, wanting to feel his skin.
Harm felt her hands and he gently kissed back up her neck to her mouth. His tongue found her and he pulled her closer to him, crushing her breasts up next to him.
He let one hand slide down to the back of her thigh, his fingers curving to the inside.
He groaned in approval when he felt the tickle of soft curly hair against his knuckles, and the wetness of her excitement.
He pulled away from her for a moment, there was no more talking.
They let their hands and their bodies say everything for the moment.
Soon Harm throbbed to be inside her and his erection sought the heat between her thighs. He gentle pulled her legs astride him and grasped her hips, lifting them up in order to enter her. Her hands fell on to his chest as she sank down on him.
He plunged into her slick channel. She moved her arms from his chest and braced her arms at either side of his head, she kissed him lightly on the lips as she began to melt into the heat.
She squeezed her eyes shut as she returned her hands to his chest.
Harm began moving his hips up and down. Mac moved with him, helping him set the rhythm, He was lost in her touch and for a moment all he could was just that gaze up at her, his hands held on to her hips while her fluid movements practically sent him over the edge.
Mac tilted her head back as she bit back a groan and let her hands come up and run over her breast.
Harm’s eyebrows shot up as he watched her lean back and touch her breast. Oh God he wasn’t going to last much longer.
With sheer concentration, he slid his thumbs to her front, to the patch of hair at the apex of her legs, and found the hard little nub concealed there. He plied it gentle, listening to her moan in pleasure. He loved the way her head lolled back.
She couldn’t breath, all she could feel was him and her rhythm became more frantic, more forceful. Harm grateful thrust himself up into her. He was meeting each downward stroke of her hips.
It was only moments later that felt her clutching him in spasms of release. With a content smile his climax came in a rush, bursting from him and he closed his eyes for a moment and clutched her hips moaning her name over and over. Mac collapsed on his chest drained, exhausted, lifeless. “Ohhh god...” she whispered into his neck. For a moment he couldn’t do anything but hold her, rocking slowly with her as the last wave subsided. It wasn't very long before there breathing finally even out. Mac pulled herself off of him and lay by his side. He groaned when she slipped off of him and came to his side. ‘it was only getting better and better.’ “Feel better?” he smiled at her. “Much....” He turned and nuzzled her neck. Her laugh started deep with in her and she relaxed next to him. “Lets get out of her for a few days. Monday is a holiday.... Lets go some place.” She pulled away from and grabbed his shirt and pulled it over her. “Why?” she looked back over at him. “Because I want us to be able to go out in public and not have to worry about someone seeing us.” “Why do you want to go out..... We can have more fun inside.” His smiled “I intend to have plenty of fun with you inside, have no worries about that Marine...” She smiled. It would be wonderful to get away and have him all to herself even if was only for a few days. “Where do you want to go?” “Philadelphia.” “Really...” she almost laughed “Why?” “I don’t know... there is a really nice hotel up there called the Hyatt Regency. Its only 2 hours away and there is a million things up there to do. The hotel is located by the Delaware River front.” “It sounds like fun.” She would be happy in a shack in Alaska if he was there with her. “Lets leave in the morning.” She smiled at his boyish grin.“Whatever you say flyboy. I will follow you to the ends of the earth if that is what you want.” 07:15 Zulu 2812 M Street, Apt 4 Washington, Dc 20215 Command Rabb’s Apartment Harm had just got out of the shower and was dressing when he heard Mac stretch her arms over her head and yawn. He walked over and sat down on the bed “Good morning beautiful.” She looked up at him and smiled. “Why are you already out of bed?” He laughed “I’ve been up for 2 and half hours already. Do you want some coffee?” “After a hot shower.” she pulled the blankets up around her, not quite ready to leave this safe haven. “Well you better get up and get with it. I already called the hotel and got us a room and while you shower I’m going to pack. Did you bring anything dressy from home?” She took a deep breath, her head was spinning. He was so excited and it made her smile.“Why?” “Because I want to take you out some place nice.” “Oh... no... but I can swing by the dry-cleaners. I have a dress there.” “Good.” he bent down and kissed her lightly. “Now come on get up... get up ... get up.” She kissed him back “I would much rather you came to bed.” As much as he wanted to he wanted to take her away more. He new there was plenty of time for that later. “Nahh... I won’t be distracted by you.” he laughed. “Now up....” “Alright ... Alright... but you just wait Sailor... later when we get to our room and you give me that ‘come hither’ look I’m not giving in....” she headed towards the shower. “Yea right...” he called after her. 11:25 Zulu I-495 N Harm’s SUV “When we get back we will swing by and pick up your ‘vett. And I was think we should let the Admiral know that your staying at my place until Mic is out of yours. You know how he feels about surprises.” “Yea... Sure.” Her gazed followed the road. “You okay Mac?” “Yea I guess just feeling a little car sick.” “You want me stop?” “No its fine. I’m will be okay.” “Well we are almost there.” “Okay.” she smiled over at him. For the first time in awhile he looked really relaxed. But it was more than that, as she watched him she saw satisfaction, contentment. Something she was use to seeing. She remembered seeing it alot more when he was near a Tomcat. It seemed most of the time he didn’t even need to be up in one, as long as they were with inhis reach he was happy. She smiled. “What?” he looked over at her “Nothing....” she shook her head. “Why are you looking at me like that?” “You look happy.” “I am.” He changed lanes as he prepared to take the next exit. “I’m very happy.” he reached for her hand and held it as he continued to drive at a steady pace. Harm pulled into a park space and they both got out of the car and he took the bags from back. When he rounded the back of the SUV he took Mac’s hands in his as they made there way toward the Hotel.
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“Harm this is really nice.” she gazed up at the hotel.