Once upon a time, I had a boyfriend. His name was River. We took a long time to get together, because of chicks stalking him, and me being obsessively in love with other guys, but anyway, we finally got together and were very happy together until-- but that comes later. This is a tale of what happened while we were still getting together. We were both about nineteen at the time.
I drove over to River's house one night. It had been a bad day and I was still recovering from the nasty end of a relationship. Even though I didn't see his parents' cars at home, I knocked on his window instead of ringing the doorbell. That was what we did, generally; first we knocked on the door, then we knocked on his window, in case his mom and dad were asleep. "I'll be right out," River hollered when I knocked on his window. I went around and was waiting by the door when he opened it.
It was about eleven at night when I got there. Now, since this was in Alaska on July 3, it was still bright outside; the sun sets all night and the darkest it gets is still bright enough to read, but not small print if you have not-so-good eyes. We got to talking about reality and sex and True Love and being dumped, and at some point we started kissing on the couch in his living room. It was dark in there; River doesn't turn the lights on unless he can help it, not even in the winter.
Being nineteen and somewhat of a bum, River had not at that point moved out of his parents' house. It would not have been a good thing if his parents had walked in on us, so we scampered to his bedroom and took most of our clothes off. River was not very experienced in the ways of girls, so I began -- just as a favor to a friend -- show him How Things Were Done. It was about two AM by this time.
Things were getting good, and I was enjoying myself. At about this point, a car drove up and parked instead of going on down the road. I froze; I thought it was his mother. My car was parked outside.
"No, it can't be my mother," he said. "She doesn't get off work until six in the morning. It's probably one of my friends. We'll just ignore them."
River is one of the most popular guys from my high school in my circle of friends. His parents are usually at work and put up with an alarming amount of chaos. He has an ultimate anime collection, a great gaming system and lots of games, and a big-screen TV. And he stays up all night. Everybody loves him. His house is Grand Central Station, a party every night.
Sure enough, the doorbell rang. "Don't answer that," he told me. "Be real quiet."
I was real quiet, and eventually the guy at the door stopped ringing the bell. The phone rang a few seconds later.
"Yep, that's Del," River said. "He calls from his cellphone if I don't answer the door."
We ignored the telephone, and the doorbell when it started ringing again. Finally, Del gave up on the door.
"He's going to leave now," River told me.
"Good, so he's not looking in through the window or anything," I said, getting back to what I had been doing.
"Azure?" River said very very quietly.
"Mmmph?" I said with my mouth full.
"Look at the window."
I turned around and saw Del silhouetted there against the 2:30 AM Alaskan twilight sky. "Iyeek!" I said, and dove beneath the blankets.
"River!" Del said from outside. "I know you're in there!" River doesn't owe Del any money or anything, Del is just an obnoxious and persistent guy that River doesn't have the heart to go to hell or anything, because Del would get pissy about it, and Del has a job and a car and buys video games.
Del went around to the front door and began ringing the bell in the most obnoxious fashion possible. "Grrr," I said in irritation, and stomped off to tell off Del, wearing what I was wearing, which was my watch, a couple rings, my earrings, and my underpants. "River's *busy*, Del!" I shouted through the closed door.
"I *noticed*, Azure!" Del shouted back. "Tell him it's me, Del."
I crossed my arms over my chest and stomped back into River's bedroom. "That's Del, by the way. He said to tell you."
"Great," said River. "I already knew that. Ask him what he wants."
I stomped up the stairs, down the hall, past the kitchen, and over to the door. "River already knew that. What the hell do you want? It's two-thirty in the morning."
"How 'bout letting me in? My girlfriend kicked me out and I don't want to go home."
I went back to River. "His girlfriend kicked him out and he doesn't want to go home."
"Tell him tough luck; I'm busy."
"Tough luck, Del. River's busy."
"That's real nice. I was busy until Hanna kicked me out. And, Azure?"
"What?!" I asked, still in a pissy mood.
"There's a window in the kitchen."
"Iyeek!" I said, and ran back for River's room. "River, there's a *window* in the *kitchen*! Del saw me *naked*!"
River winced, put some pants on, and got up to let Del in. I shrieked, dove under the covers, and found my T-shirt.
When Del walked in, he walked straddle-legged and uncomfortably. "What's wrong?" I asked him, having forgiven him just a little.
"Hanna kicked me out. I've got blue balls," he told me.
"Ow," River said. "I'm gonna get that in about half an hour."
I started laughing at both of them and didn't stop until four in the morning, at which time I left them by themselves with their blue balls.
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