TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You sexy Taurus ladies out there might be having men trouble this month. My advice is to get a super sexy *Laughs* that's every picture, of me and drool over it for hours thinking about how totally hot I am. Awwwyeah.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Money will be a little tight this month so make sure you only buy the bear necessities. Oh honey like a super sexy picture of my fine ass, and a gift to send me cuz baby I get so lonely and I need love too.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): This month all you cancers need to clean up those messy rooms. Throw away anything that just add clutter, like those old pictures of Kevin and Howie. Make sure to hang up more sexy ass pictures of me, though, and be sure to fluff that totally bitchin throw pillow of me. Damn I'm good looking~!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You've been eyeing that certain man for months now, and your still now sure how he feels about you. Yo baby give that shit up and send that time on me and my fly ass. I'll never break your heart cuz I be Nick Carter the super sexy man of all your dreams. Goddamn can I really be this blazin? Awwyeah I can.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): This month you'll be faced with many tuff decisions. Don't worry though cuz baby, all you got to remember is that I'm the sexiest Backstreet Boy and that Kevin ain't nothing compared to me and my super sexy blonde hair, blue eyes, and *Kisses bicep* damn buff body. Thank you Jenny Craig.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You Libras out there in relationships might be thinking about cheating on your man. Good job, it's about time you realized I'm the only guy for you cuz I'm super sexy ass man. Drop that loser boyfriend of yours and go and buy a ticket to my concert so you can make a poster that tells me just how sexual I be.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio women love to be the leader, and that's no exception this month. Super Sexy Nick Carter says to lead everyone who hasn't bought my Cd to the store to buy it so I can get lots of money to keep my fly lookin ass super sexy. Hair dye costs money you know and these golden locks don't just grow this sexy naturally. *Looks in mirror* Hey baby, do you think black roots are sexy on me?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): This months others are going to try and persuade you to do things you might not want to do. Yo I be a sexy bitch and don't let one of your friends try and tell you any different. All you gotta do is look at that giant poster of my bitchin ass that's on your ceiling and put I Need You Tonight on repeat. Now who's your fly ass daddy?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your going to meet someone new this month who's going to try and take my place. A new boy group? Perhaps that nasty queer Justin? I dunno but I got a question for you my loyal fan...N-I-C-K, what that spell? That spells SEXY that's what and don't forget it. *Laughs* How could anyone replace my super fly ass? *Stokes chest* Now that's sexy.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You need some time alone this month Aquarius. Nick Carter *Laughs* I'm so sexy, suggests you take a little vacation away from the family. Oh wait baby before you go don't forget to take me. Aww that's right pack that fly ass picture of me that's on your nightstand. Now don't I look so sexy in your suitcase? I know I do.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your financial problems are all over this month Pisces, you run into some money mid month. Now what you need to do with that money is buy a Nick Carter shaped Cd so you can hear my super sexy voice. What's that? You already have that? Oh baby, ain't no thang, buy another one. You can never have too many Nick Carter shaped Cds...why? Cuz I be super ass fly, that's why.