Britney: Like I don't sing bumble-gum PoP.
DJ: {Confused} You don't? Well, what do you sing?
Brintey: Um....like Uh...
{Brintey's mom comes barging in the room}
Brintey's Mom: My daughter does not have breast impants~! I don't know where you people come up...
Brintey: Mom...
Britney's Mom: with these stories. My poor...
Britney: {Louder} Mom...
Brintey's Mom: helpless daughter has done nothing wrong and you girls out there who talk about her being a slut...
Britney: {Screaming} MOM~!
Brintey's Mom: {Looks at Britney} What dear?
Britney: {Between her teeth} We weren't talking about my breast implants.
Britney's Mom: Oh...well I'll be right outside if you need me hunny.
{Britney's Mom leaves}
Brintey: Sorry about that, like my mom hasn't taken her medication today.
DJ: Um, that's alright, let's just get back to the interview. So Britney you have a new single out.
Britney: Like, yes I do. It's called You Drive Me Crazy...I think. Anyway everyone should like go out and buy it cuz I like sing good.
DJ: You sing well.
Britney: That too.
DJ: {Rolls eyes} Speaking of well, your Cd is doing extraordinarily well on the charts.
Britney: Like duh.
DJ: There's been rumors going around about that though. Have you heard them?
Britney: Are we talking about my breast implants now?
DJ: No, your Cd.
Britney: Oh, like I haven't heard any rumors about my fabu Cd. Why what are they like saying about it?
DJ: Well, you know how there's Backstreet Boys snippets on it?
Britney: {Annoyed} Uh huh....
DJ: Well, people are saying that the only reason your Cd did so well was because those were on it.
Brintey: {Gasps} That's like totally ridiculous. My Cd sold because I sucked dick. How dare they say that it was because of those Backstreet Boys. Ten years down the road, when somebody goes to like pick up my Cd it's going to have the BsB on it and by then who knows who the Backstreet Boys are going to be....
DJ: UhOh those sound like fighting words to me.
Britney: I'm like sick of people constantly telling me that the BsB helped me, when I was like really helping them out.
DJ: You were doing them a favor?
Britney: Like totally.
DJ: Ok well, now that we have that cleared up...
Britney: And another thing, you BsB fans need to get off my back cuz like I'm sick of you crazy girls giving me shit cuz I look good and you don't.
DJ: BsB fans give you shit?
Britney: Totally~! I mean like I was on the net the other day and all these BsB fans sites were like dissing me.
DJ: What were they saying?
Britney: Pshh I don't know, I can't like read.
DJ: Well how do you know it was bad.
Britney: Cuz BsB fans are evil little bitches that are jealous of me.
DJ: Can I ask you a question Britney?
Britney: Sure
DJ: How do you feel always being compared to Debbie Gibson?
Britney: It like really pisses me off cuz like I don't sing Bubble-gum PoP and I'm not like tacky.
DJ: Debbie Gibson was tacky?
Britney: Eww yeah, no fashion sense whatever ever. Besides she was like totally flat chested.
DJ: Uh huh...well let's take some questions from callers, are you up to that Britney?
Britney: {Plays with bubble gum} Like sure.
DJ: Ok, we have Kelly on the phone...Hello Kelly.
Kelly: Hi
Britney: Like hi Kelly.
Kelly: Shut up bitch.
DJ: UhOh, looks like Kelly's not a fan.
Kelly: Damn straight I'm not a fan, I hate that whore.
Britney: Like your just jealous of my beauty.
Kelly: What beauty? Your face looks like a dog gnawed on it.
Britney: But my plastic surgeon said it looked better~!
DJ: So Kelly do you have a question for Britney?
Kelly: Yeah I do, Britney is it true that you slept your way into a record deal?
Britney: Huh?
DJ: She's asking if you had sex in exchange for your record contract.
Britney: {Bites lower lip and tries to think} Um....yes?
Kelly: That's what I thought you whore.
Britney: I mean no?
DJ: Ok lets take another caller. This is Mandy...Hello Mandy.
Mandy: Hey wassup?
DJ: What's your question for Britney?
Mandy: Yeah I wanted to know how much her breast job was.
DJ: Britney?
Britney: Um...a lot?
Mandy: I have another question...
DJ: Ask away
Mandy: Don't you think 17 is a little young to be getting a breast job?
Britney: Um...Uh...Hee Hee {Yells} Mom~!
{Britney's mom runs through the door}
Britney's Mom: Britney did not have a breast job~! I don't know who starts these outrageous rumors.
Mandy: But she just said herself that she had one.
Britney's Mom: Well, if you believe she had a breast job than I brand you a complete moron.
Mandy: I'm not the moron, your daughter is.
Britney's Mom: Oh yeah, where do you live you slut? I'm going to pay you a little visit after the show.
Mandy: Screw the visit, I'll come down to the station and kick both yours and your whore daughter's ass.
Britney's Mom: Bring it on.
DJ: Ok, lets take another caller...Hello caller your on the air.
Caller: Hello?
DJ: Hi, what's your name?
Caller: Um Nick?
DJ: Ok Nick, do you have a question for Britney?
Nick: Yes I do, I is a BsB and I'm calling cuz I heard what she say about us.
DJ: Uh huh....
Nick: I just want to say you Cd sold cuz our snippets was on there.
Britney: Did not you idiot.
Nick: Who you callin an idiot slut?
Britney: You.
Nick: Oh...
DJ: Hey little boy, why don't you get your mommy to call next time huh? Ok new caller...This is Katie...
Katie: Hey, my question is do you lipsing in concert Britney?
Britney: Um...yes?
Britney's Mom: She does not. She sings live, no pre recordings.
DJ: Mrs. Spears could you please step back outside?
Britney's Mom: What?!?
DJ: This interview is for Britney, not Britney and mommy.
Britney's Mom: Why you little...
DJ: Sercurity~!
{Security comes and drags Britney's mom away}
DJ: Sorry about that, now as you were saying Britney, you do lipsing?
Britney: Yeah, because like I sing off key and like when I do all those hard dance moves I get winded so I have to lipsing.
DJ: Uh huh...
Britney: Besides my management told me I had to.
DJ: Oh, your management told you that you had to lipsing at your concerts?
Britney: Yeah they said no one would ever know the difference.
Katie: They'll know now.
Britney: They will?
DJ: Yeah, you just told the whole viewing audience you lipsing.
Britney: Oh...oops. {Giggles}
DJ: We have a new caller...Hello caller your on the air.
Nick: {Talks in a girlie voice} Hello.
DJ: Do ya got a question?
Nick: Yes I do, Britney is you a lying whore?
Britney: Uh...yes?
Nick: That what I thought, cuz the BsB are better than you.
Britney: They are not. Do they have big breast like I do?
Nick: Yes...I do.
Britney: Nick, is that you again?
Nick: Shit~!
Britney: Get a life Donut Boy.
Nick: Ooo do you have one?!?
Britney: Your groups sucks and you need to like get over it. Nsync is so much better than you and those other pansies you sing with. Besides Justin is like so much cuter than you.
Nick: {Gasps} Is not~! I is the hottest guy in the world.
Britney: Dream on.
Nick: What?
Britney: Huh?
DJ: Ok new caller...Hello?
Caller: Yes, hi I just wanted to say that I don't think Britney had a boob job. She's a talented singer who doesn't lipsing in her live shows.
DJ: Uh huh....
Caller: She is so talented, she's the best singer and everyone should go out and buy her Cd.
DJ: Excuse me Miss, but Britney already told us all that she had a breast job and that she lipsings in concert.
Caller: Well, if you believe that I brand you a complete moron~!
DJ: Mrs. Spears is that you?
Caller: {Long silence} No?
DJ: Could someone please finds Mrs. Spears and take away her phone.
Britney's Mom: You can't do this to me~! I know important people~!
{The sound of Mrs. Spears being wrestled to the ground can be heard and then a dial tone}
DJ: Well, lets talk with another caller.
Britney: Like okie.
DJ: We have Molly with us...Hello Molly.
Molly: Hi
DJ: You've got a question?
Molly: Yes, Britney, are you on crack?
Britney: No, like why?
Molly: Because you said earlier you did the BsB a favor by putting their snippets on your Cd when it's the other way around. They did you the favor and now you have to bad mouth them.
Britney: Huh?
Molly: There's no way your crackass Cd would have sold if it weren't for those 3 little snippets, you should be thanking the BsB.
Britney: Thank the BsB? Never.
Molly: And another thing, if BsB fans hate you it's because your an ignorant whore who has no respect for herself or for others.
Britney: So?
Molly: So? So I'm coming down to that station with my gang and we're going to kick your candy ass.
Britney: Ooo I'm so scared. Like I have bodyguards.
Molly: And lets see how long they stick around when I pull out my gun bitch.
Britney: Like ok.
DJ: Ok, let's take one more caller shall we?
Caller: {Deep manly voice} Hello?
DJ: Yeah what's your question?
Caller: Britney, don't you think Nick Carter is the sexiest man alive?
Britney: No.
Caller: Don't lie, you tolds me the other day you did.
Britney: {Laughs} I didn't even like know you.
Caller: I is Nick, remember you told me I is sexy?
DJ: Nick?!? Again?
Britney: Nick, I never like told you that, I said you weren't sexy. You had like all this powder sugar around your mouth and it was nasty.
Nick: Did not~! {Starts to sing} Am I sexual?
Britney: No?
Nick: I is too. I gots a ghetto booty.
Britney: Whatever, Justin has a ghetto body.
Nick: Lies~! I hate you bitch.
{Just then there's banging on the window}
Britney: What's that?
DJ: Looks like there's about 300 girls outside...
Britney: Fans~!
DJ: Yeah they're fans alright, but not your fans.
Britney: What?
DJ: Look for yourself...
{Britney stands up and looks out the window. There she sees a million girls holding posters that say, "Death to Britney."}
Britney: {Gasps} Backstreet Boys fans~!
Nick: They think I is sexy.
Britney: Shut up...what am I going to do?
DJ: Oh my God they've got your mother~!
Britney: Mommy?
DJ: This is not a pretty sight.
{Britney's Mom can be heard outside}
Britney's Mom: I brand you all complete morons~! Ahhhhh~! Let go of me~!
Britney: Poor mommy.
DJ: I'm outta here~!
Britney: Wait come back~! Don't leave me here alone.
Nick: Am I sexual?
Britney: No you little shit. Like I'm going to die aren't I?
Nick: I thinks so.
{Just then the window breaks and the fans come running inside to the station. They're chanting, "Debbie Gibson for Ever, Die Britney Die~!"}
Britney: Didn't they see the Rolling Stone issue I was in? I'm not bubble-gum Pop~!
{The fans get to where Britney is}
Mandy: Remember me? I called in?
Britney: {Giggles} No?
Molly: What about me? I told I was going to bring my gang...
Britney: {Shakes head} No?
Molly: We're going to see if she really does have implants~!
Mandy: Kill the bitch~!
{The fans draw in on Britney and she can be heard screaming, "No, get away, I just had that done~!"}
Mandy: {Holds up implant} I found one~!
Molly: I got the bitch's horse hair~!
Britney: Hey~! Give those back~!
Mandy: Ewww this thing kinda looks like a donut...
Nick: Donut?!? Hang on I'll be right there~!
DJ: Ok, alright I'd like everyone to welcome my next guest, the new Princess of Bumble-gum PoP, Miss Britney Spears~!
