Hi, this is NICK(Hey Nick nice lipstick, but passion pink isn't your color).

Hey, Hey, this is Howie I'm a total dork D.

This is A...J(Oh, how special)

Due to the fact that Pearlman is a commie bastard and had Kevin's microphone turned down we will not get to hear Kevin introduce himself(corporate bastards).

Then the video begins...

Ok, now lets see, unfortunately Mig is in full view of the camera(I=blinded?...you bet ya) and he's trying to play basketball...it's really so sad because this white Mig can't jump. There's also some skank (Samantha?) washing her car on the basketball court. Now I have a question, who in the hell would wash their car on a basketball court while people are trying to get their game on? Someone stupid that's who. Hey, did anyone else see the vanity plate with B-rok's name on it? That means either one of two things, it's either Mig's car and she's washing it for him (Huh, I'd be in the car trying to run his slave-drivin ass over), or she's codependent which is a shame.
Anyway after Mig's pitiful attempt to play basketball is over he comes back to the girl. It's obviously time for some scrumpin in the back of his car, so she has to hose him down first because you know he stinks. Now, I have a small question, what's up with Nick being stuck up Mig's ass? I mean does he want to watch? Is he the 3rd party? Are they going to make Nick a man?(This may require some surgery). Oh well, I suppose it's the thought that counts, huh?

Let's move on to the motorcycle scene. This whole scene is set around this one motorcycle...um who's messed up idea was this??? I mean what the hell is it's purpose? Is it suppose to make the BsB look "cool"? Sorry, I'm just not feelin the coolness. If anything it makes them look like a bunch of morons. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume this was filmed in Florida (call it a hunch) and the BsB are wearing leather pants and jean jackets? I don't care if it's in mid frigging winter, Florida is never cold enough to wear all that crap. They must have been sweating like pigs (no offense Mig). Oh and the smell must have been totally rank because this was back in the day when Nicky was young and didn't wear deodorant. Between Brian and Nick my nose hairs are frying.

Next there's the black and white scenes (low budget I guess). The first one I wanna talk about is the one when they're praying. Call me a stupid bitch but I just don't get this. Come on, someone please clue me in on what the hell it's suppose to mean?!? The only thing I've been able to come up with is that they see Pearlman in the sound-booth and they're praying to God he stays in there (Pearlman, that commie son of blue ass money...)
Moving on, then there's the scene where Kevin is drinking his Mega Man 6000 and pumping some iron (actually it looked like he was only using 25lb weights but shhh that's on the DL). So he's doing the wife beater thing and then he takes some water and he pours it over his head. Now, if I weren't a sexually driven woman I would say, "what a moron," but I am so I'm going to say, "yeah baby, pour some sugar on me~!" *Clears throat* Hmm, then there's another scene where I think they're suppose to be back stage or something and they're doing a little dance. Enjoyable. The dance is funny, it kinda reminded me of the NKOTB dance for Hangin Tough (Hey didn't they have a motorcycle in their video too? Oh wait no that was just a car...)

Finally there's one more black and white scene and that's where they are at some kind of dance/pool hall place (hey, is this the place were AJ had a Ritilin moment?) Anyway so there's this Jerry Kid trying to play pool...oh wait no, that's just AJ. And so this Jerry Kid, DAMN, I mean AJ is trying to play pool and as usual there's some cheap skank there and she's hoin' it because she takes money from AJ and puts it in her bra...money in exchange for sex? You bet your ass. So AJ gets a little ball in one of the pockets...I've got a cookie here somewhere. Then they move to the dance club part and all the BsB are grinding with some STD invest whores. Ohhhh! I know where this place is, it's one of those many strip clubs AJ goes to~! So the BsB get a lap dance and lots of ouchie STDs.
The End.

Anywhere for You Yes but would you stay there?

Wahoo, it's a beach party! *Gets out suntan lotion* Wait hold on...what the hell is that?!? Oh God no~! It's a bunch of ugly STD infested skanks. Skanks in a BsB video? Now there's a BIG surprise. I don't need to see those hos walking around half naked, blinding me with their dirty pillows. Oh God speaking of dirty nasty pillows, Mig has his shirt off in a few scene. My eye sight hasn't quite been the same since I seen Mig flashing all those disease carrying seagulls. Let me tell you though, I was so glad they made Nick wear that white shirt because those seagulls were enough bird to last me; I didn't need to see Nick's bird chest too. So, to whoever thought up that idea, mad props up to you homes.
Now the basic setting for this suck ass, I mean kick ass, video is the beach(South Beach to be exact). And so the BsB are singing on some big ass rocks. I think it's suppose to be at sunrise or some crap like that, again mad props to whoever thought up this idea because I didn't have to see Mig's face in the light.
Then they're on the beach and the sun unfortunately has come out so now, not only can I clearly see Mig's ugly mug but I can also see the vamped sluts in all their whore-wear. Man I've got a question and I know all the sistahs in the place are feeling me when I ask, why is it that all you see in the movies, and on TV, are women taking off their, sluty as it is, clothes and showing the whole world their boobies? Like we wanna see that fake mess. Now, I know all you hormonally imbalanced males want to see that crap because you=sex idiots, but as for us women, we don't. WE WANNA SEE SOME DICK~! Yeah that's right she said DICK. I mean if it's ok for you men to see women's dirty pillows then it should be ok for us to see your DICK.
I go to the movies and I'm screaming "Show us your DICK!" Then what happens? Some 2 cent slut takes off her bra and blinds me with her fake me out boobies. Of course all you morons, better known as men, are whistling and hollering because you finally got an erection from a girl rather than your right hand. The degrating of women needs to stop here and now~! Ok, I spoke my mind back to the video. Wait, you know what? Fuck the video it sucked anyway. If you want to know what happens next watch it yourself, because I'm sick of talking about sluts in their whore-wear who are too, oh so, eager to get naked and prance around like the 2 cent tramps they are.
THE BOOB FREE END!

Get Down

What exactly does Get Down refer to?

I must admit this is one of my favorite videos, for two very important reasons.

1.)Kevin actually gets camera time and it's all piss my pants, I think I need a diaper, funny.

2.) NO SKANKS~! Apparently the dirty letters are working...

So this video is one of the best. Now it all takes place on half of a giant discoball, just think of an Oreo cookie and the BsB are the cream filling. They're on this discoball and there's millions of TVs around them kinda like a wall. Inside the Tvs are sluts dancing, but they're not trying to grind up the BsB like in the other videos. Instead the BsB are dancing on the half of discoball, Oooo especially Howie YEAH BABY~! He's grinding and thrusting like there's no tomorrow, while I'm sitting there in a pool of my own spit for once in my life speechless. I mean I was feeling AJ and Kevin, trying his hardest to grind, but that was NOTHING, I'm telling you NOTHING, compared to Howie D and his washing machine equipped body~! But then I seen Nick's woof woof give that dog a bone face and I've got one word for homeboy...TWEEZERS! Now I know Kevin has thick brows but, bitch, those are sexy because they're not growing buck wild every which fucking way they can find; Kevin's are just BIG, while Nick's are just a napped up mess. So if you can get past Nick's brow you'll see Kevin in the background trying to dance (it's ok baby you'll get it eventually). Now if you watch this video try to just look at Kevin because he does some pretty funny shit. He's behind Nick and AJ trying to get some camera time...the boy's not clueless, he knows that he's deprived. So he's back there and this video must have been pre-Fatima because Kevin's dancing, if you'd ever venture to call it that, is just messed up. He's moving this way and falling that way, singing when he's not suppose to...just a damn shame mess. Then comes the little rap part. Now, I know I wasn't the only one who nearly pissed themselves laughing when that rapper guy was flying in the air. Who the hell was that guy anyways? Well, no matter now I guess, since he threw away any slim chance he had as a rapper when he appeared in this BsB video. Then AJ tries to rap and while he's throwing down da phat vibes Kevin starts to, how should I put this...HUMP AJ's leg? Yeah that's exactly what homeboy was doing. I have just one question...WHY? I ASK YOU WHY? Kevin if you need play that bad I'm right here waiting. I mean don't go humping AJ's diseased chicken legs. Then, all of a sudden, all the guys start to run into each other like there's a massive earthquake and I'm like what the hell?!? Who made up this queer dance move? (Hey maybe Fatima was there). Then if you look in the background you can see Nick on the ground and Kevin is standing over top of him, kicking the little fucker. I guess Nick was trying to mack on Kevin's man AJ. In that case... KICK HIS QUEER ASS KEVIN!!! KICK IT!!! So after Kevin kicks Nick's ass unconscious, the flying rapper accidentally chases into a TV, releasing the sluts that were dancing in it. Did I give you skankies permission to come out??? *Loads shot-gun* They, however, were no match for my gun and soon dropped like flies. I of course saved the day and the BsB from many little skanker diseases...they can thank me later. Everyone, after that, lived happily ever after in skank-free, half discoball land.
The End.

Quit Playing Games Yeah Nick, Quit Playing Wit Yo Self

Alrighty yet another video without skanks (Thank the Lord) and I'm not even mentioning the fact that they get wet which, I must admit, is rather SWEET~! Come on, who wouldn't want to see 4 out of 5 built guys wet and half naked? This is what I'm talking about, I'm all about the male nudity! Hell, BRING IT ON!!! But I'm getting ahead of myself again.
Now this video is suppose to take place in the ghetto but I fail to see the drug dealers and where the hell are the gang members to kick the living shit out of the 5 white boys chillin in their hood? Who do they think they are fooling? This all goes back to them trying to act hard, I guess the motorcycle didn't work so they were like "Let's try and be ghetto fabulous." It's more like "Pussy white boys trying to be hard in some whack little studio where the only think they need to worry about is the rusty pipes which could burst and get them all wet." So this hoopedy setting also has a basketball court and bleachers (Awww what? No cheerleader?) I think this video was also pre-Fatima because, again, Kevin is just making up his own little suck ass dance moves. Speaking of Kevin, this video must have been pre-hair stylist too because his hair just one big mess. In fact all the BsB are looking major woof except for Howie who is just making my spit glands work over time. My boy Howie doesn't need Fatima or a hairdresser because homeboy has already got it going on in both departments. He is grinding and Oh baby, is that boy one hot mother...mad beats with the fine ass stick let me tell you! He ate his Wheaties and drank the MILK. Hey Howie do me a favor and share with the rest of the group.
So anyways, getting back to the rest of the losers, Kevin is making up some little queer dance moves and in the middle of his dance he looks up to the sky. Kinda like he hears someone calling his name. Then the pipes break and it starts to rain and they all get wet. Now let me break it down for you about how the whole wet scene really got in there. See Kevin was doing his dance and concentrating hard on his next Jerry Kid move when he hears a strange noise coming from above. At first he just ignores it cuz he knows they're shooting, and he's an anal prick that won't waste money, but then it gets louder like someone is banging on the pipes over head. So, Kevin looks up and to his horror he sees Pearlman banging on the water pipes directly above his head. Now Pearlman, like I said, may be a greedy bastard but he's smart and he knows what we girls want, wet naked men. So he went to the BsB and said, "lets have you guys wet", and of course all of them being modest prudes said, "Hells no!" So my boy Pearlman took matters into his own hands and broke the water pipes knowing that the BsB would continue to shoot because they're all Pearlman whipped. Pearlman, that lying backstabbing no good genius! Now you know the real story behind the wet scene and we have Pearlman to thank...go figure.
Anyway so the BsB are wet and they're all making up little dance moves that suck. I mean Nick is in the back vouging while AJ is doing somekind of water flow movement with this hands and Mig, well, I tried not to look at Mig. Then there's Kevin who's in his own little I can't dance worth shit world, but Howie...Oh Howie he's feelin up his chest, dirty dancing, and making me wish to God I was that peach color shirt he was wearing~! All I have to say is that this video is all bout Howie. He never gets any attention, nor props so, Howie I give you one big up...you go boy. This video rocks, I mean I got to see the BsB wet and almost naked and that's what made the video, 2 thumbs up (and that's not the only thing that's up...)!
The End.

As Long As You Love Me As long as you don't dance with anymore chairs.

Well, well, well, if it isn't ALAYLM...HATED IT! I don't even know where to start with this one. I mean the sluts were there and accounted for, the queer chair moves..."PRESENT~!", and the hair, the costumes, and the props sucked like Britney Spears trying to get a record contract. Now I'm guessing that this video concept is that 5 skanks need some men to join their escort service, so they're holding auditions.
Up first is Nick with his, oh so popular, Dumb and Dumber blow cut, grease and all. I mean who cut this boys hair? A blind man with vengeance? Huh, anyways, so he comes up and they decided that he's just too young, and they don't want any statutory rape charges on their hands so they dismiss poor Nick. Next up is Mig. Now I'm going to slap myself cuz I think Mig actually was looking decent in this video *Slaps self across the cheek* Ok lets move on quick...so Mig is up and the skanks are looking him up and down(we all know one particular...uh could it be Leighanne?) Then they decided that due to Mig's heart condition they don't want to put in him at risk so he too is dismissed. Up after Mig is my Kevin and they think LONG and HARD about Kevin, if you know what I mean. But, lo, they decide he's just too anal and they dismiss him as well. Next is Howie and if you look close you can see me in the far far background with my shot gun and well the sluts were ohhh to happy to cooperate with me and they quickly ushered Howie away. Last and certainly least is AJ. The sluts decided that since he's the only one left and he's not too ugly and he'll have to do. They're about to offer him a deal when all of a sudden the BsB pull forces and attack the skanks. Now they're the ones looking for sluts for their up coming video INBYH. I don't have to go into detail of who wins, we all know who it is...um Leighanne? Der. So the BsB leave and then the skanks run after their new pimp AJ.
The End.

I'll Never Break Your Heart(2) I'm not worried about my heart, now my eyes, that's another thing...

~*~ Due to the fact I currently refuse to watch the first INBYH video there is no review, maybe one day I can bring myself to watch it again, until then, a cold day in hell, here is the review for INBYH(2) ~*~

Oh goodness me, another video that is slut happy. This is one of my most hated videos, I can't decide which one I hate more the first one or this one. This version has kinda a futuristic feel to it, a need to puke in the toilet feel too. Each BsB member gets their own little room...there's Nick in his wannabe a comicbook artist room, Kevin in his I took one to many trips to the zoo room, AJ in his cell, Howie in the whatever props were left over room, and of course Mig in his tree hugger room. Now aside from those scenes there's a whack ass tunnel room which I still say is a pointless waste of money. Here's a few things that they could have did with the wasted money...

1.) Dyed the rest of AJ's hoopedy hair.

2.) Got Howie a REAL room theme.

3.) Washed and cut Nick's greasy hair.

4.) Bought some food for Kevin's chick I know that skank="Will work 4 Food."

5.) Got AJ a mirror that wasn't cracked to a million pieces.

6.) Clothed the skanks in the video.

7.) Bought Leighanne a bra.

See I'm tell you that money was wasted~! Now each BsB member got a ho, must have came with the room. Nick's ho looks like she's underage and I think someone should call the proper authorities because, I do believe, you have to be at least 18 to be in a porno. Howie's ho looked foreign...I want to see that bitch's greencard and if she ain't got one deport her ass. Then there's Mig's chick who must have been busy puking up her food cuz that bitch lost I don't how much weight for this video. I mean in the ASLYLM video she was a nice normal size but then hello Kate Moss right in the toilet...but that's ok because I happen to actually like Leighanne. Next is AJ's chick and I wanna know what the hell kind of animal did she kill to get that jacket of hers? I think I seen that thing moving a couple times. Hey skank you might want to run that shit over one more time because it doesn't look completely dead yet. Finally there's Kevin's stick I mean chick. All I have to say is DAMN! DA BITCH IS THIN! Someone needs to feed her. I mean she looks like she skipped a couple all her meals. She=Deprived? HELL YEAH THAT BITCH IS PASS DEPRIVED SHE'S STARVED! I seen her gnawing on Kevin's arm while she was in that tub. Give her a chicken wing or something! Good God, is this the message we went to send to the young girls that watch these BsB videos? I hope not. I mean when you can see the damn food going down your stomach because you got that bony of an ass, then you've got a problem called an EATING DISORDER. Damnit I'm sick of this video, if you want to know what happens after Kevin's chick dies of malnutrition you'll have to watch the Sally Strutters video yourself. I'm through with it. I'm hungry *Takes out rack of lamb*
The End.

Everybody Everybody who's not a moron and would have stayed on the bus.

This happens to be my absolute favorite Backstreet Boys video...as well as one of my favorite songs. Now this video is fun and all, but it lacks a certain reality to it. First off you've got this famous group traveling and their tour bus breaks down. Now I know for a fact they have more than one bus so if one breaks down they can all squeeze their asses onto another one. Second, those tour buses are the mack daddies of buses, you've got the TVs, VCRs, the PHONES! I mean they leave their bus which had the mad phone hook up just to go to a rickety old mansion, which looks like it's just crawling with psycho fans?!? Ok, sure.
The only smart one in the whole group who thought to bring a phone on this little expedition is Howie. Of course, wouldn't you know it, he forgot to charge it, so they=stuck at Hell House with their bus driver who looks like he just escaped from the insane asylum where Nsync filmed I Drive Myself Crazy. Luckily psychopathic bus driver man leaves to "go get help" yeah right, and they'll be no skanks in this video. So then those stupid mofos decided to split up and sleep in sperate rooms. Now you know if that was me I would have been like "Hell no we=buddy system and all sleep in the same bed!" Wait no, on second thought, Howie and AJ together, Nick and Brian, and then Kevin and me. YEAH BABY! Oh sorry, so anyway, the BsB split up and if that's not a cue for something bad to happen I don't know what is...it's like giving Britney Spears a microphone. Then a whole lot of mofo shit goes down in the Hell House Hood.
First Mig wakes up and he's Pimp Daddy Wolfboy. Then there's AJ who is suppose to be the Phantom of the Opera but looks more like Corky the kid from Life Goes On (remember that Halloween episode?) Next there's Howie who is Count Doofo I mean Dracula and then Nick who is AssWipe Boy, I mean the mummy. Finally last and certainly least on Pearlman's prop list, is Kevin who is Dr. I Need some Camera Time and Mr. Please Let Me Sing. So these transformed BsB members are in this huge ballroom with a phat looking floor. Speaking of pimps, Mig brought all his whores with him and they decide they're all going to dance a little ditty. Cue dancers...um try not to get Kevin in the shot. Then they cut to the different BsB members in their outfits. Um lets start with Mig. He's jumping off the walls and doing backflips throughout the scenes....Bad angeldust??? You bet your crack addicted ass. Next there's AJ who has 4 whores of his own, must have impressed them with his autistic impression. It was either that or he offered them money because those whores look rather cheap, 2 cent whores in fact.

***It's math time everybody***

If AJ has 8 cents and 4 whores how much did he pay for Muffy, Buffy, Bambi, and Ginger each?

Alrighty here's a tuff one for you, if 3 out of the 4 whores are underage how many counts of statutory rape will AJ be charged with...Bonus: How many years will AJ be dropping the soap after he is convicted?

Moving on, then we have Nick and his tomb scene, just one question...WHO IN THE HELL LET HIM OUT?!? I mean he was kept safely away in that tomb, but then some slut fan had to let him out and I wanna know which one of you it was....I WANT NAMES PEOPLE!!! Then there's Howie who gets only one bitch(such a shame) but at least he gets some play. Too bad that skank has STD galore...see those two marks on her neck? HERPES! Oh and finally we come to poor Kevin who gets a, better brace yourself, briefcase *Gasps* Yes a briefcase...I mean I can so see how that goes you know SINCE HE'S SUPPOSE TO BE A TERRIBLE MONSTER AND ALL~! WHAT'S HE GOING TO DO GIVE SOMEONE A PAPER CUT WITH THE PAPERS INSIDE? BEAT THEM WITH THE LEATHER EXTERIOR? OH WAIT I KNOW, HE'S GOING TO HIDE BEHIND THE FREAKING THING AND WHEN PEOPLE COME BY, JUMP OUT AND SCARE THEM~! I tell you those prop people are some pretty damn smart bitches~! *Breathes* Anyway, there's a little more dancing, and me getting pissed off at the prop they gave Kevin. Then they wake up to find it was all just a bad dream. Thank God. They're about to leave when they see their psychotic bus drive who has clearly been injured by some rabid animal of some sort. And they stand there...Cue Scream *SCREAMS*
The End.

I Want It That Way
What? Burger King? Ok for some strange reason I couldn't quite grasp the exact name of this song...That's the Way I Like It? No, they already had a song called that. That's What I Want, I Want That, It's What I Want... You can image what it was like when I called music stores to find the Cd, "Um do you have The Way I Want It, damn no I mean What I Want is That, damnit whatever do you have the new BsB single?" And they would all reply, "You mean All I Have to Give?" No, did what I say even remotely sound like All I Have to Give? I don't think so, I already have 20 copies of that stupid song, I can't buy any more~! So this song and me were already off to a bad start. But then I seen the video and it didn't matter that I couldn't say the name of the damn song. This video was, in one word, HOT~! Oh my God *Shivers* was I drooling all over the place. It gave me tingles and you know how I love tingles~! I seen Kevin and I was like ,"DAMN DAMN DAMN~!" He was looking, like I need to tell you, FINE! They were all looking fine well, all except AJ, I don't know what the hell he was thinking. I keep telling myself he was going for the "Chris, Ugliest Motherfucker in the World" look. Alright AJ you've mastered the look now take off your shirt like usually and make everyone happy. Back to Kevin, he got his solo and I can't believe it but they showed him singing it in the video. Now that's history right there. I can I get an AMEN? Yeah I knew I could, because if you didn't like it I know me, myself , and Bob thought Kevin was the best thing since AJ molesting the stage with his pelvis. Actually that was scary but hey, whatever. Some fans call this a Kevin Liberation Day. Oh goody I'll get out my fireworks and we can have a celebration, oh wait nevermind, I'm not a loser. I mean the first time I heard Kevin, my baby, the guy I've stood by through bad hair day and even worse hair day, sing an actual solo I went mad cow but now I'm like ok he got a solo, now he needs numerous solos like Mig and Nicky boy.
Anyways, so the video takes place in an airport (ugh great setting) and they're walking through it and they're kinda faded and I'm like, "What low budget?" But I'm not complaining because Kevin had EXTREME close ups...I see my death threats to their management has paid off. And then there's some crackhead scene with them surrounded by actual fans. Alright, why wasn't I invited? They want crazy Kevin fans they should have called me, I would have showed up decked out in my "Kevin Gear" and showed them a fan. But no I seem not to have been invited and well it's ok I'm not mad just BITTER~! Anyway so they're engulfed by their fans and I wanna know what was stopping those fans from attacking the BsB? If I was there I would have ran up and started molesting Kevin...hell I would have even molested Mig if he was closest to me~! I'm not picky. *Thinks* Hmmm, maybe that's why I wasn't invited...
Ok, now I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret so this is on the DL...when I finally do meet the BsB I have this plan, see I'm going to put some Super Glue on my hands then I'm going to run up to, um lets just say Kevin, and I'm going to grab him. Then I'll be stuck~! Ha, Ha. Stuck I tell you, stuck~! Uh, sorry, I kinda lost it there for a second. Just ignore my outburst and forget what I said about Super Glue and Kevin, that's for LATER. *Dirty Thoughts* Getting back to the video, the little sluts I mean fans are there screaming. Uh, wait, did I just see Nick's girlfriend?!? Oops. Anyway the fans are jumping up and down having premature heart-attacks and I know any second one of those briandead morons is going to get the idea to mob the trusting BsB. No, Kevin baby, run those VD bags have diseases....RUN. But do they listen? Hell no, and then what happens? Kevin is attacked by a serial killer fan named Amanda. She grabs his arm and he screams out in pain...no that wasn't a laugh, it was a twisted grimace of pure agony. After they free Kevin from the skank's death grip they get on the nifty Backstreet Boys plane that's behind them the whole video, unguarded. And well, guess who is mad pissed that they weren't invited and is waiting for them with the super glue...
The End

20 minutes later....

Then I came to my senses, watched the video a few more times, and thought...what the hell was I thinking when I wrote this review? I think I was Backstreet deprived at the time, I would have even liked INBYH if they would have released it at that time. God I was worse than a junkie *Hangs head* For the love of God I was weak, I'm sorry, so sorry~! Please for give me, I'm only human...

Larger Than Life
Wow a high budget video...still sucked. Uh huh *Shakes head* should have figured as much. I mean with the way the BsB has been lately it's shouldn't have been a surprise that I wasn't going to like the Larger Than Life video, especially since I didn't even like the song. Like most of their videos, Larger Than Life had it moments, but I just wanna know one thing......"What in the Hell were they thinking~!?!" The video starts off all fine and dandy, I almost started to cry when I heard old school BsB, ah memories *sobs* but then everything just went downhill.
Note when I find that robot who woke up AJ and Mig I'll introduce him to my can-opener. Little shit, he had to wakie pooh those two morons did he? Did anyone see him wake up Kevin? No, that because Kevin was already up, defending Backstreet 11. So it's suppose to be the year 3000 and I really must say they've got some nifty inventions in the future~! Did you all see that dope, easy to inject, heroin machine AJ had? I guess in the future all you gotta do to get a high is hook up the tubes in your bodysuit to the wall pumps and your all set~! They also got those fancy flying surf boards.....was I the only one hoping Mig would crash and burn? Huh, oh well. Then there was Nick....robot? Again what were they thinking? I guess though, if I had to choose, I'd pick being a robot over just standing in a red room wearing a bright yellow bodysuit. Poor Howie got the low budget end again. Finally there was Kevin *sighs* good old Kevin. Was he looking fine or what? No, I really wanna know. Could anyone see him because I know I sure as hell couldn't...not with all that crap in the way. Who's brilliant idea was it to put the cute one in the space-pod? Crackheads.... So lets do a run down, we have AJ getting high (Nothing out of the usual), Mig playing somekind of cheesy ass future sport with some half naked skank (Was there any doubt?), Nick, the robot, dancing with other fellow robots (Ohhh, I just figured out why they made his body as a robot......man that's mean), Howie standing in a red room wearing a yellow bodysuit (Um who's that guy dress in all black standing behind Howie....eww what are they doing?), and last but certainly not least, Kevin playing around in a space-pod like he's Luke Skywalker or something (Kevin- you so funny). Whole video cheap rip-off of Star Wars? I think so. But then, dum dum dum, there's a disturbance in the force~! There seems to be approaching enemy space-pods driven by, Oh my God~! Nasty skanks~! *Screams* Ahhhhh, we're all going to die~! Let's give them Nick, maybe they'll go away... But no, Kevin has to be da man and try to kill the little skanks by himself....Whua hahahaha finally Kevin has joined our side. My hero. Now this I like~! Oh no~! Kevin look out, skank at 4 o'clock~! Oh my god, now they've infested the ship...what are we going to do?!? Dance with them?!? Hells no, get out your laser guns and show those whores who's boss. *Screams* Ah~! AJ and that damn belly shirt again, wait hold up *Laughs* Ha ha is Mig wearing a bullet-proof vest?!? Awww, poor Mig, he thinks I really own a gun. Does Nick think he's Chinese? Has anyone see Howie? Did someone locked him in that red room...poor Howie. Oh look, Kevin just threw that skank, that's right Kevin, she nasty. *Screams* Ah~! Damnit someone kill AJ. Whew, Nick is greasy. Still no Howie? Kevin wanna see the inside of my space-pod *winks* What the hell do you mean it's bed time again? Well, can we share a sleep chamber then? But....I...but...damnit~! The future sucks.
The End

Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely
Someone pass me a pillow... Usually when people are dealing with taboo subjects such as death they always try to think before they speak. For example my sister has this friend who is mentally retarded so I have to be careful not to open my big mouth and accidentally offend her. The same applies to the Show Me the Meaning video. I don't want to offend the BsB by saying anything rude like, get over it, or stop your bitching. I personally feel that they do need someway to vent they're feeling. I mean after all they're always told to just grin and bare it, so I think they kinda deserve a video to just flat out whine. Therefore I'm not going to say how much the video bored me, how much the video completely made me depressed and I definitely will not be saying how much I hated this video. It's the least I can do for a group who has done some much for me...like rob me blind.

The One
I smell something fishy Now usually I give kinda like a play by play of the video but since the BsB decided to make a half ass video I decided to do a half ass review. Actually it's the story behind the video...hope you enjoy it.

The Plot to Sway the Vote

The Backstreet Boys decided that their latest publicity stunt would be to let their fans actually pick the next single they should release.

Brian: Ha ha, our fans will eat it up like candy~!

Howie: {Singing} I'm craving you, I'm missing you like candayyy.

Kevin: Yeah, our new management is really sneaky...I love it.

AJ: {Adjusting his hot pink cowboy hat} Do you think the record sells will double enough for me to buy a matching silk handkerchief for this dope new hat of mine?

Nick: Ooo, and can I buy the new Barney in Neverland video game?!?

Kevin: {Rubbing his hands together} I'll have enough to finally get my brows waxed~!

AJ: {Patting Kevin on the back} It's about time old man.

Kevin gives AJ a dirty look out from under the two bushes that are growing out of control over his eyes.

Brian: Maybe I'll be able to buy Leighanne the 40 cart engagement ring she wanted...

Howie: And I can buy a fan~!

Kevin: {Laughing} I don't think we'll be making that much...

AJ: So does anyone know which song is in the lead yet?

Nick: Um...I think it's...um...I dunno?

Brian: Last I heard was it's Don't Want You Back...

Kevin: You know that that means...

Howie: Plan B?

Kevin: Exactly.

As Nick innocently plays with his Nintendo the rest of the guys huttle together to discuss "Plan B."

Brian: Ok so let's just tell him that it's going to be a western and he'll get to carry a big gun...that'll make him happy.

Kevin: Good idea. That way the fans will still be voting, but they'll really be voting for what we want.

AJ: Yeah, and when The One is picked as the new single we can have our management hire some Joe Smoe to throw together clips from our tour and call it a video.

Howie: Um guys...can I be in the video too?

Kevin: I suppose, but it's still the usual cost...1,000 dollars each time your face appears on camera.

Howie: Alright~!

Brian: This is too perfect not only well we not have to do anything to make the video but the fans will absolutely love us because they'll be in it~!

Kevin: Yeah, I can't believe how damn smart we are.

AJ: Ok so, um, Brian, since your tight with stupid I say you tell him about the video idea.

Brain: Fine with me. Hey Little Nicky...

Nick: Yeah bro?

Brian: The guys and I were talking...

Nick: Wow, I do that a lot too.

Brian: Yeah and um we thought that if the fans were to pick "The One" as the new single we could do a western...

Nick: A western? Cool~!

Brian: Yeah, that's what we thought....

Nick: But wait, what if the fans don't pick that song?

Brian: Well, that's where you come in. See the fans love you.

Nick: {Smiling} I know, but can you blame them?

Brian: So we thought that you could maybe mention that we were thinking about making a western and that "The One" would be the perfect song for it...Maybe even say that you hope that one wins?

Nick: You want me to tell them to vote for "The One"?!? But aren't the fans suppose to decided for themselves?

Brian: Yeah, but it's not like your saying to vote for "The One", your just hinting. Besides the fans won't be the wiser.

Nick: You mean you want me to lie to the fans?!?

Brian: Well, um, yes.

Nick: Oh, but I could never ever lie to my fans...they love me too much and I just couldn't betray their trust like that.

Brian: You'll get a big gun to play with in the video....

Nick: I'll do it.

The rest, my friends, is history...those commie bastards.