Cow Food Critic: Boone's Long Lake Inn

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Boone's Long Lake Inn
Traverse City, Michigan

The State of Michigan has one of the highest obesity rates in the nation, and I think I discovered why. There is a little place "up north" called Boone's Long Lake Inn. Located on Long Lake, no less. (Just outside of Traverse City.) Boone's boasts menu items of mammoth proportions. Their tagline in fact is, "Home of the 18 oz. Steak". The funny thing about it is that the statement is misleading. The New York Strip that arrives on your plate is nowhere near 18 oz. In fact, I'm probably closer to 18 oz. than that steak is! If you didn't know better, you would be reading this and thinking that it must be a rip-off then. But oh contraire. Without bringing a scale in to weigh the beast, my best guess puts the actual steak in the ballpark of at least 25 ounces! (This was in fact substantiated several years ago by the Detroit News when their serving arrived as I am told at a hefty 28 ounces!) And it's not just big; it's very, very thick. (And I mean several inches.) I'm looking at it and thinking to myself, "They must go through a lot of freakin' cows."

But only slightly more pleasing than a gigantic steak is the price. For $16.95 you get this gargantuan beast of a piece of meat, plus choice of salad, potato, and fresh baked bread. A very good deal in my humble opinion. But beware, the steak is only the beginning. Say you would rather have the grilled chicken breast dinner. Be prepared for three whole breasts over a bed of rice. Or if you prefer the pork chops, you will get 16 ounces worth. And, even the fried chicken dinner gives you six pieces of chicken.

Seafood also comprises a large portion of the menu, with items ranging from a shrimp dinner, Alaskan salmon, and lobster. Say you want to choose from the "Lighter Side" portion of the menu. You would find a 1/2 lb burger, a 10 oz New York strip steak sandwich, and a chef salad that is so big they must have used a whole head of lettuce, half a pound of cheese & one whole hard boiled egg on top!

On our recent visit, I ordered the prime rib and was given the choice of a 12 oz. or 22 oz. cut. Wisely, I decided on the 12 oz. I ordered it medium rare and found it perfectly pink with not too much fat around the edges. Everyone else in my party braved the NY Strip. Needless to say, there was plenty left over. I also must mention that the cole slaw there was the best cole slaw I have ever had in my entire life. No joke! Boone's will also let you share a plate with someone for an extra $3. Worth it if you want the steak but aren't used to eating 20-plus ounces in one sitting or don't have a dog at home to feed the leftovers.

But what about the atmosphere you say? You don't have to dress up fancy or anything. There is a bar area, and a waitress walks around taking drink orders while you wait for your table. The building itself is very large and very, uh, made of wood. There are rather expensive framed photographs on the wall that are for sale. In the summer, they have a porch outside that overlooks the lake, and occasionally have live music out there.

If you go, expect a wait of at least 30 minutes to an hour on weekend nights. Maybe more in the summer months when tourism is big business in Traverse City. They only accept reservations for a party of 15 or more.

Please avoid this place if you only eat vegetables (there is only one non meat or seafood item and that is the pasta primavera with Alfredo sauce - not exactaly a fat-free selection.) And make sure you arrive hungry. Very, very hungry.

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