What do I do to get myself into these situations? Are they the idiots, or am I?

The first part of this started a year or so ago, when I used to live in a nearby town that was just slightly larger than the one I lived in before I joined the ARMY (If you count "human" population, and not acreage...). I used to be a pretty "popular" kid in the local library of that town (I used to get books out, read them in one night, and bring them back the next day--they never exactly believed that I read them, but, hey, I had no friends, what else was I going to do?)

Well, let's jump ahead a little to my junior year..... to make this story a bit shorter... The town library I had access to in the place I live now just didn't have what I needed for the paper I had to do, so I decided to pay a visit to my old library...

Yeah, I know...The whole nostaligic deal was a big mistake on my part to begin with.

Anyway, to make this even shorter... the old librarians were gone, and the new ones were the typical bitchy replacement librarians (you know the type. "I have better things to do than to be here..you damn well better feel special that I'm taking the time to help you....")

Oh yeah. I felt damn special by the time they were through with me.

I did a lot to piss them off. I needed a new card, because of their new system, since, like, it's my fault that I didn't have the transportation to travel the four miles just to get the new card when they issued them. Then, for shame, I needed stuff from magazines, so they had to come out from behind the desk, and go to the storage room, because, for some reason, they thought of me as a criminal or something, and they wouldn't let me get into the microfilm storage area....(mainly my fault for being stupid enough to ask for help. Silly me.  I guess I'm not up on my LIbrarian Job Description.  I guess they do get paid to sit on their ass, among other things...)

Anyway, I ended up getting out eight books -- and I thought they were pissed before. Firstly, since they counted me as a new patron, that was technically illegal for me.  What's more,  they were from the adult' section.  Oops... (Which I honestly don't understand...I mean, I was like...thirteen, and getting books from the adult fiction' section in the other library....)
Apparently the 18' rule applies to more than just your basic porn.

"I'm sorry, I can't let you get these books out.."
"I think you kind of have to...I mean.... that's what libraries do, right? I give you this little card here, and I get to have these books for a few weeks in order to do my report... Oh, I know, it sounds ridiculous... I'm such a gullible person for believing that..."
If looks could kill...
"We never had to do papers on anything that required "The Coming Plague," and (insert titles of various other medical books here. Be damned if I can remember them...) when I was a sophomore..."
"First of all, I'm a Junior, and my area of interest happens to be deadly viruses. Since all these books are relatively new, it would have been impossible for you to need these books for a report when you were a Senior, let alone a tenth grader......(that, and I highly doubt that any of these subjects existed when she was in high school...)
Okay, so I'm a smart-ass when people who don't know me pass judgement like that... so sue me...

The funny thing is--they almost did!

She ended up giving me the books ( Victory..or so I thought..), and she told me I had three weeks to have them out, and that I could return them to my local library, because of this nifty little inter-library system they have.....

Lying bitch.

Oops, sorry..... allow me to continue.

So, I had them out for a few weeks, and I came to realize that I'd need them for longer, so, naturally, since there was no way in hell I was paying their fines, I called in and renewed them...I had about a week left on the books as it was.....
I returned all but three of them--the three that actually had stuff in them that I needed to use...and I renewed them again....
three days after I renewed those books--which would be about a day after they should've gotten the other five back.... they give me a call.
"Do you have... (and they listed all eight)"
"I have The coming Plague (and the other two)"
"Our computer says you have (lists all eight again)
---your computer can screw itself...----
"What was that?"
"I said I returned five of them..." (oops, didn't realize I said it out loud.. heh...)
"It also says that they're nearly a month overdue"
----here's where I had to refrain from hanging up on them. You have to understand that I was well into my third week of a particularly nasty somethingorother' that the doctors had failed, once again, to properly diagnose (they said it was a sinus infection. I know sinus infections. This was not a sinus infection...).... it was around Thanksgiving----
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I renewed them by phone several times. By my documentation, they're perfectly within the range of not overdue'... in fact, they weren't ever overdue...."

That was the first I even heard that they were overdue. Apparently, they never entered it into their computer that I'd called in those three times...

So, four weeks later, a few days before Thanksgiving Vacation' (after A trip to the E.R., and a proper diagnosis of bronchitis.... and one hell of a good dose of codeine....), I get a letter saying that they're going to take me to court if I don't return these books.

Haha..jokes on them---I'd returned the books two days before they'd even sent the letter..... Judging by the postmark, anyway...

They claimed I owed a good ten dollars in fines (later research revealed that it's now closer to $15..), that I'd had books out that I'd never even heard of...and, well..... that they were taking me to court for the cost of the lost books', as well as court fees...

Of course, they said in their letter that, if I were to return the books, they would forget about the whole lawsuit thing, and drop all the late fees...

Once again, jumping forward--a few weeks ago..

Another report to do...another case of  my library just don't have what I need'...

And I refuse to go back to that other one, so.... I go to the big'  library in the city'..... I check out three books, and what do you know...guess what comes up on their computer--that I owe delinquent fees' on books totalling at ten-something or other.

It's not like I don't have the money, and I could just go pay it.... it's the principle of the thing-- they lied to me, and so now, ..... basically I don't give a flying rat's ass. They know where they can go, and they can take their "delinquent fees' with them!
Of course, nice lady behind the counter at the city library lets me take out the books, telling me that they're due back on the 14th of May...

So I call in on the 13th to renew them.

Guess what.... according to their computers--and, surprisingly, to the stamp in the book, they were due the seventh...

Hahaha..... guess what! I'm not paying them either. Lied to, twice.

I think I'll stick to buying the books...it's safer.

font face="Arial Black">Submitted by Hunteron 4th August 1999