So, I'm here in Denver. Still. And though that shooting back in the day was tragic and sad, the media is still dragging it round like a housecat drags in a dead bird to get accolades from it's master. Which got me thinking about the whole thing again.

And now I'll tell you why.

I keep hearing about how these two always wore Marilyn Manson t-shirts and had the Doom video game(which tells me they were out of date, maybe they couldn't afford Quake or QuakeII) And that got me thinking about the sorts of people who have merchandise of their favourite whatever.

I understand merchandising, hell if I weren't still trying to get my shit together I'd be doing it. I understand Manson's marketing technique as well. Alice Cooper. See any publicity for a band, is good publicity. Particularly when that publicity is largely free, and without authorisation. The parents and religious groups are feeding the fire that they wish to extinguish. But we all know that already, so I wont go into a big thing about it.

But the type of people who wear this stuff can tend to say alot to the general populace about the band on their shirt or what have you. And that strikes me as unfortunate. Marilyn Manson isn't a high school killer. I'd bet he could've been had even one little thing been different, but that's irrelevant and I can't speak for him on this.

I thought about the types of individuals that I usually see wearing xband's t-shirt and realised that a disturbing number of them are not real bright. Alot of them are pretty fucking stoopid actually. Seriously, I don't want to make any enemies that I haven't already, but that's how it is. Ninety percent of these people don't actually get what xartist is putting out there, but it's "PErty cool musik" I'm told by the majority of them.

Mind you, I'm not immune to this. I should mention that. I'm not aware of any Manson shirts in my wardrobe, I have got the halo poster though. I have a Garbage shirt and a couple of posters. The posters I bought because, damn Shirley's hot. The shirt was a gift. I have a few Nine Inch Nails t-shirts, but in my opinion, at the time I got them, there really wasn't much to get about Reznor's music that wasn't obvious. I have the Sin t-shirt, the thinking there was that I figured, hey, Cain was marked, why not me?

I have a Slipknot t-shirt, and really like the band, wether or not I get it is immaterial at this point because I know the band and advertise that fact as much as possible along with the fact that they fucking rock(abashed plug). I also bought the shirt because I'd like Corey(08 for those keeping score at home)to get his ten cents or whatever it ammounts to these days. Oh, and the irony of only being able to find a Slipknot t-shirt in the bible belt for awhile was a nice touch too, which might have coloured my judgement a bit.

And now Wysp has come home and interrupted me and I've forgotten where this was leading.

Oh yeah, idiots. While the majority of people who wear alot of band merch, at least the ones I've observed, aren't all that bright, it would appear the people who view it are approximately apricots on the I.Q. scale.

Apparently by the same logic that concludes "to wear a Marilyn Manson shirt is to be the devil incarnate." I can assume that to wear polyester is to be really friggin' brain cell deficient. Though that's not actually accurate. The logic really isn't the same. We know the first hypothesis(if you can call it that) to be incorrect, the second however can be proven. The nineteen-seventies, among other things, were stoopid. They were also very orange and I have yet to figure out what caused that.

Mall security guards, on the whole, are the lowest of the evolutionary chain, they wear exclusively polyfibers. If cops want unmarked vehicles, they should look no further than the local shopping mall, nobody gives those bastards the time of day anyway.

I have noticed that, though they pilfer quite a bit of money from the collection plate, most televangelists aren't wearing Armani, so it's a safe bet that their suits are largely 50/50.

On the other hand, I could be pulling this outa my ass. Which begs the question, how in hell did it get in there?

That's just my opinion, 100% Swyndelian fiber.

~Swyndle

Uploaded 14th January 2000