Here it is, the sequal.
Stuff I Hate 2: The Swyndle Years
I hate Prick. I liked Prick when they were still Nine Inch Nails.
I hate Filter. I hated Filter when they were Nine Inch Nails.
I hate the chic at the drive up window. She's not to bright, and has no idea what no ice, and cheese only mean.
I hate Disneyised versions of previously good productions.
I hate Disneyised versions of previously suck-ass productions.
I hate Disneyised versions of historical events.
I hate Broadway musicals.
I hate Broadway musicals of previous works.
I hate Broadway musicals of previous Disneyised works.
I hate Micheal Eisner.
I hate that darned cat.
I hate fake fur.
I hate real fur unless its still on the original proprietor of said fur.
I hate cute and fuzzy bunnies.
I hate cute and funny buzzies.
I hate those things that stick out on the sides of lowriders. What the hell are those things?
I hate Rosie O'donell. Still.
I hate teachers that are retiring and don't give a damn about their current students.
I hate the Denver Public School system.
I hate not having the ability to drink far too much alcahol anymore.
I hate Tom Brokaw. He just seems to be a little stiff. I think he's got something in his ass. Perhaps he's a Muppet.
I hate Miss Piggy. She reminds me of Rosie O'donell.
I hate The Family Circus. It has less comedic value than Marmaduke.
I hate Marmaduke.
I hate the guy that does Kermits voice now.
I hate sports figures who can't get over themselves.
I hate political figures who can't get over themselves.
I hate celebrities that can't get over themselves.
I hate Brittney Spears, no matter how big they get.
I hate knowing that Filter got a contract, and I can't seem to get a band together.
I hate bigamy.
I hate Utah.
I hate states that are smaller than most towns.
I hate states that rhyme with Fontana.
I hate that thing in the corner. What in hell is that thing?
I hate the music industry.
I hate the film industry.
I hate industrialists.
I hate signs of the apocalypse.
I hate space aliens.
I hate cramped aliens.
I hate aliens from outer space.
I hate aliens from inner space.
I hate aliens from Utah.
I hate Shannon. Not my cousin Shannon, the stoopid bitch Shannon.
I hate Summer. Not the season, the stoopid tractor slut Summer.
I hate charlies in the trees.
I hate charlies on the ground.
I hate Charlie's Angels.
I hate the '70s. They were too orange for my taste.
I hate demons from hell.
I hate demons from Newark.
I hate non-smoking environments.
I hate bicyclists.
I hate roller bladers.
I like skaters.
I still hate Thag.
I hate the Olson twins.
I hate Mary Kay.
I hate Pamela Anderson...Lee- oh hell the bitch with the lips that are too big for the statue of Liberty.
I hate party games.
I hate game parties.
I hate The Wizard of Oz.
I hate your little dog to.
I hate Satan.
Lucifer was an alright guy I suppose.
I hate the Howard Stern Show.
I hate guys with facial hair.
I hate chics with facial hair.
I hate really bad updates of really good old shows.
I hate the Beast Wars.
I like The Transformers.
I hate white chocolate.
I like real chocolate.
I hate State of the Union adresses.
I hate fruity new-wave coffee bars.
I hate Starbucks.
I hate fruity new-wave coffees.
I Starbucks' cappucino.
I hate preppies.
I hate yuppies.
I think it's funny that hippies became yuppies and had a 2.5 of preppies.
I hate neck-ties.
I hate clip-on ties.
I hate the eighties and early nineties Ford Mustang.
I hate being turned down by chics that can't say, "No."
I hate not knowing who I went home with.
I hate not going home with anyone.
I hate not going home.
Go home.
I hate Angel trumpets.
I hate Woodstock. The concert, not the bird.
I hate the military.
I hate the NSA.
I hate not being a member of the NSA.
I hate Vietnam movies.
I like Credence Clearwater Revival.
I hate the United Soviet Socialist Republic.
If it was warmer, I might like Russia.
I hate pulling the plug.
I hate prolonged suffering.
I hate that tattoo of South America on Gorby's head.
I hate having nothing in common.
I hate being alike.
I hate you until you give me sufficient reason not to.
I hate Ms. Pac Man.
I hate Party Like It's 1999.
I hate 1999.
I hate the Y2k scare.
I hate the people frightened by Y2k.
I hate snakes.
I hate animals that don't do anything.
Consequently, I hate koalas.
I hate mentholated cough drops.
I hate the red coats.
I hate the white coats.
I hate descriptions based on clothing.
I hate the trench coat mafia.
I hate the actual mafia.
I liked Mafia the movie.
I hate Columbian drug lords.
It would be pretty hard to be a Columbian drug lord if we just annexed Columbia and named it Willie.
I hate Boulder.
I hate hate non-smoking towns in which all the citizens wear Birkenstocks.
I hate sandals.
I hate hemp.
I hate people who smoke hemp.
I hate people who wear hemp.
Stop eating the hemp.
I hate bad drivers.
I hate being a good driver and having the fact that I'm a fast driver interpereted as bad driving.
I hate the 9th step.
I hate "Have a nice day."
I like smiley faces.
I hate cold.
I hate not having any chics nearby when a thunderstorm hits.
I hate Hitler.
I hate men that look like Hitler.
I hate the Hitler channel.
I hate weather men.
I hate weather men that look like Hitler.
I hate weather men on the Hitler channel.
I hate weather men on the Hitler channel who look like Hitler.
I hate weather men that look like Hitler, on the Hitler channel, who predict cold thunderstorms just after the last chic has left.
I hate that last bit.
I hate John Wayne.
I hate Elvis Presley.
I hate Elvis impersonaters.*See aliens.
I hate Elvis fans.*See Elvis impersonaters.
I hate Colonol Klink.
Bob Crane looks just like my grandfather.
I hate Star Trek Voyager.
I hate words that mean different things but are spelled the same.
WHO FEEDS YOU PEOPLE!?!
I hate words that mean the different things but sound the same.
I hate people who learn to fire a pistol, and then by a semi-automatic weapon for home protection.
I hate standing naked atop a pyramid while millions of angry women pelt me with fruit.
I hate thinking out loud.
I hate being the only one who ever has that dream.
I hate the key to the city.
I hate the lock to the city.
I hate the Panama canal.
I hate E-porn.
I hate people that buy that.
A brass sheep.
I hate procrastination.
I'll finish this later.
I hate beaver dams.
I hate chastity belts.
I hate picking this lock.
I hate when I get caught.
I hate the English.
I hate the Irish.
I hate the Scottish.
I hate the Germans.
I hate listing my heritage on the wrong page.
I hate vikings.
I hate the Minnesota Vikings.
I like Ozzy Osbourne.
I hate Izzy Stillborn.
I hate that thing between your teeth.
I hate the germ fearing public.
I hate the public fearing germ.
I hate failed assassinations.
I hate words that have ass in them twice.
I hate people with two first names.
I hate people with more than one middle name.
I hate people named (place body of water here.)
I hate "Long Live the King".
I hate "The King and I".
I hate "The Devil in Mrs. Jones".
I hate it when everyone produces a cellphone at once.
I hate it when it was mine ringing.
I hate Bill Gates.
I hate Microsuck.
I hate billion dollar rabies.
I like "Billion Dollar Babies".
I hate it when the bell tolls for me.
I hate having my head removed.
I hate having it replaced backwards.
Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big!?!
I hate big butts and I cannot lie.
I hate being a pissed off individual.
I'm only happy when it rains.
I hate not knowing Shirley Manson personally.
I hate The Crow: City of Angels.
I hate City of Angels.
I hate films starring Brad Pitt.
I hate films starring Tom Cruise.
God help me if they ever end up in a movie together.
What's that?
The Vampire Lester?
I hate The Doors.
I hate the After School Movie of the week.
I hate Ricky Martin.
I hate Lou Bega.
I hate Kid Creole.
I hate Boston. The city not the band.
I hate Boston. The band not the city.
I hate Chicago. The band not the city.
I hate Los Angeles. The city not the, er... Nevermind
I hate John Denver.
I hate Bob Denver.
I hate driving in Denver.
I'd enjoy running over Bob Denver.
I hate running out of space.
That's just my opinion, I hate people who can't figure that out on their own.
~Swyndle
Uploaded 14th December 1999