Chp 6
Rose awoke covered in sweat. On and off for the past week shed been having this amazingly realistic dream of Howie. In the dreams, he made her feel unlike anything else. It was driving her crazy, especially since she'd decided totally against getting into an intimate relationship with him. She got up and went to the shower. She had to get to Rockos to listen to Howie's song. She knew she'd won, but she had a tiny feeling of regret. She threw on a pair of jean shorts and a T-shirt. She braided her hair, threw on some makeup then went out the door. She was surprised to see Howie sitting on the steps leading to her apartments.
"What are you doing here?" She asked as she went down the stairs.
"I didn't want you walking, so I figured I'd come give you a lift." He said, standing up. She walked past him and stopped at the base of the stairs and looked at him.
"Well, are we going to go?" she asked. He smiled and kept his eyes on her. She got goose bumps and told herself it was the wind
"You look beautiful today." He said seriously, walking to her.
"Thank you, but really..." She responded as he held the door open for her.
"I haven't lost yet." He smirked as he closed the door and got into the drivers seat. They got to Rockos and Howie grabbed something out o his car. Rocko was helping a customer and when he saw them, he motioned them to the back. They went to his office and sat and waited.
"You look tired.." Howie said thoughtfully as he glanced at her coolly. "Have you had trouble sleeping?"
Rose looked at him, knowing he couldn't possibly know what she'd been dreaming about. She tried to keep the blush from rising to her cheeks, but she could feel them burning.
"What are you blushing about?" he asked, laughing. He scooted his chair closer to her. "You want to know what I dreamed about last night?"
"Not really.." she responded, hoping he couldn't see her squirm.
"Well, you were there, and we were alone.." he was interrupted by Rockos entrance. Rose thanked his timing.
"Where's the tape?" he asked, sitting behind the desk. Howie passed it to him.
"Now, just to let you two know, I love you both but I'm doing this totally unbiased. He put the tape in the player and pressed play. A soft guitar melody started and Rose looked at Howie who was sitting looking at her.
The song ended and Rocko looked at them both.
"Well, Howie. That was something. I'm sorry, but it's a hit." Rocko smiled. Howie stood up.
"Thanks Rocko, I appreciate you judging." And he walked right out of the room, barely even looking at Rose.
"I'll be right back." Rose said and ran after him. She caught up right as he was getting into his car.
"Hey, wait!" She said grabbing his arm. He turned around and smiled at her. "Your song was beautiful. I knew you had it in you."
"I hope you'll use it on your album."
"Of course, it' s wonderful." All of a sudden he wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her to him.
"But, I'm disappointed I lost." He said softly. He leaned towards her so their faces were a hair apart. She tried to stiffen herself, but his whole aura was making her go lightheaded.
"Cant we forget your one term?" he said, his lips brushing hers a softly as possible.
"I don't think so." She said strongly, forcing herself to pull back.
"Oh, well, you cant blame a guy for trying" he said. He let go of her and leaned against his car. "Anyway, about the studio, we can use the studio in the basement of my parents house."
"That's great."
"So when do you work next?"
"8-4 tomorrow, then the next day off"
"Ok, I'll pick you up at 6" He got into his car and drove off. Things were going to get difficult from here on, she thought. She was feeling too much with him and she needed to shut off her feelings.
Rose stood in awe, trying to take in as much as possible. As soon as you step in to the house, you're assaulted by a thousand pictures of the Backstreet Boys. Gold and Platinum CDs, album covers, newspaper articles. It was 6:15 in the afternoon and there wasn't a peep from anywhere in the house.
"Come on. Put your jaw back together." Howie said, somewhat embarrassed. He grabbed her hand and pulled.
"It's like a museum" She said, her mouth agape. She looked at Howie, who was standing looking very uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry. I'm gawking. Very uncouth of me. Will you forgive me?" She asked, putting her arm around his shoulders. He made a non committal noise and walked towards the basement. He opened the door and started down. Rose followed, closing the door behind her. It was all very neat and organized. He had a couch and a table, chairs and all of the electrical equipment you'd find in a regular studio.
"I was thinking the best thing is a slow song to showcase your voice. A sure hit, a fast song and then another of your choice to begin with." He motioned for her to sit. He sat too and pulled out several papers from a stack. "The song you heard yesterday is the slow one I want you to sing. I've written several more and I'll play them for you and you can tell me which ones you like."
"Ok."
"Have you ever done any real recording before?" he asked. She shook her head no. "Well, we have a lot to go over..."
That night Howie talked for 4 hours about what everything did and how everything would work. He was patient with her questions. In 5 days she had laid down the first song. She was physically and mentally exhausted and she could barely talk so Howie decided they could take a break.
"Did you live here growing up?" she asked as she lay motionless on the floor. He looked over from his chair and laughed.
"You look like a big pink amoebae." He said, regarding her matching T-shirt and shorts in shocking pink.
"An amoebae with green hair?" she asked giggling.
"Yeah." He looked around the room. "I grew up here. I've added a lot to it, for my parents. Do you want a tour?" he asked, putting his papers to the side.
"Please." She responded, still lying on the floor. He went and stood over her and she smiled at him sweetly. He had to remind himself to keep things professional, for now at least. He grabbed her hands and pulled her up. He led her upstairs then stopped in the living room. He let her look at each picture closely.
"You look so young here." She laughed, pointing to the first promo print they made.
"That's enough laughing at my expense." He said, grabbing her arm.
"I'm not laughing at your expense. You were very cute." She said as she broke free of his grasp and went to another picture.
"Was?" he asked jokingly.
"Grown men aren't cute. Hot maybe, but not cute."
"So, I'm not cute, but am I hot?" he asked watching her closely. She looked at him over her shoulder and smiled.
"Let's say you've gotten better with age." She responded then went back to the pictures.
"Lets go upstairs" he said. She nodded and followed him upstairs. The first room was his old bedroom. It looked like he had never left.
"They kept it furnished?" She asked, looking around.
"Yeah, in case I want to come for a visit, get away from everything. I'm the baby, they can't help it." He said, sitting on his old bed. He watched her move around the room, looking at everything intently. She picked up a picture of all of his old bandmates. It was taken before one of their last concerts. They all looked so happy and excited. She brought the picture with her and sat next to him on his bed.
"Do you even talk to them anymore?" she asked softly, looking from the picture to him.
"No, we don't talk anymore." He responded. Rose saw the hurt in his eyes and understood all too well the pain.
"When we broke up, there was a huge fight. Everyone was so selfish and concerned with their own world. They didn't realize they had the power to rearrange 4 other lives. All I did was sit there, and say nothing. If I had spoken up, re might mot have broken up, we would still be making music."
"You'd still be friends" she said. He shook his head and sighed. Before he knew it, Rose had put her arms around him and was hugging him. They sat like that for awhile, not talking. Still embraced, Rose said "I'll be your friend" Howie laughed. She pulled back to look at him and their eyes locked. Rose got a little scared of the emotions she read in his eyes. Howie reached up and cupped her cheek in his hand, comforting her. He too could see the emotions in her eyes and he knew she didn't quite understand what she felt. He saw fear as well and he wanted to take it all away. He leaned towards her, and she didn't pull back. They were a breath away from each other when a door slammed downstairs.
"Howard?" Howie recognized his mothers voice and he jumped away.
"We'll finish this later" he said softly as he got up. Rose sat and tried to breathe deeply before following him. In the living room she guessed his parents.
"Howard, what a pleasant surprise" the woman said, pulling him into a hug. He eyes swept to Rose and Rose could feel an absurd blush rise to her cheeks.
"Mom, Dad, this is my friend Rose." He introduced them and Rose shook their hands uncomfortably, She could see the disapproval in their eyes.
"You're the singer?" his father asked.
"Yes." She responded. She stood awkwardly for a moment.
"Well, I was just about to drive her home." Howie explained. "Do you have your bag?"
"Uh-huh. I'll wait in the car." She responded quickly, and went out to his car. She had to get out of his parents scrutinizing stares. She stood by the car and waited. It was only a few more minutes until Howie came out.
"Sorry about that. I had no clue they'd be coming home." He said.
"It's all right." Rose said. They drove in silence until they reached Roses apartment.
"Are we working tomorrow?" she asked.
"No, I think you need the day off."
"Ok.." She paused. "Listen what happened at your place.."
"We can finish that now if you like..." he said, turning to her.
"No. I think it would be best if we don't continue down that path."
"Why not?" Howie asked.
"Because." she sighed.
"Rose, let me play psychoanalysis for a minute" he interrupted sharply. "You can't tell me you don't feel anything for me. I feel for you, and I'm trying not to scare you away. You're just scared. I'm not helping you record because of that dumb bet. I'd help you regardless. You've helped me gain part of myself back. The longer it takes for you to give in to me, that harder you'll fall"
"You don't feel anything for me" Rose said weakly.
"You can't tell me how I feel. I'm sorry that you're so scared of me. I'm sorry I've let my feelings go as far as they've had. I like having you around."
"Well, you've been very distant the past week"
"I'm trying to keep my hands off you for Christ's sakes!" he laughed.
"Howie, please." She looked at him like he'd just killed her puppy. "Can we please go back to being friends? Please?"
He huffed and closed his eyes. "I'll try" The conversation was going nowhere.
"Thank you. Give me a call when you want to start the second song, ok?" He nodded as she left the car and went into her apartment, leaving him alone.
Chp 7
Chp 5
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