My Ruin- Speak And Destroy
PROLOGUE
The musicians began to tune up though it seemed a pointless exercise considering the type of music they were going to play.
TERROR
This is what you call me...
I STRIKE TERROR AMONG MEN
I can't be bothered with what they think
I bare my cross, my soul, MYSELF
I FORGIVE... BUT I NEVER FORGET
I've been put upon this earth in FEMALE form
But I can handle myself with the best of you
As well as THE WORST
And I often have
I have the right to remain silent
But I choose to SPEAK, SING, SCREAM
I am LIPS, HIPS, TITS... I AM THE POWER OF A WOMAN
STRONG like music
TRUE like friendship
But without my FRIENDS there would be no music... ONLY SPOKEN WORD
FUCKER!
I am able to change
So I live without REGRET, without REMORSE only a REMIX
I am DRUNK, I am SOBER
HEAVEN doesn't want me and HELL'S AFRAID I'LL TAKE OVER
Don't bother trying to CENSOR me or SHUT ME UP
Because IT WON'T WORK
I am COLD and DISTANT yet WARM and CLOSE
To those who deserve to see that side of me
PART OF ME... THE HEART OF ME
You find ME so hard to understand in YOUR WORLD
The world you perceive to be so NORMAL
I AM DEFORMED... SCORNED, REBORN
I am ME
And I know exactly WHO I AM, WHAT I AM and THE WRATH I BRING
The UGLY BEAUTY, the LYING TRUTH, the VIRGIN WHORE... the QUIET STORM
A LOVER, a FIGHTER, a SAINT, a SINNER, a SISTER, a DAUGHTER
OLD SCHOOL...... a BEGINNER
I have decorated myself with LOVE, HATE, TRUTH.... YOU
All of you, BOTH OF YOU, none of you... more than one of you
With LIPS LIKE SUGAR, EYES LIKE MEAT
I've watched MEN come, go and CHEAT
I SLEEP to DREAM and DREAM of SLEEP
I HAD A DREAM JOE
That you were standing in the middle of an open road
I HAD A DREAM JOE
That your hands were raised up to the sky
And your MOUTH WAS COVERED IN FOAM
I've been CRUCIFIED, JUSTIFIED and MORTIFIED by my behaviour
Both FEMININE and MASCULINE I am a CONTRADICTION and JUXTAPOSITION
My RELIEF is my RELEASE and only time will tell
ALL'S WELL that ENDS WELL
I am UNSWEETENED, UNCLEAN.... Been called DRAMA QUEEN
EX GIRLFRIEND, EX MEMBER... the TANTRUM, the TEMPER
I point my finger... TAKE THE BLAME
And this time I WILL OWN THE NAME
Because NOBODY is going to RUIN ME, if I have to I will RUIN MYSELF..
And it will be 'MY RUIN'
FUCKER!
PREACHER
It was a long time ago
Longer now than it seems
A place that perhaps you have seen in your dreams...
Welcome to my world
Is it what you thought it would be?
I'm trapped inside this HELL
Between BLOOD QUEEN and PURGATORY
A COOP filled covered hall
A tattooed BABYDOLL
I've got the DEVIL in my corner
And JESUS on my wall
Chorus:
Today is an OATMEAL day
I feel like a MONSTER BABE
PREACHER save me with your call
And I will be your LITTLE MISS SCAREALL
One eye's GREEN and one eye's BLUE
DEMONS, ANGELS a LOVE that's TRUE
Catch me as I start to fall
Let me be your LITTLE MISS SCAREALL
HALLOWEEN is over
But I will keep you SCARED
Take you to the FRIGHT SIDE
I know you'll come prepared
By your DEADLY NIGHTSHADE
Turn your CHRISTMAS black
And you can be my JOHNNY HOMICIDAL MANIAC
Chorus
FORGIVE me PREACHER
For I have SINNED
It's been 3 weeks since my FIRST CONFESSION
I AM THE ONE... hiding under your BED
My TEETH are SHARP, my LIPS are RED
I AM THE ONE.... Hiding under your STAIRS
With SNAKES and SPIDERS in her hair
I feel like a MONSTER BABE
LITTLE MISS SCAREALL
I feel like a MONSTER BABE
TAINTED LOVE
BLASPHEMOUS GIRL
DRUNK with SIN
SHE sits in her SKIN
Filled with ANGER
FUELLED by LIQUOR
DROWNS in DREAMS
With no SAVIOUR
From the TRUTH
NONE can SAVE HER
HE is HER own PERSONAL JESUS
And HE will not be HER last
GOD wants a piece of HER ASS
GOD WANTS A PIECE OF MY ASS...
I AM... A BLASPHEMOUS GIRL
I AM... A BLASPHEMOUS GIRL
I AM... A BLASPHEMOUS GIRL
I AM... A BLASPHEMOUS
Girl
MAGNUM MOUTHED I shoot to KILL
You MURDER ME with LEGS and GUILT
STRANGLE ME... with TRAGIC HANDS
GOD wants a piece of HER ASS
GOD WANTS A PIECE OF MY ASS...
I AM... A BLASPHEMOUS GIRL
I AM... A BLASPHEMOUS GIRL
I AM...
STAB ME...like a STALKER
RAPE ME... like a HERO
STAB ME... like a STALKER
RAPE ME...and BE MY HERO
BLESS ME DARLING and I will FORGIVE YOU
ELOQUENT and FULL OF GRACE
You SPEAK IN TONGUES behind my back
A DRY LUNG VOCAL MARTYR
I will SUFFER for my LOVER
I will SUFFER for HIS SINS
I will SUFFER for my LOVER
I AM SUFFERING FOR HIM
TORTURE ME with TIMELESSNESS
WORSHIP my first with every KISS
RESURRECTION of my PAIN
Drag me down OUR MEMORY LANE
INTRODUCE me to DEVOTION
Leave me NUMB with no EMOTION
STARS SURROUND YOU when I feel you
YOU look better when I cannot see... you
HONESTY... looks good to you
But LIAR should be your tattoo
CLOSE YOUR EYES
This place is HELL to me and I can NEVER get no SLEEP
There's a DEVIL in my BED with me who's TALK is CHEAP
You feel like HEAVEN to me all I want to do is SLEEP
You're like an ANGEL lyin' next to me you look so SWEET
CLOSE YOUR EYES
And let's pretend
REMEMBER WHY
We're just friends
My TANGLED HAIR will weave a WEB OF LIES within my SHEETS
And in the MORNING I'll be NAILED where he CRUCIFIED ME
Your BLACKENED HAIR will leave a STAIN inside my MIND SO DEEP
And when TOMORROW comes I'll WISH that you would WORSHIP ME
CLOSE YOUR EYES
And let's pretend
REMEMBER WHY
We're just friends
There must be a STORM IN LONDON tonight
Because it's COLD and RAINING hard
My BODY ACHES, my LOVER WAITS, I PICK THE SCABS FROM MY ARMS
There must be a STORM IN LA tonight
Because it's COLD and RAINING hard
I miss YOUR KISS. I miss YOUR FACE, I MISS THE STARS OF YOUR ARMS
The man that I LUST
In HE do I TRUST
For HE IS MY GOD
MY ANTI JESUS
HE IS MY SAVIOUR
MY SALVATION
HE leads ME into TEMPTATION
In my HIGHEST HOUR
My LOWEST MOMENT
HE IS MY TORTURE
HE IS MY TORMENT
And I will PRAY FOR HIM
TO REMAIN MY FRIEND
And SAVE ME FROM MY ENEMIES... FOREVER AMEN
This place is HELL to me and I can NEVER get no SLEEP
There's a DEVIL in my BED with me who's TALK IS...CHEAP
ABSOLUTION
I wanna live in THE PRETTY SUN
But DAYLIGHT just makes me NUMB
So I COVER UP my SCARS
With VELVET DRAPES that KILL ROCK STARS
Change my mood
LICK MY WOUNDS
TRUST will lead us to the TRUTH
DROWN myself in MISERY
SLEEP WITH MY ENEMY
DESTROY my DESTINY
Erase the MEMORY... of you
OPEN MYSELF TO REVEAL MY WOUNDS
AND I FIND THE MEMORY OF YOU
I wanna DIE on the DARKEST NIGHT
When there's no one left to FIGHT
fill my bed with LEOPARD FUR
THINK OF YOU INSIDE of HER
SUFFER for my latest SIN
Until I'm HAPPY in my SKIN
OPEN MYSELF TO REVEAL MY WOUNDS
AND I FIND THE MEMORY OF YOU
I ache for you... I ACHE FOR US
I pray for you... I PRAY FOR US
I wait for you... I WAIT
DENY thy LOVER and REFUSE thy NAME
FIRST, LAST and ALWAYS
DENY thy LOVER and REFUSE thy NAME
FIRST LAST and ALWAYS
When will YOU tell ME the TRUTH?
When will YOU tell YOU the TRUTH?
When will YOU tell ME the TRUTH?
When will YOU tell YOU...
My revenge on you will not kill you
It will make you want to KILL YOURSELF
HORRIBLE PAIN (WITHIN MY HEART)
I INVOKE HIM...and he comes to me IN MY DREAMS
DRESSED IN BLACK, HE speaks in a LANGUAGE only I can understand
His HANDS are WARM, his BREATH is HOT
He is THE HORRIBLE PAIN WITHIN MY HEART
My RELIGION, my SANCTUARY, my CHURCH, my SACRIFICE, my CONFESSION
My EXORCISM...MY WORSHIP IN PROGRESS
I have NO OTHER LOVER...NOW until FOREVER
HE IS MAGIC and when HE KISSES ME I can TASTE HIM ON MY LIPS
Like an ELIXIR
Far from INNOCENT
HE IS PURE EVIL
A SINNERS PRAYER...a SAINTS DESIRE
For him I would walk through fire
For him...I HAVE WALKED THROUGH FIRE
To draw him I WANT SO BAD...one gift I'll NEVER HAVE
He drives a STAKE INTO MY SOUL
MAKES ME BLEED, MAKES ME WHOLE
DRINKS me, DEVOURS me, INTOXICATES me...
With his LOVE, HATE, DEVOTION FAITH
As beautiful as JESUS CHRIST
He is as BRUTAL as THE DEPTHS OF HELL
In my dreams I press my mouth against his
And I feel HEAVEN...HORROR...TERROR
He look at me with that look
I call it his SERIAL KILLER LOOK
Like he wants to FUCK ME and KILL ME all at the same time
It SCARES ME..it TURNS ME ON
HIS EYES are BROWN
HIS STARE is INTENSE...MEANINGFUL, POWERFUL
maybe that's why HE's so FUCKIN' SCARY...because HE MEANS IT
Sometimes HE TELLS ME HE LOVES ME as he looks at me with that LOOK
Sometimes HE DOESN'T HAVE TO
I've NEVER felt a MAN look at ME with THAT LOOK
It's almost CREEPY....UNCOMFORTABLE....SEXY
I guess I know he could never really CHOP OFF MY HANDS
Or could he?
MONSTER
DESTROY ME
As WANT turns to NEED
You MURDER ME
Just to WATCH me BLEED
I live inside...my own MAKE BELIEVE
I SACRIFICE...what you can't see
I'm HISSING MAD
And I'm DRIPPING WET
I have no FATHER
I have no PET
And I'll be DAMNED
The day I die
Your ANTI MUSE
Your ANTI LIE
Chorus:
CAN I SPEAK?
I will DESTROY
IF I SPEAK
It will DESTROY
HOW I SPEAK...
I will DESTROY
WHEN I SPEAK...
It will DESTROY you
Another LOVER, anther MAN
Another VICTIM of CIRCUMSTANCE
I close my eyes
With NO REGRET
I know your name BABY
But I FORGET
My MOUTH is CRUEL
And my LIPS are mean
I'm DIRTY MINDED
And I'm OBSCENE
But I'll be SAVED
The day I die
I'll be your MUSE
I'll be your LIE
I see GOD and he's MY FRIEND
But THE DEVIL'S standing next to HIM
HE says MY NAME and I feel so WEAK
Just like a MONSTER who cannot SPEAK
I'm like a MONSTER....When I SPEAK
Am I a MONSTER...when I SPEAK?
Your just a MONSTER...when we SPEAK
So I'm a MONSTER when I SPEAK...can I SPEAK?
I'll be your MONSTER when we SPEAK and I SPEAK to DESTROY...
SPEAK AND DESTROY...SPEAK AND DESTROY
Yeah
SICK WITH IT
Sick with it
Sick with disease
Deny addiction
DOWN ON MY KNEES
Feed my affliction
SCARED TO BELIEVE
My own decisions
EAGER TO PLEASE
Destroyed visions
BREED LIFE
NEED LIFE
BREATH LIFE
KEEP LIFE
LIE AND DECEIVE
With no emotion
FALSE PROMISES
Loss of devotion
SCARRED BY DECEIT
My self destruction
LOVE OBSOLETE
Live in dysfunction
BREED LIFE
NEED LIFE
BREATH LIFE
KEEP LIFE
BLEED LIFE
HEAL LIFE
FEEL LIFE
THE SWEET LIFE
Is all I want...
CAN I BLEED FOR THE RITUAL?
Bleed for it
GOT A NEED FOR THE RITUAL...
CAN I BREATH FOR THE RITUAL?
Breath for it
GOT A NEED FOR THE RITUAL?
SICK WITH IT. Sick with it. SICK WITH IT, sick with it...
IT'S INSIDE ME
I feel it growing
NOWHERE TO HIDE
My anger's showing
And on this DARK NIGHT OF MY SOUL
I will continue to PRAY FOR US
And try to remember only the good things...THE SWEET LIFE
MY BEAUTIFUL FLOWER
YOUR mouth BLOOMS LIKE A CUT
SWEET and FULL OF SIN
I PRICK MYSELF on your THORNS
And I BLEED WITHIN
YOUR leaves FADE to BROWN
And I WATCH YOU DIE
In MY TORTURE GARDEN
Under BLACK SUNSHINE
MY BEAUTIFUL FLOWER
HE LOVES ME NOT
HE LOVES ME
HE LOVES ME NOT
HE LOVES ME...
OUR LOVE starts to SPOIL
YOUR LIPS BLEED like a ROSE
UNDERNEATH the SOIL
Is where THE EVIL GROWS
YOUR PETALS start to fall
And THE WEEDS ATTACK
In MY TORTURE GARDEN
The BLUE SKY is BLACK
MY BEAUTIFUL FLOWER
HE LOVES ME NOT
HE LOVES ME
HE LOVES ME NOT
HE LOVES ME
YOUR mouth BLOOMS LIKE A CUT
SWEET and FULL OF SIN
I PRICK MYSELF on your THORNS
And I BLEED WITHIN
OUR LOVE starts to SPOIL
YOUR LIPS BLEED like a ROSE
UNDERNEATH the SOIL
Is where THE EVIL GROWS
I AM EARTH...you can feel me TOUCH YOU
HEAR ME BREATH...cos it's MY AIR THAT LOVES YOU
and I AM FIRE...you will feel me BURN YOU
COME INSIDE...and I'll be WATER WITH YOU
HE LOVES ME NOT
HE LOVES ME
HE LOVES ME NOT
HE LOVES ME
DIAVOLINA
Chorus:
This is a MANTRA
For MYSELF
This is a MANTRA
For SOMEONE ELSE
This is a MANTRA
So be WARNED...HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED
SWEETLY
He smiles at me so bright it BURNS me
TONGUE TWISTED SICK WITH WORDS
She'll get what she deserves
SHE GOT WHAT SHE DESERVED!
See me
I LOOK AT YOU SO DEEP THAT SHE FEELS ME
Girl tricks make you believe
BUT SHE STEALS ME
I will be HER disease
DIAVOLINA SCREAMS...
KEEP ME
So safe inside your SINS are SECRET
I watch you live your life in REGRET
YOU'LL GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!
Sleepy
You CLOSE YOUR EYES but you can't DREAM ME
DIRTY girl so MEAN can't CLEAN me
I will be YOUR disease
DIAVOLINA SCREAMS...
And I SWEAR
SACRED as this HEART of MINE
STRONG as the TIES which BIND US
HEAVY as this CROSS
Which I FOREVER BARE
ETERNITY will be the HELL we SHARE
And what you want I DON'T CARE cos it doesn't concern me
THIS IS ABOUT WHAT I NEED
So BLEED as the needle goes in, I'm CREEPING under your SKIN
SOAK you in SICKNESS and SCENT you in SIN
So say YOU LOVE HER and I'LL BELIEVE YOU
But if you CAN'T then you only DECEIVE YOU
I said I LOVE YOU and I DON'T LIE...REMEMBER THAT
Next time YOU KISS ME goodbye
JUNE 10TH
Do you remember those words you whispered to me
On that fateful day in Italy Mr. B?
I can hear you singing
FACE ON FIRE
Blue skies, your eyes
MY BEAUTIFUL LIAR
I'm still breathing
YOU CAN'T KISS ME
Kill me darling
I KNOW YOU MISS ME
Can't resist me
CALL ME MISS B...I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME MISS B
Can you hear me talking?
CAN YOU SEE ME
Red lights my lips
SHE CAN NEVER BE ME...SHE CAN NEVER BE ME
Now I'm screaming
WHAT CAN I BREAK?
My hearts broken...SILVERLAKE
SAN FRANCISCO, SWITZERLAND, LACUNZA
ENGLAND, BUDAPEST,
MULHOUSE, JUNE 10TH
JUNE 10TH
Do you remember JUNE 10th?
I CAN'T FORGET JUNE 10th...
I remember when we first met
Do you remember or do you forget?
You were so perfect, so pure Like an angel
You were like an ANGEL...AMEN
And I remember thinking...my God
MY GOD HE IS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL
So fuckin' amazing
And every night I would watch you, I WOULD WATCH YOU WATCHING ME
And we swore that nothing would come between us
THAT NO ONE WOULD COME BETWEEN US
Do you remember?
ECSTASY in PARIS...laying down in the middle of the street
In the middle of the night
IN THE CENTRE OF YOU
I was humbled by your power, on the 9th plane...666 ACACIA AVENUE, somewhere in HELL
Diggin' the HELL OUT OF YOU, diggin' the HELL IN YOU...my CO CONSPIRATOR
My EXECUTIONER, my SACRIFICIAL LAMB, my FRIEND, my LOVER, my MARTYR
Are you my ENEMY now? You once asked me "IS EXISTENCE ALL WE SHARE?" ... you tell me
When you remember JUNE 10th, DO YOU REMEMBER JUNE 10th
BRIGHT RED SCREAM
You say I'm ANGRY...I guess I SHOULD BE
because it makes me HAPPY
My mind is CREEPY...I guess IT COULD BE
Depends on what you ASK ME
Your are my BRIGHT RED SCREAM
Girl wet dream
Your are my BRIGHT RED SCREAM
And when I sleep I dream of you
You say I'm SCARY...I guess I COULD BE
cause when I speak you FEAR ME
My mouth is DIRTY...I guess IT WOULD BE
Pretend you just don't HEAR ME
You are my BRIGHT RED SCREAM
Girl wet dream
You are my BRIGHT RED SCREAM
Nothing is what it will seem...
And I'm your SCARY TEDDY BEAR
LOVE me HATE me...I let you DRIVE ME CRAZY
CRUCIFY me or do you wanna SAVE ME
YES, NO MAYBE...it doesn't matter BABY
You're not so CLEAN that I can't make you wanna SCREAM
SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM with me...
BRIGHT RED SCREAM
Girl wet dream
You are my BRIGHT RED SCREAM
SCREAM WITH ME
SCREAM FOR ME
I'm not mean...I'm just not nice
And there's a difference
THANK YOU ARE REMAINING AT A SAFE DISTANCE!
COSMETIC
ELEGANTLY WASTED and I can taste it
Here I sit, trying not to fake this gift
Of the BEAUTY MYTH
I can't help but feel like this
Bored...of the BEAUTY WHORE
Cos my body just wants more
SCARS...and I can feel them
WOUNDS...I can't heal them
RED BRING MY MOUTH TO LIFE
BLACK REVIVE MY HAIR THAT'S DYED
MAKE UP always helps me hide
What I don't like on the outside
STARLIGHT, STARBRIGHT
First star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight
A BIRTHDAY GIRL
A BROKEN HEART
You name the DRAMA she played the part
Long lost DEMONS leave her GODLESS
Like her powder
Leaves her FLAWLESS
Sugar coated HEART SHAPED POUT
LIPSTICK just DISTORTS her MOUTH
MASCARA puts her eyes to sleep
Cos BEAUTY'S ONLY SKIN DEEP
BITCH du jour
Served on a platter
She's so PRETTY
But does it matter
MIRROR MIRROR on the wall
Watch her BREAK and WATCH her fall
STITCH HER SMILE
BRUISE HER KNEES
Walk among her enemies
BLESSED AM I AMONG WOMEN
TO LIVE AND LOVE IN SUCH A BEAUTIFUL TEMPLE
BLESSED AM I AMONG WOMEN
SYCOPHANT
One two Freddy's comin' for you
Three four better lock your door
Five six grab your crucifix...
Something WICKED THIS WAY COMES
PREMEDITATED EVIL numbs
Cartoon KIDS crayola SMILES
CHILDREN OF THE KORN FED STYLES
But I don't buy your LIES
I see through your disguise
Don't feel your SCREAMS or CRIES
WHY?
I'm sick of looking so sick I can't
I'm SICK of the SYCOPHANT
Sick of listening so sick I can't
I'm SICK of the SYCOPHANT
I see you BREATHLESS and DERANGED
A LITTLE GIRL who's acting STRANGE
Tryin'a SCARE us with your SCREAM
But it's all ROUTINE
And all you do is TAKE
STEAL and IMMITAKE
YOU and what YOU create
YOUR FAKE!
I barely recognize...you in your new disguise
COSMETIC COVERED EYES
Just tell me WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?
You put the MAKE UP on, take the MAKE UP off
SEARCHING TO BE FOUND
But you're so FUCKIN' lost...
Now THE ROAD TO HELL is paved with stones
And some of them are FAKES and CLONES
COUNTERFEITS which SUCK and BLEED US
Wearin' FUCKIN' ADIDAS
But something just ain't right, NO SUBSTANCE ONLY HYPE
With FAITH you GOT THE LIFE that made you rich
And a PUNK ASS BITCH!
Sick of you and anyone like you, sometimes I think I've lost my mind... or else this whole world's BLIND!
EPILOGUE
The band hit the chords harder than any musicians he'd ever heard. Rammed pure rage into each tune twisting the melody into a squealing mutant voice, banging the numbingly repetitious rhythms home with savage fury, playing each number so loud that with the help of huge amplifiers they rattled the filthy windows and almost made his eyes bleed.
back
a prayer under pressure of violent anguish
home
Email: dirty_little_korn@hotmail.com