There was a time in my life, where I was so lost and confused. I was constantly fighting a losing battle with depression and had turned to the bottle. It was only a matter of time before I turned to other things and start spiraling downwards to an end.

I had lost all faith: in God, in my friends and family, and in myself. I thought I had now where to turn. I finally rested upon the idea of suicide. I tried ending it all once, and then again. I just couldn't bring myself to end it all. It was so final, too final.

As I struggled on, I made new friends, but none of which knew who I was inside. None of them could understand the real true me, and see all the hurt I felt. So I carried on, still fighting, what seemed like my losing battle.

Sometime later, past friendships long forgotten, and news ones blooming and then fading away, I met her. Her name was Sarah. She was tall, had dark discerning eyes, raven curls on her head, and a nice tan. She was pretty, smart, and popular. Everything you wanted in a friend, but she was more than that. She understood me. This was something no one else in the world had achieved, but she did. With her my confidence grew, slowly but steadily. She opened my world back again to the love of Christ. The things I experienced later on my faith were so amazing. Never had I once before felt God in this way. It put me in complete total awe, and forever changed me. As time went on friends still came and went. Sarah and I remained friends. Occasionally, I had depressing break- downs here and there, but Sarah and my new found faith, redeemed me. Though, Sarah had showed my a lot, and proved that people could love me, I still could not love my self.

Spring approached and I decided to try out for track. Things I experienced that season are hard to explain. The whole team had this closeness to God I had never experienced in any kind of sport, ever. There, I also met the most inspirational person/coach, I had ever met in my entire life. Second only to God, himself, Coach Jennifer Underwood proved to me that I could be loved, and among other things, that I could run. She helped strengthen me spiritually and taught me lessons in life, that still stick with me today. I never wanted that season to end, but as all good things do eventually end, so did the season. Eventually Coach and her husband became missionaries and moved to Japan. We still keep in touch to this day.

Shortly before Coach's departure, I met Sarah's older sister Julie. Completely and utterly different from Sarah, only a like in the fact that the share the same parents, I found a friend that had gone through the same things. Through Julie, I learned that I wasn't alone in the things I experienced. That there were others out there hurting just as bad, just like I was. I learned slowly and am still learning to this day, how to love my self. It's a slow grueling process, but I'm making headway. Julie lives in Arkansas, but we keep in touch.

All three of these tremendous people, I owe a lot to. From each of them I learned something, about life, my faith, and myself. I continue to grow in faith and my value of self-worth is rising. I still have troubles, but I'm no longer alone. With God on my side and the three terrific friends he's bestowed to me, I know I will make it. I will survive.