I have been targeted by an online predator. I know this man has many other victims and while they are all adults – he is destroying lives. The man I speak is named Jeff.
We dated briefly at SUNY in the 70s. He left to go to another SUNY school and I never heard from him again until April 2002, when he emailed me “out of the blue.” Seems he got my email address from Classmates.com. (He has contacted other old friends in the same way) He was unemployed at the time and was online with me IMing every day. We caught up and he very quickly initiated an emotional affair with me. He found out that I am disabled and divorcing due to verbal & emotional abuse and had 2 small children. When he found out that I had been abused in childhood, he seemed very supportive. The emotional turned to cybersex very very quickly. I told him to slow down, I wanted to have lunch or coffee with him and catch up. He was moving way too fast. He was pushing to meet me at a hotel right away but I told him no, not until we had met a few times. I also told him I was not comfortable getting involved with someone who was married with 2 children. After telling him this, he would distance himself from me for a few weeks and then come back with a vengeance (I have since learned this is typical of Narcissistic Personality Disorder).
I remembered Jeff as a very sweet person in college. We continued talking for many months as friends, every once in a great while there would be cybersex. He admitted to me he was addicted to online-porn, role-playing and masturbating. He started requesting I do things for him on webcam, all the while telling me it was “the only safe way we could be together”. He is very big on guilt tripping and being “needy”. Obviously now I realize he's a sex addict, among other things. I sometimes complied but the things he wanted me to do became rougher and cruder and I started to say No to him again. I even stopped speaking to him for weeks at a time because I was so uncomfortable but again, due to our prior relationship – I kept forgiving and going back because I considered him a good friend.
Jeff fancies himself a writer and many of his articles have been posted at various web sites. He was always very anxious to get the comments readers gave on his articles so he could “reply personally”. He made a website recently and I have a strong intuition he may be using the guestbook and these comments to troll for new women.
I introduced him to an online female friend of mine in California. 3 weeks ago I learned that shortly after I introduced them – he initiated an online affair with her. He was going to see her in San Francisco to start an actual affair and was keeping us from talking until a couple weeks ago. When we did talk, after the initial shock wore off – we realized he was telling us either polar opposite stories or lying. He told her he loved her, called her every day, phone & cybersex, offered to buy her gifts and so on. It became evident that he is a deeply sick person – and where the lies ended & the truth started, I doubt even he knew. He has a pattern of “LOVE BOMBING” his new contacts until he no longer needs them. When he found out we had talked, he spent 2 or 3 days trying to call and smooth it all out. I now realize I don’t KNOW this person at all.
He works for a magazine and travels extensively. My gut tells me he's setting up liaisons with other women in other cities for liaisons. He didn't just run into us – he TARGETED US & IS, in my opinion, A PREDATOR.

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