| OSSAMA
BIN LADEN FOUND HIDING IN LOCAL MAN'S ASS! Police Took Mossy Jaw Resident into Protective Custody. Ossama Bin Laden Could Not Be Reached For Comment. You Do The Math. |
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 "I Don't Know How He Got In My Ass." Explains Local Resident, Seen Here After His Wife Spotted Beard-like Hairs, Sticking Out of His Ass. Upon Further Examination She Heard A Faint Voice Speaking Arabic Coming From Inside The Anus. She Then Called 911. |
| ALCOHOLIC DOG DIES IN BOOZE RELATED ACCIDENT. |  |
Two-Gyp-Bitch, Loved By Millions of
Children Around the World, Was Killed in a Freak Accident
at His Home in Malibu. He Staggered Out
in Front of Oncoming Traffic and Was Run Over. Friends
Claim He Had Been Drinking.  |
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VIGILANTE
APPRECIATION WEEK GETS OFF TO A GREAT START. Area Merchants Showed Their Support for Vigilantism by Taking the Law into Their own Hands, and Lynching Would-be Robber 18 Yr. Old Skutch Stevens. "We Killed the Piece of Shit." remarked Eb Greasy, Seen Here with Brother Dab. |
 FRIED BOLONEY REDUCES THE RISK OF
CANCER. (Get the Whole Story on
Page 3). |
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