So, you've made the decision to take on the full responsibility for the rearing and education of your own children. Good for you!

You are excited and feeling very positive about your child's future and your ability to school them at home. Now you've begun doing some research on just how to get going, and suddenly you may feel like the sheer volume of information out there will swamp you before you can get out of the starting gate! You may start to feel unsure of how to go about this and think your sanity must have been left in some dark drawer somewhere ... you envision a big yellow bus bearing down on you and are about to melt into a puddle of warm jello under the stress ...

Relax... lots of folks have travelled this road before you and they have been generous enough to leave some maps, signposts and guidebooks to help you follow in their footsteps or blaze your own trail.

"Where can I find out about the rules for homeschooling in my state?"

"How do I get started?"

"When do I start?"

"Do I have to order a packaged curriculum, and if so, which one?"

"How do I know what grade level my child should start with?"

"What about my child who's been doing poorly in public school?"

"How do I deal with my family and friends questions/accusations?"

"What if my husband doesn't agree?"

"Will my child suffer from social isolation?"

"Will I be able to handle being with my kids 24 hours every day?"

"Will my kids learn enough?"

"What about subjects that I don't know very well?"

"What happens if it doesn't work out?"



"Where can I find out about the rules for homeschooling in my state?"
The first step will be to get familiar with your state and local laws that govern homeschooling. Some states are very relaxed about homeschooling and don't require much more than a total of hours spent and a log or journal of daily eduactional activities and lessons. Others have stringent requirements from registering with the local school district and presenting a detailed outline of your proposed curriculum for acceptance to regular overviews and even testing. You can find out more about the specific laws in your state here: Laws/Requirements

"How do I get started?"
The next step is to find out about your child's interests and learning styles. This will tell you a great deal about how to present information to him/her in a manner which will be most likely to be absorbed. There are many theories on the different styles by which people acquire knowledge. You can find out more about them at Homeschooling and Learning Styles

"When do I start?"
When to begin or end your school year, or structure your schedule is first dependent on the laws of your state and local district requirements (see the info about "rules" above). Since homeschooling lets you set your daily schedule to fit your own focus and lifestyle, many people choose to either set up a regular schedule that suits their personal time-frames, or abandon such time constraints all together in favor of learning whenever the opportunity presents itself. Lots of folks find the very relaxed style of 'unschooling' fits their lives best, and look at all of life as a learning opportunity. See Homeschooling and Learning Styles for more info on styles of homeschooling.

"Do I have to order a packaged curriculum, and if so, which one?"
Again, some of this will depend on the laws in your state. Otherwise, it is up to you. Some people want to have everything set out for them and all the books, worksheets and tests provided. Packaged curriculum or an umbrella school will do this for you. It is very convenient, and can be a good place to start. You will know a lot more about how you and your child interact with homeschooling after your first year, and can make adjustments to your setup with more confidence. You may find that set curriculum works well for you, or you may find that you want more freedom to follow your own child's lead. See the following links for more on this: Curriculum, Book & Software Reviews, Used Books and Curriculum. You can ask questions of other homeschoolers at any of the Homeschool Bulletin Boards.

"How do I know what grade level my child should start with?"
If you are pulling your child out of the school system, you probably have an idea of where they stand with respect to their age peers.

If they were suffering trying to keep up, you will want to go back to the point where they started getting behind and help them progress from there at their own rate. There is a great place to find out about ways kids get stumped and how to help them regain their learning footing at The Three Barriers to Study.

If they are frustrated because of boredom in school, you may want to try a grade level or so ahead. Be sure to condsider the need to "de-school" for a time - giving the kids time to get past the routine of the schooling they are used to and let them regain a feeling of freedom and interest before entering a new method of learning. This is sometimes called "Decompression"

There are boards specific to Gifted and Talented kids, as well as those with Special Needs, listed at Homeschool Bulletin Boards. You can find info and links specifically for children diagnosed with Attention Defecit Disorder at ADD - This is a 'Dis'-ability?. There are also places where you can have your child's level assessed too, and I will try to add links to those very soon.

"What about my child who's been doing poorly in public school?"
One of the things I suggest to people just getting ready to homeschool is that you and your child (maybe DH too) take a chunk of time to re-establish your relationship outside the context of public school. Find out what you both want for the future (theirs and yours) and see if you can come up with some interesting and do-able ways to get there. Without the framework of PS scheduling, requirements etc., your child may find that having the freedom to pursue their own interests on their own time may make them have to really think about what they want - good practice for any kid...LOL!

It takes some time to overcome the negative aspects of their PS experience. If they are generally failing in the public system, it's a good indication that it is not the right place for them.

I wouldn't expect miracles - they're not likely to turn into the "ideal studious young person" (by whose definition??) just because the learning environment changes, but I've no doubt that you and your child have the opportunity to turn life to your own advantage here. Give them time to shed the cobwebs of an obviously uncomfortable school history, and room to spread their wings.

"How do I deal with my family and friends questions/accusations?"
You have already been responsible for your child's education from birth (some would say even before), and are more familiar with your child's interests, needs, and individuality than any teacher in any school will have the time to be. You have a myriad of resources at your disposal, and your child's best interests at heart. Homeschooling is not really a "new" thing. Most people who are experts in any field have gotten there through their own interest, commitment and perseverance in addition to, and sometimes in spite of, formal schooling.

It seems that the most common concern that well meaning friends or family present is the one of socialization. You can get a good handle on this one at
Home School and Socialization
Homeschool Commentary, and
Homeschooling Teens

"What if my husband doesn't agree?"
If your husband has objections, maybe he could benefit from a visit to some of the boards. You may want to collect a series of posts for him to read that cover some of the aspects you think are important. He may want to consider the contrast between a depressed teen barely getting through school, and a child who is free to pursue his or her own interests from home (provided, of course, those interests aren't hacking other people's computers and bank fraud, (snort)). Have him read the Homeschooling Teens and Socialization page here. The Socialization and Homeschool Commentary pages may be of help too. I hope he can see his way clear to sanction your effort. It will be hard for you all if he sees it as a bad thing.

Maybe you can talk with him about what his actual objection is. Did he have a great experience in school? If so, did he see that any other kids did not? Does he see any trouble your child may be having, or may be likely to have? Does he think that kids should just learn to 'tough it out' and fit the norm instead of be allowed to have their own views? Does he feel that if *he* got through it, his kid can too? Does he trust you to do what you set out to do? These are important questions, and at least a tolerance for each others' views is a necessity here, or you will be in battle for a long time. That would be to the detriment of your child and their education, whether at home or not, and could be hard on a marriage. On the other hand, the understanding you *can* gain from such discussion can make all your lives better.

"Will my child suffer from social isolation?"
If you have access to a local homeschoolers' group, you will likely find activities to share with other children there. If you live in a more rural area, there are resources such as friends and neighbors, grandparents, 4H, scouting, church, etc. When you are more isolated, there are still resources, including the internet, pen or e-pals, and the like. No matter what the 'outside' influences, you have your immediate family, and that is a good place to learn and practice valuable social skills such as communication, cooperation, sharing, self reliance, working as part of a team, and dealing with conflict. As sugested above, you can get more on this at
Home School and Socialization
Homeschool Commentary, and
Homeschooling Teens

"Will I be able to handle being with my kids 24 hours every day?"
When you decided to have children, it is unlikely that you did so just to go through nine months of pregnancy or the intricacies of adoption etc., just to wash your hands of them as soon as possible. It is natural and healthy to love your children, enjoy their company, and want to share the meaningful things in life with them. Just because it has become the "norm" to ship them off to someone else for their education does not mean that it is the best thing for your child or your family, or even the society. How better to model your beliefs and values to them than to let your children see you living them all the time? Children are interesting people! You will find yourself learning a lot more than school subjects when you commit your days to them, and homeschooling gives you the freedom to go so many places with them that you otherwise could never find the time to share.

"Will my kids learn enough?"
Children are hungry for knowledge, unless they have become so frustrated within the system that the joy has gone. If you can help them identify their interests, and show them how to find out what they want to know, you will be astounded at the results. If they really want to dig ditches, then they may spend their adult lives as happy ditch diggers. If they want to find a cure for whatever ails the family dog, they may become a foremost veterinarian. If you can instill a love for learning in them, they will go to great lengths to obtain what they want.

If you have chosen an umbrella school, your child will likely receive not only a diploma, but a transcript ready to present to the colleges or universities they want to apply to. Even if you have not, many homeschoolers have entered college with such dedication and skills that many colleges are actively seeking them out. See the "Can My Kid Go To College?" FAQ on the Sassafrass Tea Homeschooling FAQs page.

"What about subjects that I don't know very well?"
Even a college trained and certified teacher is not going to be proficient in every aspect of every subject. If you hit a stumper, you have access to classes at community colleges, tutors in your area or experts in just about every field on the internet. You may find though, that you too will gain new understanding of the subjects that gave you fits in school when you are going over them with your child. If not, seek help - it's out there.

"What happens if it doesn't work out?"
If you find you are having problems, don't get too discouraged. There are many places to go for home school support and help before you give up. Visit the Sassafrass Tea Homeschooling FAQs page. Ask some veteran home educators at any of the Homeschool Bulletin Boards. If you have tried everything you can and still cannot seem to get it to work, there is no need to feel like a failure. Homeschooling just isn't going to work for everyone. You gave it a good go, and it is certainly not a crime to send your child to public school. You will undoubtedly have learned some important lessons and gained some new understanding of yourself and your child. You will be better for the effort.


Be sure to visit the Links listed in the green box at the left on this page, and Sassafrass Grove's MAIN HOMESCHOOLING PAGE for much more information, many more links and lots of support.

Thank You for Visiting!





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S.A. McUmber-House - Sassafrass Grove Studio
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This page last updated 08/20/2000