Kindly supplied by: www.roadie.net
A roadie is a highly trained and
specialized technician providing services for touring
bands (yeah, right!). These services can
include sound reinforcement, lighting and stage
design, band equipment, rigging, pyrotechnics and
lasers, management (to hand out the backstage
passes), security, transportation, and on larger
shows there can also be production, staging, spot
operators, costume, make-up, catering, a piano tuner,
and even licensed day care. Crews range from a
one-man-band roadie who does everything except play
an instrument (well, sometimes they do that too), to
the mega shows with dozens of tractor trailers full
of equipment, and over a hundred roadies and stage
crew.
Depending on the job performed, the
skill level and experience, a roadie can make
anywhere from minimum wage up to 6 figures. Generally
it's a thankless job with long hard hours of
gruelling physical work, lightly mixed with some of
the most rewarding moments a human being can ever
experience. If your band chooses to employ the
services of a roadie however, it will often mean one
of your friends, or a hanger-on. And employ often
means pay in beer, or allow backstage. It's necessary
for roadies to excel in a number of rock-related
fields. One of the most important fields is that of
roadie fashion. A good roadie will always sport a
pair of roadie trousers. Bending over and picking up
heavy equipment without roadie trousers is
unacceptable. It's a well-known fact that a pair of
roadie trousers must have a waistline loose enough to
display at least three inches of arse-cleavage.
Other things roadies should
be expert at include:
Running across the stage mid-set, busily
occupying himself with an unidentifiable chore
(straightening of leads and cables, replacing of
gaffa tape, knocking over of beers, etc.).
Sitting out in the car park, idling the
van's engine while the band carries the equipment out
of the venue.
Keeping Groupies occupied by
giving them his un-divided attention, thereby
allowing the band to fully wind-down and relax after
the gig without undue distractions.
Making excuses for being late, and
entertaining your band with tales of his life, which
make you feel as if, by comparison, you really have
it all together.
Being proficient in the art of
persuading rowdy troublemakers to act in a more
becoming manner or risk receiving the full attention
of 'The Big 'Un' and being escorted from the
premises.
At all costs, you should avoid jamming
on stage with your roadie. Even if the roadie's
friends are in the audience chanting his name. Even
if it's during the encore. Especially if it's during
the encore. Jamming with your roadie (who is
doubtless better looking, more popular, and more
talented than you are) would be too good for his ego,
and is therefore unacceptable.
See also: Roadies Rules and Roadies
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