RH: Hello folks, Richard Head back once again with an interview with another of EWA's finest... Drakon!
Drake: Yo.
RH: So Drake, I hear you've finally got a job again after months and months of unemployment?
Drake: Yeah, Its true. I’m Happy.
RH: It's better than Psycohol right? Who is still unemployed...
Drake: Yeah, I have money so I can pay for his mom.
RH: Ooooh, harsh words there...
Drake: Eh..
RH: At least it's not my own mother...
Drake: Your mom's free.
RH: What?! You lie! How would you know my mom anyways!?
Drake: Don’t make me b*tch slap you...I heard it was fun.
RH: Ok, ok sir... now anyways...
Drake: Yes...
RH: Onto your wrestling career... as a whole, you have been known to take long periods off from wrestling, sometimes claiming to have retired... why is this?
Drake: Other then Natas and Mr. Ex, it’s really easy to get bored with the people there. So I take off for a bit.
RH: So a lot of the time you are disinterested in the whole thing... do you need a better motivation to get out there and wrestle?
Drake: Yeah, I think a few naked girls would make it a lot more motivational.
RH: Say... what if I were to get out there and wrestle you? Would you return for that? I dunno about being naked, but maybe I could wrestle you in boxers...
Drake: Is this the Kamilian?
RH: What... c'mon Drake…
Drake: Are you two kinda fruity together? Do you hang out in your boxers together?
RH: Ummm... well, only once we did… it was a slumber party, Drixon invited us all... But me and Kamilian couldn't get along with the others, so we kinda...
Drake: H0M0S!!!!!
RH: No no no!!!! Nevermind!
Drake: God-D@mned QU##R!!!
RH: Hey! I resent that! You take that back! I'm warning you, I will kick your butt!
Drake: No Slaps Head
RH: Oww! Ok ok, back to the interview...
Drake: Ok.
RH: To your past... you started in EWA1... excuse me, I meant EWA2, I was thinking of your look-a-like Chainz. I mean you two look exactly alike!
Drake: No we don’t, he looks so much gayer then me.
RH: But you act and sound exactly alike... we've never seen you two in the same place at the same time... yet you both claim to be different people! Explain to me how this is possible
Drake: Because me and Chainz don’t get along. Why would I be seen in the same place as him, seeing how I hate him?
RH: Are you twin brothers or something?
Drake: Nope, are you twin brothers with Richard Simmons?
RH: Shut up! I look nothing like him!
Drake: Sure you do, some short shorts and an Afro is all you need.
RH: Oh whatever... and this is kind of like the Natas-Sandman look-a-like thing... you know anything about that?
Drake: No, not really. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.
RH: Well ya know what I think... I think they're the same guy... JBD182: Well, you know what I think?
RH: What?
Drake: I think you should mind your own damn business.
RH: Ok... I will... So your wrestling career... EWA2 is where it all began for you... how did this wrestling career come about for you?
Drake: I had heard through the grapevine that some pretty hardcore guys were doing it. So I felt it would be worth checking out.
RH: So as in "doing it" you thought some hardcore guys were having sex with each other, so you had to check it out?
Punch to the forehead
RH: Oooofff! Drake! Drake my man... I meant no offense by it... I mean I'd have checked it out if I heard that was going down... I mean... the wrestling...
Drake: Yeah sure, I think everyone knows what you mean. Tell me, do you like rainbows?
RH: Well it's got all the colors in one, I'd say that's pretty cool.
Drake: How do you feel about coalitions?
RH: Well, I really don't have an opinion... but if I had to make a choice, I'd say yah... they're cool.
Drake: What if there was a rainbow coalition?
RH: Well there's an idea... The Unity of all the colors... I like that... is there such a thing? I would sign up right away!
Drake: Yeah, Go right ahead.
RH: Ok, I'll look it up after we're done here...
Drake: You do that.
RH: Now back to the EWA...
Drake: Right
RH: You winning your first EWA World Title from Natas, how'd that feel?
Drake: How do you think it felt? I felt good. Very empowering.
RH: Nice... and speaking of Natas, you two have been greatest friends throughout your careers... forming the Legendary New Breed... what do you think of the Legacy the New Breed has left behind?
Drake: I think it will never be matched by anyone. No other group had the showmanship we did.
RH: I agree with that… the Doctors of Extreme may be good, but they don't have the history or controversy of the New Breed... are there any favorite moments with the Breed that you have?
Drake: I would have to say all of them.
RH: Cool, and you two have been friends outside the wrestling world too am I right? Strip joints, bars, you name it, you guys have been there...
Drake: We just had way too much fun to stop it in the ring.
RH: You two... you two are the antithesis to the Ninja-Splooge relationship… completely the opposite...
Drake: Well, yeah.
RH: That was actually pointless, I just wanted to bring it up...
Drake: I noticed.
RH: Yes, I see that... now after EWA2, you retired... why was that?
Drake: Wanted to do something else…
RH: And what was that? Nothing? Hahahwhahwhahaha I'm so funny!
Punch to the forehead
RH: Agghh!!! Man, I gotta stop making jokes at other people's expenses... it's hurting me...
Drake: I read the Natas interview, you got beat in that one.
RH: He did severely maim me didn't he?
Drake: Don’t make me add to it.
RH: Oh please! You wouldn't! Let's just get back to the questions... so you returned for the Post-WMX EWA.... and knowing you are a bit lazy when it comes to wrestling, what sparked your full-time return?
Drake: Seeing all the people out there getting tossed around was funny, and I wanted to be part of it again.
Drake with a Kick to the shin of Head
RH: OOoooOooouhuhhhhhh.... ummm Drake, I'm gonna hafta back away now... Head , skids his chair back a few feet, out of distance from Drake... And so you held the EWA and PXW World Titles during this return...
Drake: Yes I did.
RH: That was probably the prime of your career as of yet wouldn't you think?
Drake: For now yes, But it will change…
RH: Is there more yet to come, are you saying?
Drake: I’m saying the prime of my career will be when I pummel you into the ground.
RH: Oh, well I hope that is not today folks... I... really... hope... so with all this behind you, what kind of Legacy do you think Drakon leaves behind?
Drake lunges at Head and hits him repeatedly, Head struggles, screaming like a girl…
Drake: There is my legacy!
Head tries to recover, breathing heavily, and braces himself on his chair again for support…
RH: Oh... well... I guess you've reached your prime huh? Ouchies. That hurt.
Drake: That was hardly a pummeling.
RH: Oh no... ok ok ok... ummm forget about pummeling, just be nice.
Drake: I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.
RH: So from the EWA, you moved to the WWF, and won the Intercontinental Title... did you ever dream of holding a World Wrestling Federation Title?
Drake: Ah, memories...
RH: And those are recent memories...
Drake: Everyone dreams of holding the WWF title.
RH: You actually are still the WWF IC Champ I believe if I'm not mistaken...
Drake: I think so, I hope so.
RH: Any word on if or when the WWF will return?
Drake: When it’s decided to start again, that’s when.
RH: And will you continue to be a part of it, or sit back and retire again?
Drake: I’ll be part of it.
RH: Very nice, that's what we wanna hear...
Drake: Especially if I’m the IC champ.
RH: True... Speaking of the WWF...
Drake: Yeah…
RH: It looked like you and Natas sort of broke up at the last show.... with him and Psyco beating you down... what do you think of this? Is the New Breed actually over?
Drake: That’s yet to be seen. But Natas will do anything to be the best. That’s why he is the best. And he probably did that to help him later down the line. But I will never forget it...
RH: So you still have respect for him? And revenge in mind?
Drake: A little from column A, a little from column B.
RH: Ok... well on a lighter note, rumor has it that sometime in the past, you had sexual relations with none other than Rick Steiner... is this true?! I must know!
Drake: I uhh...don’t know what you’re talking about.
RH: But, all the guys tell me about it...
Drake: They are liars!
RH: C'mon fill ol' Rich in on this rumor....
Drake: Listen I know where you live...
RH: Ok, I'll stop!
Drake: Good.
RH: Now onto the quick question portion of the exam... excuse me, interview...
Drake: Ok… I don’t have to pee in a cup for this do I?
RH: No... but I've got one of Wolfman X's leather jackets I was borrowing if you wanna piss on that?
Drake: Umm, No, I’m good .
RH: Haha... Now Drake, what would you say has been your biggest feud... or worst enemy throughout your career?
Drake: Myself.
RH: Now... how exactly.... is that? You mean, against Chainz? Hahahaha!
Drake: No, my constant leaving(coming and going), @$$-hair!
RH: How about a best Match?
Drake: Best match would have to be against “Notorious” Jevon Hill… he pulled a nut.
RH: Oh... hey wasn't that Chainz who fought him? Just curious…
Drake: Oh yeah, well the thing with that is....
RH: yeah?
Punch to Head’s forehead
Drake: I’ve been drinking a lot lately so I got a little confused.
RH: Oh, ok, I see... so how about your best DRAKON match?
Drake: You see, I thought you meant best match I saw. You didn’t specify I had to be in it.
RH: Oh ok, I understand now...
Drake: Right… Drakon’s best match hasn’t happened yet.
RH: I see, who will it be against?
Drake: The Extreme Icon of course.
RH: I somewhat figured that... now who is your favorite Jobber?
Drake: I would have to say The Disruptor. He'll never be more then a lucky, over-rated jobber.
RH: Hahaha, now that’s a new answer!
Drake: I’m a new interview.
RH: Interesting choice of a Jobber… so besides yourself, who is your favorite Wrestler?
Drake: I’m gonna have to say, I don’t know.
RH: You sure are unsure about a lot of things aren't you?
Drake: Were you expecting a firebomb in your trunk?
RH: What? No... should I be?
Drake: Why don’t you worry about that later.
RH: Oh... ummm... ok, whew, whew... so you don't know who you like best... how about hate? Is there anyone that you hate more than everyone else?
Drake: KAMILIAN!!!! I WANT HIM TO DIE!
RH: I think a lot of people have that in common, he seems to top all their lists! I wonder if he knows this...
Drake: He's a Homo!
RH: Now what has been your favorite EWA Revolution?
Drake: The Debut of the New Breed.
RH: So EWA2 I assume? No wait... EWA1... but Chainz was in that... hmmmmmmm.... I thought you hated that guy?
Drake: Chainz wasn’t in the New Breed, He was Old Breed… Drakon and Natas are the only real New Breed!
RH: Well in the New EWA... but I believe in EWA1, he was with Natas...? Am I wrong?
Drake: Listen here...New Breed = Drakon and Natas. Got it?
RH: Ok, Got it! Now one last question before I move on...
Drake: Ok.
RH: Are you Chainz?
Drake: Are you Gay?
RH: Hey, now why bring that into this? That is just cruel…
Drake: I’m not Chainz. Are you gay?
RH: Hey! I'm interviewing here... not you... so I ask the questions!
Drake: coughs the word F@g.
RH: No more of this "Are you gay" stuff…
Drake: Ok.
RH: Ok, now let’s do name association... I say a name, you respond...
Drake: Are you a fruit?
RH: Fruit? No, I'm all man!
Drake: Right, all Fruity man!
RH: Grrrrr!
Drake: HAHAHA!!!
RH: Hey! I didn't grrrr! I was cold, I was brrrrr'ing
Drake: Hurry up would ya? I have places to be.
RH: Ok... name association... first name, Chainz... hehe
Drake: Old wrestler.
RH: Natas
Drake: Drinks almost as much as me.
RH: Wow really... Wolfman X…
Drake: Doesn’t drink.
RH: Psycohol
Drake: Doesn’t like girls.
RH: Well I'm sure he'd argue with that, you guys are so harsh on the boy…
Drake: Yes boy, because No girls will make him a man.
RH: Yah, well he has proclaimed Girls hate him. I dunno why, but it seems to be fact.
Drake: Girls hate me too, but I don’t let it get me down.
RH: Why so cruel to Psycohol all the time?
Drake: Because it fun to pick on him.
RH: So on with the names... Mr. Execution.
Drake: Funny when mad…
RH: Ninjarette
Drake: Fat.
RH: Ha! Big Ninja…
Drake: Dumb@$$.
RH: Mr. Splooge
Drake: Has buttsex with Dumb@$$ and Fatty.
RH: That I hear is true... and Kamilian?
Drake: MULLET!
RH: And what about the Halloweenies?
Drake: Always survive fights to the death…
RH: Haha... ok so wrapping up.... what does the future of wrestling hold for Drakon?
Drake: The Title. I will have the Title. No matter what.
RH: So... the WWF World Title is on your agenda...?
Drake: It’s #1!
RH: Alright, I can't wait to see the WWF return...
Drake: Me either.
RH: Now to finish the interview, I want to put up a little scenario for you...
Drake: Ok.
RH: Now let's say some weekend you went camping with your friends...
Drake: Hmmm…
RH: I know this has nothing to do with wrestling... but hear me...
Drake: Ummm ok…
RH: Now you wake up in the morning, and you find a used condom in your butt... would you tell anyone?
Drake: No.
RH: So you wanna go camping this weekend?
Drakon jumps on Head, and beats him bloody! Head tries to crawl away, but Drake kicks him in the n*ts and steps on his face! Barely conscious, and holding his b@lls, Head looks up at the camera...
RH: And that wraps up another fine Interview for me folks...
Drake: Later F@g.
RH: Was a.... pleasure...