RH: Richard Head here folks, and you wouldn't believe who I've got with me today... the legendary Natas from EWA and WWF fame! So what have you been doing all these months off Natas?
Natas: Sitting back and taking a look at the "new" EWA and the EWF and wondering how extremely gay wrestling is going to turn. It really sickens me, the direction it is taking. The EWA used to be something to be proud of, as was the old WWF, now they are both a big joke and I just don't know what to make of it. I wish they would both end and put everyone out of their misery.
RH: Well that's quite an extreme opinion you have there Natas
Natas: Yeah, well, when hasn't Natas been extreme?
RH: Well Natas is always extreme of course… why exactly do you think these companies are so bad? Natas: Apparently you haven't seen them lately.... slaps Richard Head
RH: Oww, hey! Ok, they aren't obviously up to your par you know, but give them credit, at least they're out there trying...
Natas: You're right. And you chose interesting words. Because I must admit, I enjoy the irony of the EWA/EWF being out there putting on sh*tty shows and the WWE putting on sh*tty shows while the WWF, which is actually entertaining, remains dormant.... for now....
RH: Speaking of trying... I know you guys stopped the WWF when your key member Psycohol left town... but he has been home for a couple months now... why in the heck haven't you wrestled yet?!
Natas: Yeah, Psycohol is back, but, unfortunately, I've had a string of bad luck. My grandfather dies, then my first son was still born.... Wrestling takes a back seat sometimes. It's been a tough time for me, but now, hopefully, we can get it going again…
RH: Yes, times have been very tough for you, and we are all very sad and wishing you the best here…
Natas: Hey thanks. slaps Richard Head That is so damn fun. And I feel better too…
RH: Errrr.... ummm, well back to your career... The WWF in particular... It was originally dubbed the XWA by you, and then when WWF on TV changed to the watered down WWE version, you guys took on that moniker… But besides the point, the whole XWA/WWF thing came about as a break of the EWA…
Natas: Okay, hold on…
RH: And it had a lot to do with Wolfman X isn't that true? Describe the circumstances that brought upon the XWA and WWF to us...
Natas: I said Hold on, GODDAMIT! slaps Richard Head
RH: Ok ok...
Natas: First let me say that the WWF started it all. We all grew up loving the WWF, it’s what wrestling is all about. When it became the WWE, it was like it just gave up/betrayed all of us. Like, they dropped the ball. Well, we picked it up. It might not be much, but it's more than Vince McMahon did.
RH: Yes true! And about your break from the EWA, which caused you to deviate to this other Fed?
Natas: Wolfman-X, as the owner?!? First he retires, and turns his back saying he wants nothing to do with the EWA, then he shows up and says he owns it? ANYBODY who thought Natas would EVER work for Wolfman-X is just flat out a f***ing idiot. So, since I went to Wolfman-X originally and said I wanted to start a fed, I just went to Drakon and Psycohol and said I wanted to start another one. Neither of those guys wanted to work for him either.
RH: Hey calm down there Hothead... I mean... slaps Richard Head Owww!
Natas: You know, I've never seen you before and you are fun to slap! slaps Richard Head You just look like you should be slapped around...
RH: Stop!
Natas: Or else?
RH: Ok, ok, I'll stop acting gay... is that alright with you?
Natas: Actually, my hand is starting to hurt a little. slaps Richard Head with other hand That's better. Now, is this interview going anywhere else, or do I have to kick your @$$?!?
RH: So back to the interview... you and WMX obviously had this feud going on camera... but off-camera in real life, the feud began to become personal... Have you guys dealt with the personal problems at all?
Natas: Of course we have, you d**k licker. We deal with personal problems all the time. Natas hates Wolfman-X so he smashes his face into a garbage can. Problem solved! Then Wolfman-X comes back for more, so Natas pisses on his leather coat! The real problem is Wolfman-X is too stupid to stop coming back.
RH: Ummm, one thing Natas before we continue further on in this interview... can you just tone down the language a little bit... it bothers me somewhat...
Natas: No, I can't tone down the f***ing language. Natas f***ing swears! It's part of what makes Natas f***ing Natas. If you want a f***ing interview with Natas then, you have to take Natas as he is! God, why am I here?!? I never should've agreed to this!!!
RH: OK.... ummm ok... whew... calm down Richard... calm down whew! This truly is the toughest interview for me to date folks…
Natas: Oh, and while I think of it.... I think watching Barry Bonds pout was one of the greatest thrills of my life. Go Angels, Death to BONDS!
RH: Hey, at least we share the same opinion there!
Natas: stares blankly at Richard Head What...did you....just say....?
RH: Ummmmmm...... I said uhhh... I said.... nothing, now back to wrestling... you have quit the EWA obviously, but have claimed that you will never set foot in the EWA again?
Natas: Right. I have gone uphill. The WWF is far more entertaining than the EWA was, especially the "new" EWA and we have a REALLY REAL World Title. It seems the higher I go, the lower the EWA goes.....
RH: And with the WWF you feel freer, more independent?
Natas: No, because I always do whatever I want to anyway. I just like it better because the "old" guys are getting better and better while the "new"(WWF) guys are much more entertaining. Mr. Ex defeated me once, and even I have to admit, the match had a lot of good brawling, while at the same time being funny as hell. You get the best of both worlds.
RH: True… was a great match.
Natas: Wow, what an interviewer. A one word response. I am impressed! slaps Richard Head
RH: Yikes! I'm sorry sir, won't happen again sir... But way back at the beginning of the EWA... it was yourself and Wolfman X who began the whole phenomenon...
Natas: Yeah, at one time I respected Wolfman-X. Then he had to do stupid sh*t over and over to put himself at the top. He has the most wins... so what? If he beat me once and Psycohol once and then did 14 of those stupid jobber gauntlets to give himself 60 wins, no one is impressed. Except Wolfman, that is....
RH: The Jobber Gauntlet... that is a valid point... he did overdue that somewhat...
Natas: And we are even in wins/losses with each other. That is respectable. But, that he has the most wins, that is not. And there are several other things like that that ruin his credibility too.
RH: So do you still respect the EWA's past though? Natas slaps Richard Head Agghh! Were there times you remember to be good?
Natas: All the times where good. If I showed up, it was good.
RH: Wait, now who has the ego now Natas? When you were there... hmmmph...
Natas: Hey, I never said I didn't have a f***ing ego! I deserve an ego. So does Wolfman-X. The difference is I know where and when mine stops and he just thinks he is and has to be the best at everything. At least when I show off my tapes, people enjoy them. Look at when we went our separate ways. Would you rather watch the "new" EWA or the WWF?
RH: Well the new EWA was interesting... I actually quite enjo...... Natas slaps Richard Head Ok, ummm it wasn't really good at all is what I meant to say....
Natas: See you proved my point!
RH: What point is that Natas sir?
Natas: If a fag like you likes it, most people would think it sucks!
RH: Oh so now you think I'm a fag? Just because I hang around with the likes of Michael Cole and Kevin Kelly and the Coach of WWE doesn't make me gay...
Natas: You BASTARD! starts choking Richard Head
RH: Aaagghh uugghhh uck uckkk gurgle gurg... Ok, I don't know them... I just..... wish I did... anyways...
Natas: Okay, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, but only because this will be printed… Me and WMX have been back on good terms, and during one of our conversations he admitted to me that the "new" EWA....... really did suck! There you have it folks.... It's out in the open!
RH: Oh really... well I will have to check with him to confirm this... but I'll take your word Natas my brotha… I mean, Natas sir!
Natas: OH MY GOD!!!! I'll KILL YOU!!!!
RH: what?! did I say someth.... Natas chases Richard then sits back down Aaagggghhhhh!!!
Natas: Back to the interview before you get hurt.
RH: Ok ok… now just wondering if you remember making fun of the PXW so much back in the days when Psyco first arrived in the EWA... you still have the same opinion on the PXW? Or more respect?
Natas: Of course I remember picking on Psycohol. It's part of my daily routine. Get up, shower, eat breakfast, pick on Psycohol.... Ever read Mick Foley's book "Have A Nice Day"? I am Mick Foley and Psycohol is my Al Snow!
RH: Haha... his virgin thing, isn't it hilarious?
Natas: And I have no respect for the PXW.
RH: C'mon, now I work for those guys... and it’s a pretty respectable company they got running...
Natas: One show a year, or two? Yup, it's awesome.
RH: But when they do put on a show, its a show to remember, but you wouldn't know, having not scouted them thoroughly…
Natas: And did I say you could laugh at my Psycohol virgin jokes?
RH: Hey, I have fun poking fun at virgins as much as the next real man... that’s right I'm a real man...
Natas: A real gay man!
RH: Well, there's no proof.
Natas: How come when you farted, it sounded like it echoed throughout the Grand Canyon?
RH: Well... hey I didn't fart! But this making fun of Psycohol routine you seem to have.... it seems to me that you and him somehow formed some sort of Alliance at the last show... I would never have thought in my wildest dreams this could happen! Is it true?
Natas: That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to keep your nose out of my personal affairs. Do you have any beer here, or what?
RH: Ummm no... only milk... us reporters need our calcium!
Natas: YOU SON OF A B*TCH! gives Richard $10.00 This interview WILL NOT continue until you go get me a 12 pack of Rolling Rock!
RH: Ok... ok sir...
20 minutes later, Head arrives back from the convenient store with the 12 pack in hand Natas watches Spongebob Squarepants while Richard Head gets beer
RH: How's this sir? This what you wanted?
Natas: Shh, Spongebob is on…
RH: Oh... ok...
15 minutes later after the credits for Spongebob roll...
RH: Is it ok to continue now sir?
Natas: Yeah. I suppose. slams several beers
RH: Ok, good, I've got another appointment in a bit, so... it looks as if you and Drake aren't quite seeing eye to eye these days... Natas slams several more beers
Natas: What? Who are you?
RH: Ummm, my name's Head sir, and I'm interviewing you... So back to you and Drake...You two were once the most dominant and groundbreaking team in these parts, the New Breed!
Natas: A new breed? Like dogs? They invented a new dog? passes out
RH: Folks... I have just learned a lesson... never bring beer to an interview ever again... it's definitely a mistake as I can vouch for right here! So ummm... I guess I could just continue this interview anoth... Natas jumps up and grabs Head by the collar
Natas: Look here, dipsh*t, slap I was faking it slap and whatever it going on with Drakon slap isn't any of your concern! slams Head back into his chair and sits back down
RH: You scared the living bejeavors out of me man!
Natas: Let's get this interview going! I have to meet Drak.... a friend of mine at the bar soon!
RH: Oh so you are friends... hmmm.... interesting tidbit of information there.... but about the New Breed, any favorite moments?
Natas: All of them!
RH: You were the groundbreaking team of the EWA, before there was a Doctors of Extreme…
Natas: And f***ing Blondie.
RH: Ahh Blondie, she was in an underground Porn Movie right? I don't believe I just said that word, uck...
Natas: Right. But, she can always say the Extreme Icon broke her in!
RH: Well I wish I could have broken her in, but I don't have two chances of hell in breaking any girl in... I'm pathetic
Natas: You are worse than Psycohol. At least he is straight!
RH: But... but... ok let's change the subject… Before I divulge anymore information...
Natas: Yes, let's...*cough*FAG!*cough*
RH: Do you believe that your EWA success had anything to do with Commissioner Squires being your number one fan? Always favoring you?
Natas: When I became the first EVER EWA World Champion, was Mr. Squires even there?
RH: Well no...
Natas: All Righty Then!
RH: Ok… now if I were to give you $15, would you go out and wrestle Kamilian?
Natas: No.
RH: You hate him don't you?
Natas: Yes, I hate Kamilian. One time we were supposed to wrestle and he tried to wrestle me in a pair of rainbow colored boxer shorts! I have never, ever wrestled Kamilian and I never will!
RH: Hahaha... boxers... Well I wasn't there, but rumor has it there was a match between you two off camera.... Is that just a rumor, or is there any truth to it?
Natas: No, Natas only wrestles for the camera…
RH: Ok, rumor killed, ouch! Was just trying to get the scoops, ouches! Ouchie!
Natas: What is your problem?!?
RH: Oh nothing... just overreacting... so you're not a big fan of the "Notorious One's" either are you? Tell me what's up with that…
Natas: Oh boy....... It's like this, I considered Jevon one of my friends and thought we had some good matches. Then, he became friends with Ground Zero and turned against me for some reason. I still don't know why and I don't care anymore. But, he tried to make me look stupid, so I just pointed out to everyone how stupid he was. I would love to wrestle him again someday, but, I don't trust him, so it won't happen, because even if you hate someone, you must respect them in the wrestling world and I have absolutely no respect for Marvelous Jevon Hill….. Look for Marvelous' response, coming soon in a WMX Guestbook near you!
RH: Oh that's harsh! How can you not respect him? I mean he's obviously got the talent as I have seen him on camera...
Natas: Talent? The Marvelous Slam, a bodyslam from a devastating 2 inches high! The Marvelous Setdown, a powerslam delivered slower than the grass you land on grows, or the famous Marvelous Edge, that he falls down after he picks up his opponent! Which one of those are the talent?
RH: Well that was EWA1's Jevon, he has improved I guarantee you that! Because I am Richard Head! And about Ground Zero... are you on good terms with him?
Natas: The last time I saw him, we had a good match and hung out later in the day. I would like to think so, and would like to hang out with him and wrestle him again. But, you never know until you stand face-to-face.
RH: True... as like to say... that’s the truth and I guess your stickin’ to it, right Natas ol' chum? Head elbow nudges Natas in the stomach
Natas: I'm warning you, I will kill you, if you make me.
RH: Ok ok, sorry, I forgot you were the Dark Lord of Hell... speaking of that, Mr. Execution still seems to have a problem with you holding that title… he believes he is the Darkest Lord of Hell…
Natas: Mr. Execution is a joke, literally. That seems to be his claim to fame now, and he should forget about the dark lord thing and go with the joke thing. It got him a World Title.
RH: Are you a fan of his?
Natas: I might have a little soft spot for him...
RH: Haha!
Natas: YOU IDIOT!!! I don't like anybody!
RH: Oh ok... ummm... Natas slaps Head Owww, man, there must be a huge red welt on my cheek by now... do you see any marks? leans in… Natas pushes head away
Natas: Get the f*** away from me, you queer!
RH: Ok ok... c'mon Natas...
Natas: The next time you lean towards me like that making those kissing motions with your lips, I'll gut you like a fish.
RH: But I didn't do anything with my lips... now your making me print lies! Pffft! Now you've had a tremendous career, you've done it all... is there any one moment or more that sticks out?
Natas: I don't know, there is a lot to choose from......
RH: I would agree…
Natas: I could name several, several things that are all great for their own reasons, but I can't pick one single greatest moment…
RH: Name a couple moments…
Natas: No, I don't want to!
RH: Alright…
Natas: Okay, you've convinced me.... Winning all of my World Titles has been cool. The time I finally beat Ground Zero is up there, all of my matches with Psycohol have been above average.....
RH: Ok.
Natas: F***ing Blondie was fun.
RH: But that wasn't an on-camera incident... or was it?
Natas: Hey, you just said EWA stuff…
RH: Ok, I suppose...
Natas: Oh, pissing on WMX's jacket!
RH: Yup, that was classic… now lets hit the quick questions, ok Dark Lord?
Natas: Okay… D**k face
RH: Oooooh I'm scared... you're so dark and it’s Halloween!!! OooOooOhhhh a Drak Lord sitting next to me on Halloween!!!! Natas kicks Richard in the balls Ohhhhhhhh, that one's gonna hinder me from doing my thing with myself the next few weeks... voice trails off as Head hits the floor and rolls around
Natas: Besides, I never claimed I was a/the Dark Lord of Hell, I just said I'm from the Deep Dark Depths of Hell. after a couple minutes and some heavy breathing, Head rises to his feet...
RH: Well that’s true, my mistake, actually Mr. Ex dubbed the Dark Lord name, now anyways, doing anything special for Halloween?
Natas: Did you inhale some helium?
RH: Well... you did kick me in the gonads… in the patooties…
Natas: I didn't think you had any... my mistake.
RH: Well they aren't big I'll admit, but... HEY! I didn't say that! Stop tricking me!
Natas: For Halloween, I will be sitting in the house with the porch light off, eating the candy I am supposed to hand out.
RH: Haha nice idea… so Natas, what has been your biggest feud would you say throughout your career?
Natas: I'd have to say Wolfman-X. But, he only beats out Psycohol because it went to the personal level.
RH: True. How about a best match through your career?
Natas: I'll be right back. I have to pee.
RH: Ok ok... Heads sits there, waiting... takes longer than he expects, but Natas finally returns relieved... Now the best match in your entire career?
Natas: It's a tie between the two with Psycohol when we had a Wolfman's Lair match followed by a Triple Tree Match in the same show.
RH: They were great matches.
Natas: That's what I just fucking said!
RH: I know... just let me conduct this how I always do please... how about a worst match?
Natas: Worst? Has Natas ever had a bad one?
RH: Well...
Natas: Let me think for a minute..... I don't know off the top of my head, but it had to be one of the earlier ones....
RH: Ok, how about a least favorite wrestler? Has to be Kamilian or Jevon right?
Natas: Personally or professionally?
RH: Professionally I guess...
Natas: Kamilian. But you got the two of them right on the money
RH: Haha! So Jevon is worst personally? Or Wolfman X?
Natas: Jevon, because even when WMX and I were on bad terms, there was still respect and it also wasn't hatred, it was just really pissed off and hurt.
RH: Ok, What about a toughest opponent? Who gave you the most trouble out there?
Natas: Wolfman-X, although Psycohol is a pain in the @$$ too… Wolfman-X hits harder though.
RH: And what are some of your favorite moves you use?
Natas: I don't have any real favorites, I just try to add a couple new ones every so often to keep it fresh and keep opponents on their toes.
RH: Nice, now is there any favorite wrestler out there beside yourself that you always root for?
Natas: Mr. Execution. I will always root for him... TO LOSE, because it is just so damn funny.
RH: Hahaha, and it really is… I've seen him folks, believe me! He is hilarious! Natas slaps Richard Head once again
Natas: Shut up.
RH: Yessir! Now what's your favorite EWA Revolution?
Natas: Well, it's really a toss up between 1, 2, and whatever you call the time between "Anarchy Rulz" and the beginning of the XWA. I could make a valid argument as to why any of those are the best.
RH: Any show stand out as your favorite?
Natas: For wrestling, Day of Destruction. For flat out all around entertainment, any of the "renegade" shows…
RH: Renegade shows?
Natas: I've heard any show I was part of after WMX bought the EWA, was referred to as the renegade shows, because we were rebelling against him or something. It's an unofficial underground title.
RH: Oh, interesting... I will look into that... you have a favorite Jobber?
Natas: Mr. Splooge and Ninjarette. Ninjarette and Psycohol are buddies, ya know?
RH: Yah I heard, that's definitely.... ummm, different... but Nat-man, Have you had any bad injuries over the years?
Natas: That's IT! punches Richard in the face
RH: Ooooooofff!!! Natty? Nat-Daddy... what's up? I'm just tryin’ to be cool, ya know, hang with the big boys… Natas claws at Richard's eyes
Natas: I'll rip your f***ing eyes out!
RH: Aaahhahahahaggghhhhhhh STOOOPPP!!!
Natas: Are you done asking questions, or what?
RH: Ok, a few more... I will try not to offend you anymore sir...
Natas: Just questions!
RH: Ok... questions...
Natas: No small talk from you!
RH: Just questions... so.... any big injuries...?
Natas: Bumps, bruises and I have bled several times, but no real injuries.
RH: What about Psycohol repeatedly kicking you in the face? That was definitely not cool
Natas: I bled. I already said that. Hey, I just got a good idea though!
Natas kicks Richard in the face, Rich now laying in a bloody puddle, totally not enjoying the interview anymore gets up, slides his chair across the room...
RH: Ok, lets finish this thing Natas...
Natas: What? I can't here you from over there! runs at head and spears him while he is sitting
RH: AAAGGGGHHHHH!!!
Natas: Okay. I'll stop now
RH: O........ k.... Head is really out of it now...
Natas: Anymore questions, or is it quick word time?
RH: Lets just skip to Name association ok?
Natas: Whatever you say.
RH: Ok, I say a name, you respond.... Drakon...
Natas: New Breed.
RH: Psycohol
Natas: Virgin 4-Life
RH: Haha, I can relate... I mean, how uncool……. damn, that doesn't rhyme... uhhh... Wolfman X
Natas: Bastard… Respect… A little from column A and a little from column B…
RH: Mr. Execution
Natas: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
RH: Nice reaction... can I laugh too? Ha ha ha ha ha ha…
Natas: No! Next name! slap
RH: Ninja
Natas: Train ride.
RH: Haha! Ground Zero
Natas: Standard setter.
RH: Kamilian
Natas: FAG!
RH: Jevon
Natas: Unrespectable
RH: I see... and one last one... I know we've just met, but... Richard Head? C'mon... don't be shy… tell me what you think of me… Natas walks over to Richard Head
Natas: Will you stand up and shake my hand? How about a manly hug?
RH: Well... alright man…
Head stands up and prepares for embrace, Natas pushes Head down hard
Natas: Stupid, scum sucking, d**k licking, @$$ eating piece of sh*t, son of a b*tch, f***ing @$$hole c**ksucker!!! walks away and sits back down
RH: Hey hey hey.... hey..... you don't know me… urgh… ok, to finish the interview... couple questions… Natas keeps smiling at Head Natas... what will be your Legacy? What mark will you leave behind?
Natas: General of the successful rebellion and first ever, with several more later, World Champion.
RH: Will we ever see Natas as World Champion again?
Natas: Yes.
RH: Will the WWF return ever?
Natas: Yes.
RH: Ok... one last question before I head out....
Natas: Yes?
RH: Was just wondering...
Natas: Yes?
RH: How exactly does it feel to ummm.... be the only major EWA Superstar...
Natas: Yes?
RH: …to have been pinned by Mr. Splooge? That must have been embar...
Natas runs at Head, punching and kicking him repeatedly. Delivers a Tornado DDT, a Knee-D-T, a Superkick and a Stunner before repeatedly slamming Head's head in the door and then leaving. For the first time, Richard Head has no closing comments…