RH: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! We are here today folks with the One, the Only... Ninja!!!
Ninja: One and only? There are two, dork!
RH: Wait, that's right, you aren't the one and only Ninja anymore... but if I'm not mistaken you are the original right?
Ninja: Yes....by 10 minutes, hahahahahha!
RH: Haha, really?! The second Ninja was around that far back?
Ninja: Ok not 10 minutes, but at the next show. My Brotha took on WMX to seek revenge for my loss....but he lost too… WMX was too strong for us...
RH: So the other Ninja is your brother right?
Ninja: I don't know...I say yes, he says no... so maybe we can fight and the winner can pick if we are bro’s or not.
RH: But why 2 Ninjas? Why didn't you 2 just come up with different gimmicks?
Ninja: Because we knew that people would try to find out our identities so we threw them pony wrenches to trick them! So while I was bigger he would come in smaller to pull the willies of the color commentators… (don’t know what he meant by that)
RH: Pony wrenches? Don't you mean monkey wrenches?
Ninja: Yah monkeys, not willies. Pull the monkeys!
RH: Oh... ok, I see...
Ninja: Yah, remember Shortcakes pulling mine and Splooge’s monkeys?
RH: No, she never pulled them, just looked and laughed…
Ninja: What!!!!!!!!!!!! She laughed?
RH: Yes, so was the purpose of you being two people all along to fool us, or are you just copycatting each other?
Ninja: Yes to fool basically.... make the unmasked stars jealous of our genius intellect…
RH: Them jealous? I seriously doubt that... but just a question I've been wanting to ask, have there been other Ninjas? More than two?
Ninja: Nope, just me and Ninjarette. That’s his new name
RH: Ok…
Ninja: what's your name?
RH: My name is... Richard Head…
Ninja: Oh, your name is like tete Richard hahahahahah! I know French!
RH: What?! What does that mean?
Ninja: It means Rich head...
RH: Oh ummm ok…..
Ninja: You know you have money, rich head…
RH: Uhhh, ok... I have not a clue what you are talking about Ninja.
Ninja: Like I have a rich Willie… P*$$Y! P*$$y! P*$$y!
RH: Shut up!
Ninja: What did I say that for?
RH: I don't know, now let's continue this interview...
Ninja: Ok....Richie Rich
RH: So something I'd also like to know... are you even a real ninja?
Ninja: Yes, I'm a white belt in karate…
RH: White belt, just under Mr. Splooge, interesting...
Ninja: Yah, Splooge took it longer....
RH: And your bro, Ninjarette had finally differentiated himself from you when he jumped to the WWF... what do you think? Are you proud?
Ninja: No!!!!
RH: No?
Ninja: I wanted to show the world that we were separate but he was embarrassed of me… I was sick of being in the closet with him… keeping our secret for soooooooooo long!
RH: Maybe he felt he was in your shadow.
Ninja: Shadow...nah, we were equal.
RH: Well, him jumping over there basically showed that you were separate?
Ninja: Yah...but without me...I missed him… so I brought in my cousin Suicide to keep me company...
RH: Yup.
Ninja: Are you going to ask me about me being gay?
RH: Umm, that wasn't in my notes..... do you want me to ask?
Ninja: Yes.
RH: I mean, I thought it was Ninjarette who was the gay one... ok... are you gay...?
Ninja: See in EWA1 I was making out with guys because I was young and did not know about fags and sh*t.... I thought people had sex with people…
RH: Oh...
Ninja: But then in EWA2 I grew up and realized that boys and girls make out…
RH: This is really... shocking to me...
Ninja: So that’s why I got married after EWA 4..
RH: Got married?! To who?
Ninja: Ninja girl. Ok I was drunk that day and pretended to be married… I like Shortcakes A LOT!!!
RH: I know, I think all you Jobbers like her…
Ninja: She's hot.... nice boobies!
RH: Haha!
Ninja: Nice hiney…
RH: So you never actually molested Mr. Splooge?
Ninja: Nope.
RH: So between you and the other Ninja, which one of you were on the camera more? When you shared the spotlight...
Ninja: Same I would think... until EWA 2000 he kinda left, and I was there more.
RH: Yah, now onto your career... are you proud of your win-loss record, or should I say combined win-loss record with your brother?
Ninja: No, we suck...and I will not lie...we are the worst ever!
RH: Haha, so at least you admit it unlike... say Splooge...
Ninja: Yah...we suck! We suck.
RH: Why do you suck so much? Is it intentional?
Ninja: No... I try and try but can not kick anyone…
RH: Maybe less dancing, more wrestling?
Ninja: Maybe....
RH: You seem somewhat better skilled than Splooge though... you connect with more moves...
Ninja: Yah, I know I'm the best!
RH: And you have been great friends with him over the years... describe that a little for us…
Ninja: We both like karate.... dancing... savate kicks... and falling down... so we became blood brothers.
RH: Nice, so you’ve shared blood?
Ninja: Yah, in handicapped matches vs. WMX…
RH: Any semen shared? Hahahaha, I am such a perverted joker I am!
Ninja: C*m? No silly, That WAS EWA1! With Gaybird… and Kamilian
RH: Oh, I didn't need to know that, just making a good ol’ wisecrack.
Ninja: Yesssssssss!!!!!!! C*m is yum, c*m is yum, c*m is yum, hahahahahah, big willies are for me and not you! Sorry, flashbacks…
RH: Hey, now you know that I don't condone your foul thoughts and language in my interview! So calm down and chill out Ninja... back to Splooge, do you have any favorite moments with him?
Ninja: Yes, stealing that car from WMX… and pissing on that dumb f-ing jacket!
RH: Speaking of that classic moment… why did you guys do that?
Ninja: WE HATE WMX! He is an @$$hole! @$$hole!!! Mean to us...beating us up… we wanted revenge!
RH: Ok, so anyways... you started way back in EWA1...
Ninja: Yes, Show 9.
RH: How did you come to arriving in the EWA? Were you doing anything before the EWA?
Ninja: Silly Bumpkin announced me...it was on tape Dick Rich… I mean Head Richard.
RH: Ok, he announced you, but who gave you the call?
Ninja: Well...WMX...he stole my gimmick in the very first show....I was gonna get him arrested but his Pops gave me the contract… instead, money money money…
RH: And as I asked before... what was before the EWA? School? Wandering?
Ninja: Before...karate school…
RH: I see, and you never made it past white belt... so how do you account for the fact that you have collected the most losses of anyone over your career? Of course with help from your brother...
Ninja: Cuz I get hurt too easily… I fall and can't get up
RH: So you act like a girl basically?
Ninja: Girl...I don't have boobies or a nice butt… I have a big Willie!
RH: A wide short one from what I hear… and I'm not gay or anything...
Ninja: 4 inches.
RH: I mean I just saw Shortcakes say it somewhere…
Ninja: Yah, she blew it I think… my 4 inch pop c**k, like a lollypop, hahahahhaahah!!!
RH: You are a dirty one! Splooge doesn't know half the stuff your saying I'm sure... and you'd held the US and IC Titles at one point or another I believe... how'd that feel?
Ninja: Good....I beat WMX for that US belt....stupid Creep! And Mr. Ex for the IC...
RH: Hehe… you ever think you'll win a World Title? Splooge did...
Ninja: I beat 2 World Champs… so yes I could win the World Title. Ok, I'm tired are we almost done Potato Head?
RH: Well not really, the more you fool around, the slower this is gonna go Ninja...
Ninja: I'm not fooling @$$hole! Buttface!
RH: Whoa whoa, calm down...
Ninja: Ok I'm sorry sir…
RH: Anyways, the New EWA, you returned... what did you think of the new guys?
Ninja: WMJ was cool.... the Disruptor was big, but needed more work… Fenix needed some move control… Manager BOB, scary… Suicide hurt my tongue… Splooge and I was funny..... Face just sucked as usual… Mr. Ex is awesome… The DOE....and The NEW BREED THE BEST EVER!
RH: Yah, Suicide, as you said earlier, he's your cousin...
Ninja: Yup, we cuzzes!
RH: When did the idea to bring him in come about?
Ninja: When Ninjarette left me…
RH: I see, that explains it…
Ninja: Yessir.
RH: Now another question we all wanna know the answer to,...
Ninja: Ok.
RH: Are you, your bro, and Suicide really all of Asian descent? Or just a bunch of whiteboy Ninjas like I suspect?
Ninja: I'm from Isle of Gook, so we gooks…
RH: Well if you were Asian, you obviously wouldn't be saying that about yourselves... so I take it your dumb whiteboys...
Ninja: (stereotypical racist remarks I won’t put in)
RH: see, how you just get into character when I bring it up... ahh well... anyways, losing to little girls, losing to non-living objects... that really can't help your career can it?
Ninja: Yah, they all hurt me…
RH: Haha, pathetic... I mean interesting...
Ninja: What!!!!!!!!!!
RH: Interesting, I said…
Ninja: Ok I see…
RH: Now Ninja... we all know Mr. Splooge is hilarious... and Ex is even more so.... but don't you like to think that you began this whole comedy routine in the backyard? Like riding out on all those various baby-mobiles every match?
Ninja: I did! I was the original funnyman! The original masked superstar!
RH: Yes you were…
Ninja: I Am THE ORIGINAL!
RH: You definitely have that claim to fame!
Ninja: Thank you sir.
RH: Not to mention you were the first recognized complete-Jobber in these parts... that obviously wasn't your intention though...
Ninja: Ok, stop being mean to me mofo!
RH: Ok, I wasn't sure if you would catch the drift... being stupid and all… I mean...
Ninja: I'm smart, I have a 69 IQ…
RH: I'm sure you do... now I ponder this... how did it feel to have Wolfman X and Psycohol piss all over your face?
Ninja: Tasted like piss…
RH: Is that salty? As Splooge described Natas' piss as being?
Ninja: Yes, like ‘tato chips…
RH: Oh... and as you said before.. you like Shortcakes... and several shows there were rumors abound about a relationship between you two... was that all a joke, or was there really something?
Ninja: She Dogged me... kiss me then dump me, to marry WMX that big bald @$$hole! That’s why I pissed on his jacket!
RH: So there was never a relationship?
Ninja: No....I wanted one.... I was sweet, took her to a movie, but that was it… she never wanted The Ninja… she only wanted that big Nazi @$$hole
RH: Well I'm sorry about that...
Ninja: It’s ok... I will find my woman…
RH: I'm sure you will… now a question people want to know more than anything else...
Ninja: Ok.
RH: Will we ever see you and your brother, aka Ninjarette on camera at the same time? Either it be as a Tag Team or facing off against each other?
Ninja: I want to… only time will tell.
RH: Ok... now lets do the quick question part of the interview... Ninja, what has been your biggest feud? Or worst enemy?
Ninja: WMX-that mean bastard
RH: How about your best friend? Splooge, your bro, Suicide?
Ninja: Splooge.
RH: Cool, how about a biggest match? Or maybe biggest upset?
Ninja: Biggest Match...Almost beating Kamilian the day Psyco broke his ankle falling over WMX… biggest upset.... beating Mr. Ex for IC.
RH: Oh yah... beating Mr. Ex, I would agree...
Ninja: Me too…
RH: Who do you fear most Ninja?
Ninja: Fear? WMX!
RH: How about a favorite wrestler beside yourself?
Ninja: Splooge.
RH: How about a favorite move to use?
Ninja: Savate kick.
RH: The move you rarely hit, hehe… what was your favorite EWA Revolution?
Ninja: 1st.
RH: Without Splooge?
Ninja: Oh… yah.
RH: Who was your favorite guy to lose to?
Ninja: Splooge… he not hurt me.
RH: Oh ok... now for name association, Ninja... give me a reaction to the name of a wrestler I say...
Ninja: Okie dokie.
RH: Ninjarette
Ninja: My brotha I think…
RH: Suicide
Ninja: Fat ass cousin of mine…
RH: Ok I see we have Master of the Obvious here tonight with me... hahahahaha! How about Mr. Execution...
Ninja: Funny… Ex is jobber turned to champ hahahahah!
RH: Wolfman X
Ninja: Ok, lemme tell you about him... he is a no good Nazi loving bald... mean @$$hole...he beats me up for no reason... he pretends to be me to beat people up... like Jevon, Natas, and Splooge. He likes hair, leather and a bat...he wears hats and bandanas to disguise his bald head...that @$$-eating idiot!
RH: Oh man, that was harsh, coming from you Ninja! So he really is a Nazi like they say?
Ninja: No, he is too young...but his relatives were... and he is proud of that stupid shit.... he picks on Jews... and likes to harass college girls with his talk about (racist comment about Jews, can’t print it)…
RH: Really, I didn't know this... that's just terrible!
Ninja: But I think he only does it to make his @$$hole friends laugh.
RH: If I talk with him again, I'll be sure to confront him about this topic....
Ninja: He is bad...a coward… ok next person…
RH: Yes, onto more names.... Natas.
Ninja: He is awesome...he helped me beat WMX by punching me in the face…
RH: Cool... Psycohol?
Ninja: He is a lot like me....a virgin with a 4 inch pop c**k… he only sticks it in asses
RH: Now don't make accusations you can't back Ninja... but he is a friend of WMX... so I see why you don't like him, not to mention the numerous times he's wiped the floor with you...
Ninja: Ok dude, don't make me piss on you!
RH: Ok ok, I'll stop. How about Shortcakes?
Ninja: Lovely girl that I'd like to F***
RH: Damn. Drakon…
Ninja: Natas' Shadow…
RH: And finally.... Mr. Splooge.
Ninja: My best friend...we fight and make up...dance and play with toys…
RH: Hahahahaha! That is completely hilarious!
Ninja: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!
RH: Just like a pair of toddlers! Hahahahahaha!
Ninja: I like Barbie and Ken....My Little Pony.....She-Ra…
RH: Well good for you, a lot of girl toys I see....
Ninja: Yah, that way I will learn about v*g*n@$! You even notice how big Barbie's t*ts are?
RH: Ummm, nope... haven't looked… you and your dirty mouth...
Ninja: Yah Psycohol is like us too… playing with Godzilla toys! DO you play with toys?
RH: Well, I play with toys yes... but not those kind... I usually go to Adult Shops and... ummmm nevermind....
Ninja: Oh for butt plugs… Hahahhahahaha!!!
RH: Well butt plugs, yes... and ummm.. wait! I didn't say that!
Ninja: Ok buddy I'm going to bed....I have a big Willie! I need to release the Ninja spew…
RH: Ok ummm… let’s wrap it up then here... what’s next on your list Ninja, more Jobbing in the Wrestling world? Any other plans? Work at a Chinese Restaurant to learn how to act Asian?
Ninja: Navy RUE? Navy blue… Blue? Blue who?
RH: So any plans? Will we see you in the yard again?
Ninja: Yah, I might fall in… or fall down some more…
RH: Ok, well Ninja... it was, somewhat nice talking to you... but you've got to clean up your mouth before we talk again... what you say disgusts me, literally!
Ninja: How deep is that well? Hahahahahah!!!
RH: What well?
Ninja: You said “well Ninja.....”
RH: Ugh... well lets get out of here...
Ninja: And I said “How deep is your well” you dummy...you f-ing dummy...you dumb f-ing dummy
RH: Oh shut up, I am sick of your shenanigans!
Ninja: BYE DICK HEAD, dick head, dick head, dick head! Hahahahahahaa! The Ninja has left the Building!
RH: Seeya later Ninja... folks, hopefully a normal interview will happen one of these days.... Until then, goodbye...