RH: Richard Head here folks with an Interview with the one and only Psicon... you're not gonna hit me again are you?
Psicon: We'll see Dick.
RH: Alright alright... so Psicon... your last match I believe was where you defeated Psycometer for the Psycho Xtreme Belt... and that was about 3 years ago... why have you not wrestled since?
Psicon: I've been on hiatus, I've been training hard and getting into the wrestlin� mentality
RH: But for 3 years? What have you been doing the whole time? You can't have had to train that long...
Psicon: Well, I have a strict workout, 8 days a week to be exact.
RH: Wow, amazing...
Psicon: And I've been working on my moves� learning from the best.
RH: And who is the best?
Psicon: I'm the best, Candycane! Duh Jack@$$�
RH: Whoa, I see... well did you do anything else in your time off besides train?
Psicon: I've been taking time off too when not training� I took a vacation to the tundra, getting back to my "roots" of being from the cold
RH: Oh I see� interesting. Any college?
Psicon: College? Stop making up words!
RH: Sorry Psicon my man... And rumor has it your set to return upon PXW's return?
Psicon: I�m set to kick some @$$ and take some names if that�s what you mean� this is a new Psicon, a complete 180 from before!
RH: And if what I hear is correct, it's going to be a much darker side of Psicon...
Psicon: Yeah� darker like I was "beat by my Grandma when I was young" dark!
RH: Oh man, that is dark! Should make for some interesting television...
Psicon: Yeah. Interesting is an understatement�
RH: So all the guys out there better watch out right?
Psicon: Yeah, 'specially you.....Dick.
RH: Hey! Now speaking of wrestling, how exactly did you start your career? Why did you decide on wrestling and not say... shoe box racing?
Psicon: Hey, keep my former life of shoe box racing outta this Dick, I didn�t mean to put that kid into the wall at 14mph! Well anyway, when Grandma..... I mean I used to fight with my 18 brothers, I had an uncanny ability to kick their @$$es, even though my oldest brother is 37 years older than me.
RH: We sure are delving deep into some issues that none of us reading ever knew existed... sounds like a rough childhood huh?
Psicon: Yeah� rough like 30 grit sandpaper� but anyways, let me finish Dick�
RH: Ok.
Psicon: So I beat up my bro's a lot.... and one day while feeding the family alpacas, I got kicked in the head... and from that point on a voice inside my head has told me to "kick @$$ and take names, Psicon, you are their icon." That�s why my new intro song is "Voices."
RH: Damn, you must have the most insane and zany background of any person I have ever met!
Psicon: Yeah� if I said I used to be black, would you believe me?
RH: Ummm... nope.
Psicon: Good, cuz if you did I would kick yo @$$!
RH: You're whiter than a polar bear in Antarctica!
Psicon: Yeah, I have to admit that�s pretty white�
RH: Oh... whew, glad I was slick with my words� so who brought you into the PXW?
Psicon: Well, I was inspired by a man I saw once wrestle�
RH: Yes?
Psicon: He was awesome� he could do a frog slash off your face b*tch
RH: Hey, no need for vulgar language here Psicon... I thought you'd be more civilized than those EWA guys.
Psicon: Whatever�
RH: Aww shucks!
Psicon: I�m gonna pretend like I didn�t hear that.
RH: Yes pretend... so who was this inspiration?
Psicon: Anyways Dick� so this man, who I have met only once inspired me�
RH: Yes...
Psicon: I was 16�
RH: And remember... I never said that �Shucks� thing...
Psicon: Ok� whatever, anyways I was 16� and I was working at garage fixing late model Yugo's�
RH: T-t-t-t-t-t-today Junior!
knife edge chops RH
RH: Owww! Ok I'll stop...
Psicon: One more time and this interview is over fruit-loop!
RH: Ok I'll be quiet from here on Psic!
Psicon: So I was setting a valve guide to proper dimensions, and this man drove in with a beaut of a Yugo... he was a large man� must have been 7 foot tall� maybe 375 pounds� pure muscle!
RH: I don't remember any 7 footers in the PXW�
Psicon: Did I say he was in the PXW?
RH: Oh, ummm no...
Psicon: That�s right!!!
RH: Ok, sorry sir.
bitch slaps head
RH: Aagghhhhhhh!
Psicon: One more time and you're gonna be seeing the new finishing move� Head backs his chair up a few feet...
Psicon: Anyways, as I was saying� he was mammoth, and I knew he wasn�t here to show me his mint Yugo� he walked up to me, and told me to come to a local wrestling show later that night, he said he had seen me kick my Gran.....I mean my brothers @$$es� and he wanted me to get a taste of the wrestling scene�
RH: Excuse me sir... but can you explain to me what a Yugo is?
Psicon: It�s a car� Psycohol 666: Oh, duh, I'm a moron... ok back to the wrestling...
Psicon: Yeah...moron� as I was saying....
Head blushes
Psicon: So I went to the show, which was being held behind the local Dunkin Donuts� there was a ring set up, and some bleachers, so I sat down, but this man motioned me towards where everyone got ready for the matches�
RH: Yes...
Psicon: So I cautiously approached him� he told me to put on a uniform, and that I was gonna try wrestling... I was like, "No way man, I will get killed!" But he had faith, and somewhere deep inside me I did too�
RH: That's good...
Psicon: So I put on the green striped pants, winter hat and flashy shirt� the one I used to wear in the PXW�
RH: Ahhh yes, I remember�
Psicon: He said, you will be wrestling someone who hasn�t been beat before� I was like, "Oh great, I�m gonna die." So I waited backstage for my name to be called, and then it was time�
RH: Was it Psicon, or some other Alias?
Psicon: I wasn�t Psicon yet. I can remember so well when they played Cindy Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" for my music. So I went to the ring, and there he was.... it was the man that told me to wrestle in the first place! As I stepped in the ring, he told me his time was up in the great sport, and that he wanted someone with a gift to take his place�
RH: Whoa, who was it?
Psicon: Hang on boner, I'm getting there� He told me to wrestle my heart out� I told him I knew no moves, and that I would look riccoculous in the ring! He told me if I was to be the one who replaced him, the moves would come naturally to me, and so they did.....and so they did...... the bell rang, and I shot out of the corner� I was throwing shots left and right, headlocks, DDT's like a pro. I don't know how I was doing it, but I was!
RH: Hey, that's nice, but I gotta lot of interview to go man... why such a long story Psicon?
Psicon: I'm wrapping it up Dick!
RH: Ooops, was that offensive?
Psicon: So long story short, cuz you got your panties in a bundle, I kicked his @$$, took his name, and searched out a wrestling organization, and I found the PXW, and that's where my story ends.... kind of�
RH: I see... and as we know, that's not where it ends... your first match in the PXW... against Lumberjack... do you remember it?
Psicon: Yeah, vividly.
RH: Especially the after-match right?
Psicon: Right.
RH: One word says it all.... Powerbomb... the Vertical Powerbomb that made and broke your career...
Psicon: Yeah, that's such a painful moment in my life. Well, it put me out for a while, but I'm back now damn it!
RH: It made number one on PXW's Top 25 Moments list... are you happy about that?
Psicon: I'm damn proud of it! I think I might have made the man who brought me into wrestling proud�
RH: Who is this man?! Tell me!
Psicon: Maybe later, just keeping asking other questions Dick�
RH: Alright... but anyways... that injury was no doubt career threatening, and possibly life-threatening... what was going through your mind when you came to?
Psicon: Nothing at all, I was blank for like 3 days.
RH: Damn... were you paralyzed at all from the neck to ground impact?
Psicon: No, but I heard every one of my vertebrae pop� pop like a pimple on a teenagers forehead. "POP!" Like that.
RH: That's amazing... since you did return eventually... do you think the Powerbomb made an impact on your career as a whole?
Psicon: Yeah, it made me stronger, made me wanna kick more @$$......and that�s right, take more names�
RH: Oh yah! Now onto the Cool Pac... how did your membership into that come about?
Psicon: I guess I was asked, and I said yes. I needed to make friends in the business.
RH: That's true... and you have been Cool Pac since your arrival into the PXW... others have been kicked out, but you have always remained... why do you think this is?
Psicon: Cuz I am the backbone of the Cool Pac, no doubts about it! I was dropped on my head, people betrayed me by leaving, and I stuck with it�
RH: Really? I would have thought either Psykadelik or Psycohol to be the backbone...
Psicon: Sometimes the backbone isn't the one who is there the longest, I made a huge impact, and without me some of the greatest moments would have never happened, not that they aren't great team members though, they my bro's, you feel me?
RH: Yes... your bro's... but you do seem quite brash and arrogant... to me...
Psicon: Like I said, I've changed.
RH: Ok, but what I meant... is that you seem more arrogant now than before from my viewpoint... no offense sir...
Psicon: No offense taken, it must be the pain meds, they make me loopy sometimes� what I want to say is that now that I'm going to make a comeback, the Cool Pac is gonna be stronger than ever! Backbone or none, we will be takin' names......and at the same time kickin� @$$es!
RH: Cool... has the Cool Pac helped your career as a whole?
Psicon: Yes, they have! I got their backs, they got mine.
RH: But as a whole in the PXW, you have not had very many matches�
Psicon: It doesn�t take a lot to make a point, and when I come back the real me will be shown!
RH: Your last match as I mentioned before, was vs. Psycometer where you won the Psycho Xtreme Title... how did it feel to be the first Champ of that class?
Psicon: It felt great, breaking new ground for the PXW and proving my ability� that was only a fraction of my talent though.
RH: But the fact still remains, that was your last match... you never did get to defend that Title... do you regret never defending it?
Psicon: Yes and no, I wanted to show the people more of me, but I had a BROKEN FRICKEN NECK!!!
rings RH's neck
RH: Aaaaaggggghhh stoooooppppp!!!!!
Psicon: How's that feel huh? Like it?
RH: Noooo!!!
Psicon: Want more?
RH: No thank you!
Psicon: You're welcome.
RH: Oh man, I see what you mean...
Psicon: Ok.
RH: So you're telling me that you wrestled your last few matches, and won that title all with a broken neck?
Psicon: Your damn skippy!
RH: Now folks, that's Hardcore�
Psicon: Hardcore, exactly� that�s why my new style is hardcore matches!
RH: Musta been your upbringing...
Psicon: Yeah.....my upbringing.
RH: So your neck is completely healed now though right?
Psicon: Yes! 100%, no, 110%!
RH: Good... and are you aware that Lumberjack is the current Psycho Xtreme Champion?
Psicon: Yes.
RH: You gonna go after it?
Psicon: I'm gonna go after it like a pack of dogs goes after a three legged cat!
RH: Sh*t man... whoa, excuse my language there folks... that's pretty hungry though, I'd say!
Psicon: Yeah� I have a taste for p*$$y.
RH: Hahaha! I did not know that...
Psicon licking his lips
Psicon: Yeah, I like women too�
RH: so... you never returned after that, wrestling... but... you were at some shows reffing, and throwing commentary as you ran the camera...
Psicon: Yes.
RH: Any reason you did not wrestle at those shows?
Psicon: I had not yet perfected my style� I am not one to shoot my load before I want to if you know what I mean�
RH: Haha, I know what you mean...
Psicon: I bet you don�t f@g!
RH: Hey! Who told you to call me that?! Was it Natas? He would! He just wants me so bad, he told me last night on the phone!
Psicon: Your life partner, Natas, George, whatever his name is�
RH: Hey, I didn't say he was my life partner...
Psicon: Dude, stop with the Peter Poker sh*t and get back to the interview!
RH: I'm not... gay... heh... heh... ok, back to the interview, wheeeewww.... woooooo...
Psicon: Yeah, pheeeeeeeewwww�
RH: Ok... anyways superb job on the commentary though I would say... some of the best...
Psicon: Yeah, I enjoy it.
RH: Anyways, back to the Cool Pac...
Psicon: Yes.
RH: Just recently, you helped Psycohol rejoin by kicking Psykadelik's arse out...
Psicon: Yes.
RH: You were supposed to be the ref, and then you did that... why? Was it planned all along?
Psicon: Maybe�
RH: You and Psycohol... dastardly folks you are...
Psicon: Damn right!
RH: So Psykadelik is now out?
Psicon: Depends if he wants to work his way back in�
RH: I don't think he wants anything to do with you... have you seen his Interview yet? Where he claims that you are number one on his hit list?
Psicon: Yeah� I saw it.
RH: And what have you got to say to it? Do you accept his challenge?
Psicon: Yeah, I do, but I want to do it face to face, with him� I say he hasn�t seen the new me� and he will be in for a surprise.
RH: I'm sure we all will be�
Psicon: I want him to personally ask me to get his @$$ kicked! And I already know his name� I think it's........P*$$Y
RH: Oh, he's gonna read that one! You sound quite confident!
Psicon: Well, confidence is a strong trait of mine.
RH: Confidence is good... by what I hear, it may only be weeks away until the next PXW Show... that would be great to see...
Psicon: Yeah.
RH: So let me touch on one more moment before I hit the quick questions...
Psicon: Ok.
RH: My interview with you on live camera 3 shows back... ya know, where you sneak attacked me and unfairly beat me up... how could you do something so sinisterly low you damn scoundrel?
Psicon: WHAT!?
RH: You heard me! I could still take you!
Psicon: Did you just say what I think you said?!
RH: Umm yes, but please calm down sir... no need for violence right here right now....
Psicon: It's on now F***ER!!!
RH: Hey...
kicks RH
RH: Owww!!!!
Psicon tosses Head through a chair, picks chair up and hits RH with it many times� kicks RH while he�s down� picks up RH and thinks about doing his new move, but doesn�t do it, and drops him on the ground� Head is barely conscious
Psicon: Want some more, pal?
Head looks up dazed...
RH: No..... sir....
Psicon: That�s what I thought, now back to the questions�
RH: Ok...
Head tries to regain himself, and plops himself onto a chair...
RH: Sir, that was quite uncalled for...
Psicon: Yeah, so was your outburst�
RH: Now what I was going to ask you... before you went ape-sh*t on me... was if you would accept a fair match against myself at the next card?
Psicon: Hell ya!
RH: Richard Head vs. Psicon straight up.
Psicon: I would love to kick your @$$!
RH: I think not my friend , I am so going to beat you!
Psicon: Suuuuuure�� hey, everyone can dream right?
RH: Yes that's very true... wait, hey... are you mocking me?
Psicon: Ummmm, yes.
RH: Oh you'll see! But anyways... onto the quick questions... first, what would you say your best PXW match has been thus far Psicon?
Psicon: I would have to say the match when I was Powerbombed!
RH: You mean the match before it with Lumberjack? Because that part wasn't really a match...
Psicon: No, I realize I was only in that match as backup help, but I showed some true colors then.
RH: No, actually you were in the main match... that was just the post match� is your brain out of whack Psicon?
Psicon: Whatever� it�s been a long time Head� I can�t really say I have had a best match so far in the PXW� but you will see one soon, I promise!
RH: I see... so who would you say your worst enemy throughout your career has been?
Psicon: That�s a toughy� but I would have to say Psycometer
RH: That's what I thought�
Psicon: Psycometer was a tough match.
RH: Yes true. You each had a win over each other�
Psicon: Yes.
RH: And Psykadelik now has a bone to pick with you� but anyways, how about a best friend throughout your career?
Psicon: Ummm.... I would have to say.... Myself�. and that guy that taught me wrestling.
RH: Ahhh, no true longtime PXW friends I see...
Psicon: I wasn�t around long enough� but those who show me respect, will get the same in return, remember that!
RH: Ok, but besides yourself, who is your favorite PXW Wrestler? The guy you always root for?
Psicon: I would have to say Lumberjack, he�s a good guy� if I had to take a Tag Team partner, it would be him FO SHIZZLE!!!
RH: But... he was an enemy of the Cool Pac�
Psicon: So, you're my enemy but I�m takin� this interview.
RH: Yah but that's diff... oh nevermind... you are surprising me here Psic...
Psicon: Put it this way... at this point in the game, I have no serious enemies or friends, I have been out of the league too long.
RH: Ok, so what's your favorite move or moves to use?
Psicon: Well as far as moves go, I have some new ones and some oldies� I wont reveal the new ones yet
RH: Oh c'mon... just one? Tell me...
Psicon: Well, let me think..... it�s a submission move....
RH: Oh now we're playing the guessing game? That's quite a wide category...
Psicon: That's all I can say� you will have to wait to see it�
RH: Ok I'll wait then...
Psicon: Good, cuz if you didn�t I would have to kick yo� @$$....again!
RH: Ahhh� so did you have an inspiration from the wrestling biz growing up?
Psicon: Yes. When I was young I watched my mom wrestle my dad cuz of some divorce papers or something like that� I haven�t seen mommy in a long time�
RH: So no TV influences?
Psicon: What�s a TV?
RH: WHAT?! You don't know what a TV is?!
Psicon: No. What is this TV you speak of? Is that a disease?
RH: Haven't you even watched your own matches on a box that shows images?
Psicon: The only box I pay attention to is pink and spits sometimes� well� I guess I have been on it before if you know what I mean. winks
RH: Hmmm... I don't know what in the world you are talking about... never heard of that kind of box....
Psicon: I figured�
RH: What's that supposed to mean?!
Psicon: Nothing.....coughs..homo...coughs
RH: Ooook... so let�s do name association now...
Psicon: Ooooook�
RH: I say a name, you make a quick response...
Psicon: K, shoot�
RH: First... Psykadelik
Psicon: Ballhair.
RH: Haha... Psycohol
Psicon: Dedicated.
RH: Lumberjack
Psicon: Woody.
RH: Oh really? Do you have his number? I just remembered... I needed to get in touch with him...
Psicon: 'scuse me?
RH: Urgent business...
Psicon: I don�t know it, sorry�
RH: Oh damn... ok anyways... Psycometer
Psicon: FAFARAAA!
RH: Haha, so true. How about PsychoRuff... another Cool Paccer I forgot to mention�
Psicon: Chocolate cream pie.
RH: Ha... do you know if he's still Pac, or is he going with Delik?
Psicon: He�s Pac fo� life, Cracker!
RH: Cool... Mr. Execution
Psicon: Weirded out�
RH: I'll agree... The Janitor
Psicon: Stinky.
RH: Yes he is... Mr. Splooge...
Psicon: Wow!
RH: Yah, he is out there... and one more name... tell me the truth here... Richard Head
A slight pause�
Psicon: You notice this is taking me a while� it�s because words can�t describe a person like you
RH: Yes...
Psicon: I draw a blank when I hear that name.
RH: I see...
Psicon: Sorry.
RH: It's that tough, oh well...
Psicon: Yeah, it is� and the meds are taking a toll too�
RH: Well maybe after our match, you can find some words. When I beat your silly... I mean, nevermind....
Psicon: Yeah� and maybe you can find some teeth!
RH: So one last question... before I let you go�
Psicon: Ok.
RH: I hear you are engaged to be married? Is this true Psicon?
Psicon: I am engaged to be engaged.
RH: Really, who is this lucky girl?
Psicon: Mrs. future Psicon. Her identity will be kept secret.
RH: Ahh, well don't you think she'd rather be with a real man like Richard Head? Mrs. Head would be much better for her...
Psicon: If anyone messes with her, death shall come quickly!!!
RH: Hey I'm just telling the truth...
knocks RH on the ground�
RH: Ouch, whaddya do that for?!
Psicon kicks him many times
RH: Oww owww!!!!!
picks up RH and knocks him silly� on the edge of consciousness
Psicon: It's too bad you aren�t awake enough to see my new finishing move Head� But I'm gonna do it anyways....
Gets RH in a Rack type hold, racks him for a few seconds and drops him off behind him
Psicon: I call that the Rack Attack!
Head lies there motionless...
Psicon: Nice talking to ya.....seeya in the ring..... WHERE I'LL BE KICKIN� @$$.....AND TAKIN� NAMES PAL!!!
Psicon exits the room, leaving Head in a pool of his own blood