RH: Well folks, we've been waiting to meet with this guy for a long time, let me welcome Ninjarette to the studio... now this may be somewhat similar to the other Ninja’s interview, but…
Ninjarette: Hey, did you notice, since Natas slapped you around, everyone after him did it too? Everyone wants to be like Natas!
RH: I know... I know, don't remind me...
Ninjarette: singing Everyone wants to be like Natas! Everyone wants to be like Natas!
RH: Why the Natas support?
Ninjarette: Ummmmm... singing Everyone ELSE wants to be like Natas!
RH: Hmmmm, interesting.... I thought you were Psycohol's friend...
Ninjarette: Wait! Natas and Psycohol are Friends!
RH: Oh, ok... I see you've noticed that... now anyways, onto the Interview... why all these years, have there been 2 Ninjas, Ninjarette? Why the secret?
Ninjarette: What? Two Ninjas? Really? Hmmm, I had no idea.
RH: Oh, well... your BROTHER said you were the one trying to hold the secret... and it still seems you are trying to....
Ninjarette: I don't have a brother! I only have one sister. And you know her.....
RH: So you have no brother?
Ninjarette: I only have one sister. And you know her.....
RH: Who is she?
Ninjarette: Mr. Splooge!
RH: Hahahaha! Mr. Splooge is not your sister! Do not lie to me!
Ninjarette: You're right. I was joking. But, you do know my REAL sister......
RH: Who's that? I'm drawing blanks
Ninjarette: Ms. Sploo.... Uh, I mean Mrs. Ninja!
RH: Wait wait wait.... so the woman... err, pumpkin you had a child with was your.... sister?
Ninjarette: starts crying Ninja Jr........
RH: Wow... that's *cough*incest*cough*
Ninjarette: Don't go there, Head! It's not funny! slaps Richard Head OWWWWWW!
RH: You hurt yourself slapping me... you don't try that, even I'm not afraid of you, Frog-legs!
Ninjarette: That's it! Attempts a savate kick and flies out the window AHHHHH!
RH: Give me a couple minutes to wait for him folks... now this interview is already going in a much different direction than anticipated folks... a knock on the door Yes... come in...
Ninjarette: opens door Hi, Mr. Head. I'm here for my interview.
RH: Oh... good, maybe we can get to my outline this time... hello Ninjarette.... how's it going today?
Ninjarette: I'm good sir. How are you?
RH: Not bad, not bad... now I was wondering... why the change from Ninja to Ninjarette?
Ninjarette: Because I am madly in love with Psycohol. Like my shorts? They are on fire....ohhhhh....
RH: Yes they are, and uhhh... that sounds fantastic, but was the real reason that you wanted to differentiate yourself from your brother?
Ninjarette: I don't have a brother! He was....ummm....just a friend, okay? I admit it, there are two, but, he's still not my brother!
RH: Oh sorry, so you know of the guy... but he is not your brother... I see... just as he said you would say... so you find Psycohol to be attractive?
Ninjarette: No.
RH: Ok...
Ninjarette: I just wish I was him. He is the coolest guy ever.
RH: I see... he is pretty cool…
Ninjarette: You are kind of cute though…
RH: Oh really? Well not many have complimented me like that...
Ninjarette: Yeah winks at Richard
RH: Oh wait hey, let's get back to the questions... winks back
Ninjarette: pops wood Look at my shorts now!
RH: Looks Uh... whoa! Whooooaaa!!!! Now Ninjarette, your career... the win-loss record, quite unimpressive... what have you got to say about that...
Ninjarette: What about it? Wolfman-X, Natas and Psycohol all have losses. So what? I've had a few losses. No one is wrestling history has ever been undefeated.
RH: Well I'd say it's more than a few losses... but hey, you seem happy…
Ninjarette: I am happy. I work in the World Famous WWF and my hero is the World Champion and my gay love...ummmm, the World Champion is one of my best friends.
RH: Wait... Psycohol is your gay love, are you implying? Maybe I should give him a call and ask him about that...
Ninjarette: Well, since I slipped up, I guess I'll let it out.... Psycohol is my gay lover. Think about it.... The WWF World Champion can't get laid by a woman.... There has to be more to it. He should be able to flash that belt and have girls cling to him. Well he likes to flash it at the docks for the sailors.
RH: Well I've been at the docks chatting with the sailors... never saw Psyco there waving nothing... I mean... I wasn't.... there.... Well that certainly is something to think about... I'll question him about it later... so you started in EWA1? Did you and the other Ninja just happen to come in with the same gimmick and costume or was it a plan?
Ninjarette: Okay. Good. Well, us Ninjas were going to do a Killer Bee type thing. Do you remember the Killer Bees? No one could tell them apart when they put masks on and they would switch places in matches and stuff. We did that and EVERYBODY was fooled! Until my idiot brother told about it.
RH: So he is your brother?! And he says you are the one that spilled the beans...
Ninjarette: What? No no no. That's not what happened at all.
RH: Oh ok...
Ninjarette: See, this chicken wants to cross the road, right? And when he does, he gets out to the yellow lines and all of a sudden....
RH: This has absolutely nothing to do with what we were talking about... stop dilly dallying!
Ninjarette: Hey, don't interrupt me, you v**ina!
RH: What?! You can't call me that!
Ninjarette: I have to say v**ina because my mommy washes my mouth out with soap if I say the "p" word.
RH: She wouldn't like Wolfman X then... and the ‘V’ word… I hate that word!
Ninjarette: SO, you hate V**inas?
RH: Yah... wait no... I mean, I don't know... I think that I meant the word itself... yah, that's it… Hey! I'm the one doing the Interview here!!! NOT YOU!!! I ask the questions!!!
Ninjarette: Hey, check this out!
Ninjarette stands up and moons Richard… Rich doesn't make a flinch, and yells at Ninjarette's butt...
RH: Now stop that!
Ninjarette: Sorry, Rich. I'll be good.
Ninjarette turns around WITHOUT pulling up his pants… still not a flinch from Head…
RH: Now Ninjarette, pull up those pants, stop being a bad boy…
Ninjarette: I don't know how to pull up my pants. My mom does it for me. Can you help me?
RH: Ok ok... Head stands up, leans down, grabbing Ninjarette's pants, and pulls them up for him...
Ninjarette: Thank You. sits down
RH: No problem... now let's hit some topics I want to touch on. Folks... I tell ya.... this may not be the most painful interview for me… but I can't even get this guy to get on my outline of questions for a minute... Mr. Splooge... we know he's your foe now, but he has been quite a friend in the past right?
Ninjarette: Yeah. I felt more pain losing Mr. Splooge then I did losing Mrs. Ninja and Ninja Jr.
RH: Wow, really... I could see the pain in your eyes and crying, I just interpreted it differently... would you like to think you or the other Ninja had better moments with the guy?
Ninjarette: I had muuuuch better times. They just weren't on camera....
RH: Oh yes... we have heard about those... and to me it sounds like Splooge did not truly enjoy those times....
Ninjarette: He did too. He just wants to act tough now because he's... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil.
RH: So you were the dominant male in the situation right?
Ninjarette: Dominant male? What are you talking about?
RH: Oh, uh... I read about that somewhere on the internet...
Ninjarette: All I did was put my pee-pee in his butt.
RH: But still, that is quite not right.... he seems quite horrified of the things you have done to him... have you ever thought of picking on someone else?
Ninjarette: I told you, I'm taken!
RH: What? I wasn't asking... hahaha, you thought I was asking... no... nooo....
Ninjarette: No! You asked if I thought of picking on someone else. Since I am taken, obviously I have. You are stupider than I am!
RH: Oh yah, well about that... let's just get back to wrestling... that's what this is supposed to be about right?
Ninjarette: Yeah, okay.
RH: First off I'd like to know why y.... what is that wretched smell?!
Ninjarette: Oh, I had to go poopy, but I didn't want to interrupt you.
RH: Oh.... interesting... you could have asked for a bathroom break, I wouldn't have stopped you...
Ninjarette: But wasn't that nice of me?
RH: Yes nice... would you like time to go clean up?
Ninjarette: No, I'm okay. It's warm. I like it.
RH: Ok... whew.... so Ninjarette, why exactly were you missing mostly for EWA2000 and EWA4 as we hear it?
Ninjarette: I got in a fight with the other Ninja, so I took some time off…
Ninjarette puts hand in pants, pulls out some poop and starts to munch on it
RH: Oh now that is too much!
Head runs to the other room, puking is heard! Minutes later he returns, Ninjarette is done with his poop... Head collects himself...
Ninjarette: What's wrong? I missed lunch.
RH: Now that was disgusting! Why in the Hell would you do something like that?! This interview is going to make me look terrible!
Ninjarette: I thought everybody ate poop. Mr. Splooge said so. Everyone eats their poop in the privacy of their own home.
RH: Well I don't know about that... but this is not the privacy of your own home... so you returned after EWA4.... why was that?
Ninjarette: Well, a new league started, so since the other Ninja didn't want me around anymore, I entered a new turf to dominate! I started the XWA/WWF all by myself! It was all my idea!
RH: Oh it was... I thought it was mostly a Natas idea? So it was you, the brains behind the operation? Natas 2 7 98: See, that is a popular misunderstanding. Everyone thought that it was started by Natas in an anti-Wolfman-X move. Actually, It was started by me as an anti-Ninja move.
Ninjarette: Then, Natas beat me up and took it.
RH: Ahhh interesting...
Ninjarette: Yeah. Drakon will confirm it, if you ask him
RH: But before this WWF came along, in the final days of the EWA, there was a sort of a re-living of a classic... Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior... right on an EWA Show... and you played Hogan of course... how did that feel?
Ninjarette: What are you talking about? That WAS Hulk Hogan playing Ninjarette! He did it once before and fought Face in the EWA. Hulk Hogan always tried to hang out with us. But, we told him he was washed up, so he ran to the WWE to become a washed up champion.
RH: Oh...... ok. So your saying the Warrior was playing Splooge too?
Ninjarette: No, the Splooge wanna-be was actually The Renegade. Since he was a Warrior rip-off, we just told him to be the Warrior.
RH: Renegade, I thought he died... he's on Psyco's Tribute Page... but speaking of great champions like the Hulkster and Warrior... you have been a several-time Loserweight Champ, how's that feel?
Ninjarette: It always feels great to be a champion!
RH: Well that's good... you know it is a belt for Losers right?
Ninjarette: It always feels great to be a champion. Can I tell you a secret?
RH: Sure... Natas 2 7 98: I usually lose on purpose, so I can get the belt.
RH: Oh wow, I wonder if Splooge knows that... ok... so back to the WWF... did you ever think you would reach a Fed as highly regarded such as that?
Ninjarette: Of course I knew I'd make it to the WWF. I have held several titles in my career.
RH: But you did outfox Skullface for that belt once...
Ninjarette: Yeah. Russians are soooo stupid!
RH: Haha! So will we see a Loserweight Belt in the WWF anytime soon?
Ninjarette: Ummm, isn't there one?
RH: Nope.
Ninjarette: Really? I'll have to petition that immediately!
RH: You will...
Ninjarette: And when the WWF returns, I'll have a brand new gimmick!
RH: Really...
Ninjarette: Yeah. I’m so excited! I can't give you details, of course, but, I will tell you my name.....
RH: I’m excited now too... a new name?
Ninjarette: Yeah!
RH: Well what is it?
Ninjarette: Bond. James Bond.
RH: Oh... hasn't that... character already been played out quite a bit somewhere before?
Ninjarette: What character?
RH: Nevermind... ahhh... so about the Smokes n’ Roadbeers combination... is it still on?
Ninjarette: Smokes n Roadbeers is still around, in a way. That is what Psycohol and I have after sex!
RH: Well personally, I don't believe he would ever have sex with you, or even a man at that... I think he's just celibant... but are you saying Smokes n Roadbeers is over, at least in the yard?
Ninjarette: Well, Psycohol got mad at me and joined Natas.... I'll bring him back though, you wait and see. You can't trust Natas.... unless you are Drakon, that is. Ha Ha, I'm insightful!
RH: Oh, ok, I wasn't sure on the S&R situation, but thanks for clearing it up... and we'll see about that Drakon trusting Natas thing...
Ninjarette: Oh, like The New Breed hasn't broke up before... they'll be back. They are THE group for the EWA/XWA/WWF.
RH: A fan I see...
Ninjarette: Remember my beer cooler? New Breed Rulz!
RH: Oh yah... so what do you think about the other Ninja bringing in Suicide as a replacement for you? Do you like Suicide, is he really your cousin?
Ninjarette: Suicide is not related. Kamilian is my cousin though.
RH: Kamilian, that's news... but do you like Suicide?
Ninjarette: I never met him, but, I'd kick his hiney!
RH: So you and Kammy friends?
Ninjarette: Oh yeah. The Kamilian came to my house last night and Psycohol made us a nice ham dinner.
RH: I truly doubt Psycohol would associate himself with Kamilian, I think your a liar...
Ninjarette: I AM NOT! falls on floor kicking and screaming AM NOT! AM NOT! AM NOT!
RH: Ok ok ok... calm down… calm down m'boy. So back to the whole Ms. Splooge situation… how long had you guys been keeping that behind Splooge's back? How long did the affair last?
Ninjarette: Oh, about five or six years.
RH: Wow, I didn't even realize Splooge knew her that long... or did he? Was he actually a fling for her?
Ninjarette: I don't know how long he knew her. All I know is I went to school with her.
RH: I really doubt they had been going out long, so this is news... wait what am I talking about?! It's a damn pumpkin! They rot within months, it couldn't have been years!
Ninjarette: WAS TOO! WAS TOO! WAS TOO!
RH: How could either of you even find affection in a pumpkin?! It boggles my mind
Ninjarette: Mrs. Ninja was the only person/thing that never kicked my ass!
RH: And somehow you produced offspring... or went to the gourd stand, and purchased your son?
Ninjarette: Gourd? What's a gourd?
RH: That would be too tough to explain to you... but what exactly was running through your mind when you watched Splooge smash and murder your family? It was Eeeevil...
Ninjarette: I was sad because he was so eeeeeeeeeeeeeevil.
RH: It was sad... watching you break down to your hands and knees crying... I was touched... I'm sorry about that man...
Ninjarette: You were touched? I never touched you!
RH: Hey! I didn't mean it that way you pervert... so do you miss your wife and kid?
Ninjarette: No really. I have Psycohol...
RH: Hahahaha!!! Ya know, I wouldn't be surprised if Natas or someone was feeding these things for you to say... or if it's just all in your mind... but I have tried to crack Psycohol so many times, and he never ever... uhhh, nevermind....
Ninjarette: Look, just because you are jealous because you want Psycohol...
RH: So what you little prick, he doesn't want you!
Ninjarette: I have him every night, girlfriend! sticks up hand Talk to the hand, 'cause the face ain't listenin'!
RH: YOU LIE! YOU LIE!!!!
Ninjarette: I'm all that AND a bag of potato chips.
RH: Oh no you little... Slappy Catfight ensues
Ninjarette: Ahhh! runs out the door
RH: Head runs to the door Yah, get out of my house L-O-S-E-R! Well that Ninjarette, I think he's a big fat liar... everything he said.... it was all a big fat l....... a knock at the door Oh no... yes?
Ninjarette: opens door Hello, Mr. Head. I'm here for my interview.
RH: Oh man... ok Ninjarette... we're gonna make this a quick interview ok?
Ninjarette: So, are you ready to start or am I early?
RH: You're on time... so the first and last subject I want to touch on before we hit the quick questions... your infamous train ride... can you tell us about that?
Ninjarette: Okay, well, I was fighting Psycohol and I was really kicking his ass. But, I really love Psycohol and I wanted him to look good. So, when I heard the train, I pretended like he was kicking my ass, and I pretended that I wanted to get away so badly that I jumped a train.
RH: That was quite a dangerous stunt you pulled there...
Ninjarette: I know, I'm all about danger. The train was going about 350 mph too.… and also, the camera cut out, so I actually hi-jacked the train and rode it to Montana.
RH: Well more like 15 mph, but I'll give you 350 if we're rounding off... and actually I don't remember the camera cutting out... I believe you guys returned to the arena and Psycohol defeated you....
Ninjarette: Yeah, Psycohol defeated me.... wink,wink.....
RH: So I’m curious... this obsession with Psycohol... how long has it been with you? I never noticed it on camera... and Psycohol has never spoken of you at all I don't think...
Ninjarette: I first fell in love with Psycohol on June 22nd, 1979.
RH: Well, wasn't that his birth-date actually?
Ninjarette: That was the day that the world became a better place.
RH: When were you born again?
Ninjarette: June 5th, 1980.
RH: I knew it was sometime after Psyco... interesting Ninjarette.... interesting....
Ninjarette: A little known fact is that it's Natas' birthday too.
RH: Really? So it seems you two would actually be more perfect for each other?
Ninjarette: Well, I couldn't really see him on his birthday seeing as how the fiery depths of hell scare the bejesus out of me.
RH: Ok... so let's get on to the quick questions...
Ninjarette: Okay, but make it quick! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
RH: Ok... if you stop laughing...
Ninjarette: Hold on, let me stop laughing! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
RH: HEY! So who would you say has been your worst enemy throughout your career?
Ninjarette: Ummmm, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil Mr. Splooge. Natas is pretty evil but the new Mr. Splooge is pure eeeeeeeeevil!
RH: Yes he tries to be... so who would you call your career-long best friend?
Ninjarette: Mr. Splooge.
RH: Oh, I see he made both categories... that's new...
Ninjarette: You don't listen very well, do you? Mr. Splooge is my best friend and eeeeeeeeevil Mr. Splooge is my worst enemy.
RH: Ok, ok... I got it.... Now what would you call the best match in your career?
Ninjarette: Well, probably the one where I hi-jacked the train and rode to Alabama.
RH: Wasn't it Montana?
Ninjarette: Alabama is the capitol of Montana, stupid! HAHAHAHA! You are so stupid!
RH: Oh yeah, I almost forgot that... so what was your favorite EWA Revolution?
Ninjarette: The Renegade Shows and after.... when I got my fiery new shorts.
RH: They were hot shorts! You know... Hot... they had flames... hot, hehe
Ninjarette: Hehe? You laugh like a girl! I wonder why no one pointed that out yet.....
RH: Hey! You're not supposed to put me down! Natas and those guys can, but you can't! So which would you choose... EWA or WWF?
Ninjarette: WWF!
RH: And what's your Favorite Move or moves to use?
Ninjarette: The Savate Kick!
RH: Funny it rarely helps you... but anyway... any opponent you find is Tougher than the rest? Gives you the hardest time?
Ninjarette: Psycohol. I hate striking his cute face.
RH: Oh please... who do you respect the most out there? I suspect Psycohol again?
Ninjarette: Oh yeah. He's so cute when I offer him beer.
RH: Now wait, you came into this interv.... well, your first interview praising Natas.... now you seem to be obsessed with Psycohol... wassup wit dat?
Ninjarette: Why can't I like them both? Am I only allowed to like one person?
RH: Yes, only one! And you don't drink beer... don't lie you prissypants!
Ninjarette: Oh yeah. I brought one with me, I'll drink it now! pulls out A&W and chugs it
RH: Well what can I say... I was wrong.... duh, moron! So one last question... who was your wrestling inspiration growing up, from the Big Leagues?
Ninjarette: Iron Mike Sharpe!
RH: Funny, I would have thought Hulk Hogan... but not a bad choice there...
Ninjarette: The Hulkster idolizes me. I already told you that.
RH: Oh yeah, my bad... so let's get on to the name association game... I say a name, you respond...
Ninjarette: Respond how?
RH: Like in a word or two what you think of the guy...
Ninjarette: Okay. Go.
RH: Mr. Splooge
Ninjarette: That's not a question. What about him?
RH: You are exactly like him, you know that don't you? I already had this dilemma with him...
Ninjarette: What's a dilemma?
RH: Nevermind that you illiterate sycophant, could you describe in a couple of words... what you think... of Mr. Splooge?
Ninjarette: I have a better idea. Let's do that name association thing instead.
RH: Ok... ummm, sounds good... can we start now?
Ninjarette: Yes. I've been waiting for you.
RH: Ok... first name... Mr. Splooge
Ninjarette: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil!
RH: Aha... the other Ninja?
Ninjarette: Not as cool as me. Wait, that's five words. You said I only get two or three, right?
RH: Right, actually one or two... but three's fine...
Ninjarette: Okay. Not cool. How's that?
RH: That's good, now cut out all your stupid little questions, and we'll be on a roll...
Ninjarette: Ask me what I think of myself..... please...
RH: Ok... Ninjarette...
Ninjarette: I'm awesome! See, only two words! I'm awesome!
RH: Cut the Jibba-Jabba! Suicide…
Ninjarette: Rotund.
RH: Haha... Natas.
Ninjarette: Scary
RH: Drakon
Ninjarette: Hippie
RH: Oh he'd like that comment I'm sure... Face.
Ninjarette: Stab!
RH: Wolfman X
Ninjarette: Fonzy
RH: The Halloweenies
Ninjarette: Wait, you have to ask separately.
RH: ok... Mr. Skullface...
Ninjarette: Stupid Russian
RH: Mr. Pumpkinhead
Ninjarette: Latino Heeeeeat!
RH: I Knew It! Shortcakes...
Ninjarette: Strawberries
RH: And last, but certainly not least... Psycohol...
Ninjarette: Sex God!
RH: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha-hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahaahhahaahhaahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ninjarette: Especially when he oils himself up and.....oh, nevermind.
RH: Awww man that's good... I can't wait to Interview him again, either I'm gonna get lucky watching him prepare to destroy you, or get lucky in another way....
Ninjarette: What?
RH: If you know what I mean nudging Ninjarette with his elbow
Ninjarette: No, I don't.
RH: Oh well... nevermind then my pal...
Ninjarette: Well, I think I have to go poopy again....
RH: Yes, well this interview is about over...
Ninjarette: It is my suppertime.
RH: And I was going to ask you to lay back on your sexual harassment on Mr. Splooge... but obviously with this fixation on Psycohol, you are preoccupied... and Splooge has no need to worry... on the other hand, Psycohol's reaction to this Interview will be precious... and if I were you, I would not get your hopes up for a friendly Psycohol in the near future
Ninjarette: Good. I like aggressive Psycohol, if you know what I mean... nudges Richard with elbow
RH: I know what you mean... and I'm sure you will be getting a response about this from him upon your return.... and aggressive response is likely... but may not be what you think... Folks, this has been my worst Interview as of yet, barely getting to ask any of the questions I had written down at all... thank you Ninjarette.... and we'll be seeing you again shortly I hope to see how your relationship with Psycohol turns out...
Ninjarette: You are welcome. kisses Richard on the cheek
RH: Ooooh, are you considering having me join your trio? I mean a duo now... but I'd make it a trio of good friends...
Ninjarette: No, I was just being polite! Psycohol is mine! Mine! All MINE!
RH: Oh... ok... well I don't think he really is yours, only in your dreams!!!!!!!
Ninjarette: Now, I have to get back to him. Bye, Richard. jumps out the broken window and runs away
RH: Folks, well you heard it here first... let Ninjarette go back home to his blowup doll, because nobody will ever get Psycohol unless it's me... ummm err, I mean some lucky lady...