Welcome to my Quotes Page! Funny Quotes Politics - From The Words "Poly," Meaning "Many," And "Ticks," As In "Small, Bloodsucking Parasites" "While it may be true that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach, sometimes it can be much more satisfying hacking your way through the rib cage." - Cara-Beth Lillback "Halloween is a fun time. I remember when my father used to drive us around trick-or-treating. We would go to only one house, demand jewelry instead of candy and then speed away. I loved dressing up as 'Pantyhose-Face Man'." - Unknown "I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like 'Hey, when are you going to pay me that hundred dollars you owe me?' or 'Do you have that fifty dollars you borrowed?' Man, quit being so cheap!" - Jack Handey "If your in the mood for adventure, a fun thing to do is to drive past somebody on the road, get in front of them, and then slam on the brakes; but man, I gotta warn you, it's not so good for your car - or your spinal cord." - Unknown "Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to throw back my head and gargle. Just gargle and gargle, and I don't care who hears me, because I am beautiful." - Jack Handey "I think the ultimate revenge for a woman would be to say to her husband, in the delivery room, just before that last big push, 'Hey! Pull my finger!' Then the baby pops out and everyone gets a big laugh." - Cindy Hayward "When being chased by police, I like to throw a banana peel on the ground. That way, when one cop slips on it and falls, the others will be laughing too hard to keep chasing me. It didn't work last time, but I'll try again when I get out of this place." - Marshall "It's strange, isn't it? You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaaargghhhh!' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in." - Unknown "Add The Freedom Quotes Gif To Your Web Page-FREE" Inspriational Quotes I see the magick everywhere and know I am not from here. Something in me is sore touched in wanting to go home. - Donald Marsh "The shady cathedral of the woods has long offered a retreat to the soul seeking communion with nature and her Creator. The trees rise like mighty spires, lifting our gaze and our thoughts heavenward. Layers of leaves are illuminated like stained glass windows as the morning sun filters through them. The delicate notes of songbirds float like a hymn upon the still air. Rays of light stream down from the windows of heaven, warming the forest floor below. They rest upon one's being and take away the chill of darker hours. It is in quiet places and in simple ways that heaven's veil is parted for those who knock upon its door." ~Greg Olsen~ Nature is too thin a screen; the glory of the omnipresent God bursts through everywhere. -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist and poet This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. The Dalai Lama (b. 1935) Tibetan spiritual leader You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough. Frank Crane (1873-1948) "Loneliness is usually a sign that I am not in touch with myself" Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It's our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit. -Mary Lou Retton (American Olympic Gymnast) Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be. The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn, the bird waits in the egg and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angle stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities. -James Allen "Wake up with a smile and go after life . . .. Live it, enjoy it, taste it, smell it, feel it."--Joe Knapp You are the child who danced in the sunshine, the young person who dreamed of changing the world, the admirer of all the beauty around you, a spirit who cannot be tied down.-- Ralph Marston It all comes from the mind. I've seen the most incredible success stories...because a person had a dream and it was so powerful no one could touch it. He'd feel it, believe it, think about it all day and night. That would inspire him to do things necessary to get the results he wanted. -Arnold Schwarzenegger It is lonely out here. We recognize each other. And, having recognized each other, is it any wonder that our souls hold hands and cling together even while our minds equivocate, hesitate, vacillate, and tremble? (Eldrige Cleaver) Twenty years from now you will be more dissapointed by the things you didnt do, then by the things you did do, so throw off the bowline. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover (Mark Twain) Learn to love the sunrise, and you'll become richer every morning. You'll find richness and fulfillment in the things you love, where otherwise you would have found nothing.-- Ralph Marston "If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil." Henry Fielding (1707-1754) Smile. Love. Be you. Today is a giant canvas, and you are equipped like no one else to paint your own living masterpiece. Fill it with passion, color, and depth.-- Ralph Marston Don't be afraid to try something new. An amateur built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. (Author unknown) Tomorrow, tomorrow, not today,all the lazy people say. -- German Proverb The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.- Albert Einstein Native American Quotes and Wisdom When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and nothing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home." Tecumseh, Shawnee Nation "When a man moves away from nature, his heart becomes hard." -Lakota Will you ever begin to understand the meaning of the very soil beneath your feet? From a grain of sand to a great mountain, all is sacred. Yesterday and tomorrow exist eternally upon this continent. we natives are guardians of this sacred place. Peter Blue Cloud, Mohawk Your forfathers crossed the great water and landed on this island. We took pity on them, and they sat down among us. We gave them dorn and meat. They gave us poison in returen. Sagoyewatha (Red Jacket), Senecca Let the spirits help you. And they will help you--but you have to have faith. They'll give you the undeerstanding and wisdom of your people. Abe Conklin. Ponca/Osage My words are tied in one with the great mountains, with the great rocks, with the great trees, in one with my body and my heart. All of you see me, on with this world. Yokuts prayer "This we know: the earth does not belong to man. Man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood that unites us all. Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself." -Chief Seattle "Members of any other ethnic group within the United States can return to their Native country, their place of origin, and they will get reacquainted with their traditional culture. But not for the American Indians. The Native land, the place of origin for the Indian ---it is here. Once the culture is wiped out, that is the end. There is no place for us to go back to." Lloyd Old Coyote (Crow) "Each of us has a language, an identity and a culture, that belongs nowhere else in the world except where we come from, and that's who we are. Where we live, where we come from defines us. We determine who we "gift", because when we gift any part of our culture, we are gifting part of ourselves." Merata Mita (Maori) We do not want riches. We want peace and love. - Red Cloud 1870 A man ought to desire that which is genuine instead of that which is artificial. Okute, Teton Sioux 1911 When it comes time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home. Chief Aupumut, Mohican leader (18th Century)