FZY CC - MATCH REPORTS 1999 (PART II)
Chagford (212-4 in 41 overs) beat Edgwareberry (131 all out in 37) by 80 runs
Halberton & Sampford Peverell (144 all out in 35.4 overs) lost to Edgwarebury (158-7 in 41 overs) by 14 runs
Feniton (124 all out in 33 overs) lost to Edgwarebury (126-6 in 37.2 overs) by 4 wickets
It was the game that nobody was up for – a long, hot afternoon retrieving sixes from the housing estate, hedge or football field, with a half-fit team and little fit bowling of note, against a team composed of some East Devon League regulars and promising young whippersnappers. Most of the ladies had given up hope and gone shopping; of the players, most would rather have been on the beach at Exmouth, the Dairy at Honiton or even the crystal factory at Dartington; everyone had to rush off back home, back to the daily grind; and Flossy was captain.
After a morning dispute with his family that would take diplomacy on the scale of the Congress of Vienna to resolve, it was Lord Castlereagh himself who had the honour of negotiating the toss so that he could bowl for an hour in the boiling sun. Lord Dartington opened from the other end, but after five overs, the two youthful opening bats had put on 34 runs. Professor Lancaster’s Theorem, that Devonian cricketers hit the ball harder because they’re all farmers, was being proven. The proverbial jury was still out, though, on the Japanese Alternative Theorem, that Devonian fists spend too much time where they perhaps shouldn’t…
But today, a just week after the Manchester dêbacle, the experience of the old timers came to the fore. The scoring rate dropped as the bowling and fielding tightened, and the pendulum began to swing. So too did the batsmen, resulting in one wicket for Dartington and three for Castlereagh. The Old Man of the Sea and the Japanese Ambassador were brought into the attack and the kamikaze continued. The home side slumped to 80-7, a bit like Manchester really, as much to the surprise of the fielders as anyone else. Even the Earl of Bentinck was in the attack, and, despite some hard hitting during the last wicket stand, the innings ended after only 33 overs.
Congratulating themselves on some decent outcricket, Edgwarebury tucked into tea. Lord Daneland talked everyone through his new glove adhesives, which apparently had the same qualities as a Honiton ice cream. The Japanese Ambassador, meanwhile, was talking everyone through his bowling, which with another 4-12 At Feniton made him by far and away the top wicket-taker on tour. One must attribute much to the influence of the Geisha girl touring with him.
The Old Man of the Sea, whose reward for (deservedly) wearing the toys all weekend was to go in first on a flat track, rose to the task. With Professor Lancaster, he registered 70 runs for the first wicket and sentenced the game. Even Edgwarebury couldn’t fudge that one, although they did lose their way a bit in the middle order. The one-legged Captain Biggles lasted for only a couple of attempted biffs, whilst Lord Hesketh of Silverstone and Lord Justice Davis hardly troubled the scorers.
And then there was the dog. A scruffy, half-brained mongrel, it decided to take revenge on the visiting team, which was the first this season not to leave it any sandwiches after tea, by ‘visiting’ the Earl of Bentinck, who was enjoying the game from a prone position at the time. Needless to say, his enjoyment ended there, but although he has since appointed Davis LJ as his attorney and the alleged incident is now sub judice, the enjoyment for some sad souls was the highlight of tour.
So, despite the loss of six wickets (it should have been seven as the Mayor of Carmel was dropped badly by the keeper at the end), the target was reached at a very reasonable 7.10pm, with plenty of overs to spare. An unexpected but most welcome victory, placing Lord Castlereagh on a pedestal as the mightiest tour captain of all, with his second such success. It was also the first time these London tourists had won two games out of their three in Devon. A victory, too, for the Gentlemen, just to prove that the spirit of cricket was alive and well.
Guest reporter: Barbara Woodhouse (Doggie Fashion Monthly)
Team:
Lord Castlereagh (skipper) Flossy
Professor Lancaster Shorty
Old Man of the Sea Marksy
Captain Biggles DK
Lord Hesketh Simon
Lord Justice Davis Jezza
Mayor of Carmel Clint
Japanese Ambassador Sumo
Earl of Bentinck Tav
Lord Dartington Wisey
Lord Daneland (wk) Anthony
UCS OB (132-5 in 38.4 overs) beat FZY (131-8 dec. in 44 overs) by 5 wickets
A second low-scoring match of the season at Ranulf Road, but this time the wrong result, a comfortable win for UCS. FZY were never at the races, and it was only the hard-hitting intervention of a Finchley solicitor which made a half-decent game of it. Tav’s recent surge of form may be down to extra-cricketing activities, of course, but it is good to see him at the dawn of his sixth (or is it seventh?) FZY career.
With the teams present no earlier than the prescribed 2.00pm start, there was no prompt beginning. It was soon clear that both sides were choosing to field one fewer than the eleven permitted players - in the away team’s case, the continued absence of Captain Chas with a damaged ankle was a worry. Wisey wouldn’t have played if a full complement was available, after a very early morning at a car boot sale where absolutely no-one bought any of the outstanding range of Patriots memorabilia that was available. So much so, the batting order was decreed from a fast-moving car on the A41, after stand-in Sumo had won the toss.
The Eve Pavilion was in a sorry state, masquerading as a building site. The tower was scaffold-clad, the changing rooms fenced-off and a half-empty three-metre skip stood idly in the compound. Apparently, the rebuilding of the pavilion had been abruptly halted, with not much completed. A case of lack of funds? This is UCS, so I think not. No, lack of Planning Permission was the cause, which, given that work had already started on the quiet, means that things may not get going for a long while.
Changing facilities were thus only available in the bar, which soon resembled a Slazenger catalogue. And the only available toilets had a big ‘Ladies’ sign on the door. But it was a warm day, and everyone sat outside waiting to feast their eyes on the next FZY batting collapse. Sure enough, it was tough going in the middle. After a couple of wayward overs at the start, the bowling settled down to a nagging line and length. Shorty and Ben fell to poor shots, so Anthony had to shoulder responsibility. Trouble is, he was joined by Clint, who is an even slower scorer than he (with the bat, not the pencil - Ed.) Anthony had reached 17, one of his highest scores of the season, before he was bowled playing back.
Enter DK, still hamstrung after tour, to face the final ball of the over. ‘Yes!’ called Clint, as a thick inside edge travelled towards fine leg. Only DK slipped fatally, yards from his own crease, dropped his bat, and was run out by so far that the fielders were more than apologetic. Clint made 14 before, two balls after the drinks break, he was done for playing across the line, and Moishe was soon back in the bar, too.
Things were getting desperate, but enter Tav. Following runs the two previous Sundays in Lancashire and Devonshire, he seemed to have his eye well and truly in, and he hit some excellent boundaries. Aided by the addition of Leigh Adams to the ‘attack’, with his unsubtle brand of slow-snow deliveries (You can talk - Ed.), Tav powered his way to 40 runs. Sadly, he missed by one his CB, also achieved at Ranulf Road, although on the lower square. Wisey and Marksy had a bit of boundary-hitting practice at the end, before the former declared at 5.00pm precisely.
Tea was taken in the crowded bar, as, on the television, England slumped to defeat in the Lord’s Test Match. Someone called Horne got plenty of runs for New Zealand, and a bowler called Geoff got a lot of wickets (The old ones are the worst - Ed.). England’s captain was absent injured, too.
UCS reached their target fairly easily. Their main batsman, Diamond, was dropped before he had scored many, but he went on to make a fifty and seal the game. The innings as a whole was truly unremarkable. With the 1999 series level at one cricket game apiece, it would be down to an autumn challenge bridge match to decide the winners.
Guest reporter: Adam Parore (Auckland Pot Smoking Weekly)
20th Anniversary Double-wicket competition at Old Habs, Borehamwood. Each pair had ten overs at the crease, and was penalised 5 runs for everey wicket lost. The scores were as follows:
Howard Lancaster (53 for 2) and Howard Granville (31 for 2) - Net 66
Anthony Woolwich (16 n.o.) and Paul Jayes (37 for 4) - Net 46
David Kay (34 for 4) and Moishe Engel (26 for 6!) - Net 15
Marc Ross (47 n.o.) and Roddy Doyle (25 for 2) - Net 70
Chris Edwards (39 for 2) and Julian Lyons (30 for 5) - Net 37
Anthony Levy (40 for 3) and Mark Abelson (23 for 2) - Net 38
David Segal (30 for 3) and Steve Leven (16 for 5!) - Net 20
Anthony Wise also took part, bowling 12 overs but not batting. Including extras, a total of 492 runs were scored for 40 wickets
Maccabi League
Edgware Wanderers (92 all out in 36.2 overs) beat FZY (75 all out in 29.2 overs) by 17 runs
Match report to follow
Maccabi League
MAL (81 all out in 38.1 overs) lost to FZY (106 all out in 39.3 overs) by 25 runs
Match report to follow
Old Haberdahsers (163 all out in 44.4 overs) beat FZY (126 all out in 37.5 overs) by 37 runs
So, another season ends. With a resounding whimper, it has to be said. Questions were being asked in the House as to whether this match was the last of FZY CC as we know and love it. After twenty 'golden' years, have the buffers been approached, the end of the road been reached, the pot at the end of the rainbow been troughed?? With babies and wives sprouting from every angle, it is clear that only an influx of new blood can save the club from a thumping demise. Sad then, that the worthiest new recruit in the last two years should announce his retirement from the game during the season, citing disillusionment with his form. Time for a merger, maybe?
On the field, it was a disappointing end to the season, to lose a game despite having a two-man advantage over the opposition. Wisey was widely blamed for giving away his wicket with just seven balls of the match remaining, but overall, the team was shown up as being not in the same class as a group of regular League cricketers. To reach that standard, you have to be REALLY good at sledging the opposition. Old Habs were good enough to win anyway, but the constant and very often personal mouthing-off of some of their players took the gloss off what should have been a pleasant Sunday afternoon's cricket.
Charlie lost the toss, and FZY were invited to bat first. Simon Levy was the home captain - two of his players as well as himself had played for FZY, whilst Wisey and Shorty were playing for the visitors. Simon used his captain's prerogative and opened the innings, but he was soon bowled by a beaut from Wisey. Coping with speed has never been Simon's strong point. The Big Man was now just one wicket behind Flossy for the season (30-31). Flossy was toiling away from the bottom end, but the heat was searing, and he took himself off after only five overs. Wisey had no more luck from the other end - the Old Habs pitch was as responsive as ever - and was forced to give up a few overs later. Although Flossy briefly came back on, neither took another wicket, so New Dad just took the honours over Dad to Be.
The batsmen rather enjoyed themselves as bowling and fielding was difficult in the heat. Charlie put a momentary brake on the scoring rate, before 'Shag' Edwards joined the attack from the Croxdale Road End. Still without an FZY wicket to his name, he made a late bid to be seasonal top wicket-taker, racing to three in only a few overs. His two-step approach to the wicket, straight out of the Torvill & Dean training manual, belied copious flight and guile, with a high action and nagging leg-stump accuracy. With Charlie also picking up wickets, and the long, rugby grass slowing down the scoring rate, the bowling team was on top at 74-6.
But enter Haroon, 'Rooney' Ahmad, who was not much in the mood for such trifles. As befitting his role as Old Habs first XI captain, he proceeded to smite the ball to all parts. He picked his spot with seemingly apparent ease, shielded the other batsman and gave a lesson in how to run between the wickets. The score was doubled and more as FZY wilted in the heat, and it wasn't helped when Clint dropped a skied outfield catch (off a seen-it-all-before Shag). He finished on 69, caught and bowled by Chas, but his efforts had served to lift the score to a much more challenging level than it had once seemed was possible. Chas finished with 4-37, for the record, and Shag 3-26.
So, what were the chances of FZY making their second highest score of the season? With nine men in the field, and a reasonable batting line-up, a possibility, perhaps? Well Clint, opening with Anthony, was bowled in the seventh over, but the clattering timber was hardly heard above the barrage of sledge. Anthony coped best, ekeing out 32 runs - his highest score of the season. For the first hour of his innings he made the art of dentistry look reckless, but he opened up thereafter and hit some pleasing shots. Byes were aplenty with only a limited field and a part-time wicketkeeper, but quick singles not forthcoming enough. You wouldn't believe it, but the sun went in and it became considerably cooler, too, to the advantage of the fielders. The roar of thunderstorms could be heard in the distance, but nothing transpired over Borehamwood.
Meanwhile, things changed when Rooney was called upon to bowl. Suddenly the pitch became a raging 'Bunsen', and rare is the occasion when FZY face genuine spin. To say he had the batsmen tied up in a knot would be an understatement, as his figures of 7-26 would indicate. And he took a hat trick. First Paul Jayes was bowled playing the wrong line, then David Tropp was out in exactly the same fashion, and, when David Kay walked in front of his stumps to the next ball, Clint had no option but to give him out. Charlie just managed to save four in four balls - he had been umpiring earlier in the over! - but the core of the innings had been ripped out.
Anthony stepped up the pace, as the last 20 overs began with still over 100 needed. Charlie also hit some hard boundaries, but the batsmen never mastered the bowling. But they kept going, until the ninth wicket fell with only forty runs and four overs remaining. With the fielders crouching round the bat, Wisey was undone by a Rooney delivery which came back to castle him. Was the breaking of the stumps significant in any way? Was it symbolic that the tall totem of FZY over the course of its entire history was the man to fall?
History will dictate the answers in years to come, and perhaps there will be an enduring tale of a lovable cricket club. Meanwhile, it was a disappointing (and loud) end to a disappointing season. Underachievement in the League, a double disaster in Manchester, and a meagre batting record. Only Tour stood out as a highlight - on the playing and social side. It was also a good year for hatches and matches, but can the old guard hang around for another fifteen to twenty years before their children come through??
Guest Reporter: Paul Philipp (L'Etoile Luxembourgeois)
