Love Endures
by Dani
Remember it's a continuation of Love Conquers All, but I don't think it will be necessary to read it if you haven't, unless you just want to. LOL! And there is- or will be - another challenge, but you know how my stories - and all B&M stories, I hope - end. Just keep that in mind. LOL! And I'm having the same trouble with this one as I did with Uncertainties - the title. This is the best from the list I came up with. So it could change. LOL! And here I go blabbing again. Sorry. Hope you like it. Dani
CHAPTER ONE
"Are you absolutely sure?" Meg asked. "This really isn't a very good time... No, I understand. It's just that... Right... I see... Yes, of course. That's understandable... Right... Yes... Thank you..."
Meg placed the phone back onto the receiver and sat down at the desk. "This can't be happening to me," she sighed.
"Mommy!" Jacob yelled. "Mommy, I wanna go to the beach," he continued as he entered the living room.
Meg walked over and picked him up. "Hi, sweetie," she smiled.
"Beach, Mommy, beach!" he pleaded again.
"Jacob, Daddy will be home soon. Let's just stay here and wait, alright?"
"Mommy..." he cried.
"Please, Jacob. We'll go to the beach later. I promise."
Jacob reluctantly gave in, pouting.
"Thank you, sweetie," Meg smiled. "Maybe Daddy will go to the beach with us later." She kissed his cheek. "Now let's go up and check on Audrey, okay?" Meg put Jacob back onto the floor, took his hand, and led him up to the nursery. They walked over to the crib where they found the baby wide awake.
"Hey, little one," she cooed as she bent to pick her up. "Your big brother and I just came to check on you."
Meg carried the baby to the rocking chair where Jacob followed her. The two and a half year old insisted on 'reading' a book to his sister as Meg held them both.
"Hello? Anyone home?" Ben called as he entered the house. Without waiting for an answer, he headed straight to the nursery where he found the trio sitting quietly.
"Daddy!" Jacob called when Ben entered the room. He jumped out of Meg's lap and rushed to his father's arms.
"Hi, Jacob," Ben smiled, hugging his son tightly.
"I missed you today."
"We missed you, too, Dad," Meg said as she got up and walked over to kiss him. "Hi, honey," she smiled.
"Hi." He returned her kiss and then looked down at Audrey. "How has Daddy's little girl been today?" he asked.
"Lazy, as usual," Meg answered. "She slept most of the day, and then Jacob and I came up to read a book to her."
"Daddy, I can read!" Jacob said excitedly, thinking that his attempt at story telling was a major accomplishment.
"Very good, son. I'm very proud of you." Ben said, humoring him. He then turned to Meg. "How have you been?"
"I'm fine," she smiled wearily. "Just tired."
"Are you sure that's all it is? What did Tyus have to say about it?"
"Ben, let's not talk about it right now, okay? Let's take the children out to the beach. I promised Jacob."
"Alright." He kissed her forehead. "I'll go change."
Soon the little family was sitting on the beach in their favorite spot. Ben and Jacob built a sandcastle while Meg and Audrey looked on.
"Having fun yet?" Meg asked Ben as she watched Jacob dump another shovel of sand on him.
"You know I am," he smiled as he dusted the sand off. "Why don't you come here and help us?"
"I have to watch Audrey," she replied. "Besides, even if I helped you, Jacob would tear the thing down as soon as we finished," she laughed.
"I suppose you're right," he answered. "Come here, Jacob." Ben whispered something in his ear and then sent him rushing over to Meg.
"Mommy, Daddy told me to do this," he grinned and then made the cutest little face she had ever seen.
"Please play with me, Mommy..." he begged.
"You weren't supposed to say I sent you, son," Ben laughed.
Meg giggled. "Well, I guess I have no choice now. Come on." She picked Audrey up from the blanket and carried her over to where Ben and Jacob had been building the sandcastle. "Let's show these boys how to build a real sandcastle," Meg smiled as she sat down and placed Audrey on her lap.
The family continued their afternoon on the beach, enjoying every minute they had together. Later, after the children had been tucked in, Ben and Meg sat in their bedroom in silence.
"Is there anything I can do to make this easier, Meg?" Ben asked as he tried to find some way to comfort her.
"Ben, there isn't a thing you can do. I just have to live with it."
"No, WE have to live with it, Meg. I'm here for you. You know that, don't you?"
"I know, Ben, but I'm just so scared..." She began crying as she had done often in the last few months.
"I know, darling. I know..." he said, taking her into his arms, stroking her hair gently.
"No, Ben. You don't know. You have no idea how I'm feeling right now. There's no way that you could ever understand."
"Meg, I WANT to understand. I want you to confide in me again. Please, Meg..."
Meg pulled away from him. "Ben, please don't do this to me. I don't want to talk about it, okay?"
"No, Meg, it's NOT okay. I'm worried about you, and you've shut me out. You have to talk to me. This involves both of us. You're not in it alone, Meg."
"But I am, Ben. I don't want to drag you - or the children, for that matter - into this. You don't deserve to go through something this horrible."
"Meg, when I married you, I promised to be with you for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. I meant that, Meg. I love you too much to let you go through this without us. We're your family, Meg, and we love you... I love you, Meg, and I always will..."
"How can you love me when I'm doing this to our family, Ben?"
"You aren't doing anything to us, Meg. It isn't your fault..."
Meg continued crying. Ben pulled her back into his arms, allowing her to cry into his chest. "I love you, Meg. I love you more than anything..."
CHAPTER TWO
"Good morning," Ben whispered when he saw Meg open her eyes. "Did you sleep well?" he asked as he pushed a stray hair away from her face.
"As well as I could, considering," she replied and reached up to kiss him. "I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to be so upset."
"Hey, don't worry about it," he said and pulled her close to him. "It's understandable, considering what you're going through," he assured her.
"I still shouldn't have been so angry at you. It's not your fault."
"I know you didn't mean it, Meg. It's okay."
They sat in bed for a few minutes, enjoying being in one another's arms, before being interrupted. Jacob slowly pushed the door open and rushed over to the bed.
"Good morning," Meg smiled as Ben picked Jacob up and placed him between them.
Jacob looked up at her and smiled. While he was caught off guard, Ben tickled him. He began giggling. Meg laughed at the sight before her. For a moment, she forgot about her troubles as she watched father and son together.
Ben finally released Jacob, who rushed into Meg's arms. Ben smiled at his wife. "Now isn't this fun?" he grinned. "Takes your mind off everything, doesn't it?"
Meg returned his smile. "Yeah. You're right. I needed that." She hugged Jacob tightly and kissed his cheek. Suddenly she heard crying coming from across the hall. "Uh oh. I think I hear your little sister. Would you like to help me check on her?" Meg whispered to Jacob.
"Yes, Mommy!" he exclaimed and jumped off the bed, darting out of the room with Meg on his heels.
Ben laughed at his son's eagerness, and got out of bed to follow his little boy and his beautiful wife.
"Good morning, angel," Meg cooed as she lifted Audrey from the crib.
Ben walked into the nursery and watched as Meg soothed their little girl's crying. He couldn't help but wonder why a woman who was this dedicated to her family could be put through the problems she had faced the last few months. He sighed at the thought of the remainder of the torture they might have to endure.
"Come here, Jacob," Ben said as he bent to pick him up. He looked over at Meg who was still holding Audrey and smiled. "I think we're pretty lucky, Meg. Regardless..." he said simply.
Meg returned his smile with a tear in her eye.
"I think you're right," she replied.
"Hey..." Ben placed his arm around Meg's shoulder and pulled her close to him. "We're gonna be fine, Meg. We'll survive."
"I hope so," Meg said quietly, as Ben wiped the tear from her cheek.
"I KNOW so," Ben assured her. "We've made it through everything else, haven't we? What could life throw at us that we couldn't face? I don't think there's anything we can't do together."
Meg looked at him. "Ben, this is one thing that I'm not so sure about."
"Meg, we - "
"Let's not talk about it right now. The children..."
"Yeah," he replied and looked back at Jacob who had begun to squirm in his arms. "What do you say we all go downstairs and make breakfast together?" he suggested.
"I think that's a wonderful idea, Dad," Meg answered. "How about you, Jacob?"
"Yeah! Ice cream!" he exclaimed excitedly.
"No, Jacob. I don't think your mother is going to let us have ice cream for breakfast," Ben laughed.
"You're absolutely right. No ice cream," Meg said, enforcing each word by touching Jacob's nose with her finger.
"They're both sleeping," Meg said as she entered the living room.
"Good," Ben smiled as Meg sat down beside him.
"This will give us a chance to talk some more."
"Yeah..."
"Does Tyus think it's really that serious?" Ben asked.
"He said that there was no cause to worry until he got the test results back, but how can I NOT worry about something like this?"
"I know, I know..." He pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arm around her. "We both need to take it easy until we find out exactly what's going on," he said.
"I know you're right, but it's just so hard for me to ignore what's happening to me... to us... I just..." She paused as she tried to refrain from crying again. "I just can't handle this, Ben. I have so many other things to worry about with Jacob and Audrey and - "
"Hey..." He placed his finger to her lips gently. "I told you that there's nothing to worry about. Everything will turn out fine. I'm sure of it."
"Well, I'm certainly glad that you're so sure, because I'm certainly not."
"Meg, we just have to stop thinking about it for now. I know it's hard, but there's no point in worrying about something that we have no control over right now. We just need to wait for those test results and hope that everything is alright."
"But what are we gonna do if everything ISN'T alright, Ben? What if the test is positive?"
"Well, if that DOES happen - and it's very unlikely that it will - we'll deal with it. Together. Meg, I'll always be here for you, and no matter what Tyus tells us, we're all going to be fine. I promise."
"Ben, how can you make a promise like that?"
"Because we ARE going to be fine, Meg. Nothing is going to hurt us. It may be a difficult struggle, but I know that we'll be fine."
"I hope you're right, Ben. I really do..."
CHAPTER THREE
"Have you heard anything from Tyus, Meg?" Ben asked when he found Meg in the living room, folding laundry.
"Not a thing," she replied as she picked up the last of Jacob's shirts. She had grown to love playing the role of wife and mother to Ben and the children, and folding laundry was one of the boring, hum-drum activities she enjoyed most. "It's starting to worry me," she admitted.
"Don't worry yet, Meg. We still don't know the test results," he said as he picked up a pile of Jacob's clothes and followed Meg up to his room. "I'll stop worrying when I find out something," she said as she placed the clothes in a dresser drawer.
"Well, I'm sure it won't be long now," Ben assured her and walked over to rub her shoulders. Meg melted at his touch.
"Is this any better?" he asked. "Much better," she replied.
RING! RING!
"That must be Tyus," she said when she heard the phone. Ben could immediately feel her tensing up again.
"Do you want me to get it?" Ben asked.
"No, no. I'll do it," she said and then picked up the phone.
"Hello? Oh, Tyus, I've been waiting for your call... No, that's fine... I understand... That's great... Oh... No, no... Tyus, I want you to tell me right now... I don't want to wait until tomorrow... Please, Tyus... Oh... Yes, I understand... We'll be there... Thank you, Tyus... Goodbye..."
Meg placed the phone slowly back onto the receiver and stared off into space.
"Meg? Meg, are you alright?" he asked as he walked over to place his arms around her shoulders.
She shrugged him off, turned to face him and immediately burst into tears. "No, Ben, I'm not..."she managed to utter through the steady stream of tears rolling down her cheeks. She fell into his arms and sobbed into his chest.
Ben stroked her hair gently and tried to soothe her. "What did Tyus say?" he asked.
"He wouldn't tell me a thing over the telephone, Ben. Do you know what that means?" she cried.
"It means that he didn't want to tell you over the telephone and that - "
"Ben, it means that something is wrong," Meg interrupted. "If he couldn't give me the news over the phone, then that has to be why... Oh, Ben, what are we going to do?" she sobbed.
"We're going to go and see Tyus and find out what's going on. And, until then..." He raised her chin so her eyes met his. "...we aren't going to jump to any conclusions, Meg. I'm sure Tyus just wanted both of us to be with him to discuss the results. That's all," he said, trying to assure not only Meg, but himself as well.
"I hope you're right, Ben, but I'm not so sure."
"When can Tyus see us?" he asked.
"He said if we could get there this afternoon, he could fit us in."
"Well, we'll be there. Just let me call the office and tell them I won't be in this afternoon. And we can leave the children with Sara and Casey. I think they can handle them for a few hours," he smiled, trying to ease the tension in the air.
"Maybe for a little while," Meg smiled weakly, also trying to ease the tension.
They made the arrangements for the afternoon and arrived at the medical center early.
"Dr. Robinson has been expecting you. He'll be with you in a moment," the nurse informed them. Ben and Meg took a seat in the waiting room. Meg held a tight grip on Ben's hand as she sat nervously, awaiting the news that could change both their lives forever.
"Mr. and Mrs. Evans, the doctor will see you now. Right this way," she instructed them, and led them
into his office."Good afternoon," Tyus greeted them and motioned for them to sit down.
"Good afternoon, Tyus," Ben responded politely.
"Well, I suppose you're both curious as to why I wanted you here to discuss the results," Tyus said after they had all taken their seats.
"Curious is putting it lightly, Tyus," Meg replied simply.
"I'm sorry about that, Meg. I just thought you should both be here."
"Well we're here now, Tyus, and we'd both like to know what you've found out," Ben said, almost as nervous as Meg who was clutching his arm tightly.
"Well, I have some good news, and I have some bad news..."
CHAPTER FOUR
"Well, Tyus? Come on. I think you've kept us in suspense long enough," Ben urged.
"You're right, Ben. I've kept you waiting long enough. And I'm really sorry about that."
"It's okay, Tyus. Just get on with it."
"Are you sure you're ready?" he asked.
"Yes, Tyus. We're ready... Right, Meg?" She nodded quietly in response.
Tyus took a deep breath as he took a quick glance at the chart in his hand.
"Well, here goes. The good news is that there is nothing physically wrong with you, Meg. Nothing life threatening, at least."
"Thank God," Ben whispered, relieved.
Meg also breathed a sigh of relief as Ben hugged her tightly. She then turned back to Tyus. "And what about the bad news?" she questioned, yearning to know the extent of her troubles.
"Well, like I said, there is nothing life threatening, but I'm not exactly sure how you're going to take this."
"Tyus, we can handle it. Right, Meg?"
"Right. Just tell us, Tyus." She tightened her clutch on Ben's arm.
"Meg, we all know about the difficulties you had during your last pregnancy. It wasn't very easy on you, physically."
"Yes, I know," she replied quietly.
"You and little Audrey are lucky that you survived the delivery, Meg."
"I understand that, Tyus. But please just tell us what's going on," Meg pleaded.
"Well, because of those difficulties, you may never be able to carry children again, Meg."
"What?" Meg asked, shocked. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means exactly what I said, Meg. You may never be able to have children again. The difficulties you had were serious, Meg. They discause some damage, and that damage might interfere with your chances of getting pregnant again."
"You said 'might,' Tyus. So there is a possibility that Meg can still get pregnant again, right?" Ben asked.
"There is a slight possibility, Ben, but it isn't very likely."
"I don't understand, Tyus. We didn't have any problems getting pregnant with Jacob and Audrey. They weren't even planned," Ben reminded him.
"Yes, I know, but the last delivery caused some damage, Ben."
"But, Tyus, I can try to get pregnant, can't I?" Meg asked.
"I wouldn't advise it, Meg. Another delivery like that could really hurt you. It could cause more serious damage - possibly permanent - or worse."
Meg fell into Ben's arms and began crying uncontrollably. Ben stroked her hair gently, trying
once again to soothe her."Tyus, I'm taking her home. She doesn't need anymore news today," Ben said as he helped Meg to the door.
Ben helped Meg home and carried her up to the bedroom. He placed her on the bed and then lay down beside her, taking her in his arms.
"We have two beautiful children, Meg. And I have you. That's all I need, darling."
"Ben, we'd already talked about another child. And now we can't have one..." she sobbed.
"Hey..." Ben whispered and pulled her closer. "We're have a wonderful family. We'll be fine, Meg.
You'll see.""But I can't give you another baby. I can't have your children again, Ben. Doesn't that hurt you at all?"
"Meg, the only thing that hurts me is seeing you like this." He pushed a stray hair away from her face.
"Oh, Ben..." she cried.
"Hey, it's gonna be fine, Meg. We'll survive.
CHAPTER FIVE
Meg spent the next few days sulking around the house, avoiding contact with Ben - avoiding contact with anyone. Ben tried with everything he had to get through to her, but she just wasn't going to face the reality of the situation. She just wasn't ready...
The only people she had managed to remain sane around were the children. She stayed with them every waking second of the day. Ben also found her in the nursery rocking chair, sleeping, nearly every night. He could see how much this had hurt her, and he was willing to try anything to make it easier for her.
"Meg, I thought we could take the children out this afternoon. We haven't been to the beach all week," Ben said as he sat beside Meg on the sofa. She was holding Audrey who was sleeping soundly.
"Ben, I don't think I'm up to it today," she replied simply as she rose from the sofa and began taking Audrey up to the nursery.
Ben followed right behind her. "You can't do this, Meg. You've said that every time I've mentioned it. I'm not going to let you do this to yourself."
Meg placed Audrey in the crib, took his hand, and led him into the hallway. She closed the door behind them and looked at her husband.
"To myself?! Ben, what I've done is not affecting just me. It's affecting you - and the children. I can't give you another child, Ben. It's not fair to you."
"To me? Meg, it's not fair to you either. Believe me, I understand what you're going through. I'm going through it, too."
"No, Ben, you're not. I'M going through this. I'M the one who can't have children here. YOU can still have children. Why don't you just leave, Ben? Why don't you just find someone else? Someone who can give you what you want," she yelled at him.
He looked at her and could see how frustrating the whole ordeal was to her. He yearned to take away the pain - to ease her sorrow. "Meg, YOU are giving me everything I could ever want OR need. I don't want someone else. I want you. I want you again, Meg."
He stroked her cheek tenderly, gently wiping the tears away. "I don't want this to tear us apart, Meg. I want it to make us stronger." He paused as she looked into his eyes. He could see the hurt in her eyes as she cried softly, quietly.
"Meg, we have the two most wonderful children in the world, and I don't need anymore than that. Yes, I admit it would have been nice to have a third child, but we can't. We have to face that and go on with our lives. We - you - don't deserve to have to live like this... With this guilt... It isn't your fault, Meg."
"Oh, Ben... I... I just can't..."
"Hey..." he whispered as he pulled her into his arms. "I love you, Meg. I loveyou more than anything. And I love Jacob and I love Audrey. The three of you are all I need," he assured her.
"I'm sorry, Ben... I'm so sorry," she cried.
"I've been so upset about everything lately... I haven't been there for you..."
"You're always here for me, Meg. And even when you won't have a thing to do with me..." He raised her chin and brushed a tear away from her cheek. "I see your beautiful face in little Audrey's smile... And I see your stubborn streak in Jacob's tantrums..."They both smiled slightly. "Now that's what I wanted to see," he grinned. "There's that amazing smile."
He bent to kiss her. She gave in to him, like she had done so many times before. Every time he kissed her, all her worries disappeared, even if just for one brief moment in time. Ben broke the kiss and looked into her eyes.
"Jacob and Audrey are sleeping... Maybe we could..." She smiled and nodded as he scooped her up into his arms and carried her away...
CHAPTER SIX
"Feeling better?" Ben asked as he and Meg lay in one another's arms.
"Much," she smiled, and reached up to kiss him.
"I think that was just what I needed."
"Hmm..." he mumbled. "Well if you ever need that again, you know where to find me." He grinned, and tapped her nose gently. Meg climbed out of bed and began to get dressed.
"What are you doing?" Ben asked as he sat up in bed.
"I'm getting dressed... What does it look like I'm doing?" she questioned.
"Getting dressed, of course, but I thought..." He reached over, grabbed her arm, and pulled her back beside him playfully. She giggled as he continued.
"I thought we could just lie here for awhile, enjoying each other's company. It's been quite awhile since we've done that, you know."
"I know," she replied quietly. "And YOU know that I would LOVE to just stay right here in your arms, but..."
"But motherly duties call," he finished.
"Exactly," she smiled. "We DO have two little ones to take care of."
"Oh, I know. Two beautiful, wonderful, adorable little ones... And I'll help you," he added as they both got out of bed and began to get dressed.
"Daddy!" Jacob yelled as he rushed into Ben's open arms. Ben smiled brightly and picked up the
little boy."Hi, son," Ben laughed. "I thought you were sleeping."
"No, Daddy," Jacob answered and then resumed playing with his building blocks.
Ben watched as his son carefully stacked the blocks, determined to successfully complete his task. As he watched him, thinking of Meg with every darling expression Jacob made, his heart tore in two when he realized that he and Meg would never experience some of the most wonderful feelings again. The thrill of discovering that they were to be parents again; the agonizing, yet amazing, hours of labor; the joy of holding their newborn child for the first time; the smile on Jacob's face when he met his new sibling. They would never share that again. It just couldn't happen...
"Hi, sweetie," Meg cooed when she noticed that Audrey was wide awake. "How long have you been up?" she asked and was answered by a soft gurgling sound. Meg laughed. She took little Audrey from her crib and carried her to the rocking chair where she began to nurse her. She glanced down into the baby's eyes and smiled. She was always reminded of Ben when she looked into the children's eyes - the same deep, blue, captivating eyes as their father. She held the tiny baby close as she continued rocking. As she watched her, thinking of Ben with every darling expression Audrey made, her heart tore in two when she realized that she and Ben would never experience some of the most wonderful feelings again. The thrill of discovering that they were to be parents again; the agonizing, yet amazing, hours of labor; the joy of holding their newborn child for the first time; the smile on Jacob's face when he met his new sibling. They would never share that again. It just couldn't happen...
CHAPTER SEVEN
"Pleeease, Mommy," Jacob pleaded with the most adorable expression Meg had ever seen. "Jacob, I told you that you have to wait for your Daddy," Meg informed him - again. "We can't go to the beach without him." At that moment, Ben walked through the door.
"Daddy!" Jacob yelled and rushed into Ben's open arms. "Beach, Daddy! Beach!" he exclaimed.
"In a minute, son," Ben smiled. "I need to talk to your mother first." He looked over at Meg and grinned. He then turned back to Jacob. "Why don't you run upstairs and get your beach toys? I'll be up in a minute," he continued and then watched as Jacob hurried up to his room.
"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Meg asked as she walked over to Ben. He took her into his arms and pulled her in for a passionate kiss.
"Wow," he grinned when the kiss ended. "How do you do that to me every time?"
"What?" she asked, puzzled.
"Every time we kiss, you take my breath away," he informed her and then proceeded to prove his point with another kiss.
"Mmm..." she uttered. "You do the same to me." She kissed him once more and then looked up into his eyes. "So what did you REALLY want to talk to me about?" she asked.
"Well..." he began. "After last night, I thought you and I could use a little more romance..."
"A little more romance? Ben, when I'm with you, there's ALWAYS romance," Meg assured him.
"And I could say the same about you, but..."
"But what?" she asked curiously.
"But I think that we need to get away for awhile. You've been under so much stress lately, and I think that you deserve a bit of relaxation."
"Are you suggesting we take a vacation?"
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm suggesting... A vacation."
"But what about the children?" she asked.
"The children are coming with us. I've already made the arrangements. I've hired a nanny so you and I can spend a little quality time together, but still have the children with us. Everything's set, Meg. All you have to do is agree to it."
She looked at him, amazed. "Ben, there's just one thing that I need to know before I agree to anything."
"And what's that? Ask me anything," he smiled.
"Where exactly are you planning to take us?"
He paused for a moment. "Well, I happen to know this wonderful city. Very beautiful - although nothing compared to your beauty, of course," he grinned, enjoying watching her wonder about his plans.
"Ben, that's very sweet of you to say, but I really would like to know where you're planning to take me," she replied. He looked at her, smiled the most wonderful smile, and then said simply...
"Venice."
She looked at him in awe. "Ben, did you just say what I think you just said?" she asked in complete disbelief.
"Well, if you think that I just told you we're going to Venice, then yes," he smiled.
"Ben!" Meg exclaimed and then fell into his arms. "I can't believe this!" She reached up and kissedhim. "I love you, Ben! I love you so much!"
"Well, I love you, too, Meg," he smiled. He just held her for a few minutes and then looked back at her. "I'm glad you're so excited about this."
"Excited?! Ben, how could I NOT be excited... We're going to Venice... The most romantic city in the world..."
CHAPTER EIGHT
"So you have to be on your very best behavior while we're away, Jacob. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Daddy," he replied and hurried up to his room.
Ben had just given Jacob the father-son 'best behavior while we're on vacation' speech. Meg had listened as he spoke - the perfect father. She saw how patient Ben was with Jacob - and Audrey, for that matter. Meg knew that she had to learn to live with the fact that Jacob and Audrey were the only children they would ever have, but she just couldn't stop thinking about it. Ben was such a wonderful father to the children. She knew that he loved them more than anything, and she hated the fact that she couldn't give him more.
"Meg? Meg, what were you just thinking about?" Ben asked.
"Oh... Nothing. Nothing at all," she replied absent mindedly.
"Meg, it's me... Ben. I know when something's bothering you, and I can see that there's something on your mind."
She smiled at him. "I can't hide anything from you, can I?"
"No, you can't," he grinned. "Come on, darling. Tell me what's bothering you."
"Ben, I think you know exactly what's bothering me..." she answered solemnly.
"You're right... I do," he sighed. "Listen to me, Meg. Worrying about this isn't going to fix it. We've just got to move on with our lives, regardless."
"Move on? Ben, we've been put through a lot, and we've survived it all, but - "
"No buts, Meg. The point is we've survived everything else and we'll survive this, too."
"But this is different, Ben. This is MUCH bigger than the aftermath of the cave-in and the whole Derek mess and anything else we've been through. Ben, this is permanent damage. You can't fix this for us. It's not that simple."
"Meg, it's VERY simple. I love you and you love me and we both love our children. There's nothing that can tear our family - and us - apart. Not unless we let it..."
Meg looked at him as unbidden tears flowed down her cheeks. "Ben, I love you and I love our children, but I don't want to take away any chances of you ever having children again. I - "
"Meg, stop," Ben interrupted, becoming frustrated. "I've told you this, and I mean it. This is NOT your fault. I love you, and that's all that matters. Why can't you see that anymore?"
"Ben, I DO. I DO see that you love me, and that's why you won't let go," she cried.
"Let go? Meg, I'm NEVER letting go. Can't you understand that?"
"Ben, I... It's just not fair to you."
"What's not fair to me is the fact that you aren't giving me a chance. I don't care what's thrown at us, Meg. We can make it through as long as we're together. We already have our family and we have our love. That's all I need. And if you can't realize that... Well, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I don't know how to fix this unless you put it behind you, Meg. I'm perfectly happy with our life and I want you to be happy, too, but I'm not sure how to do that anymore." Meg was crying even more intensely now. Try as she might, she couldn't stop the tears from coming. Ben walked over to her and slowly enveloped her in his arms. "Hey," he whispered softly in her ear.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so upset. I know you're in a delicate condition right now."
"No, Ben. It's not your fault... I'm the one that should be sorry," she said as he gently wiped her tears away. "You've been so wonderful through this whole mess and all I've been able to do is complain."
"Oh, Meg..." he sighed and held her even tighter. "I wish I could just take this away... All this hurt..."
"Is Mommy hurt?" Jacob asked as he came down the stairs and entered the room.
"Jacob," Ben said, surprised.
Meg quickly wiped her tears away, turned, and smiled weakly at Jacob. "No, sweetie. Mommy isn't hurt. I'm fine," she answered, trying to sound as convincing as possible.
"Are you crying, Mommy?" he asked innocently. Ben quickly changed the subject. "Jacob, let's go out to the beach. How does that sound?"
"Yeah! The beach!" he exclaimed and headed to the door.
Ben turned back to Meg and kissed her cheek lightly. "We're gonna be fine," he assured her. "Just fine..."
CHAPTER NINE
"I can't believe this. I can't believe that we're actually on our way to Venice," Meg said in awe as she and Ben sat with the children in the plane.
"Well believe it, Meg," Ben responded as he ruffled Jacob's hair lightly, watching him sleeping soundly. "Dorothy and SB, finally on their way to Venice - with the two most adorable children in the world, who just happen to be their own," he smiled and glanced over at Meg.
She smiled back at him and kissed the little one in her arms. "Who would have ever thought that the hopes and dreams we shared over the Internet would ever come true? I mean, I'm living this and I STILL can't believe that it's really happening."
"Well, we always said that we'd go, didn't we? And I always keep my word - especially when it concerns the most wonderful, amazing, not to mention beautiful, woman in the world..."
Meg blushed. "Ben, you always say the sweetest things," she smiled. "And I love it..."
"And I love YOU," he replied. "And soon you and I will be taking that romantic gondola ride down the Grand Canal. Just like we said we would..."
She sighed. "This is too amazing, Ben. I love you so much." She reached up and kissed him.
He grinned. "Just wait until you see what I have planned for you," he teased.
"Ben Evans, what are you up to?" she asked curiously.
"Oh, my dear, I think you'll just have to wait and see..."
"Ben!" she cried playfully. "Aren't you going to tell me?"
"Of course not. That would ruin the whole surprise, wouldn't it?" he grinned.
"I guess you're right," she conceded. "It WOULD ruin the surprise, but I can't wait to see what it is..."
"Oh, you'll see soon enough, darling. You'll see..."
CHAPTER TEN
Soon the little family arrived at their destination - Venice. They spent their first evening in the quaint little villa Ben had rented for their stay. The children were extremely tired, so Meg spent her first night in Venice, tossing and turning, waiting for the excitement to begin...
The next morning, Meg woke to find Ben missing. She crawled out of bed, put on her robe, and ventured downstairs to search for him. She found him in the kitchen with a tray of food, on his way upstairs.
"What do you think you're doing?" she asked curiously.
"Well, I made a little breakfast for you and I was about to bring it up, but you ruined the surprise," he answered.
"I'm sorry," she smiled. "But it was a sweet thought... I just woke up and you were missing. It worried me."
"I'm sorry, darling." He kissed her cheek lightly after setting the tray on the table. "I didn't mean to worry you, but I just wanted to do a little something special for you to start our day together."
"Our day together? What do you have planned for the children and I today?" she questioned.
"Well, for the children I've planned a nice, peaceful day with the nanny..."
"Ben, we can't leave them with a nanny. I just can't..."
"Meg, the whole reason I hired the nanny was so you and I could spend some quality time together - alone. We'll have plenty of time in the next couple of weeks to be with the children, but I want our first full day in Venice to be just for the two of us."
She finally gave in. "I suppose you're right. SB and Dorothy DO owe it to each other to spend a romantic day together in Venice."
He smiled brightly. "Well I'm glad you finally understand what I'm saying. We're going to have a wonderful time... I promise."
"Oh, I know we will. I always have a wonderful time with you."
"And I with you," he smiled. "Now let's get ready..."
Ben and Meg dressed for their day out. They left the children with the nanny, and began their adventurous day.
They started with a stroll through Saint Mark's Square. Ben watched as Meg took in each beautiful sight she saw.
"Ben, this is incredible. It's more beautiful than I could have ever imagined," she said giddily as they stopped in at a little cafe.
"Yes, it's VERY beautiful," he commented as he stared at Meg. While she took in the architecture, he was taking in her...
"Ben, you're not even looking," she laughed.
"I'm seeing exactly what I came here to see... You smiling," he said as he watched her, watching him. Without saying another word, they kissed passionately. When they finally broke the kiss, they looked at each other in amazement. Ben finally broke the silence.
"And I thought kissing you couldn't get any better," he whispered, their eyes still locked.
"Mmm..." she mumbled. "Kissing you is always amazing."
He paused for a moment before going on. "You know, I think now would be a perfect time for us to get back to the villa. The children will be in the park all afternoon..."
"Ben..."
"I know, I know. I guess I need to be a little more patient, don't I?" he grinned.
"Yes, you do," she laughed. "Besides, we haven't even been on our gondola ride yet."
"You're exactly right. And right now sounds like a wonderful time to take that ride. Are you ready?"
She smiled happily. "I've been ready for this ride for a long time."
"Good," he smiled. He stood and held out his hand for her. "Shall we?"
"We shall..."
Ben enjoyed every second he was spending with Meg. He watched as she stared at the city around her, and, if he hadn't known before, he realized that Venice truly was the most romantic city in the world. They sat in the gondola, side by side - Meg staring out at the scenery, occasionally glancing over at Ben, and Ben staring at Meg. He was engrossed in her beauty the entire time as they floated down the Grand Canal.
"Ben Evans, what are you looking at?" Meg asked when she glanced over at him and found him staring at her.
"Just the most beautiful, amazing, incredible woman I've ever known," he said sincerely. "Meg, you're absolutely stunning," he continued, brushing her hair away from her cheek. He then kissed her where his fingers had caressed her skin.
"Ben..." she whispered.
"Hmm..." he mumbled, still kissing her.
"We have an audience, you know..."
"What?" he asked when he finally pulled himself away from her.
"The gondolier. He's right behind us," she giggled and kissed him quickly once more on his cheek.
"Oh, I'm sure he's seen much worse," he grinned and kissed her passionately.
Meg reluctantly broke the kiss and looked at him.
"Ben, I really want to do this, but not here. Not now..."
He smiled at her. "I know you're right, but I just couldn't help myself."
"Later, I promise," she assured him. "But for now, let's just enjoy our gondola ride."
"It's a deal..." he smiled and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close.
"Ben..."
"Yes?"
"Would you do something for me?" she asked, looking up into his eyes.
"Anything for you, my love."
"Recite some poetry for me," she requested.
"Alright. Let me think... How about Lord Byron?" he asked, after a brief pause. She nodded in response.
"She walks in beauty, like the night; Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that's best of dark and bright; Meet in her aspect and her eyes..."
Meg smiled at him. "That's beautiful," she whispered.
"So are you," he replied and leaned over to kiss her again. "I love you, Meg..."
"I love you, too, Ben."
They finished their gondola ride and returned to the villa that evening. The nanny still had the children out; Meg had insisted on checking on them on the way home. Once she was convinced that they wouldbe alright with her, they finally made their way home.
"Do you think the children will be okay? Seven is pretty late for them to be out," Meg said as they stood at the front door.
"Meg, they'll be fine. She promised that she would have them home by nine. You saw how much fun Jacob was having. And Audrey seemed to be enjoying herself as well."
She smiled. "Yeah, I know. But we've hardly seen them all day."
"We'll have all day with them tomorrow, Meg. I promise. But right now you and I have the house all to ourselves, and we have to make good use of our time alone..."
She grinned mischeviously. "You're right. And I think the best start to this evening would be for us to go inside."
He laughed at her remark. "You know, that's a very good idea." He unlocked the door and opened it for her. She stepped inside and stopped just inside the door.
"Ben, what is this?" she questioned when she saw the trail of white rose petals leading from the door to the stairs and on.
"I don't know. Maybe we should follow them and find out," he grinned.
She smiled back at him. "Okay..."
He took her hand and led her over the rose petals. When they reached the end of the trail, they were standing by their bed. The room was filled with the soft glow of candles and the sweet scent of the roses all over the room.
"Ben, how on earth did you do all of this?" she asked.
"Oh, I have my ways..." he smiled. "The important thing is that I've waited all day to have you alone, and now I've finally got you here."
"And what ever are you going to do with me, Mr. Evans?" she asked innocently.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe..." He pulled her to him and kissed her tenderly. "How's that?"
"Wonderful," she whispered and kissed him again.
"I love you more than you know, Meg. You have to believe that. You're all I've ever wanted..."
"Ben, I do... I do believe that... And I love you very, very much. You're too good to me."
"Nothing will ever be good enough for you, my love." He pulled her in for another kiss, and they spent the night wrapped in one another's arms...