Trying to Understand Parts 1-2

Notes: Sixth story in the I'll Be series, story starts 7 months after Love is All leaves off. After some serious thought there is no main song theme in this story, though a song or two might be used.

Summary: Something goes horribly wrong during the kidnapping of Josh and Donna's two remaining children driving them to brink.

Trying to Understand

By Mer

Part 1

Seven months had past since Josh and I laid Nathaniel to rest. Little Noah and Julia both gave us quite a few scares but by the time they were four months old, both of them had been able to come home. Neither one of them miraculously show any signs of the battles they fought so hard for. The doctor keeps giving them both a clean bill of health.

Josh went back to work a week after Nathaniel's death, though he was always available when a situation arose at the hospital. For the first month both of our surviving children did their best to try and give their father some gray hair.

While they were still in the hospital I only worked part time and most of that work was done outside of the office. I did a lot of work sitting in a rocking chair between my two angels. Josh usually came to visit them once he got off work, which was usually by seven at the latest.

The kids had been home for a month when I realized I needed to go back to work in the office. Josh was starting to get swamped, and when he gets swamped he gets cranky. The temporary agency was tired of giving Josh temps because he wasn't the easiest person for a new temp to handle. Even though I had been reassigned to Toby, Ginger begged to be switched back a month after our kids were born and her wish was granted.

Since I was leery of sending our kids to daycare Josh agreed we should hire a live-in nanny. She was an African-American woman named Keisha, who was Charlie's 2nd cousin and she was a godsend. When our days got hectic she would bring the kids by so we could feed them dinner and hold them for a while.

Keisha was an older woman in her mid-fifties whose own two kids and husband were killed in a plane crash some twenty years earlier. Keisha had never remarried and she missed being around kids that she decided to become a nanny and quit her job as a senator's aide. She was about six foot tall and had a no nonsense attitude. Knowing immediately that Keisha would be able to put up with any complaints Josh might have I hired her on the spot.

Josh actually got along with her surprisingly well. She seemed more like an aunt than a nanny. Josh was the one who suggested she live with us due to our hectic schedules and our sometime need to be at the office most of the night. In return Keisha helped with the upkeep of the house and cooked an occasional meal.

When the kids were five months old I went back to work and for the first two months everything was working out smoothly. Josh and I were both adjusting to parenthood beautifully. Until I noticed something one day in an email that I had to confer with C.J. to make sure. Josh wasn't in the office otherwise I would have gone straight to him.

"Carol does C.J. have a minute?" I asked after I had calmly walked down the hallway.

"Yeah go on in." Carol replied without even looking up from what she was doing.

C.J. likewise was bent over her desk, busy doing something. I knocked on her door frame as I entered so she knew I was there. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Donna, how is the West Wing's favorite mommy doing?" She asked.

"I'm okay." I replied in a shaky voice.

"Donna, what's wrong?" C.J. asked.

"Josh's friend from the FBI Mike Casper just sent me an email that I was hoping you could tell me was a false alarm." I replied as I handed her the email.

Mike email had said the West Virginia White Pride member they had captured in connection with the shooting was believed to have been killed in prison and the group might be looking for revenge against the administration. Namely a threat against our two children. But I was unaware of any previous threats from them outside of Roslyn where Josh wasn't even a target.

"Donna, after Josh was shot and while he was first recovering there was a few threats lodged against him by the same group. He was a Jewish guy who was on TV all the time in connection with the man they caught. None of those threats were taken really taken seriously, however one plain clothes Secret Service agent was posted in the vicinity of Josh's hospital room for a few weeks just in case." C.J. answered.

"Why would they want to go after our children now?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. You should probably talk to Leo about this. I don't think we can blow this off." C.J. replied.

"No, not when it involves our kids. Josh is going to be furious when he finds out." I said.

"Yeah, especially when he finds out who the threat is from." C.J. agreed.

C.J. took me over to Leo's office. Leo read the email and C.J. reminded him of the history behind their threats. Leo arranged for our family to have Secret Service protection immediately.

"Leo, our young family has already been through so much. Please don't let this happen." I begged.

"Don't worry Donna, I love those two kids like they were my own grandkids. I promise you that nothing bad is going to happen to either one of them. Ron is selecting the agents himself." Leo assured me.

"Leo, you might want to call Josh because he is going to blow a casket when he finds out and I can't afford for him to get too wound up." I said.

"I can handle Josh. You might want to call Keisha and tell her what's going on because I wouldn't want her to get upset by the situation." Leo suggested.

I smiled as I pictured Keisha trying to ward off the Secret Service men with a broom. Keisha was one tough lady. Our kids were going to learn a lot from her.

I went back to my desk, taking deep breaths all the way. Nothing was going to happen to our family. I just knew that everything was going to be fine.

Keisha didn't answer when I called the house. I wasn't worried because Keisha often took our kids as she ran errands or arranged play dates between them and some of her young relatives. It was the call to her cell phone that went unanswered that bothered me. Keisha always had her cell phone turned on and I received some kind of error message saying that it wasn't.

"Donna, is Josh back yet? I need…" Sam began but stopped when he saw the look on my face. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just being paranoid that's all. To answer your question Josh's meeting is running late and then he is scheduled to meet with Matt Skinner after that so it'll be awhile." I replied trying not to act rattled.

"Okay, have him stop by my office when he gets back." Sam replied as he went on his way.

I calmly picked the phone back up and decided I had simply dialed the wrong number. That had to be it I prayed as I dialed Keisha's number again. The same message played and I placed the phone down shakily.

Forcing myself to breathe I thought of what Keisha said her plans for the day were. She mentioned a morning play date and then some shopping in the afternoon. I looked at the clock and realized she was probably at the mall and her cell phone signal was blocked somehow. Even in this day and age things like that still happened.

I called home again and left a message on the answering machine for her to call me as soon as she got back. Then I tried to immerse myself in my work. When the phone rang ten minutes later I pounced on it.

"Hello." I said hurriedly.

"Afternoon beautiful." Josh said sweetly into the phone.

"Afternoon to you too." I replied trying not to let my disappointment show.

"We are on a short break here. It might take even longer than I thought. What am I supposed to be discussing with Matt later?" Josh asked tiredly.

Normally the exhaustion in his tone would have sent warning signals. His physical health had improved slightly. He no longer needed a wheel chair and only had to wear a brace on one leg. However he had been ill recently and was trying to act more recovered then he was. But I was preoccupied so I let it slide.

"He wants to talk to you about 403. The notes are in the orange folder which should be in the thin blue binder unless you did something screwy with your bag while my back was turned." I replied.

"I love you so much sweetheart. What do you say the five of us go out to dinner tonight?" Josh asked.

The idea intrigued me. Josh and I rarely went out to dinner anymore not to mention with Keisha and the kids. I didn't feel like cooking so it sounded like a plan.

"Yeah that would be great." I replied.

"Okay I gotta go. Give the kids a kiss for me if Keisha stops by with them." Josh said.

"I will. I love you." I answered.

"Me too Donnatella." Josh whispered as he hung up the phone.

Being married sure had it's upside as Josh got me to forget I couldn't get a hold of Keisha. It also put me in a happier mood, which unbeknownst to me was about to be ripped away from me.

A half an hour later I felt a tap on my shoulder. I smiled as I turned around thinking it was Sam coming to see if Josh had somehow managed to make it back sooner than I told him. Things of that sort were known to happen from time to time.

It wasn't Sam though. It was Leo. He motioned for me to come into Josh's office. A feeling of dread washed over me as I refused to sit down in a chair Leo pointed to.

"Donna, there is no easy way to say this, but before Secret Service protection could arrive Keisha and the kids were attacked." Leo said in a very grim voice.

Part 2

"Oh God." I gasped placing my hand over my mouth.

"While preparing to place her kids in the car in the mall parking lot Keisha was struck in the back of the head and knocked unconscious. Your children appear to have been abducted." Leo said as gently as he could.

"Leo…" I replied shakily.

"We are going to do everything we can to get them back." Leo assured me.

"Josh." I whispered.

"Someone is notifying him right now. He'll be brought back to the White House immediately." Leo replied.

I slumped down in a chair. My two little darlings were kidnapped. I couldn't imagine what they must have been going through. Noah was really good around strangers, nothing seemed to bother him, Julia on the other hand was frightened by strangers. She screamed her head off if someone she didn't know tried to pay attention to her. It had taken her a couple of weeks to get used to Keisha.

"Is Keisha okay?" I asked after a moment.

"Yes, she is being taken to the hospital as a precaution but she appears to be okay. She's devastated that this happened." Leo said.

I nodded as the tears I had been fighting began to fall. Leo held me for a minute until C.J. heard what happened and took over for him. I just couldn't believe this was happening to us. I thought our young family had already been through the worst and apparently was wrong.

"We are going to get them both back safely." C.J. assured me.

I nodded, though I knew there was no way she could guarantee that. Leo had already assured me that nothing would happen to them and yet they had been kidnapped so I was a little leery. I had already lost one of my kids and I didn't know what I would do if I lost the other two.

"C.J., Josh is going to explode when he finds out." I sobbed.

C.J. thought about that a moment before answering. She knew that I was right because Josh still had occasional problems with his anger. This would definitely cause the occasional problem to flare up. Josh was still haunted by Nathaniel's death and I feared what would happen if Julia or Noah were hurt.

"Donna it will be okay. I'll get Sam to help you handle Josh. Maybe we can get Danny to help write a convincing article so the kidnappers bring your kids back promptly." C.J. suggested.

"C.J." I sobbed.

"I know sweetie. Everything will work out. You'll see." She said as she stroked my hair.

C.J. stayed with me until I heard the unmistakable sound of Josh rushing in with his one crutch. I jumped up and ran over to him. In my haste I knocked him onto the couch. He got a surprised look on his face.

"Donna darling our kids have been abducted. I don't think right now is the best time to have sex." Josh said quietly and then flashed me a tiny smile.

I had to laugh in spite of myself. I got up so I wasn't directly on top of him anymore. His smile quickly faded. A look of anger and pure disbelief replaced it.

"What do we know?" Josh asked as he repositioned himself so he was sitting up on the couch.

"Not much." C.J. replied.

Josh nodded and he patted the cushion on the seat next to me. I took the hint and sat down beside him. He took one of my hands in his.

"We will get through this." Josh commented quietly as C.J. left us alone in the office.

Josh and I sat on the couch for a while not saying a word. Tears were still streaming down my cheeks but I paid no attention. The look on Josh's face led me to believe that his thoughts were a thousand miles away. Part of me wanted to know what he was thinking and then another part of me knew he was thinking of the worst case scenarios and I didn't really want to think about that.

My attempts to talk to him were only met with a nod or a squeeze of his hand. I knew that he needed to be alone with his thoughts and that he also needed me by his side. I didn't make a big deal out of it. Instead I just leaned against his shoulder and tried not to soak his sleeve too much.

"Guys I just heard is there anything that I can do to help?" Sam said as he rushed into the office.

"No." Josh said softly, speaking for the first time in nearly a half hour.

"Pray." I whispered as Sam nodded.

Josh got up off the couch and he motioned for me to stay put. He walked out of the office and his body language said it all. This was tearing him up inside. It also said that he needed to be left alone.

"Is he okay?" Sam asked once Josh was out of sight.

I knew Sam wasn't trying to say Josh had no right to be upset. He was just making sure that Josh wasn't going to explode.

"I don't know Sam." I admitted slowly.

"He seems to be taking this quite well considering. I mean I figured he would be screaming at anyone who would listen." Sam offered.

"Yeah. He's almost gone the other way. He's too quiet." I replied.

As Sam processed that I glanced at the TV Josh had in the corner and noticed the kidnapping was already making waves. My heart broke as they began to show pictures of Nathaniel's funeral. Wondering what angle they were taking I had Sam turn up the volume.

"In August of last year one of the triplets died shortly after birth. Many of the Washington elite attended his funeral. The two surviving triplets remained hospitalized until December and made it home in time for Christmas. Both are reported to be in excellent health at the time of the kidnapping. The White House has yet to comment on the kidnapping though a press conference on the subject is planned for later this evening." An unknown reporter said as pictures of Noah and Julia flashed on the screen.

"Turn it off please." I begged and Sam complied with my wish.

"Donna they need you in the Oval office." C.J. said as she popped her head in.

I nodded and I walked to the Oval Office wondering where Josh had gone off too. I hoped that he had been summoned as well. I always felt out of place in the President's office because I didn't think I should be there. It was more of a place for Josh because he actually helped with policy; usually I helped with the note taking and little else.

Charlie hugged me once he saw me approach. I tried my best to smile back at the kind words he whispered in my ear, but I was unable to. Luckily he didn't seem to mind.

Head Secret Service Agent Ron Butterfield, President Bartlet, Leo and a man wearing an FBI jacket were waiting for me. Josh was nowhere in sight. I began to wonder where Josh had gone off to when President Bartlet interrupted my thoughts.

"Donna this is Jack Hanson from the FBI's Child Abduction unit. He's here to ask you a few questions about Julia and Noah." President Bartlet introduced.

"Hi." I replied as he held out his hand.

"I'm sorry we didn't meet under better circumstances Mrs. Lyman." Jack said as I shook his hand.

"Please call me Donna." I said as the President motioned for me to sit on the couch.

"As long as you call me Jack. Let's get started then. Donna are there any distinguishing marks on your son Noah?" Jack asked as he pulled out a note pad.

"He has a moon shaped birth mark on his left shoulder." I replied.

"What is his personality like?" Jack asked.

"He's the quiet one. Hardly ever cries and never really makes too big of a fuss. He smiles a lot and it doesn't take much to make him laugh." I replied as I pictured my son.

"What about Julia? Any birthmarks?" Jack asked.

"None whatsoever." I replied with a small shake of my head.

"And what is she like?" Jack asked.

"She makes her presence known. I swear that child has a future in politics." President Bartlet interjected.

"So she cries a lot?" Jack asked.

"Yes. She likes to get her way. She doesn't like strangers and will cry until she sees a familiar face, no matter how long that takes." I replied.

"Does she get along with Noah?" Jack asked.

"Yes. They are always crawling around the house together. Julia is the leader and Noah appears content with following her lead." I replied.

Parts 3-4 coming soon

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