The Xena Scrolls is a perfect example of an episode I didn't get much out of the first time I watched it, but it gets better with each subsequent viewing.
The very first few notes of music are reminescent of the score for Raiders of the Lost Ark. Since when did "Paprika" mean "I found it!"? I get a kick out of Lucy's Southern accent. Her Midwestern normal Xena voice is fantastic enough, but to add a Southern drawl to it... And Renee's Indiana Jones' impersonation is very impressive too! Special kudos go to Renee for not blinking or squinting when she shoots the pistol. After growing up with the likes of Charlie's Angels, it's refreshing to see a female character who isn't afraid of a gunshot! It took me forever to figure out what Gabs growls, but it's "Ventilated my hat!" Hee hee...there ARE holes in it. One thing I particularly liked about Renee's portrayal of Janice is the great glee she took in what she was doing, no matter how dangerous it was. It very much reminded me of Harrison Ford's Indy. And nice touch that she didn't shoot to kill... I don't know why, but I always giggle over this line, "In it you said you wanted help translatin' ancient writins' and here I am!" Lucy's portrayal of Mel reminds me a lot of Lynda Carter's Diana Prince. "It sure as hell ain't suicide, Sweetheart." Great dialogue...was that from one of Indy's films? "Oh, my gioodness (sic)..." Hee hee...I love that accent! And I got a kick out of Ted's French accent as well. It appeared the actors were having a lot of fun playing their characters so... out of character. But I despise the way Smythe talked! A grown man should never use the word "giggle". Janice's tan makes her look as if she's got a dirty face in the outdoor scenes. We've seen that collapsing staircase before...in Death in Chains, I believe. Jacques S 'Er may have had a dashing accent, but he was the same old Joxer! In the tomb, the shadows were casting pretty evil looks on Mel's features. I don't know if I consider Marcus Xena's "true love", as Mel read from the scrolls. Would Gabrielle? She was the author after all. Personally, and this shouldn't come as a shock to anyone, I think Mel was right when she called it "our" discovery. "Get the girl!". It's hysterical to hear Janice yell that! Those torches sure don't light the room very much! Check out Mel as Janice and Jacques discuss the new room they've entered. She is in an absolute trance, doesn't move the whole time, and nobody notices. I could do without "Shazam!". Ares always kind of reminded me of Dracula anyway, so it was appropriate he come out of a coffin. How would Ares know what a gun was or how it worked? He sure caught on quickly! I love the way he sent those knives into Smythe. Makes me want to "giggle" just thinking about it! Why doesn't Ares kill Jacques, as he did the others? I don't necessarily want to see Joxer dead, but what was the reason Ares would let him live? How does Ares know about New Jersey, and who Jacques actually was? I think I like Ted's New Jersey accent even better than his French one. Gabbers' can sure do a good job making that baby face of hers appear tough! When I originally saw this episode, I hadn't seen most of the episodes the clips in this show were taken from. Talk about frustrating! If Janice, Mel, and Jack are all descendents of Gabrielle, Xena, and Joxer, then that means that somewhere down the line, they all had children who lived to have children of their own. "Wait till they get a load of me!" Ares predated the Jack Nicholson's Joker by almost fifty years! How does Ares know Melinda's name? I always get a charge when Mel stands up and it's obviously not Mel anymore, but Xena instead. Love that red lipstick! Red is definitely Lucy's color! Xena rips the skirt and ditches the high heels immediately...I guess it would be kind of hard to fight that way. Does she actually give Ares a shot to the groin? He sure reacts that way. I think it's a really nifty touch when Xena hesitates before taking Gabrielle's arm, once they're out of the tomb. It's like, this girl is a stranger, and she doesn't know if she should touch her or not. It's not surprising, but very cool how quickly Xena comes to Gabrielle's defense. It's very weird hearing Gabrielle referred to in the past tense. How exactly does Ares manage to capture Janice and Joxer? It's creepy hearing Ares talk about Hitler. Those two probably would have gotten along famously, but I don't like the thought. Does Xena intentionally miss the eye when she throws? And the spiked ball was totally over Janice and Joxer's head. It wouldn't have hit them! Ares was sure whipping up on Xena! He doesn't usually do that well against her. I always thought it would be smarter for Ares to keep his hand under the door. I dunno why, but since he can't be hurt, maybe he could have figured out a way to get it open. What was the purpose of Janice blowing up the tomb? Without Xena, Ares never could have been freed again. "You're a swell lookin' tomato with a nice set of gams." Hee hee! I love that line! Mel almost looks like she's swooning over Joxer...now THAT'S acting! Why would Jack have a thing for Mel? Shouldn't it be for Janice? Is that really Rob's office? I'm glad Rob got rid of that goatee...it made him look too sinister. Matt LeBlanc? Yeah, right. Third world country? I'll bet the Kiwis wouldn't take too kindly to that! I like the clever little ending of this one...sure it didn't make any sense...but I still like it! Xena has clip shows like no other series I've ever seen...they're complete adventures within themselves...and The Xena Scrolls is an entertaining sendup of Indiana Jones, which is one of my favorite movie series. There were tons of plot holes, but overlooking them has become easy for me...and I enjoy this one a lot.And here are Gary's thoughts: This clip-show had a lot in it,namely a past time and a future time. The story opens up in Macedonia in 1940. A Gabby descendant lookalike named Janice Covington is an adventuress in search of the Xena Scrolls,believed to be in Ares' tomb. Mel Pappas,a Xena-descendant lookalike,is there to help translate any text for Janice. Their respective fathers were treasure-seekers,too,and the girls want to follow their dads' way of life. Enter the bad guys. In the tent,Mel and Janice are attacked by gun-whielding thugs. They have handguns and a Tommy Gun,and fire at Janice mostly. She responds with her revolver,and then unveils a Gatling gun,which after firing hundreds of Rounds,sends the bad guys running. Note: The only injury is to Janice's hat...a bullet hole. No holes are in the tent at all. Outside,Jacques Cyr(Joxer) a "Frenchman" wants to help the girls in the search.The bad guys reappear and make a deal with Janice. Mel reads the correct combination to open the door to the tomb,and they are then captured. They go in and the stairs collapse,causing a rockslide. The two groups are separated and the hunt is on. In a passageway,Mel accidentally trips a snare and daggers go towards Janice,taking off her hat.Another injury to her headpiece. Janice tells Mel not to touch anything,so Mel sits down,causing a rock panel to turn,revealing the scrolls and half of the Chakram. They make their way to the tomb room where they meet the bad guys,one of which has the other half of the Chakram. Mel is taken over by Xena's spirit(which means that Xena is dead at this time) and she is drawn to the other half. Meanwhile,Ares awakens from his casket,and kills the bad guys. The Chakram joined,Xena is now flesh again,in Mel's body and runs off with Joxer and Janice. Ares had told Jan and Joxer who they were in previous lives,and they each are disappointed. Xena tells Janice that Gabby was her friend and was never useless. Joxer remains the fool he always was. The Joxer and Jan pair are grabbed by Ares and he wants Xena to hit the icon,the Eye of Asphestus,so that his spirit will no longer be imprisoned,and he will be made flesh again. Note: The bad guys shot Ares,and he was not hurt,tho he had NO god-like powers at that point. Xena/Mel throws the Chakram at the icon,and also it hits the ropes,freeing Joxer and Janice. Ares knows what Xena is trying,and deflects the Chakram to hit the Eye again. Why twice? He is now a full-god and a door exiting the tomb is opened. He starts to walk out,and Xena fights him. He keeps beating her down,and keeps trying to get out. Gabby/Janice uses her whip to stop him from killing Xena,and Xena throws the Chakram again(once) at the Eye,closing the door slowly. Ares tries to escape,but Janice gets Mel and Joxer out okay,trapping Ares. Later,Janice dynamites the tomb,trapping Ares "for a while'. Mel and Janice join forces for more adventures,which unfortunately,we never see. That would have been better than the China eps. or the truly awful Clones and Soul Possession. Problems: How does the old Chakram even exist? It was joined with the Light Chakram in CHAKRAM, by Xena,and it COULD NOT POSSIBLY EXIST AT ALL. Big mistake by RenPics. The new Chakram survives to Clones,so what gives? This show can not exist.It would have been okay if no other show was done changing the Chakram. Also,who put Ares in a tomb...was he dead? Where was Xena's spirit and how does she get in the tomb? How is the Chakram,at least half of it,containing Xena's soul? remember,Xena belongs to Ares after her death,in Soul Possession...the marriage deal. all told,this ep. was okay.It had clips of the past,best of which was the fight between Gabby and Joxer. Note: The future...A Joxer relative,the grandson,finds the Xena scrolls and brings the originals to Rob Tapert for introducing a new show. Tapert is not interested until he reads one. He says it is interesting. Joxer had the scrolls translated,but Tapert is reading from the original ancient Greek...quite a guy,huh? Here are Andrew's views: A very different kind of "clip show", with most of the action taking place in Macedonia during World War Two. Not only that, it also introduces two characters who inspired a whole new sub-genre of Xena fan fiction. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *XENA AND GABRIELLEOr rather, Mel and Janice. It was a real surprise seeing Lucy Lawless as Melinda Pappas for the first time, but not as surprising as her southern fried accent! I have to say, 1940s fashions really suit her. As for Renee O'Connor's "Indiana Jones" look, I nearly fell out of my chair laughing the first time I saw her! She also gives a very creditable impersonation of Clint Eastwood in her opening scene, and seems to be having the time of her life firing all those guns. The role-reversal idea, with Renee as the tough adventurer and Lucy as the naive but spunky sidekick, is brilliant. Mel lacks field experience but she's an expert translator, correcting Janice's assumption that Xena was fair-haired and Callisto dark. Her eagerness to prove her abilities hasunforseen consequences when she inadvertently ruins Janice's attempt to fool Smythe into thinking the stone tablet "key" is a fake. She then sets off a trap, "ventilating" Janice's hat for the second time - I love the look on Janice's face when this happens! Nevertheless, it's Mel who accidentally discovers the Xena Scrolls, along with one half of Xena's chakram. She also senses that some titanic struggle took place in the tomb, and is irresistibly drawn to the other half of the chakram. When the two halves are joined, Xena's spirit takes over the body of Mel, her descendant. Janice is appalled to discover that she is descended from Gabrielle, whom she describes as a "useless tag-along". Xena puts the record straight, telling her "Gabrielle was never useless". In the final battle with Ares, Xena rescues her friends and once more traps the God of War in his tomb. Returning to her former self, Mel shyly suggests that she and Janice become partners. Janice agrees, having come to see sidekicks in a new light. GENERAL OBSERVATIONSThis episode devotes less time to clips from earlier shows than is usual. The episodes featured are CALLISTO (twice), THE RECKONING, MORTAL BELOVED, CALLISTO (twice more),ALTARED STATES, HOOVES AND HARLOTS, IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE? and TIES THAT BIND. Oddly enough, none of the clips are taken from Season 2. Ted Raimi does a brilliant Inspector Clouseau turn as "Jacques Serre", supposedly a Free French officer but actually a shoe salesman from Hoboken, New Jersey. My favourite exchange comes when he first meets Janice: Jacques: "I could 'ave killed you in the bleen of an eye."