The King of Assassins
This one is definitely among my ten least favorite of all time!
Xena can sure get a guy to confess without a single light bulb or a cigarette! That guy was ready to tell her what color underwear his boss wore!
I guess among Xena's many skills, she's learned to recognize chicken peckings.
I love her line, "Joxer, you can barely kill time."
But at least she cares enough to rescue the doofus to rescue him.
Ted does a good job using the lowered voice for Jett.
Joxer and his spelling! "Danger…d-a-n-j-"
Autolycus tries to help Gabs get away by giving her subtle messages including "dangerous" and "go away."
Gabs was surrounded my drunken, horny half-wits? Where was she, anyway?
Hee hee. She says, "I have been grabbed more than the Golden Fleece."
Joxer is from a family of warlords, and he is the black sheep. Figures.
The same dog appears in several episodes of XWP, and it is a mean looking one!
Gabrielle seems pretty confident in knowing what Xena would do. So why does she screw up so much?
Joxer…"King Gregor was killed by a baby?" Hee!
I love the way Autolycus gets Joxer arrested, by setting him up for "fondling a lady's behind."
And Gabs will use the old "worthless husband" gag again.
Joxer really looks different, and better, in the black leather.
Autolycus certainly isn't shy about spying on a naked Cleopatra!
Heh heh, Joxer wants to know if Gabs sees a bruise on his brain.
So she checks for it. "Where does it hurt?" Thump!
Apparently, Cleopatra already has an amount of respect for Xena.
Autolycus slips right into "cool" mode, calling Cleopatra "Cleo", right off the bat.
Was Pontius a real historical figure? Was he really chief of security for Cleopatra? The only Pontius I remember was Pontius Pilate, the man who washed his hands of Jesus.
Gabrielle thumps Joxer for his traveling circus idea, then uses it. Reminds me of Xena in Daughter or Palmyra, when one of her men called for a retreat. She killed him, and then called for the retreat herself.
Somehow, Joxer really fools Gabrielle into getting into the cell.
It's hard to believe Joxer and Jett had the same parents.
But in truth, Jett didn't appear much smarter than Joxer.
Gabrielle says more than once in this episode "What would Xena do?" I have a necklace with WWXD on it, and it really works!
I always laugh at Gabrielle's attempt at throwing her makeshift chakram.
Why is she so coordinated in some episodes, but not in others?
Gabs just goes for the "cheeyah" battle cry this time, not the full blown one.
Check out this unbelievable exchange between Autolycus and Cleopatra:
A-You certainly have a lot of essence.
A-But I'm reluctant to dive right in.
A-You see, first I need to know when, where, and how often.
C-I'll let you know as soon as you make a firm offer.
C-Are you firm yet, Autolycus/
A-I dunno, I haven't seen your bottom line.
C-Let's put this deal to bed, shall we?
A-Ah…love to!
A-Any business transaction requires witnesses.
C-Kinky…
Wow, they don't mince words, do they?
Gabrielle had the right sound effect for her pinch.
But she says, 'I've just cut off the flow of blood to your limbs." It should have been 'brain.'
But you gotta give her credit…she keeps trying! "The numbness is setting in."
The guard always makes me laugh. "Nope, I seem to be fine. Don't do that!"
So Gabrielle clubs him upside the head!
Gabs finally says something nice to Joxer, "You're worth a thousand Jetts.' And he doesn't hear her! It figures!
Ted briefly gets to do the old Harpo Marx in the mirror routine.
And Jett is into giving Wet Willies…did he learn that from Xena, the wrestler?
Hey! Jett refers to his and Joxer's other brother Jace! And his hand gesture insinuates Jace is a little different. What do you know…continuity!
Jett's hoarse voice is beginning to get on my nerves.
Cleopatra is still at it with Autolycus…'You do drive a hard bargain."
Gabrielle gets to try out her Egyptian duds two seasons before she and Xena will run around in them in Antony and Cleopatra.
Was Cleopatra really attracted to Autolycus? She acted like she was.
Why did Pontius think Jett met her in a tavern?
Autolycus refers to Joxer as the "rebel without a clue." Hee hee!
And I love his making fun of Gabrielle…"I've been watching Xena…this is what Xena would do!"
Don't even try to make sense of the plot, Xena…It's impossible. Not even your many skills will help you out in finding out what's going on.
Autolycus DOES have a heart of gold.
But does he have to fall for the oldest trick in the book? And leave the sword right out in the open?
Really bad stunt double when Jett knocks Joxer over the divan.
I am really glad to see Xena come to the rescue, with a "Be nice"!
She sure dispatches of Jett in a hurry.
I wonder if that hot tub is the same one from Warrior…Princess and Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts?
Pontius almost looked like he was wearing Samurai clothing.
Way to go, Jett! It was almost nice when he saved Joxer.
Joxer sure liked it!
"Are you ever planning on coming to Egypt, Xena? If you do, send word. I'll plan a reception the world won't soon forget." Xena's expression is taken aback…Cleopatra was flirting with her!
Poor Joxer, they won't even let him have a graceful exit in this one. Oh well, you gotta love him…which is what I'll bet Xena and Gabrielle keep telling themselves.
What did Gary think of this one? This episode has way too many scenes that are funny and crazy,and I can't
list them all,but I think it is one of the wittiest XENAs ever done.
It opens with Xena bringing a thug to prison...she says she will
return,which she does not do. She sees Joxer there for petty theft,and she
pays the fine and he is loose again. She has to go somewhere in this
"Xena-light" ep.,and Gabby and Autolycus must carry the show,which they do
admirablty.
Xena,referring to Joxer's bragging of killing..."You can barely kill time."
Switch to the sword-stealing scene. The King of Thieves is working with a
guy to steal a special sword. Auto does not know that his partner is going
to murder someone with it.
An astute Gabby later reasons that the sword owner will be framed for the
murder when the sword is identified. Things go wrong and Jett,Joxer's
brother(an assassin) kills the warlord who owns the sword.
Jett:"Nobody will miss him."
At the market,Joxer happens to buy a new outfit,matching his brother's
exactly. The Mistaken Identity theme,as in so many Xena lookalikes,is
rampant here. It keeps switching back and forth,and is really well-done.
Note: This is the first time Auto meets Joxer,and he thinks he is Jett.He is
afraid of him at first until Gabby tells him the truth.
Auto reveals that someone in the palace will be killed,so Gabby,telling Auto
what "Xena would do" takes over. Auto will enter the palace,sneaking in the
sword,and then lower a rope so that Joxer and Gabby will climb inside.
Sight gags: Gabby tweaks Joxer's nose,and pulls him by his ear. Auto gets
Joxer to hold out a hand,and pushes it on a passing woman's butt,creating a
diversion. Joxer gets slapped by the guard and the woman. He is in for a lot
more of that.
Joxer is angry because his whole family is violent except himself,the Black
Sheep.(We see in Lyre-Lyre that Jace,his third triplet,is a singer,and not
violent).
Auto,referring to :"a big-shot warlord"...why will he NOT be missed,as Jett
says,if he is important in the region?
Auto,re:Joxer..."Why is he here?"
Gabby:"He knows Jett."
Auto:"No,in the grander sense,why is he here?"
Auto is in Cleopatra's room,hiding in a closet. He closes a window on the
rope,and the climbing Joxer falls. He and Gabby are then captured and put in
the dungeon.
Auto is spying on Cleo,who is getting undressed.He says"I've died and gone
to Olympus."
Note: The Good die and go to the Elysian Fields.
Gabby's hair looked great...I miss the long hair.
Pontius,Cleo's chief of security,is in on the murder plan...he hired Jett.
With Cleo gone,her brother will rule in Egypt,and the chief will get a
reward.
Auto sneezes and Cleo finds him,holding what looks like the Dagger of Helios
at his throat. He convinces her that he is working for Xena to protect Cleo.
Joxer has a bruise,and complains to Gabby in the cell. She asks,"Where does
it hurt?",and pokes him there. Joxer had been talking nonsense as usual.
In his room,Auto tips the bellboy with an apple. Jett breaks in,and Auto
thinks it is Joxer,but is soon convinced otherwise.
In prison,Gabby is alone,with Pontius thinking the man is Jett. Gabby tosses
a plate at the bars,pretending it is a Chakram.It bounces back and knocks
her out.
The double-entendres in the bath scene are Great:
Cleo is in the bath,and Auto is there talking to her with two guards present.
A:You drive a hard bargain
c:My offer is generous
A:You have a lot of assets
C:Do you have an offer that will satisfy me?
A:I don't dive right in. Just tell me when,where,and how often
C:I need a firm offer. Are you firm yet?
A:I haven't seen your bottom line
C:Let's put this to bed
A:What about witnesses?
C:Kinky
Later,a satisfied Cleo says that the deal was "consummated."
Gabby tries to put the pinch on the guard,as she tried in Ten Little
Warlords,to no effect. She says the right words,too,but the guard tells her
to "stop that." As he leaves,Gabby uses a pole from the bedframe and clobbers him,saying she doesn't like to resort to violence.
When Joxer and Jett meet,there is the usual brother-thing,with a
headlock,name-calling,insults,and the Wet Willie in his ear.
Jett;"If you saw evil,you'd have to change your pants."
Gabby is now disguised as an Egyptian hand-maiden,looking pretty
cute,complete with the eye-makeup.
Auto sees Joxer hanging by his underwear,so Auto knows that Joxer is for
real. The underwear is red and yellow...Joxer should be the King of Wedgies.
Auto and Gabby get locked up. Auto makes fun of Gabby,saying in a nasaly
voice,"This is what Xena would do.",and calls her "Princess!"
Xena arrives,and cuts the chains with the Chakram. She then releases the
pair,and they all head for Cleo's room. Auto now sticks up for Gabby saying
that her plan was a good one...Gabby later says he has a heart of gold.
In Cleo's room,Auto is fooled into telling Jett where the sword is...he
looked in the direction where is was,and Jett saw it,too.They choke up on
the sword as ball players choke up on the bat to see who is up first.
Clever.
Auto is knocked out,and Jett is going to kill Cleo.Joxer arrives and tries
to stop him,and is knocked out.Xena arrives,and fights Jett,knocking HIM
out. Gabby arrives with guards and Pontius chasing her. Now the big fight
starts. Gabby has two opponents at the bathtub,and her staff is knocking
them into the water over and over. Xena fights a pretty tough Pontius. When Pontius sees that Cleo will be safe,he tries to kill Joxer to get SOMEBODY. A thrown sword by Jett saves his brother. "Nobody hurts my brother...but ME."
Jett says he will have fun catching up with his dad in the prison. Joxer is
told to hang on to the "little blonde...she's pretty smart."
During the fight scene,Joxer is constantly pummeled by nearly everyone,and
he takes many a fall. At the end,he says "I guess you'll be looking at me a
lot differently now..."
He then falls,and Auto,Xena,and Gabby say "same-old"...etc.
This was truly enjoyable,with Ted Raimi doing a great job in a dual role.
And these are Andrew's thoughts:
Confusion abounds as Gabrielle, Joxer and Autolycus attempt to foil an assassination attempt on Queen Cleopatra, much of the confusion resulting from the fact that the assassin is Joxer's identical twin brother, Jett
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XENA AND GABRIELLE
Xena puts Joxer's martial skills in perspective with a crushing put down: "Joxer, you can barely kill time." She isn't seen again until it's necessary for her to rescue Gabrielle and Autolycus from captivity. Xena seems singularly unimpressed with Gabby's performance until the King of Thieves intervenes on her friend's behalf. I'm still trying to work out her reaction to Cleopatra's offer of "a reception the world won't soon forget" in Egypt. Is it embarrassment, or something else?
Gabrielle is not a happy bard when first seen, having just spent three hours in a tavern where she was "grabbed more times than the Golden Fleece". Previous Gabrielle centred stories featured positive character development, but one or two disturbing traits surface here. The first is her physically abusive treatment of Joxer, something which will become a feature of their relationship over the next couple of years. To her credit, however, she tells Jett (whom she mistakes for Joxer) "You are worth a thousand Jetts."
The second problem is Gabrielle's apparent inability to formulate a plan which actually works. Her attempt to enter the castle lands both Gabby and Joxer in jail, where she attempts to break out by throwing a wooden plate, chakram style, at her cell bars! I repeat, a WOODEN plate. At IRON bars. The result, while amusing, does little for the bard's intelligent image. Her futile attempts to put the "pinch" on an Egyptian guard also emphasise the gulf between Xena's abilities and her own.
On a brighter note, Gabby looks SOOOOO cute in her Egyptian disguise! The black wig really brings out the green in her eyes... Sorry, sorry, I'm rambling again..
Her plan continues to unravel. Expecting Jett to have more in mind than a "hit and run" assassination, Gabrielle is caught off balance when Autolycus gives her the facts. She informs Pontius, Cleopatra's chief of security, of the assassination attempt, little knowing that he is the brains behind the plan. This lands her in jail again, together with Autolycus, and they blame each other until Xena's timely arrival.
Gabby handles herself well in the final showdown with Pontius and his men, keeping two of the guards occupied and eventually knocking them both into Cleopatra's bathtub. Nevertheless, the use of the bard (along with her accomplices) as "comic relief" until Xena shows up to save the day is more reminiscent of Season 1's Gabrielle than the developed character we've grown used to.
GENERAL OBSERVATIONSJoxer seems to have regressed slightly to his old ways. In CALLISTO he tells Gabrielle "I like to steal", and he's first seen here in jail for chicken theft. We're also reminded that he comes from a long line of warlords when he recounts his parents' pride in his brother: "Jett stole some horses, Jett torched a village, Jett killed the neighbours".
His courage in going up against his deadly sibling is commendable, even if at one point it leaves him hanging from the wall by his underpants! By the end of the episode he doesn't even fall for Jett's "What's that?" trick, and certainly has an improved self image even if his friends still see him as a klutz.
Speaking of Jett, Ted Raimi is surprisingly effective as the barely controlled psychopath. He taunts Joxer mercilessly, reminding him that "The Ballad of Joxer the Mighty" was originally a song by their mother, mocking her "black sheep" son. Despite this he saves Joxer's life by killing the treacherous Pontius, proving the old adage that "blood is thicker than water". He accepts his prison sentence with equanimity, as he'll have a chance to see his father who's apparently in the same jail. He also advises Joxer to make the most of his new life on the right side of the law.
Autolycus is his usual materialistic self, and gives any number of excuses for not becoming involved until Gabrielle bribes him with the prospect of a big reward. He's also totally unimpressed with Joxer's attempts to mimic his behaviour, as this exchange with Gabby demonstrates:
A: "Why is he here?"
G: "He knows Jett."
A: "No, in a grander sense why is he here?"
There are some fans who ask themselves the very same question every time Joxer appears!
Auto's mutual attraction to Cleopatra gives some of the show's funniest moments, and some of the series' heaviest innuendo, with much talk of "firm offers" and "hard bargains". Gina Torres is excellent as the seductive Egyptian Queen, and her reaction to Auto's insistence that their "negotiations" have witnesses ("Kinky!") is a hoot! Cleopatra's charms distract Autolycus from the main purpose of the mission, for which Gabrielle later berates him. He nevertheless defends the bard against Xena's criticism of her plan as overly complicated, proving that he has a "heart of gold" after all!
FAMILIAR FACES
Jonathon Hendry (Pontius) played Ness, Talmadeus' lieutenant, in THE GREATER GOOD.
LITTLE PROBLEMSIsn't it an amazing coincidence that Joxer happens to buy an outfit exactly matching Jett's?
Joxer's question "King Gregor was killed by a baby?" seems out of place so soon after Goewin's death in GABRIELLE'S HOPE.
What happens to the long jacket Autolycus wears when he slips into the castle?
When Autolycus enters Cleopatra's chambers, he clearly isn't carrying the stolen sword, yet when hiding in her closet he slides it out of his trousers! Quite apart from the dangers of keeping an unsheathed sword down one's trouser leg (use your imagination!), you'd expect him to be walking pretty awkwardly the thing's nearly three feet long!
Much as I enjoyed Gina Torres' performance as Cleopatra, she's miscast for one very simple reason Cleopatra wasn't Egyptian, or any other kind of African. Like all the Ptolemaic Dynasty she was of pure Macedonian blood. Since Gabrielle is also Macedonian it might have been an idea to have Renee O'Connor play the part now THAT would have caused some confusion!
The dagger Cleopatra pulls on Autolycus is the "Dagger of Helios" from THE QUEST.
As Jett steps from behind the mirror to confront Joxer, watch his head. Although he's now at least level with the mirror, part of his head disappears behind it. This is caused by a glitch in the "blue screen" technique used to put Ted Raimi in the same scene twice.
How did Xena get into the castle? How did she know Gabrielle and Autolycus were there, and where to find them? This is symptomatic of a tendency from Season 3 onwards for it to always be Xena who saves the day, even if she appears in the episode for only 10 minutes.
Why doesn't Cleopatra call for her guards when Jett shows up? Okay, they're traitors, but she doesn't know that.
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This is a decent enough episode with some very funny moments, but it's also an early example of the series' slide towards "bonehead comedy". The main characters (Gabrielle in particular) are "dumbed down" to a certain extent, and have to be rescued by Xena in the final reel. This wouldn't have happened in Xena 2, and is symptomatic of the increasingly "Xena centric" nature of the show.
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