MARRIAGE
God has a goal for the Christian Marriage. That goal is oneness characterized by a loving, spiritual and physical bond that glorifies God and enhances personal spiritual growth. As each spouse helps the other become as much like the Lord Jesus as possible, this oneness is acheived!
The most important thing for the wife to do in order to grow to love her husband as Christ wants her to, is to take the "beam out of your own eye" (Matthew 7:3-5) The wife, as well as the husband, are to help each other grow and mature as a christian. (1 Peter 3:7)
The wife has a responsibility to work to become more like Christ. She is to be submissive to her husband in all things, unless He is sinning and then she MUST turn to God and though hard, Biblicaly reprove her husband of his sin and help to restore him to a right relationship with God.
Hmmmmmmm you are probably thinking--What do you mean by "submissive"?
Submission is not being a "doormat" for your husband. It is because God wants harmony and order in the home NOT because we are inferior in any way to our husbands. God created us to be "helpers suitable" from Adams rib--not from Adams foot--He created us from Adam's side so that we may walk along side of our husbands to help and love them.
What do I mean by "unless the husband is sinning"?----well if your husband asks you to sin in order to please him (lie, steal, cheat etc.) then you are FORBIDDEN by GOD to submit to it. And yes, it will be hard to look your husband in the eye and tell him that you can not follow his wish--but you are commanded by God to not submit to that sin. If your husband tells you to NOT speak to the children about God--then you must disobey him--(Proverbs 1:7-8)
Wives are to:
Live a godly life and respond to husband with respect
Enjoy him and love him and still be all God tends you to be
Learn to communicate Biblically (Instead of "snapping" in a harsh manner--think about what and how you will say things to your husband)
Learn to overcome evil (if your husband is being rude/etc) with good (when a husband sins, instead of dwelling on what he did, prayerfully consider how to render him a blessing)
Learn to make a biblical appeal (always ask of your husband in sweetness and respect--if he says no to your wish, never get angry and pout)
Learn to make a Biblical reproof (telling your husband that the sin he is committing is contrary to the Word of God in love and in order to restore him to fellowship)
Learn to biblically respond to foolish demands (Learn to respond to your husband in a godly way when he is being foolish with his demands)
Learn to seek godly counsel (if you must seek counsel in your situation-make sure it is with a godly woman that will help and not hinder your situation)
OK--now then, I know what you are thinking. "Yeah lady, as if I could actually follow this, my husband is a jerk and he will never change and so what makes you think I am at fault? Or that I need to submit? Or that I should change?"
Well I don't think you should change, or submit or even put up with your husband being a jerk--but GOD does!!!!
A wife has a choice here, she either chooses to love her husband in order to be in and to follow God's will, or she can choose to be a contentious wife and stir up strife! God has provided us with the tools to love our husband unconditionally--HIS SPIRIT!!! Now if He has provided us HIMSELF to love through, what right do we have to not return that Love to our husbands?
There are 5 kinds of Love that wives are to love their husbands with:
Agape Love--this is the "unconditional" love that Jesus has for us--sacrificial love.
Philandros Love---this is what people have-it is love of man, affection, tenderness, kindness, love of husband
One-flesh Love--this is a gift from God-it implies and grows out of revealing yourself one to another.
Closest neighbor Love---Who is your closest neighbor?--Your husband!
Manifestation of God's Grace---This is a Divine favor bestowed upon us enabling us to live the christian life
A wife is to put God first, then Husband---she is to put them before herself!! If a wife is bitter toward her husband for past hurts, that bitterness is manifested through her attitude and it will hurt not only herself, but her husband, children, friends and those she comes into contact with. Ask God to forgive you for these feelings, and your husband as well. Do not dwell upon past hurts! (THAT'S a hard one isn't it??) You must pray for your husband, help him and above all--LOVE HIM!! (read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7--it will tell you what love is)
A wife is to respect her husband, her tone should always be gentle and calm. Her face should be peaceful, smiling REGARDLESS of how she feels!
SEX IN MARRIAGE
Do you know why God designed sex in marriage?--Because it is for enjoyment to enhance physical intimacy, procreation of life, closeness and oneness, companionship, to protect from temptaion, and to give great pleasure and joy between them.
A husband is to be "satisfied" with his wife at all times (Proverbs 5:18-19) This is in order to not allow him to be tempted by any one else. Neither spouse has an option to refuse the other marital relations unless it is when both are in agreement to refrain because of devotion to prayer. Guess whose responsibility it is to teach her husband how to be a good lover???? YEP---THE WIFE'S!!!!
By now I know you are saying that there is NO WAY that you can or will do what I have mentioned. But if you are seriously wishing to become a godly woman, you will.
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