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Veritas HP
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Student Life
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Common Rooms
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Wizardry Shopping
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Games/Trivia
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Humor Continued
"Mad-Eye Moody?" said George thoughtfully, spreading marmalade on his toast. "Isn't he that nutter--"
"Your father thinks very highly of Mad-Eye Moody," said Mrs. Weasley sternly.
"Yeah, well, Dad collects plugs, doesn't he?" said Fred quietly as Mrs. Weasley left the room. "Birds of a feather..."
(Professor Trelawney...) "I was saying that Saturn was surely in a position of power in the heavens at the moment of your birth...your dark hair...your mean stature...tragic losses so young in life...I think I am right in saying, my dear, that you were born in midwinter?"
"No," said Harry, "I was born in July."
Ron hastily turned his laugh into a hacking cough.
"OH NO YOU DON'T, LADDIE!"
Harry spun around. Professor Moody was limping down the marble staircase. His wand was out and it was pointing right at a pure white ferret.
"I want to fix that in my memory forever," said Ron, his closed and an uplifted expression on his face. "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."
"Excuse me, I don't like people just because they're handsome!" said Hermione indignantly.
Ron gave a loud false cough, which sounded oddly like "Lockhart!"
"Don't be prat, Neville, that's illegal," said George. "They wouldn't use the Cruciatus Curse on the champions. I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing... maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the shower, Harry."
"You're alive," she said blankly to Harry.
"There's no need to sound so disappointed," he said grimly, wiping flecks of blood and slime off his glasses.
"Oh, well...I'd just been thinking...if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet," said Myrtle, blushing silver.
(While Ron and Harry are doing their Divination homework...)
"You seem to be drowning twice," said Hermione.
"Oh, am I?" said Ron peering down at his predictions. "I'd better change one of them to getting trampled by a rampaging Hippogriff."
"Don't you think it's a bit obvious you've made these up?" said Hermione
"How dare you!" said Ron in mock outrage. "We've been working like house elves here!"
"Aaaah," said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney's mystical whisper, "when two Neptune’s appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born."
(Lavender...) "Oh Professor look! I think I found an unaspected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?"
"It is Uranus my dear." said Professor Trelawney peering down a the chart.
"Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?" said Ron.
"Well, I can certainly see why were trying to keep them alive." said Malfoy sarcastically. "Who wouldn't want pets that can burn, sting, and suck blood all at once?"
"Poor old Snuffles," said Ron, breathing deeply. "He must really like you, Harry... imagine having to live off rats."
"Don't tell your mother you've been gambling," Mr. Weasley implored Fred and George as they all made their way slowly down the purple-carpeted stairs. "Don't worry, Dad," said Fred gleefully, "we've got big plans for this money. We don't want it confiscated." Mr. Weasley looked for a moment as though he was going to ask what these big plans were, but seemed to decide, upon reflection, that he didn't want to know.
"Enjoying it?" said Ron darkly. "I don't reckon he'd come home if Dad didn't make him. He's obsessed. Just don't get him onto the subject of his boss. According to Mr. Crouch...as I was saying to Mr. Crouch...Mr. Crouch is of the opinion...Mr. Crouch was telling me... They'll be announcing their engagement any day now."
Dudley had done the thing he was threatening to do since age three: He had become wider than he was tall.
Ron was staring at Pettigrew with the utmost revulsion.
"I let you sleep in my bed!" he said.
"Sure you can manage that broom, Potter?" said a cold, drawling voice.
Draco Malfoy had arrived for a closer look, Crabbe and Goyle right behind him.
"Yeah, reckon so," said Harry casually.
"Got plenty of special features, hasn't it? said Malfoy, eyes glittering maliciously. "Shame it doesn't come with a parachute--in case you get too near a Dementor."
Crabbe and Goyle sniggered.
"Pity you can't attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy," said Harry. "Then it could catch the Snitch for you."
"Well...when we were in our first year, Harry--young, carefree, and innocent--"
Harry snorted. He doubted whether Fred and George had ever been innocent.
"You don't know how bizarre it is to see Goyle thinking."
~Ron Weasley as Crabbe~
Why," demanded Ron, seizing her schedule, "have you outlined all Lockhart's lessons in little hearts?"
"A study of Hogwarts prefects and their later careers," Ron read aloud off the back cover. "That sounds fascinating."
"Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She - err got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about winning the Cup than I do about staying alive. Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch first."
~Oliver Wood~
"You know what Harry? If he doesn't stop trying to save your life he's going to kill you"
~Ron talking about Dobby to Harry~
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