WWF Jakked/Metal Report for 02/24/01
Hello everyone and welcome back to the Office of Journalistic Excellence! I am The Commissioner and THIS is the RajahWWF.com Jakked/Metal report for this No Way Out weekend. Let's get started.
Alongside the doctor of style ((c) Slick) Tom Prichard, Kevin Kelly welcomes us to the show and sends it up to ring announcer Howard Finkel for our first match-up.
Perry Saturn w/Terri vs. James Grizzley
-Terri blows the kisses before the match. Grizzley tries to work the basics at the start, but Saturn beats him down in the corner. Grizzley comes back with a gut-wrench suplex for two from referee Jack Doen, but Perry soon sends him to the outside. Terri dances with referee Doen while Saturn tosses Grizzley into the ring steps. Back inside, Saturn comes off the top with a flying clothesline and then adds the brain buster. Saturn slows it down with a submission move and then hooks in a twisting fisherman's suplex, but Grizzley gets his foot on the rope at two. Grizzley tries to come back with a sloppy flapjack and then goes to the top for the cross body block. 1-2-kickout by Saturn. From there, Saturn regains command and finishes Grizzley with the Death Valley Driver (I'm not calling it by the other name, sorry) for the 1-2-3.
-HERE is YOUR Winner: Perry Saturn
Kelly throws to The Coach, who hypes No Way Out and a subsequent RAW date. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley then cuts a taped promo on...who else? Trish Stratus.
Commercial
WWF Slam of the Week: Through the use of the side of a limo and some horse manure, Trish makes Stephanie her bitch on Smackdown.
K-Kwik vs. Derek Stone
-Stone starts quickly, but Kwik surges back with an arm drag that sends to the outside. Kwik planchas down onto Stone and then flips him back inside. Kwik gets a near fall from referee Mike Sparks and then slows it down with an armbar. Stone chokes Kwik in the corner and then awkwardly imitates Kwik dance moves, only to suffer a missile dropkick for his trouble. From there, an enraged K-Kwik scores a series of near falls and then puts Stone away with a boot to his doughy jobber belly and The Hat Rack Crack for the easy pin.
-HERE is YOUR Winner: K-Kwik
Commercial
Kelly and Prichard introduce a highlights package profiling the D-Von Dudley/Undertaker/Christian Triple Threat Match from this past Monday's RAW is WAR. Clips of the Edge & Christian parking lot set-up of The Dudleyz and Undertaker & Kane follow. Needless to say, these three teams will meet in a Triple Threat Tag Team Table Match for the WWF Tag Team Titles at No Way Out.
Commercial
Kai En Tai vs. Matt Murphy & Steve Fender
-Taka tells the jobbers to prepare to die and Funaki punctuates with the "IN-DEEEED." Funaki and Fender start things off and the jobber gets the best of Funaki with a dropkick. Murphy and Taka tag in and Matt gets a two count from referee Dancin' Chad Patton. The jobbers use quick tags to keep control of Taka until Michinoku comes back with a spinning heel kick and his point blank range dropkick. Funaki tags in and maintains the advantage over Murphy with a face plant. Taka returns and chops Murphy into the corner before falling victim to a sunset flip. 1-2-kickout by Taka. Murphy manages a powerbomb and both men are down. Both men tag and Fender actually cleans house for a little while until Kai En Tai corral him and Taka finishes his night after the Michinoku Driver.
-HERE are YOUR Winners: Kai En Tai
Commercial
Kelly and Prichard introduce a highlights package chronicling the last week of build-up toward the Stone Cold Steve Austin/Triple H Two-Out-Of-Three Falls Match for No Way Out. Austin's RAW Stunner to Stephanie and The Game's Smackdown Pedigree on JR are both profiled.
Commercial
Test vs. Essa Rios
-Apparently Test is ducking Essa, as this is a non-title affair. Test tosses Essa into the corner at the start and then beals him out. Test follows with a reverse elbow and Essa bails out. Essa returns and Test goes for the pump handle slam, but Essa counters with reverse elbows. Essa drives the elbow into Test's knee and then goes upstairs, but Test catches him and slams him down. Essa back flips out of the corner and scores a dropkick to the knee, but Test counters with a powerbomb. Test adds a tilt-a whirl side slam for a near fall from referee Jim Cordares and then, after countering another Essa attempt from the top, puts Rios away with a successful pump handle slam.
-HERE is YOUR Winner: Test
Kelly throws to The Coach, who hypes No Way Out and The Rock cuts a typically self-aggrandizing taped promo.
Commercial
Kelly and Prichard return for some final shilling for No Way Out (and the live edition of Sunday Night Heat that will preceed it) and that, as they say, is that. I'll see you all back here tomorrow exactly one hour before the PPV for the Sunday Night Heat report.
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