4/3/99

Somebody rescued the flip-flop. Ahhh, it was fun while it lasted.

My name is Betsy, and I am a packrat. That's right. I've hidden it as long as I can. I have too much shit. I move every year, and every year there are more and more boxes that I never unpack. The time has come for me to purge.

This morning I went through most of my clothes, sorting them into piles of must-keep, must-toss, and maybe. Then I shifted most of the "maybes" into the "must-toss." Then I checked out my "must-keeps" for things that I only keep for sentimental value--home-made stuff or gifts. Some of the gifts might have snuck into the toss pile, but I'm a sucker for sentimental value. Also for things that "might one day be useful, so I better keep them just in case." I have a million un-begun projects that I'm preparing for. Like the quilt I want to make out of old flannel shirts. I was one of those flannel-shirt-types back in high school/early college. I've got the makings of a great quilt. But the makings take up a lot of space.

I always seem to save lots of "work out" clothes. The grubby ones. The old college t-shirts. Is this just an excuse? I didn't even go to most of those colleges. The shirts were fairly passe until now. But will my t-shirts from various Michigan colleges suddenly be totally cool when I get to GA? I'll bet they will.... Be that as it may, I did toss one shirt from my undergrad. It was slimy and stained...I seem to remember cleaning up a homebrew spill with it once.

This year's tossing incentive was very effective. Besides the fact that I'm seriously moving this time, like, for real moving, I've also lost quite a bit of weight. I kept looking at these clothes that used to fit me and thinking, "hmm...those pants are cool now, they're super-baggy...awesome...." and then I'd think, "why did I lose 40 pounds if I'm just going to wear super-baggy pants?" The baggy pants were tossed.

***When I say "tossed" I mean they were in the "toss" pile. The toss pile was later shoved into a box and set in the middle of the kitchen to go to GoodWill when I get a chance to drive down there. I wouldn't actually toss anything, not even the holey sweater I've been abusing since my sophomore year of high school.***

***wait. I did throw out some unmatched socks (can you believe I saved those to begin with?) And I threw away a skirt I loved, it has holes in it now that are beyond repair. Off and on all day I considered rescuing it from the trash. Finally I dumped the water from the steamer into the can after I steamed some broccoli for dinner. Good-bye, red skirt! I'll salute Target for you next time I pass....***

Today was the first time anyone has mentioned the fact that I've shrunk. Besides John, nobody has said a word. And John sees me naked, so he doesn't count. I went into the old store today to drop off some canned goods in the food bank (cleaned out the cupboard of all that on-sale shit that I'll never eat) and one of my co-workers there asked if I'd lost 15 pounds or so. Well, yeah--or so. It was even a little uncomfortable, as she's a staunch advocate of the full-figure. She looked at me like I'd let her down. I actually made excuses for the fact that I've lost weight. I said I had less stress since I left that job. I said it was more noticeable because I was wearing platform shoes. Why do I do that? I know what I want my body to look like.