asshole kid

5/10/99

My sixth grader with Asperger's was an asshole today. Showed up late, made me switch rooms so that another student wouldn't be able to hear him, and then the battle of wills began.

This kid does not like to play pieces on his trombone unless he knows them already. Doesn't matter what I ask him to play, he won't hear me and continues to flip-flip-flip through his book until he finds something he wants to play. I understand this; he can't help it. His brain will not allow him to hear what I'm saying while he's doing something else. And I've learned to let him do what he wants--since he does what he wants anyway.

So he's flip-flip-flipping through his book for a piece he thinks he heard a classmate playing, and he comes across a tune called "Bugle Call"--basically, it's the little bugle snippet found in the tune "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy." He didn't know that; he thought it might be the yippee-ki-yi something-or-other that he was looking for. So he wanted me to play it for him to show him what it sounds like.

I refused. I always refuse. I insist that my kids play the tunes themselves--it's one of my nitpickiest rules. I'll help them with the pieces, I'll correct them if they're wrong, but they won't learn to read music if someone's always showing them what things sound like before they try for themselves.

I've done this with him before, but for some reason, he got very pissed off at me today. We were sitting in his band room, arguing. For reals. This one's very stubborn (and I am very stubborn) and he has poor judgement when it comes to others' feelings. He wanted me to play. I would not play. I wanted him to play, he screamed. He flushed. He teared. He kept assuring me that he was not joking.

I remembered that last week his parents wigged out over the Littleton, CO thing and took away all his violent video games. They must have had some reason to do that, right? I became uneasy.

He screamed at me. I have never been so unyielding with one of my students. I stood my ground and I kept my cool, which only made him even more irrational.

And then he told me that if I were "a real teacher" he would do what I said, but he was not going to be bossed around by "a college student, so PLAY IT NOW."

We sat in silence for a few moments. After a few more cajoling attempts on his part, my next student entered and I quietly told Asshole Kid that he was wasting his own time by asking me to play music that he could have easily played by himself. When he started to come around a bit (and God only knows if he really would have played) it was 4:30 and I sent him straight out the door. I think I heard a parting sniffle.

As he bolted for his mother's waiting car I poked my head out the door and called, "See you next week!" I seriously wonder if that little fuck will have the balls to show up next week. Mom will make him come, I'm sure. I'm not looking forward to it.

Well, other than that it was a great day--all my kids made progress, most of them showed up, even. Had a long talk with the mother of one kid who's been made into a scapegoat by the band director. Mother told off the band director--yay! She has more guts than me. I take out my frustration on the poor kids, apparently.

In other news....

In the advanced degree ceremony on Friday night, I was the last person to cross the stage. Dead last. Over an hour of master's degree graduates, the music students were at the very end, and I was the last person in the last row. I stepped up to the ramp and the professor designated to straighten my hood whispered, "This'll be something to tell your grandkids!" As they read my name, the entire arena cheered. Everyone loved me! Woo-fucking-hoo.