chick shit

5/11/99

I'm having these urges to look good when I see John this weekend. That's so weird for me. God, John's the guy who doesn't care what I look like or what I wear. That might be why I sorta want to impress him now--because he'd be just as happy if I showed up in my mismatched plaid pajamas.

So tomorrow I'm going shopping. The one thing he's always wanted me to buy is hot underwear. Not thongs or, you know, useless lacy bits or anything. But when we first started dating, I was working at JCPenney and I had quite a collection of satiny bras and silky panties. As that stuff aged and got tossed, I replaced it with flowery cotton stuff, flannel on a fancy day. Don't ask me why.

He misses the days when I pampered myself more. Perhaps because he doesn't want to? Ha. I don't know. Maybe he likes to know I'm happy.

So. Underwear. Thinking about buying body lotion, but then again, John gave me some just last Christmas and I think he likes that one just fine. He accidentally (he swears it was an accident) chose a scent that one of his favorite dancers at "the club" used to wear. The first time I tried out this perfectly innocent gift he got a huge, throbbing erection.

Not altogether a bad thing....

I put in my contacts this afternoon, for the first time in months and months. I sorta took time off with the contacts--my eyes were strained and tired. My reasoning for putting them in today was that if I was going to drive to Milwaukee, I needed to be able to wear sunglasses. Even though I already put the train ticket on my Visa. Obviously, my brain is somewhere else right now.

So with the contacts everything has been totally psychedelic today. So much clearer than my scratched up glasses, and contacts distort vision the first time you wear them, anyway. And the periphery! I experienced vertigo while standing on a chair in my office.

Enough about my girly shit. (I was even thinking about getting my hair cut before I left.) Enough!

One of my students told me that she doesn't want to wake up tomorrow. Now, this was clearly a dramatic angst thing, but it still concerns me when a student throws these types of statements about with no discretion or pretext. I stalled her for about 20 minutes after her lesson and she explained that she has an orthodontist appointment tomorrow and her teeth hurt when it's over. She was really upset about this. And it seemed like it was the first time anyone had let her rant about her braces. Boy, did she rant.

Oh, yeah--I remembered why I wanted to look good this weekend. I have to meet J's new friends, including some chick named Christa, whose name comes up every time he calls. I couldn't care less whether he hooks up with some chick, but hell, she's going to care about me. Every time he lists the people he's gone out with in the evening, it's a bunch of guys and Christa. Sounds like a one-of-the-guys chick to me. Screw that. That's my role. Nothing hampers one-of-the-guys like an extra woman.