The Beacon of Truth

7/30/99

Some call it the Holy Grail. Others simply call it, “H-h-h-hot Doughnuts....”

John bought me a Krispy Kreme doughnut on the morning of the day we got married. I thought, yeah. Good doughnuts. Kind of like squishing my teeth around in a paste of sugar, but yummy.

The Krispy Kreme store in Macon has one of those big signs in the windows that says “HOT DOUGHNUTS.” I thought, okay. We’ll stop there some day.

Today we went to Macon to see the Blair Witch Project, but it was sold out, so we took a longer way home and went right by Krispy Kreme. The beacon was lit. We were drawn in like bugs to a zapper. I was riveted to the glass partition, through which I could see hundreds of glazed doughnuts tripping out of the oven and up a giant cooling ramp. We asked the woman at the counter for two hot doughnuts, and she walked to the ramp and tonged two doughnuts right into our box.

We were dumbfounded. The attendant laughed, as we were obviously Hot Doughnut Virgins. When we tasted these heavenly glazed rings, they sighed. And then they melted.

Ecstasy.

I caught a couple of squirrels doin’ the nasty on my balcony this afternoon. Really. I was in the bedroom and I heard these funny raspy, grunty noises from the window. I knew Julie was inside, but I went to check the balcony anyway. Just as I peeked around the blinds, I saw one squirrel, surely the male, dashing off into the shrub. The female, still in her...uh...submissive position, stared at me, paralyzed. Doh.

I know it’s totally sick-o of me, but I wish I hadn’t scared them. I felt a little guilty, yeah, but I would have enjoyed watching squirrel sex.--for a few seconds, anyway. They seemed so ashamed....

I woke up late this morning and rushed to shower, dry my hair, and dress for my “interview.” When I got there, it wasn’t the same sort of temp agency I’d worked for in Lansing; this one seemed to handle more industrial requests. I was more dressed up than the girl who handed me an application and photocopied my ID’s. In fact, I’d been afraid that my “business casual” would be a little underdressed, but this secretary was wearing jeans.

There was no interview. She took my stuff and sent me home. Apparently, they’d already filled the job that they mentioned to me yesterday. Either that or I wasn’t qualified, which I doubt.

So now I’m officially a sit-by-the-phone temp. And that’s what I did all day. What a great job.