We exchanged puzzled glances and shrugged. "That's kinda sad, but I mean she's such a bitch that I can't feel sorry for her."I giggled. "Yeah, I know."he replied and I retaliated by running the fingers on my left hand through his hair. It was soft and silky and my fingers went through it with ease. "How 'bout we go over to my house? I don't think you've seen the guys' room."he suggested; chuckling a little at that last part. "Okay." I replied and we headed off in the direction of his house.
I didn't pay much attention to the rest of the house, but when I got in the bedroom I let it all sink in. There was a nice ariy feeling, yet it was obviously a male room. It was a mess, yet the mess had a pattern. It was almost like even the litter was clean. It was extraordinary. The only poster on the wall was one of Jewel hanging beside Taylor's bed. I nearly died laughing at the sight of and old worn out cd player that looked like somebody fell on it. "What's so funny?"Taylor questioned. I couldn't answer him, so I just pointed. "Oh lord, we keep it because it was our first cd player and we don't have the heart to get rid of it."he explained. I finally stopped laughing and sat down next to Taylor on his bed. The conversation we would have right now, would be the longest we had ever had.
Ike had come over and the two of us were on our way upstairs from getting something to drink. I sat down on the bed and motioned for him to sit down next to me. "S, how do you like your room?"he questioned and gulped down some of his Coke. "I love it. It's done better than my old room, and everything in it is so...modern. I love that."I replied; meaning every word. "That's good. I had a hard time trying to do it. I'm not exactly a girl you know." he said and looked up at me.
This was the first time I had a chance to look into his eyes up close and in person. They were a nice chocolate brown color and as I looked into the, it seemed as if I was surrounded by love, happiness and warmth. It was a feeling I'd had only once before and it gave me an unimaginable rush. I yearned to kiss him, but refrained due to my brand-spanking new boyfriend.
Me and Allen were getting along great and hitting it off like never before. Although when I looked into his eyes, this feeling never came over me. I didn't know what to make of it. I was so confused that I wanted to get up and run; to where I wasn't sure of yet. Then I pictured myself at Allen's door, gently knocking and then waiting for an answer. He answered and I stood straight as a board with a stern expression painted on my face. "I don't care to see you anymore, Allen and I'm demanding a way out." I shook the thought form my head, as it was extremely proposterous. I mean, I am happy so far with Allen and I could see him a hell of a lot more than I could see Isaac, but then in the back of my head a little voice was literally screaming, "Sidney, Isaac is a better guy. He knows how to treat a girl like you." I was stubborn like always and did not listen.
He leaned over and kissed me, pulling me next to him and then leaning over me until I was on my back. He kissed me passionately and I thoroughly enjoyed it; especially the firecrackers and explosions I saw as he continued. "Allen doesn't do this to you, does he now?" the little voice shrieked. "But Sidney you already made a commitment with Allen." the other little voice scolded and shook his imaginary finger. I pushed Ike off of me and fought back the unwanted tears that formed in my eyes. "What? Was it something I did? Did I come on too strong?"he questioned frantically. "No, it's nothing you did." I replied in an unceremonious tone. "Well, what?"he continued, scooting closer to me as if in interest. "While you were gone I got a boyfriend and I made a commitment. I'm very strict about keeping commitments Isaac." I explained, finally letting those tears fall. He was about to wrap his arms around me, but instead stoop up and walked out of the room. "Ike!" I called through the streams that carresed my cheeks. He turned around, gave me a sympathetic, "I can't," look and continued on his way out.
I laid my head down on the bed and let my tears flow all at once, which I might add is a thing I haven't done in a while. I try not to cry. I like for people to know me as the stone cold rebel that has no feelings. I started being this way when I was younger. I had been through much the same things as Sky, only slightly different.
My first boyfriend died and I was tramatized. I was with him on his jet-ski when he hit a rock, we both went tumbling but I landed in the water, while he landed on the rock. We were out there all alone with no one to help and the ski was going on without us. I swam up to him and examined him. His neck was twisted and his face was down in the water. I still remember exactly what his last words were. "Oh god, Mike. Please be alright." I said and pulled him up onto the rock. He turned over and looked up at me with the most serious look he'd ever had and motioned for me to come closer. "I love you Sidney. Always remember that," he whispered in an almost inaudiblae tone and with those words he breathed his last breath. As soon as I calmed down a bit-which was many months later-I went from being like Sky is now, to being rock-hard and stone-cold. Sky will be this way someday. I can feel it. That's why me and her are so close. We both feel the same things and hurt the same ways.
I heard giggling and stumbled over to look off the balcony. I saw Sky and Tay stumbling along, laughing and having a good ol' time. The sight of the two of them laughing and giggling and just being happy brought back sweet memories of me and Mike. The same feelings were there that I have now for Ike, but back then I didn't know what they were. I do now and I was too stupid to do anything about it. I was in love for the second time in my life and let it slip through my fingers. The two of them walked into the house and stumbled up the stairs. I wanted to hurl because I was so envious because they reminded me of the good ol' days. The days when just being together was enough to make a person richer than all the money in the world could, and the days when I was happy and carefree. The days before Mike died and the days before my agony and my closing up.
I wasn't sure why I did it, but I walked over to Isaac's house and knocked on the door. "Yes."Dianna said when she opened the door. "Is Ike here? I need to speak to him."I asked, hoping to sound as anxious as I was. "Yes he is. I'm not exactly sure about how happy he is about talking to someone thought. He came in the house with a mighty big chip on his shoulder."she said and moved to let me through. I walked in and headed straight for the guys' room. Ike was hidden from view by the high retreat he was to call his bed (meaning th top bunk), but I stood on Taylor's half of the contraption and peerup up at him. "I need to talk to you. Can you come down?"I questioned, not paying very close attention to his face. He got up and climbed down, bearing his tears for the world to see.
