Beso de la Muerte (Spanish for Kiss of Death)
PART/CHAPTER: I
AUTHOR: Tracy Vettier-Chevalier
DISCLAIMER: Anita Blake and all related characters are the sole
property of Laurell K. Hamilton. No copyright infringement intended.
Don't sue. I'm broke.
SPOILERS: Everything, including Obsidian Butterfly...mentions a few
OB characters, possible Olaf appearance later on.
DISTRIBUTION: Anyone who wants it can have it.
RATING: R, strong language. Maybe higher rating in later chapters,
but I'm not good at smut, so I don't think it'll go that far.
FEEDBACK: I'll take anything, even flames.
NOTES: The name 'Besa de la muerte' is a club/bar in Alcapulco. I'm
going to try to incorporate it into the story somehow, but I'm not
sure if that'll ever happen. My stories seem to have a mind of their
own, and usually they disagree with me. Also,I wrote it in first
person, like the books...bear with me.
Chapter One:
I woke up with a pounding headache. I was happy to wake up at
all,after the night I'd just had.
Seven zombies, unusual even for me, interrogating a vampire
wannabe terrorist for the local Spook Squad, and did I mention I was
attacked by a pissed off weretiger?
Oh, yeah. Can't forget that part. That was the thing that
told me my night was going to suck in the worst possible way.
Not too uncommon for me lately, sadly.
I'd been sleeping with Sigmund for almost a full year. I only
slept with the penguin when I was really having a tough time. Now, it
was almost an every night thing. Not a good sign.
Add the fact that I'd only been home for two weeks after
killing a vampire in New Mexico that fancied himself a god, and
you've got one seriously wiped out zombie queen.
When I'd told Detective Hernando Ramirez that I needed a
vacation, I meant it. It was trying to find the time to squeeze one
in that was a problem. Between animating, being on retainer for RPIT
and the sideline of executing rogue vampires, there wasn't much
time left for important stuff like sleeping, let alone a trip to the
Bahamas.
Now, staring at the off-white ceiling of a hospital room and listening to myself breathe, I was getting the feeling that I was either going to take that vacation and recoup a little, or I'd be dead damned soon. Not a pleasant thought, but probably a true one. I've come to rely on my instincts a lot lately. It usually keeps me ass deep in danger instead of neck deep. Not a big difference, but a difference all the same.
The door to the room whooshed open and I had to fight the urge to groan. The two people I'd been avoiding for a year had just walked in,arm in arm.
Richard and Jean-Claude, arm in arm? I was suspicious already. They so seldom agreed that I knew I was in trouble when they did. Usually it meant something that I wasn't going to like. Scratch that. Something I was going to absolutely hate.
When they smiled at me, I resisted the urge to reach for a gun. I didn't have a gun, but the urge was still there. I seldom went anywhere without a weapon of some kind. Oh, hell, these days, I was traveling armed to the teeth.
They just stood there smiling. I was going to have to ask what they were up to, dammit. I hate playing twenty goddamn questions. They kept smiling, which pissed me off. Fine, they wanted to play the quiet game, I'd play along. I'd ignore both of them until they either went away, or told me what the fuck was going on. I never was a patient person when I wanted to know something, but I'd be damned if a werewolf and a vampire were going to beat me at holding out.
I stared straight up at the ceiling, counting the little dots in the tiles. I lost count and had to start over five times before one of them said anything.
"Ma petite, do we not even get a `hello'?" Jean-Claude asked,sounding amused.
He always sounded amused. At least around me. Ninety percent of the time I was around him, I had the distinct feeling that he was laughing his ass off inside. For some reason, he found me funny as hell. Don't know why.
"Quit grinning like the Cheshire cat, and maybe," I said. Jean-Claude frowned. He didn't get it. Shit. Pop-culture reference.
Richard grinned wider. He'd gotten it. "'Morning, Anita," he said.
I sighed. "Hello, Richard."
At Jean-Claude's raised eyebrow, I fought the urge to grin like they were. Four-hundred and something years old and he was hurt I hadn't said hello to him too.
"Hello to you too, Jean-Claude. Now that we've exchanged pleasantries, will one of you mind telling me why you both look like you swallowed every fucking canary in the country?" Not openly insulting, but nicely sarcastic. I could live with that. Unless I pissed one of them off.
Who was I kidding? Neither of them would kill me. Not on purpose,anyway. If one of them killed me on accident, I'd still be just as dead though. No need to think about that. No need at all. Richard elbowed Jean-Claude. I felt my eyes widen. When had they become best friends? Hell, when had they become friends? I'd never seen Richard touch Jean-Claude voluntarily, except to save all our lives.
Fuck, I'd been out of the game too long. Oh,yeah. Stay away from them for a year, and they get buddy-buddy to win you over. This was about the end of my goddamn rope.
"Someone say something before I get out of this bed and kick both your asses." I was getting pissed. The fact that they'd teamed up made it unfair. Screw unfair. I was outnumbered. That's only supposed to happen when I'm up against the bad guys, not my boyfriends. It's a rule.
"Ma petite, calm down. There is no need to be angry," Jean- Claude said, trying to sound reasonable.
That was it. I'd had about enough. "Quit bullshitting and just tell me why you're here," I paused. "And when the fuck you two decided to start getting along like bestest friends." Jean-Claude started to say something, but Richard stopped him. Hot damn. He had the vampire trained.
"Anita, we're not here to plot against you, or whatever you think it is that we're doing. You died. Again. We felt it, we came," Richard said, as if that explained everything. I glared at him. He didn't seem to mind. "As soon as you are allowed to leave this place, we are taking you on a vacation, ma petite," Jean-Claude said. I blinked at him. I hadn't felt him in my head. He couldn't have read my thoughts a few minutes before of going AWOL and letting someone else deal with all the arcane supernatural shit for a while. Maybe he just knew me well enough to know when I needed a break. Naw.
"You're taking me on a vacation? Do I have a choice?" I asked.
If they, either one of them, said no, I was going to get out of this goddamn bed and start cracking skulls. Tells you what my mental state was at that point. I usually reserved that kind of treatment for the bad guys.
What can I say? I'd had a very rough year. I wasn't real big on not being given a choice at the moment. "Of course you do. But you need the vacation. If you keep this pace up, you're going to burn yourself out. If you haven't already," Richard said.
I looked from one to the other. Both looked sincere and good enough to eat. But I'd eat my hat if they hadn't rehearsed their arguments,or at least discussed them. "And you think you have to *take* me on this vacation, because why?" I was also good at condescending. Most of the time it got me into trouble, but right now I didn't really care. I was trusting that neither of them was going to get pissed that I was being stubborn and get cranky enough to be dangerous. Stupid. Naive. True. "So you don't get yourself into trouble, ma petite," Jean-Claude said, looking serious. I wasn't sure if he was kidding or not.
"What makes you think the Master of where-ever it is you want to take me is just going to let the three of us waltz into their territory?" I asked.
"I have already spoken with the Master. He has agreed not to take action against us unless we give them some sort of provocation,"Jean-Claude was explaining. He never explained. What else had changed while I'd been hiding from them?
It took me half a second to spot another difference. Richard was wearing an outfit that reminded me of Jean-Claude. I don't mean anything flashy like lace and all that, but he was wearing skin- tight leather pants and a blood-red silk shirt. I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing.
Jean-Claude had actually toned his wardrobe down a little. He was wearing almost the exact same thing as Richard, except that his shirt was a deep, dark blue that brought out his eyes. "Where?" Seeing them dressed that similarly, the fact that they'd been grinning and arm in arm when they came in, and that they'd argued the point of the vacation with pretty much the same things I'd been thinking moments before let me know I'd been beat. Didn't mean I couldn't make them miserable for it. "Alcapulco, ma petite," Jean-Claude said. "You've got to be kidding me," I said, looking at each of them in turn.
"I can more than afford it, I assure you," Jean-Claude said. I shook my head, relieved that most of my headache was gone. It meant that the one they were about to give me wouldn't kill me.Goody.
"I'm not worried about your financial state, Jean-Claude. You own half of the fucking city. What I'm worried about is why you're suddenly being so goddamn solicitous," I told him, glad I sounded as pissed as I was. Richard took that one. "You've avoided both of us for a year, Anita."
"Are you telling me I have to make a choice on this vacation of yours?" I demanded. Oh, if I got out of this bed right now, they were going to be in world of hurt. Richard shook his head. "No, no. We missed you, Anita. That's all.No strings attached. Just come with us. We'll do whatever you want." "Anything?" I made it a question. Jean-Claude and Richard exchanged a look. They knew they were in for it now.
I was determined to make them do something they would both hate, and still be able to have fun myself. The only problem was that I didn't know of anything that both of them would hate, and I would like. I was pretty sure that most of the things that came to mind, at least one of them would enjoy. Dammit. I was going to have to think about this one. Long and hard.
"Give me a few days to decide," I said. Richard and Jean-Claude exchanged another look, almost as if they were preparing for battle, but not with each other. With me. Goody.
Jean-Claude smiled. "You have until this coming Saturday, ma petite," he said with a low bow. Richard just smiled. Then they both kissed my cheeks and left the room. I was going to have to do some fast thinking if I wanted to make them both miserable.
Why did I want them both to be miserable? Good question. Since meeting the two of them, my life has given new meaning to the word complicated. It was time to return the favor. And I was going to enjoy it. Kiss of Death: Part II