Stretching a Joke Waaaaay Too Far

Scully!!: *Tee hee* Majestic is sexy...sexy sexy sexy sexy..
Majestic™ : ya gonna give me a big head *L*
Scully!!: *LOL* Heya Uggers! Numero uno..how do you do it? *L*
ugly bloke: you have to shag chat daemon!
Scully!!: I tried that..*pout*
ugly bloke: ...and he told me you were crap!
Scully!!: Dang..and in the East Wing the Daemon raves about me *L*
ugly bloke: I wouldn't laugh if I were you, haven't you seen his medical card on the wall! *g*
Scully!!: Oo..so that's why he skips the foreplay now...
ugly bloke: excuse me, that's all he knows *lmbho*
Scully!!: Man..he sucks then *L*
ugly bloke: I only let him do that if he brushes his teeth first!
Scully!!: What bout flossing?
ugly bloke: I prefer to do that in the privacy of my own room....sorry, you said flossing, yeah, he should do that too!

Majestic™ : Awww you know you want it baby *LOL*
ugly bloke: Mary?
Majestic™ : Jesus?
ugly bloke: bastard?
Majestic™ : Mother?
ugly bloke: Bitch?
Majestic™ : Sorry, father?
(ugly bloke: no, sister's friend, twice removed uncle's great granfather's second stepson's brother.
Majestic™ : Didn't I shag you once??
ugly bloke: it had a pulse, thats all you normally worry about! *g* )
ugly bloke: priest?
Majestic™ : last rights?
ugly bloke: first left?
Majestic™ : Ones or twos??
ugly bloke: pieces of eight?
Majestic™ : Dead mans chest?
ugly bloke: bottle of rum?
Majestic™ : Yo ho ho??
ugly bloke: father christmas?
Majestic™ : Rudolf??
ugly bloke: no eye dear?
Majestic™ : 1 ear hunny??
ugly bloke: dog with no nose? (*old joke time* how does it smell.............horrid *lol*)
Majestic™ : Pussy with 1 lip??
ugly bloke: woman with a brain...........sorry, i just made that one up! *l*
Majestic™ : *lmfao* Oh that's a good way to end it *L*
ugly bloke: but I never said they could use it!

Virago: why
Tristan: That's the question of life, my friend.
ugly bloke: along with .....how much!
Ping: and "got a room?"
ugly bloke: that comes under 'where?'
Ping: then there's "right now?"
ugly bloke: then you wake up and say 'how?'
MJ~4™ with ßeer: Which brings us back to why *L*
Ping: no no no, its then "You WHAT????" and "with WHO???"

Ping: loki- kewl! drinkies?? :)
Loki: Pope Catholic?
Ping: Bear shit in the woods?
Loki: Kennedys gun shy?
Ping: Does a one legged duck swim in circles?
Loki: Do politicians Lie?
Ping: Did Ping have a shit in a rainforest?

uggers: Ok, lets get one thing right from the start.....Coors is lager, it's not beer, beer is a british drink..it's made from hops and barley, not fecking chemicals with gas in!!!!
Loki: HEAR HEAR!!!!! Coors is like shagging in a canoe! Fucking close to water!!!!
Kelly: better then that frikin horse piss you skippy's drink!! *G*
Loki: Fourex is gods own brew you heathen Kiwi reptile!!!!! This means WAR!!!!
*Loki fires a large calibre weapon with lost of electrically driven barrels at KELLY*
Kelly: i refuse to go to war with someone who has bad spelling!! :oP
Loki: Damn!
AlBi: Shouldn't that be danm?
Kelly: shhhh abli dot'n confues hmi
Loki: NO! Kiwis thing brains are a extra!
Kelly: yeah we don't THING as much as you dingos!! *L*
Loki: GOD LOVES NEW ZEALAND HE GAVE IT BOILING MUD!!!!!

Divine Link: U know what, Ping. i think i have fallen in love with u....will u marry me and buy me a new Posche??? In return i will cook n wash for you for 3 days per year.
Ping: I'm already married.
iconoclast: I've fallen in love with you too. Can I stalk you and then entrap you in some sort of elaborate game that ends with you cutting off my hands with a chainsaw thus making me fall to my death in a ravine?
Divine Link: Ping. i know u don't need me...u don't want me. But i need u ...and i want u. what should i do???
Ping: get over me...find somebody else before you drive yourself insane.....Damn, too late...
iconoclast: And then I can come back as a handless zombie who attatches hooks to the end of his arms and arrives a year later to haunt you in the all action sequel.........
A NIGHTMARE ON PINGSTREET........

umbrella: What qualifies as "Good". Are handcuffs good?
AlBi(dontsayit): Not if they've been vewy, vewy baaad handcuffs ...
umbrella: Albi>> What qualifies as "bad" handcuffs? Is it good to be bad?
AlBi(dontsayit): Well, they're not really bad so much as misunderstood *l*
umbrella: Albi>> My handcuffs have been misunderstood for many many years. I don't understand it. They were always nice to people- in a "stay right there" sort of way
AlBi(dontsayit): You know how it is. They start hanging around with the wrong handcuffs and pretty soon the are just part of a bad bunch ...
umbrella: Albi>> One bad handcuff spoils the whole damn bunch.

Girl From Mars: what ladies are natural blondes anyway. My mousy brown original colour is being supressed in the name of fashion *S*
Ping: My younger sister is a TRUE blonde...I'm a mousey blonde...*grumbles* I started out nearly white blonde... *cries*
ugly bloke: and now it's just a label on a bottle!
Ping: At least I've GOT hair to dye... :)
lil-bit-o-fluff: I'm an AlBi brown ... sometimes purple or blue
ugly bloke: I'm turning more of a RED head these days!
Ping: (noticing ugly bloke is bald) Where've you been putting it?...

butt bag: :)...ympav ayih
The Idiot Vamp: *lol* *standing upside down AGAIN* dammit... still wont work... *pout* *s*
butt bag: ..try installing a complex system of mirrors, all of which is ultimatly time-consuming and pointless...I know I did....:)
The Idiot Vamp: *g* time-consuming and pointless?? ohh, i don't think so...*s* i mean, this IS chat we're talking about... and that was NEVER time consuming and pointless... *s*
butt bag: ..oh no, absolutely NEVER...never ever....*g*
The Idiot Vamp: *lol* oh, i know... chat gives whole new meaning to life... or was that, NO meaning... or was it no LIFE... ugh... *s*
butt bag: ..delete some/all of the above sentence as applicable...:)

M¥§†iK@L 18(M): HEY JOLT. YOUR MAMA JOKES!!
YOUR MOMA SO FAT, SHE JUMPED IN THE AIR AND GOT STUCK!!
JØLT×MÅÑ™: YO' MOMMA SO FAT, HER BELT SIZE IS "EQUATOR"!...
M¥§†iK@L 18(M): YO MAMA SO FAT, SHE SAT ON HER CAT AND PUT UP A LOST SIGN IN HER NEIGHBOURHOOD!!!
JØLT×MÅÑ™: YO' MOMMA SO FAT, HER HIGH SCHOOL PICTURE HAD TO BE TOOK FROM A HELICOPTER!
D:REAM!: Your moma is so fat, if you want to fuck her you have to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot !
JØLT×MÅÑ™: OH YEH? WELL YO' MOMMA WUZ LIKE A MOPED...FUN TO RIDE UNTIL A FRIEND CAUGHT ME!...

PolythenePam: I'm happy for you, Icon...*G*
iconoclast: I'm pregnant?
AlBi: *leaving a pregnant pause*
Well, there IS something I've been meaning to tell you ...
iconoclast: How can I be pregnant? When I have cybersex I always use a modem!
whitecap: But modems can fail! Always use spermicide software back up...just to be sure.......too late this time but ..
AlBi: Ah yes, but do you roll your mouse on right?
iconoclast: No.......I have a trackerball.....
AlBi: Just the one, then?
whitecap: old war injury?
iconoclast: Nope.......I've got a second one in reserve and a sculpted joystick.....

rabid monkey: swamp donkey where from?
Boo!BYTRAP: Zoo-talk.......
£ådy Çðrdëlïå™ : "Don't feed the animals" *Giggle*
Boo!BYTRAP: So what do I do with my peanuts?
AlBi: Put 'em back in your overalls ~ you're scaring the kiddies
Boo!BYTRAP: Never take peanuts from strangers, huh?
£ådy Çðrdëlïå™ : *L*.... ummmm... no comment! *S*
Boo!BYTRAP: Want some??? You have to peel 'm yourself though.....