Sites for Xenites


I thought it was time I came out of the closet with my Xena obsession. Below is a selection of links to pages that cover every aspect of the show, including lots of downloads so you can make your 'puter a veritable shrine to the funkiest show on earth. Battle On!!


Click on the logo above to get to Tom's Xena page

The Xena and Gabrielle Information Page

use this site to brush up on your Xena knowledge

Rate-a-Xena

find out fans' fave episodes and characters, and have your say

Top Ten Lists

among other things, you can find out the top ten ways to know if you have Xena on the brain

Subtext in Xena Episodes

think you know every bit of subtext in every episode? Visit here to find out if you truly do ...

Whoosh!

it's the sound that Xena's chakram makes, and also the Journal of the International Association of Xena Studies

Mantra Mansion

sayings, quotes, and words to live by, inspired by our favourite heroes and villians

Xenaica

an online encyclopaedia of everything Xena

The Australian Xena Information Page

a collection of current Xenaverse news, with an Aussie flavour

The Poteidaia Scroll

a message board by Xenites for Xenites

Xena Limericks
I chat under the handle Argeaux with a group of people, similarly afflicted with my Xena obsession, in a little home away from home called The Poteidaia Scroll. One day, due to lack of anything else better to do, I posted an unfinished limerick on the Scroll to see what would happen. I was so impressed with the results that I ended up posting a whole lot more limericks for people to finish, as did other scrollers. I have saved the best Xena-related ones for your enjoyment.

Limericks Started By Argeaux

Completed by LittleMa:
There was a fine woman called Xena
A long time ago she was meaner
Then along came Gabs
With her rock iron abs
So now the mean one is Athena

Completed by Brian:
There was a fine woman called Xena
Who once was really quite meaner
Then along came Gabs
With her rock iron abs
So now she's given up weiner!

Completed by Madam X:
There was a fine woman called Xena
A long time ago she was meaner
Then along came Gabs
With her rock iron abs
and since then she has been cleaner

Completed (and extended) by val:
There was a fine woman called Xena
A long time ago she was meaner
Then along came Gabs
With her rock iron abs
that when Xena saw, she turned greener
Now the two...they travel with Argo
and sometimes Joxer the psycho
gabby's busy taking notes
or with an occasional redcoat

Completed (and extended) by Andie:
There was a fine woman called Xena
A long time ago she was meaner
Then along came Gabs
with her rock iron abs
And her life made a turn on a dinar.
Gabs showed her the error of her ways
And vowed to spend all of her days
Helping her friend
To make amends
With a love that kept them ablaze.

Completed by lorien:
There was a fine woman called Xena
A long time ago she was meaner
Then along came Gabs
with her rock iron abs
now Xena is much more serene-a.

Completed (and extended) by val:
When Xena fights Draco, the warlord
She is quick to pull out her sword
They fight and they fight
Well into the night
When suddenly who appears, but Discord!
She tells them "stop fighting!
It's not too exciting!
to watch you two at it all day!
Come now let's nab
some dinner with Gab
before she eats all the buffet!"

ANOTHER one completed (and extended) by val:
When Xena fights Draco, the warlord
She is quick to pull out her sword
They fight and they fight
Well into the night
leaving gabby completely ignored.
Soon Argo was pissed
from being dismissed
so the two began to conspire
"Xena, you stop right away
your annoying swoardplay
or there won't be 3 at the campfire!"

Completed by li'l tiki:
When Xena fights Draco, the warlord
She is quick to pull out her sword
They fight and they fight
Well into the night
Then go out for a beer when they're bored.

Completed (and extended) by LittleMa:
When Xena fights Draco, the warlord
She is quick to pull out her sword
They fight and they fight
Well into the night
And than along came a horde
Of which they wanted Gabrielle
Cause they thought her the belle
But stopping them was Joxer
Thinking he was a boxer
Now they're all in hell

Completed by LittleMa:
There was a fine horsie called Argo
Who carried a big load of cargo
From food to a staff
And a big bag of chaff
From Greece all the way to Fargo.

Completed (and extended) by False Hope:
There was a fine horsie called Argo
Who carried a big load of cargo
From food to a staff
And a big bag of chaff
As she traveled all the way to Keylargo
Montego
Baby why don't we go?
To the cocamo
We'll get there fast and then take it slow

Completed by val:
There was a fine horsie called Argo
Who carried a big load of cargo
From food to a staff
And a big bag of chaff
And where Xena went she would follow

Completed (and extended) by Roberto:
There was a fine horsie called Argo
Who carried a big load of cargo
From food to a staff
And a big bag of chaff
Even a pregnant warrior was part of her cargo!
"My feet are swollen", she cried,
To which her partner replied:
"At least you're feet haven't touched Joxer's uh-oh!"

Completed by Aeroe:
Hooves and harlots on the run
Looks like they will have some fun
Fighting warlords
Waving their swords
With thong underwear showing their bun-bun

Completed by xenacrazed:
Hooves and harlots on the run
Looks like they will have some fun
Fighting warlords
Waving their swords
...and when they are done
to their huts they will run
time for shagedelic rewards!
Yeah, bay-bee, YEAH!

Completed by val:
Hooves and harlots on the run
Looks like they will have some fun
Fighting warlords
Waving swords
led by Phantes and Xenan

Completed by False Hope:
Hooves and harlots on the run
Looks like they will have some fun
Fighting warlords
Waving swords
Gabby can't fight cuz she just had her nails done.

Completed by Alti's Disiple:
Hooves and Harlots on the run
Looks like they will have some fun
Fighting warlords
Waving their swords
But pretty soon their bored with war
Fightings over time for play
Amazons with hooves nine months away

Completed by li'l tiki:
Hooves and harlots on the run
Looks like they will have some fun
Fighting warlords
Waving their swords
At least they didn't invent the gun?

Completed by jojoba:
Hooves and harlots on the run
Looks like they will have some fun
Fighting warlords
Waving their swords
they are really classy broads.

Completed by Shane:
Hooves and harlots on the run
Looks like they will have some fun
Fighting warlords
Waving their swords
To hell with the swords give me a gun....

Completed by ... ME! (Argo):
Gabby knew that her fighting must cease
When she spoke to a man, full of peace
His name was Eli
He looked straight in her eye
And said "Keep me away from gabris"
(just joking!)

Completed (and extended) by xenacrazed:
Gabby knew that her fighting must cease
When she spoke to a man, full of peace
His name was Eli
He looked straight in her eye
Started singing this lullaby -
"Wise men say, only foooools fall in love
But i can't help falling in looove with you..."
Th'nk ya v'ry much now all I can say
Gabby, I did it my waaaaaaaaayyyyyy!
**Eli, Elvis, it's all showbiz anyhoots**

Completed by val:
Gabby knew that her fighting must cease
When she spoke to a man, full of peace
His name was Eli
He looked straight in her eye
and said "take all of your hate and release."
oh wait...that was Aiden

Completed by False Hope:
Gabby knew that her fighting must cease
When she spoke to a man, full of peace
His name was Eli
He looked straight in her eye
And said, now take your staff and shove it up my butt crease
at least that's what I wanted her to do!

Completed by li'l tiki:
Gabby knew that her fighting must cease
When she spoke to a man, full of peace
His name was Eli
He looked straight in her eye
And said "You're drunk, now hand me the keys!"
~OR~
And said,"Hey Sexy, come give me a piece"
hehehehehehe......

Completed by Buck:
Gabby knew that her fighting must cease
When she spoke to a man, full of peace
His name was Eli
He looked straight in her eye
an eye that had bewitched the whole of Greece.

Completed by False Hope:
Lao Ma was a woman of Chin
Who kept all her knowledge within
'Til she wrote in a book
So that all could now look
And see what we can make for din din.

ANOTHER one completed by False Hope:
Lao Ma was a woman of Chin
Who kept all her knowledge within
'Til she wrote in a book
So that all could now look
How going without xena is a sin

Completed by Brucy Braless:
Lao Ma was a woman of Chin
Who kept all her knowledge within
'Til she wrote in a book
So that all could now look
And catch her and Xena in Sin...

Completed (and extended) by Andie, final line provided by False Hope:
Lao Ma was a woman of Chin
Who kept all her knowledge within
'Til she wrote a in a book
So that all could now look
At how love, any war, it can win.
Xena learned a great lesson that day
That following the "Warrior Way"
Won't always demand
She take sword in hand
Instead, Gabrielle will make them pay

This limerick was a HUGE joint effort between Andie, me (Argo), False Hope, xenacrazed, Xenan and gabris:
Lao Ma was a woman of Chin
Who kept all her knowledge within
'Til she wrote a in a book
So that all could now look
At how love, any war, it can win.
Xena learned a great lesson that day
That following the "Warrior Way"
Won't always demand
She take sword in hand
Or choose dangerous dice games to play
Instead, she can grab Lao and fly
And while both of them float to the sky
They can drop all disguise
Telling truth, and not lies
Cuz if they do lie they must stick a needle in their eye.
All of these limericks makes one tired
Must drink more eggnog for my head to get wired
A toast to us three
as we drink eggnog, uh I mean tea
This must end now, as I'm not inspired.
Yes this thread it still survives
Like a cat it has nine lives
will it live on
to see the next dawn
or terminate with its wordless cries
Drop to the carpet! Dive! she said
Sheesh! there were knives being tossed at her head
She grabbed her Gabby pokers
said, "listen here, jokers
Xena's my woman, drop dead..... no, I'll kick you ass, nuf said"

Completed by li'l tiki:
Caesar was ruler of Rome
But he wanted a much bigger home
So he conquered all Gaul
And then started a brawl
And drowned in a sea filled with foam...

Completed by darix:
Caesar was ruler of Rome
But he wanted a much bigger home
So he conquered all Gaul
And then started a brawl
and Gab wrote it down in her tome.

Completed by AmazonWPT:
Caesar was ruler of Rome
But he wanted a much bigger home
So he conquered all Gaul
And then started a brawl
Then might xena came along
And made him bawl

Completed by tiki: piccolo no miko:
Caesar was ruler of Rome
But he wanted a much bigger home
So he conquered all Gaul
And then started a brawl
Then he lost the whole thing to a GNOME.

Completed by Shane:
Caesar was ruler of Rome
But he wanted a much bigger home
So he conquered all Gaul
And then started a brawl
When was stabbed in the back by a cron..y

Completed by xenacrazed:
Caesar was ruler of Rome
But he wanted a much bigger home
So he conquered all Gaul
And then started a brawl
cause a Gaul had the gall to steal his comb!
(and the Gaul's name was Jerome!)

Completed by Rob:
Caesar was ruler of Rome
But he wanted a much bigger home
So he conquered all Gaul
And then started a brawl
He died, then had no where to roam!

Completed by Padme Amidala Naberrie:
Najara was sweetness and light
But was also as high as a kite
A psychotic femme
Who was quick to condemn
Every rival for Gabby in sight?

Completed (and extended) by val:
Najara was sweetness and light
But was also as high as a kite
A psychotic femme
Who was quick to condemn
Even Xena could she outfight.
The battle was fought over "truth"
Poor Xena lost a good tooth
Gab didn't question the djinn
To Xena's chagrin
And followed her, showing her youth.

Completed by False Hope:
Najara was sweetness and light
But was also as high as a kite
A psychotic femme
Who was quick to condemn
Anyone who called her a nut during a fight.

Limericks Started By gabris

Completed (and extended) by me (Argeaux), last line by gabris:
Though Xena is on break
The stories we can't forsake
Though sub-text is forgot
The stories are not
And neither is Gabby's heart ache
For the Warrior Princess one
With whom she shares some bath fun
But she feels like a dope
When she can't find the soap
Once she searches she finds Xenas bun.....oh, bad keyboard, bad, bad

Completed by Rob:
There was a young beauty named Gabs,
who had just the best looking Abs.
her soulmate was awesome,
she'd kick butt and then some
It's too bad she's not up for grabs!

Completed by xenacrazed:
There was a young beauty named Gabs,
who had just the best looking Abs
her soulmate was awesome,
she'd kick butt and then some
of their adventures she always blabs

Completed by evil tiki:
There was a young beauty named Gabs,
who had just the best looking Abs.
her soulmate was awesome,
she'd kick butt and then some
Unfortunately she got the crabs...
moohaha

Completed by me (Argo):
There was a young beauty named Gabs,
who had just the best looking Abs.
her soulmate was awesome,
she'd kick butt and then some
BUT she wouldn't help scratch Gabby's scabs

Limerick Started By li'l tiki

Completed by me (Argo):
The scroller Argo has many skills,
One of which is getting cheap thrills,
She's the ultimate freak,
Who loves taking a peek
When Ares starts wearing those frills
(Oooooer ~ betcha didn't know THAT'S what the dark guy has on under all his leather!)

Limericks Started By xenacrazed

Completed by False Hope:
Joxer on a hurried quest
In Meg's arms he would rest,
but it wouldn't come true
poor Meg has the flu
Now he will have to settle for lila's chest

Completed by Argoes:
Joxer on a hurried quest
In Meg's arms he would rest,
but it wouldn't come true
poor Meg has the flu
And there's vomit all over her breast!



Oh yeah, if you've made it this far here's a pic of me, in Argo mode: