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Airdate:November 24,1998,8/9 central
Dear Felicity,
I planned on spending Thanksgiving by myself this year. I thought it would be too hard to try and celebrate the holiday with new friends in this new place.....but then Emmitt and a bunch of friends from work showed up at my place with all this food. It's incredible, really, one minute your standing in this new city with nothing but your suitcase and then you look around and suddenly, you realize you're surrounded by family.
Airdate:November 17,1998,8/9 central
Dear Felicity,
It's amazing how we blame ourselves. You know when John died, I blamed myself. Certain, that somehow, cosmically, I'd caused that accident.
It's probably just human nature to try and make sense of things. Random things. I think the scariest part is realzing that sometimes just bad things happen... .
: ...no reason, no purpose. They just occur and we're left to pick up the pieces. I guess that's what we're all doing all the time, just picking up the pieces the best we can.
Airdate:October28,1998,8/9 central
Dear Felicity,
I've spent the last couple of night in the desert by myself. Emmitt and I were sort of going too fast, so getting away just helps clear my head.
It's interesting what you did for Ben. I mean, you have this expectations for who he is, for what you want him to be. That's just normal. I have those same expectations for Emmitt, which I know is unfair. He isn't perfect, he isn't John.
Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem. It has this sensual question: "Is it harder to count on someone or to know that you're the one being counted upon"?
Anyway, there's this part that goes: "If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me". Have you ever read that one? It's one of my favorites.
Airdate:October 21, 8/9 central
Dear Felicity,
It's funny, your crisis with Noel is how John and I got together. We met at a garage.
I was getting my car smog checked, and he was getting some part for his motorcycle. We became friends. And a few months later, we were at dinner at a restaurant, and to my complete shock, John leaned across the table and kissed me.
I'm just saying, you know, you can't know, who that person is, the person who will become your ultimate confidant, your soulmate, or your lover.
He maybe that guy you had your eye on for years, or he might be that guy standing next to you in torn jeans buying some part of his motorcycle.
Whoever it is, he starts off as a stranger, so....could be anyone. Since John, I think about that quite a bit.
Airdate:October 13, 8/9 central
Dear Felicity,
Ok. brace yourself. A guy asked me out. He's a teacher at the elementary school. His name's Emmitt, for God sakes. But I said no for now. I'm still not ready to move past John. It's sort of like what you were saying on your last tape. How, on one hand, expectations can inspire you, but then again, they can really let you down. I'm just not ready to be let down quite yet. But you know me...I still have hope....that one day....maybe even pretty soon...I'll take a chance again, in the horrible face of expectation, and maybe it'll even be worth it.
PILOT
Airdate:September 29 1998 9/8 central & October 1 9/8 central
Dear Felicity,
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. It's been a real struggle in Santa Fe. I guess when your hearts been broken you sorta start to see the cracks in everything. I'm convinced the tradgedy wants to harden us and our mission is to never let it.
Two weeks ago I was going to move again. I was all packed I was going to start all over somewhere new. That morning I received your first tape from college. I just sat ther in my little apartment listening to your voice. Crying like a baby. Suddenly you were tutoring me.
I guess I' m learning little by little that we decide what our lives are going to be. Things happen to us but it;s our reactions that matter.
I just want you to know I think you've made a really great choice and I can't wait to see what happens.
