It's been 5 months now, since I met my biological mother and my twin brother Justin. I met my biological father shortly after that. Justin asked me to join him on his tour as his personal-assistant and of course I took the opportunity immediately. I quit my job at the radio station and went on tour with Justin and his, and my, mom for 2 months. It were two fun, but busy months and I got to know both Justin and Lynn quite well. Randy stopped by now and then, but never long enough to really get to know him.

After that two months we had a one week break and Justin offered to let me stay at his house in Orlando. I did and after a already 3 Justin came with the proposal that I live with him permanently. At first I resisted his proposal, because I didn't want to invade his privacy or anything like that. I mean, I heard him talking about girls with his best buddy Trace and well, I don't want to keep him from getting girlfriends because he lives with his sister.

I need time (time)

Love (love)

Joy (joy)

I need space

I need me

(Action!)

I didn't tell him that at first, but he kept bringing the subject up at dinner and finally I told him the girlfriend thing. He said that he didn't care and that if he got a girlfriend who would mind the fact that he lived with his sister, the girl wasn't worth going out with.

So, I gave in and gave up my apartment in L.A. I now legally live with Justin, but haven’t really been at his house long enough to really call it my new home.

My stuff was brought over right before the tour restarted again. Dad and Mom, Sam and Denise, called regularly and I stopped calling them Dad and Mom, which was weird at first, but I got used to it and even started to call Lynn Mom sometimes.

So, the tour started up again and I got really close with Lynn. Justin was a bit harder to get close to because he was first of all always busy and second, well, he was a guy and didn't understand me like Lynn did. We did have some ways of knowing how one another felt and what the other was thinking, because of the twin thing, but it was still harder to get closer to him.

We did get close eventually, in the third month of the tour, when I couldn't take all the stress revolving around the tour any more and more or less collapsed. I hadn't eaten well in a few days and didn't get much sleep because Chris Kirkpatrick had joined the tour for a few days. Not that I blame Chris for that. No way, Chris is a great guy and cracks me up.

Justin stayed by my side 24/7 and even cancelled a show so he could be with me. I got angry at him for that, for disappointing his fans.

Say hello to the girl that I am!

You're gonna have to see through my perspective

I need to make mistakes just to learn who I am

And I don't wanna be so damn protected

I refused to let him cancel another show and he didn't. After 2 or 3 days I was fine, but I was put on a diet. Not one to lose weight but to gain weight. I'd lost some weight by not eating much and the doctor thought it was best that I would eat a little extra from now on. I did what the doctor told me to and was back to my normal self in a week.

At the end of the third month Justin had to appear at an award show and asked me to be his date. Of course he didn't think of the consequences it could have when he asked and no one, but close relatives and friend, knew that I was his sister. The next day tabloids were full with articles about 'Justin's Mystery Girlfriend'.

Justin and I laughed about it and decided not to bother about it, but I soon got recognized as more and more pictures of me and Justin appeared on the internet and in the papers. I was stopped in the middle of the street by teenyboppers telling me to get my hands of off their man and got hate-mail from fans.

Justin and I decided to come forward with the fact that I was his twin sister, even though Lynn had first said that it was better to keep my out of the spotlight, and gave a press conference. The whole story about my adoption came forward and it became the talk of the day.

I got recognized even more and more and I started to hate the showbiz world. So much, that I dropped out of the tour for a few days. Justin begged me to come back, but I needed some time alone to get away from all of it and went to my 'home' in Orlando.

There must be another way

Cause I believe in taking chances

But who am I to say

What a girl is to do

God, I need some answers

I stayed there for 6 days when I started to realize that if I wanted to be a part of my brother's life I hade to face the media now and then. Justin had to too. It came with his job.

Denise visited and Mom dropped out of the tour for 2 days too to see if I was okay and everything. I talked with the both of them and reasoned that I had an important decision to make. To be or not to be a part of Justin's life, that is the question. I know, I know, I sound like Shakespeare, but it was the question I had to answer. If I wanted to or not.

If I did became a part of his life it would mean that I might get a celebrity status, or at least something in that direction. I would be recognized on the street, at the mall and everywhere else I would go. Well, I got recognized already, but not as much as it would be if I appear with Justin at parties and things like that.

If I didn't became a part of his life I would probably go live with Sam and Denise again and maybe visit Lynn once in a while. I would feel protected again, just like I had felt before the media knew. I would live like I did before I even knew. God, this is hard..

What am I to do with my life?

(You will find out don't worry)

How Am I supposed to know what's right?

(You just got to do it your way)

I can't help the way I feel

But my life has been so overprotected

Exposed life with brother, protected life without brother. Why was this so hard? I wanted to be with Justin, but I knew that I had to give up my privacy for that.

After those 6 days I finally made a decision and decided to go back on tour and see what it was like for the rest of the tour. If I got use to it by the end of the tour then everything would be okay and I would chose for option one. If I didn't get used to it I chose for option two.

So, the tour life continued, exactly the same as before I dropped out. Except for the fact that I , sometimes, had to sign autographs too, just like Justin. It felt weird, but good at the same time and slowly I got used to it.

We had fun the rest of the last month and I appeared at a few parties by Justin's side. I met a whole new world. A totally different kind of living. I met celebrities I never dreamt of meeting ever in my life. Michael Jackson, Madonna, Eminem and of course JC, Joey and Lance.

Rumours went round about me being a Diva, like every other celebrity, already after 1 month of being known as Justin's twin sister. They switched my words around so that it would look like I actually was one. Amazingly I didn't even care and acted like the articles were never even written.

I tell 'm what I like

What I want

And what I don't

But every time I do I stand corrected

Things that I've been told

I can't believe what I hear about the world, I realize

I'm Overprotected

As the end of the tour got closer and closer the question came back to my mind again. Again and again I asked myself if I had gotten used to the fame or not. Again and again I didn't know if I did or not.

There must be another way

Cause I believe in taking chances

But who am I to say

What a girl is to do

God, I need some answers

I laid awake for hours at night, but slept in late, which I could do and Justin couldn't, not risking the change to collapse again. I laid in my bunk or a hotel bed thinking about what I was going to do when the tour was over.

I honestly didn't know.

What am I to do with my life?

(You will find out don't worry)

How Am I supposed to know what's right?

(You just got to do it your way)

I can't help the way I feel

But my life has been so overprotected

The last show was only 2 days away and I still didn't know what I was going to do. I stayed in my hotel room most of the time and didn't watch the shows, as I usually did.

I couldn't decide this soon, was my final conclusion. I needed more time.

I need… time (love)

I need… space

(This is it, this is it)

Both Sam and Denise told me not to do it and come back, but I figured they wanted me to come back. My friends back home also said that I should just come back, but I knew I had to make the decision on my own and not just because Same, Denise and my friend back in L.A. missed me.

I don't need nobody

Tellin' me just what I wanna

What I what, what I'm gonna

Do about my destiny

I Say No, No

Nobody tell me just what, what, what I wanna do, do

I'm so fed up with people telling me to be

Someone else but me
(Action!)

What am I to do with my life?

(You will find out don't worry)

How Am I supposed to know what's right?

(You just got to do it your way)

I can't help the way I feel

But my life has been so overprotected

The tour ended and I decided to wait a month more with making my decision. Again Sam, Denise and my friends told me to just come home, but I told them I didn't know what home was yet and would tell them when I made the decision.

I don't need nobody

Tellin me just what I wanna

What I what, what I'm gonna

Do about my destiny

I Say No, No

Ain't nobody tell me just what I wanna do, do

I'm so fed up with people telling me to be

Someone else but me

The month past with the regular parties, while staying at my 'home' in Orlando. I had fun just like the last month of the tour. Justin and I were now as close as brother and sister could get and knew almost everything about our youth, which we didn't get a change to spend together.

I slowly started to see that his heart would break if I left, mine would too. I wanted to give up the protected life, but still something was pulling me back from making the final decision.

What am I to do with my life

(You will find out don't worry)

How Am I supposed to know what's right?

(You just got to do it your way)

I can't help the way I feel

Now, I'm sitting in the living room on the cozy, soft, light couch. Staring ahead of me. Justin is sitting next to me, Mom across from me on another similar couch, both staring expectantly at me.

I told I had made my final, final decision and asked Mom to come over. "I.."

But my life has been so overprotected.

"Decided to.. stay.."