Welcome ya'll to the wah-wiiild west!
*tips hat* Howdy. My name's be Mari-San and I'm the sheriff of this doggone town. *cheesy grin* Actually, this really isn't a town, but I'm sure you already knew that. ^^; But hey, I'm the webmistress so it's all good.
What I'm here to tell you is very important. *pause* Well, semi-important. *longer pause* Oh fine, it ain't that much of a whooptie-doo, but still.
In this small lil' section I'm gonna show the 'criminal masterminds' of the Digital World. *snorts* I'm sorry, but that just sounded funny. ^_^ All the criminals I'm gonna show you are 'Wanted: Dead or Alive.' But since I'm against violence, just bring em in alive but roughed up a bit. But if they already died in the series, then never mind. *sweatdrop*
So anyhoo, all of these bad Digimon have one thing in common: They've done something not-so-nice to Matt. And that's a crime punishable by any law.
Okay, enough of my blabbering. Lemme show ya the hitlist.
Gyah! Evil spawn of satan! >_<
Everybody knows this creature. This heinous, heinous creature! Oh, what he did was unforgivable. =P If you do not remember what happened, lemme tell ya. The group was camping out in this litte... trolley boxcar thing on a small peninsula. *shrugs* Then one night, Seadramon decided to pay a visit. His tail was attached to the entire block of land, and he got real upset when Tai and Agumon accidentally threw fire sparks on it. Oy. So on a rampage Seadramon goes! Darn those mood swings.
He drags the now-created-island to the middle of the lake and is about to completely ram it, when none other than Matt, who was on the other side of the lake playing his harmonica with Gabumon, jumps into the water to TK's safety. Aww.
Well, TK is saved, but Matt is not so satisfied. Hey, he helped TK, why not help out everybody? So he swims in front of Seadramon (EVIL!) trying to distract him. And Seadramon does not like this one bit at all. Gabumon attempts to help, but is flung in the air by Seadramon's tail. Whoops. ^_^; But anyhoo, back to Matt. Oh yeah, he then gets frickin' strangled by Seadramon's tail and is dragged underwater... AGAINST HIS WILL!
Nooooooooooooo!
The group watches helplessly as the life of their friend is being squeezed out of him. (Darn snake.) Oh, hear Matt's groans and cries for help... *shakes head sadly* I'm sorry girls and boys, we can't jump into the TV screen and help him. =( But then, a miraculous turn of events take place! Yay! Gabumon, seeing Matt is in serious danger, digivolves to Garurumon! Yay!
Hence the name of the episode. ^_~
So Garurumon kicks Seadramon's arse and Matt escapes safely. Sigh. What a great ending! Oh, and everyone does that freaky laugh-in-complete-unison thing when Matt calls Gabumon the 'Wolf Man.' HA HA HA!
Oh, that was a nice ending now, wasn't it?
Er... *sweatdrop* Yeah. ^_^Monzaemon trapped Matt and the others in his little hearts bubbles...
...Which could lead to suffocating!!
You could already see the signs of that. Matt looked a tad bit tipsy. (Hee hee!) But luckily, they didn't run out of air. Phew.
Um, what else did that bear do? *thinks* Oh yes. He zombified everyone and forced them to play with toys! Ack, no! Noooooooo!!!
Yeah.
But it was cute to see Matt being chased by a big train toy set... against his will.
He threatened Mimi too. And he had many fights with Togemon, that's another one. Er, that's about it. He was finally defeated and the black gear came out of his zipper. ^^; So all's well. And just for kicks, Monzaemon puts them in his heart bubbles again. *laughs cornily* Oh, silly bear!
You'd think a giant chicken wouldn't be harmless at all. I mean, look at Boo. =P
But no. This chicken is just plain rotten. First, he captures Tai and Joe's crests. GASP. He then turns Agumon and Gomamon into stone. Double gasp. His flunkie Numemon then capture Tai and Joe! Despicable. You should never ever interrupt anyone in a pool enjoying themselves. That's just plain mean.
So then Kockatrimon goes to the main dining room of his stoopid ship where Matt, Izzy, TK, and their Digimon are eating. The chicken interupts once again! Augh! How rude! And to be even ruder, he turns their Digimon into stone lawn ornaments! Ahhhh!! *runs away*
So what does he do to the boys? Did he let them go? No quite... He ties them all up to the fish nets and leaves them burning in the sun!
Noooooooo!!! >_<
You know how much harm that could do!? The ultraviolet rays from the thinning ozone layer will surge deep into their skins, causing skin cancer! And it will ruin Matt's complexion! AHHHH!!!
"But Mari-San, there is no ozone layer in the Digital World."
Yeah, whatever. *rolls eyes* So anyhoo, that's the real bad thing Kockitrimon did to the boys. Naughty naughty. *does that two finger 'you're naughty' thing* For the girls, he chased them around the ship in their underwear! Oh, now that's just plain evil. =P After a while, some Digimon digivolves and beats Kocktrimon temporarily. They all escape out of the ship, tho I don't know how. O_o
The big chicken rises up again and chases the group in the desert. Luckily, Matt gets the idea to hide behind a cactus and they are saved. Yay. ^_^ And then Kockatrimon and the ship explodes. Fried chicken!
Lemme give you the low-down on this egg gone bad. *makes retarded crossed-arms*
He first makes Joe his slave at his diner. Now isn't that bad? He has to work there for about, oh, six months! =P And Joe's doing the best he can. Poor Joe. But then Matt comes to the rescue! (Whoo-hoo!) He helps out Joe in the kitchen with his mighty cooking skills and all's well for a couple of minutes. Matt then decides to go out back by the lake. After a while, Digitamamon comes out. Bah, humbug.
Matt said that how he had to leave to retrieve his little brother. The egg digimon rambles on how Matt would be fired if he left. Matt wasn't even working there in the first place. ^^; So then he continues, saying on how many 'accidents' ocurred in the kitchen. Now that is a threat.
Now Matt can't leave at all, fearing for Joe's safety. Gyah! Darn you, Digitamamon! >_<
Okay, let's skip to the part where all the evil-ness is found out, okay? Okay. ^_^ So Tai and TK arrive, there's a happy reunion. Blah blah blah. THEN Matt is talking to the eggshell, and the eggshell gets really ticked, and then attempts ramming Matt over! O_o You should see how fast that goes! Luckily, Matt wasn't hurt since the Toei writers just KNEW they would be receiving death threats not too long afterwards. *winks*
Digitamamon then does that Power Rangers thing when the monster grows larger in size, and attacks Garurumon and Ikkakumon. Byeah.
But luckily and oh-so conveniently, the crest of friendship activates and Garurumon digivolves to WereGarurumon! Yay! And then he cracks that egg. (Ha ha ha.)
So Digitamamon is conquered, they all go happily their separate ways to find the others, and all's well. ^_~
Okay, this is the second most evil spawn of satan.
He has many, many misdemeanors. Some include breaking into peoples's homes, kidnapping, many accounts of violence, and jay-walking. Despicable creature.
But let's fet to the juicy stuff. *rubs hands together* Er, not that crime is something juicy and looked excitedly upon! It is frowned upon!
Here's one account of violence which everyone, especially Yamato fans, remember. After Sora obliviously yells out the name of the location of which she and Birdramon are headed, Phantomon casually stalks them there. (Well, that's kinda reasonable, him being all evil and all. Besides, you would too if you knew Matt was there. =P) But I'm getting off track... Oh yeah. So he follows the two there and everyone is all "Whoo!" and surprised. So the battle heats up!
Phantomon calls out two of his bookie Digimon (bookies, junkies, groupies, I forget which term it is) to battle Birdramon and Garurumon because he can't do it himself. Not very noble. >:( But Phantomon does do something during the battle. And he uses his sweet little chain to do it. Wanna know what it was? It's the chain plus Matt. Bah, how low could he get...
If you didn't catch what I was saying, Phantomon actually choked Matt with his chain. *snarl* It was wrapped around Yama's neck, and he was so desperately. Insert sad 'awwwws' here. The jerk finally lets go of Yama and disappears somewhere. Coward!
Yama is left clutching at his throbbing neck. *sniff* It made so many mad the time the episode was shown, you have no idea. O_o I found that pretty funny. ^_^ *clears throat* But that's beside the point! Choking Matt is a bad thing to do, and you just shouldn't do that! *slaps Phantomon's hand, even tho he died sometime in the series* (The 'dead' Phantomon cries out of the room) So what did we learn today? *long pause like in those morning kiddie shows* Yes, that choking is very bad. Especially if it's on Yama.
Actually, this guy isn't so bad. Let's call him a juvenile delinquent.
What did he do? *balantly* He's a bee. Bees are not cool. One time in class, I made a three line poem about bees and did an interperative dance in front of everyone. You'd think it would be scary being up there and all, but not really. I squeezed out some laughs and smiles, and that's what really counts. *pause* But that's totally off topic, ^^;
Okay, so seriously. What did he do? Why, he shot little needles from his posterior and started shooting at everyone. Not only is that dangerous, but also really weird. He almost gave them cuts! *big gasp*
Throw the book at this digimon! *throws dictionary at Flymon* (Flymon sulks and whines. "Why'd you do that for?")
What Cherrymon did was very bad. He messed around with Matt's head. He convinced him that he had no friends and made him feel lower that dirt. Boo, hiss. I guess it's not entirely his fault. Puppetmon sorta made him do the whole thing. Silly Pinocchio.
It all started with a walk in the digital world. Matt and Gabumon were by themselves in the forest. They stop for a minute, and Matt releases all of his angst on how he isn't needed to protect TK anymore and how he hasn't grown stronger like the others. That he's still the same jerk he always was. It's a pretty intense moment. Gabumon listen's with sadness to his friend, when lo and behold, here comes a talking tree interupting their business!
A talking tree? You don't see those everyday. So this tree, named Cherrymon, starts talking gibberish and nonsense on how Matt needs to change. (Apparently, the big tree had been listening to the entire conversation.) And in order to change, he needs to defeat his so-called rival. Who's the rival, you ask? Cherrymon orders Matt to look into the lake of truth to find out. Tai's face appears on the water.
Matt doesn't believe this at all. "What kind of trick is this?" he yells out. He's not convinced. "He's my friend, yeah! He may not always act like it, but... he's right! Tai's my friend. You don't fight your friends." Yay, Yama! ^_^ *waves fans with Yama-kun's face imprinted on it* Too bad the tree isn't about ready to back down yet.
Cherrymon starts to preach and rant on how friendship means nothing, that's it's just a word. A delusion. That at the end, the only person Matt can depend on is himself. This leaves (Get it? Tree? Leaves?) Matt with much doubt and confusion. Nooo, Yama! You can't be that gullible! Don't listen to him, he's a tree on crack! O_o
He starts to mope on how ironic it is that he ended up with the crest of friendship. But Gabumon has hope and won't let him down. He reasures Matt that he does have a friend. He tells him to do whatever his conscious tells him to do, and not to listen to anybody else. He has to have faith in himself. (And that's what really counts, eh kids?) Whatever Matt does, Gabumon will go with it. Ah, what a true friend...
Matt's eyes fill with tears and his crest activates. MetalGarurumon appears before him and they gallop into the forest to find the others.
Noooooooooooooo! *turns dramatically in circles while screaming* Matt you gullible, gullible boy! Ahhhhhhhh!
This leaves Cherrymon with a sense of satisfaction. Still, he realizes how strong the bond between the blonde and his digimon is, and that the digidestined still have a chance of winning. Puppetmon got mad at this thought, so he blows Cherrymon into bits. Oh, the horror!
Silly Pinocchio. *laughs heartily*
Well now. *crosses arms* Beating up Gabumon and then throwing him off a cliff, leaving him defenseless plummeting into a roaring river is just plain mean. Bad ugly vegetable! Nobody likes vegetables anyways. Well, not one that's ugly and talks. Oh, and not one that's mean! Scat before I steam ya and put you into an eggroll!
Whoo, Mari-San almost went psychotic back there. Thank god I didn't! *laughs*
Okay, to sum things all up before I get all blah diddy dah on you, Iron Vegiemon and his minions have the nerve beating up on Matt, Gabumon, and the gang. Not to mention slapping Veemon silly, who is the evolved form of Chibimon. *puts hands on hips* Oh no you didn't! Hurt Chibimon again and I'll kick your veggie butt into the Tropic of Cancer.
Um, as I was saying...
So yeah. Iron Vegiemon is mean. THAT is why he is on the list! But luckily, Matt and Garurumon save the day. Hurrah! ^_^ Oh, and the others helped too.
Well, that's it. I hope you enjoyed my incoherent, healthy ramblings.
"But Mari-San, what about Puppetmon? Or the evil black mist? Or the-"
Sh sh! *sweatdrop* I'll get to those later. Remember, a sheriff's day is never done. I've got some fighting evil to do!"
"But... you're not a real sheriff."
Must you analyze every little thing? Now see ya'll later! *tips hat*
So I ride off on my amazing invincible iguana named Poofu into the sunset, doing what I do best; Fighting evil that isn't really there. The end.
Disclaimer: It's funny. This page was actually made last year, but I had somehow forgotten all about it. *hearty laugh* But anyhoo, this was released to the public sometime in August. Don't steal any of my views, opinions, whatever. Actually, don't steal anything to your fancy or I will make Poofu eat you. Thank you and have a jollibee day!
