Revised rundown of characters!

that's me. A 17-year-old, clinically depressed bisexual college student with drinking problems. (Recent incidents have revealed I may have a higher purpose…) a friend of mine and alter ego in my Internet life. He is a twenty-something drop out and regular cat-rapist another friend and former Internet alter ego. Owns a dart gun and is often found laying traps for Rodrigo. Hates anime with a passion. perpetually pregnant, psychic cat. Suffers from regular mood swings and lives with my other two resident cats, Tremble and Eyebrow. <3\/1L |\/|4St3r l33t> a small, four inch tall, demon who has the bizarre ability to make me speak l33t for twenty minute intervals. four inch tall representation of my "good" conscience. Has troubles concerning his sexuality. Shinji’s interpretation of his “bad” conscience. Constantly trying to get Shinji into fights. Likes Shinji but would never admit it Representation of Shinji’s “good” conscience. Seems a little distracted most of the time. Has personal issues concerning her origin. Another admirer of Shinji although much less obvious than Asuka’s “tough love” approach. four inch interpretation of my "bad" conscience. Due to his demonic nature, everytime I catch even a glimpse of Cthulu I go temporarily insane and start singing anything that is in my mind. Cthulu’s interpretation of his “bad” conscience. Calls absolutely everyone he ever meets “kakarot” for some inexplicable reason. Cthulu’s interpretation of his “even badder” conscience. Always coming up with the best way of getting the entire gang into trouble. Doesn’t show it but he cares for the entire group like a family. a young boy from the show card captors. His real name is unknown. He goes by the name Fred due to American censorship and editing. Due to this same editing, Fred cannot swear or use any profanity. It is instead replaced with a similar word that is less offensive. an ordinary person in extraordinary circumstances. Mike was to deliver a pneumatic drill to Mr. Floppolom, but upon requesting Floppy’s permit was knocked unconscious and taken to Floppy’s basement… Christ reborn and earth's last hope for redemption.... Outlook not too sunny.... And finally, basically the antichrist and arch nemesis of Bob. Contains incredible powers, which are wanted by the government....

Episode 6

No need for plot!

Authour’s note: I decided to take a break from the tightly scriptedness of recent episodes and this is just a lot of chaos and jokes that I wouldn’t be able to fit in the main plot Enjoy! Wow…used up almost a page already….. I don’t like the look of this you know? what? “No need for plot”? That just means it’s going to be a load of stupid jokes and insane set pieces… I can feel the pain already. oh, I wouldn’t worry about it if I was you! You’ll be unconscious soon! What? Wait, what’s that in your hands? Why, it appears to be a giant mackerel! Don’t worry it’ll only hurt for a second… I really fucking hate you, you know that? (Wingy swings the fish into Alex’s face, sending Alex hurtling through the air.) you hear something? no…why? oh, never mind then…where are we? it would appear that we’ve become characters in the Sims… Ah, that would explain why I talk in gibberish most of the time and can’t seem to turn round without taking an agonizingly long time to do so. Looks like you’re hungry. What makes you say that? the little thought bubble above your head has a picture of food in it. oh, thanks. (Floppy tries to move towards the fridge, but the unusual diamond above his head won’t seem to let him move) Dammit! The bastards switched off the free will mode! (The diamond shifts over to Rodrigo and a symbol of the bed appears over in the corner of the sky to signify what his next job will be) looks like I’m off to bed. Goodnight! (Rod climbs into bed as the diamond hovers over him. He lies in bed for a few minutes when all of a sudden the diamond falls and goes through his head with an agonizing crunch. Meanwhile, Floppy is trying to muster all the strength of will he has in order to resist the sudden, overwhelming urge he has to stick his hand in the fireplace.) Whoever’s doing this, I’m going to kill you when I get out! (As Floppy bursts into flames and Rod runs around the house looking for a first aid kit, E.m.l. in the real world is chuckling his demonic arse off.) Wow! This game is brilliant! Maybe we could find a peaceful solution to this Cthulu? it would appear that the demon has other plans pilot Ikari. ok. First, grab his wings and kick him in the back. Then, as he’s on the floor kick him in the head a few times... Quiet Asuka! Why are you so determined to hurt me Cthulu? now that you mention it, I’m not really sure! I think it’s just because you annoy me! Fight him with honour Kakarot! ok. First, grab his hair and kick him in the back. Then, as he’s on the floor kick him in the head a few times… (We change scene to Fred, who’s being assailed by the sounds of Alex’s CD collection.) what kind of noise is that? (turning up the volume) it’s called rock and roll my little roommate! Great innit? (shouting) That’s one way you could put it I suppose! WHAT? I SAID; THAT’S ONE WAY TO PUT IT! YOU WANT IT LOUDER? ALLRIGHT! (System of a down blares out of the speakers at full volume shaking the house to its very foundations.) WAKEUP! GRABABRUSHANDPUTONALITTLEMAKEUP! HIDETHESCARSTOFADEAWAYTHESHAKEUP! WHY’DYOULEAVETHEKEYSUPONTHETABLE? HEREYOUGOCREATEANOTHERFABLE! (Downstairs) he’s worse than Alex that one… He is the spawn of Lucifer, feline one! well yes but that’s no excuse for having such bad manners. By the way Bob, your narcolepsy doesn’t seem to be as much of a problem as it used to be? why, thank you for noticing, feline one! It would appear that these small white tablets Alex gave me are suppressing my narcoleptic tendencies! but…they’re laxatives? that is correct! Now if you’d excuse me I have to rush off again… (Bob waddles off towards the toilet buttocks clenched all the way…) wow this is getting real dire, real fast! Need to spruce it up… I know! (We switch scene to the basement where a lone man sits tied up and gagged. The man is; Mike Johnston: Postal Worker. The basement; Floppolom’s underground lair...) Good afternoon Mr. Johnston! I trust you’ve slept well? How’s the jaw? mmffmfmfmff! very good! At least it’s not broken then! I have to apologize about these arrangements, but the house is filling up awfully fast at the moment…new arrivals and all! mmff fmffm fmmf mff! oh don’t worry about a thing Mike…may I call you Mike? (Puts on his “special” apron) I’m just going to see if we can do something about you not telling anyone what’s happening down here, ok? (panicked) MFFF FMMFF FMMF FMFM MMMM FFF!!! (Meanwhile. Alex is inexplicably back in the house, sitting in the living room.) Let’s see what we got here…documentaries, documentaries, radio channels… well I suppose that’s what I get for letting dad sort out which cable channels we keep… The dolphin is one of the most beautiful and mysterious creatures on our earth. We know very little about them. What we do know is that they travel in families, can communicate, and that their ejaculate is strong enough to decapitate a normal human… OKAYY! We didn’t need to know that! Blech! (Wingy burst through the door holding what appears to be a large, bottle nosed dolphin making squealing noises.) YO ALEX! PRESENT FOR YOU! Ohh no! I really fucking hate you, you know that? (A stream of white liquid bursts from the dolphin taking Alex’s head clean off.) (Elsewhere) this is unit echo nine! I repeat unit echo nine! Royal air force! Do not open fire! My radar signature is down! Do not open fire! (Rodrigo is sat in an RAF tornado flying over Iraq airspace. Several batteries of patriot missiles aimed towards his aircraft) Do you copy base? This is echo nine! DO NOT OPEN FIRE! Uhh this is ground base. What confirmation do we have of your intentions? This is echo nine! Royal air force! My radar signature is down! I cannot send confirmation of my craft! Uhh real sorry bout this echo nine but I think I just lent on the fire button… (radar screaming of incoming missile) YOU AMERICAN IDIOTS! IF I SURVIVE THIS I’M GONNA KILL THE IDIOT ON THE RADIO! (Alex is sleeping peacefully on the couch and E.m.l and Cthulu are drawing on his face, putting his hand in warm water etc, etc…) he’s gonna be so pissed when he wakes up you know? yeah I know but it’ll be worth it! Heh heh! You ready? (Readies his new ‘l33t gu|\|”) ready when you are! ok! (Bends over and farts a brimstone fart into Alex’s face waking him up instantly) Kryen Madiera! What the hell? (Looks at E.m.l and Cthulu and just before he slips into insanity again manages one last sentence just as the l33t gu|\| is fired...) I really, really fucking hate you guys, you know that? (There is a moment of silence as Alex recovers from the blast then proceeds to sing the last song he heard… in l33t…) P|_| ll 7|-|3 74pe\/\/0Rm 0u7 0f |_|R 4SS!, |-|3Y! P|_| ll 7|-|3 74pe\/\/0Rm 0u7 0f |_|R 4SS!, |-|3Y! P|_| ll 7|-|3 74pe\/\/0Rm 0u7 0f |_|R 4SS!, |-|3Y! P|_| ll 7|-|3 74pe\/\/0Rm 0u7 0f |_|R 4SS!, |-|3Y!

Next Episode will be a return to the usual format. Thanks for reading this slight interlude and I hoped you enjoyed it! There’s gonna be more in the future! Let this be a hint…never write something while listening to System Of A Down’s Toxicity album…