OC quotes .:seth cohen's humor:.

The moble home

Ryan: You know what I like about rich kids? (punches Luke) Nothing!

Ryan: I am now property of the government. Nickname 0382965.

Sandy: And you know, they do find foster home for kids your age.
Seth: Yeah, because everyone wants a brand new teenager. I'm sorry if I'm the only one here that will state the obvious-
Kirsten: Seth...
Seth: But we have all this extra room, right? We have a pool house. Yet you guys are going to ship him off to a group home. Am I the only one who gets how much that sucks?

Marissa: Uh, right now? Punk.
Seth: I'm sorry, uh, Avril Lavigne doesn't count as punk.

Marissa: Oh yeah? Well what about The Cramps? Stiff Little Fingers? The Clash? Sex Pistols?
Seth: I listen to the same music as Marissa Cooper? I think I have to kill myself.

Ryan: You listen to punk, huh?
Marissa: I'm angry.

Seth: So, did you tell him anything?
Marissa: No. But if anyone asks, you're Suki

Seth: Yeah, it's too bad you're leaving. We never eat like this.
Kirsten: That's not true. I cook all the time.
Seth: Dad...
Sandy: I'm sorry, honey. [laughs]
Kirsten: Let's just eat.
Sandy: We're not saying we want you to cook more.
Seth: Oh... [blows raspberry] Hell, no. You remember the meat loaf incident of '98?
Kirsten: That was brisket.
Seth: Yeah, that's my point exactly.

Seth: Well, it's one of my mom's housing developments. Her and my grandpa owned a bunch of them. This was supposed to be the model home but it never got finished.
Marissa: Why? Did someone die here, now it's haunted?
Seth: [deadpan] Yes, that's exactly what happened.

Seth: Fair enough. Where are you going?
Ryan: I don't know. New town, get a job somewhere, save some money.
Seth: (sarcastically) Great plan. Sounds like you've given it a lot of thought.
Ryan: You got a better idea?
Seth: Actually, I do.

Sandy: [walks in] Hey...can I talk to you?
Seth: [as if like he just woke up] Dad? What? Is it morning?

Sandy: There's no need for sarcasm.
Seth: I'm not being sarcastic.
Sandy: Well, it's hard to tell sometimes.

Ryan: So you didn't tell them anything?
Seth: Um, actually I told them that you went to Mexico for cockfights. You know what though? Even if they don't believe me they'll never look for you here. Did you seriously bring a loofa?
Ryan: What's a loofa?
Marissa: Hey, you said bring whatever was around the house.
Seth: But, I meant like, survival supplies like a rope or muskets and not [picks up bottle] Kio's cucumber moisturizer.

Luke: No way. Look who's back. You know, you're a little far from eight mile.

Sandy: The minute you were born, I knew, that I would never take another easy breath again without knowing you were safe.
Seth: So I'm like asthma?

Marissa: What are you doing?
Seth: Nothing. We're just hanging out. Oh, look, it's somebody's birthday. I guess my invitation probably got lost in the mail.
Marissa: It's my friend Summer's birthday.
Seth: Summer's birthday is not till Wednesday. That's what I heard. I don't know. That was a guess.

Ryan: I didn't tell her anything. I think the black turtleneck in August tipped her off.
Seth: Okay, I was going for stealth, and also it's slimming.

Marissa: I mean, what did I ever do to you?
Seth: Nothing, Marissa. I've lived next door to you forever and you've never done or said anything to me.

Marissa: Oh, my God, you're the one who never talks to me. You think you're so much better than everyone.
Seth: I do? Well, if you're talking about Luke, then yes, because that guy shaves his chest!

Seth: Well, I admit the place could use some sprucing up. God, did I just say sprucing?

Ryan: I'm not too popular around here, and your boyfriend--a little bit angry.
Marissa: You're telling me you didn't try to hit him back?
Ryan: Actually, I hit him first.
Marissa: Well, hard to believe you're not more popular.

Seth: Oh, hey, hey, hey. Is that Summer? Tell her I said happy birthday.
Marissa: Okay.
Summer: Coop, where are you? We're coming to get you.
Marissa: Oh, no, no, no, don't. I'm coming.
Seth: Tell her I said happy birthday.
Marissa: Seth Cohen says happy birthday.
Summer: Who?
Marissa: [she makes a face, but then smiles] She says thanks.

Julie: Hey, there's eggs. Oh, I'm taking Caitlin to the stable, so I need to get that check.
Jimmy: Does Caitlin really need a pony? In a couple of months, she's not even going to like horses.
Caitlin: What?! I love China. She's the prettiest pony.

Seth: [laughs] Well, at least I don't shave my chest.
Luke: What'd you say?
Marissa: Luke, come on.
Seth: I just said you look nice in a sweater vest. It was a compliment.