Distant Memories
Distant Memories
by Katie Moncelsi
****
After the ship was attacked by the Kazon, we had to dock at AtBoia.
It's now two days later and we are just now finishing repairs.
****
B'Elanna Torres had been working in Engineering for two days
straight and the stress was beginning to take a toll on her. Anyone who
passed her in the corridors knew, full well, to keep their distance.
Finally, she would get some sleep as soon as she reached her quarters.
*I'll put a security lock out on the door and sleep for a day or
two.* B'Elanna thought. *Peace and...*
"B'Elanna!"Harry called.
She heard him scream for her from around the corner. She tried to
run, but he caught up with her and grabbed her arm.
"B'Elanna, I need to talk to you."Harry said.
"Get out of here, Starfleet. Your risking your life if you other me
now."B'Elanna snarled.
"Stop joking. You wouldn't hurt me."
*He's right. Ever since I met him in that Damn Ocampan Hospital,
I've liked him. Well, maybe more than that...*
"B'Elanna."
Harry's voice brought her back to reality.
"What?!"She almost screamed.
"You spaced out for a sec."
"I'm fine" She controlled the urge to throw him against the wall and
rip out some of his vital organs.
"Come on. You're not fine. You haven't slept for 3 days."
"Your right, Harry. And I'm going to sleep now."
He grabbed her arm. She shrugged him off and he fell to the floor.
"Harry, I'm so sorry. I'm just so. . ."
All of a sudden, B'Elanna saw a man run across the room at her. She
started to scream and attack the "man" she thought she saw. Harry tried to
stop her, since there was no one there and he didn't know why she was
reacting like this to nothing. He grabbed her arm and her anger was
projected to him.
"B'Elanna, stop!"Harry screamed.
"I'll kill you, you tried to kill me, but I'll kill you first!"She
screamed at Harry.
Harry brought himself to hit her, to get her back in reality. He
slapped her face hard. She broke out of her trance, surprised that Harry had
hit her. She looked at what she had done to Harry.
"Oh, my God. What have I done to you?!"She backed away, slowly.
"B'Elanna, it's okay." He moved to comfort her and she jumped back.
She looked at him from her hiding place. "Don't come near me." She
said, "I don't want to hurt you."
"B'Elanna, what happened? What's wrong?" He caught her arm when she
wasn't looking. "Tell me."
She looked at what she had done to him again, a confused look on her
face. "Harry? What happened?"
"Don't you remember?" He answered. "You attacked me."
"What?!"She exclaimed. She shook her head, "I don't remember
doing that."
Suddenly, she started crying and tried to back up farther into
the wall.
"B'Elanna?"
"What?" She quietly said.
"How long has it been since you slept?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Because you're not acting like yourself."
"Harry, get out of here. Before you get hurt."
Noticing that her mood had just changed for the worst, he left. "Get
some sleep, B'Elanna."
The last thing he heard was a sound between a snarl and a growl.
****
"Captain, I've found an "M"-Class planet. It seems to have a high
Sirilium concentration." Ensign Kim announced.
"That'll block long range communications. Captain to Torres."
"Yes, Captain."Torres replied.
"We've found something you might like. Please report to Transporter
Room 2."
"I'm on my way, Captain. Torres out."
Janeway turned to Lt. Paris, "I want to send as few people as
possible. Mr. Paris and Ensign Kim, please join Lt. Torres."
Tom and Harry left for the Transporter Room.
****
When Paris arrived Harry pulled him aside.
"Tom, I'm worried about B'Elanna. She attacked me last night and
then didn't remember what she had done. Since we're going to be there for
at least a week or two, with no communications from Voyager. Help me keep
an eye on her."
Just as he said this, B'Elanna walked in. She was stumbling
slightly.
"B'Elanna, are you alright?"Harry asked.
"I'm fine."
She walked to the transporter pad, stumbling even more.
"B'Elanna, have a little fun last night?"Paris said.
"Drop dead, Paris."She replied.
****
They transported to the planet.
"Let's find a place to camp out for the night."Paris said.
"I'm going to start looking for the Sirilium."B'Elanna said and
walked away.
A few minutes later, Paris and Harry heard screams. B'Elanna came
running out of the forest, shooting at everything and anything,
inadvertently, hitting Paris in the arm.
"B'Elanna, stop!" Harry screamed.
She stopped in her tracks. Then she walked slowly, as if in a
trance, to a low drop off. Harry, not knowing what to do, ran after her
with Tom behind him, holding his arm.
"They don't like me, but I can get out of here. Yeah. They told me
I could." B'Elanna said.
Harry looked at Tom, who was as scared as he. All of a sudden,
B'Elanna took her phaser, put up the power, and shot herself in the chest.
She fell off the drop off.
"B'Elanna!!!"Harry and Tom screamed.
They made there way down to where B'Elanna lay. They found her
unconscious, but alive. They picked her up and carried her to the cave,
they were using as a shelter.
"At least she'll get some sleep now." Paris joked.
The look on Harry's face made Paris feel embarrassed about what he
had just said.
Just then B'Elanna woke up, she tried to sit up, but was racked
with pain.
"Harry, what happened?"She asked, hoarsely.
"You shot yourself and fell off the drop off." Harry said. "Don't
you remember?"
"No. . .I don't"Her eyes glazed over for a sec, in pain, and then
she said,"Let's go."
"B'Elanna, you injured. You can't. . ."
"Harry."
"What?"
"Shut up."
She started to stand and fell back. Harry saw the grimace on her
face, but he knew there was no way she'd admit to the pain. He
started to help her and she shrugged him away and starting walking,
limping slightly.
****
B'Elanna didn't want to admit it, but she remembered what had
happened. It had been another hallucination. She knew it was from sleep
deprivation. She just couldn't sleep, though. She hid in her work and
refused to sleep. Every time she slept the dream came back. In the dream,
she was in the barracks of the Vidiian prison. She relived the time she
was split in two, every night. And she couldn't take seeing the nightmare
again.
****
"Come on, Harry! There's no way she'll make it. With her injuries,
she should be almost dead."Paris said.
Just then B'Elanna's step faltered and she started to fall. Harry
and Tom ran to her, but couldn't reach her before she hit the ground. Her
head slammed against a rock and she fell unconscious.
"We have to get her to the ship. I hope we can still contact
Voyager." Paris said.
"Ensign Kim to Voyager."
****
All of a sudden, on Voyager, there was a slight sound.
"Someone's trying to contact us."Chakotay said.
"All stop. Chakotay, get that signal up." Janeway ordered.
The garbled voice of Harry Kim was heard, saying, ". . .Ensign
Kim. . .B'Elanna. . . Unconscious. . .Dead. . . Beam. . .Help. . ."
"Fix that signal."Janeway ordered.
"We need a beam up."Harry said.
Just then B'Elanna woke up and started screaming, incoherently.
She then starting attacking Paris.
"B'Elanna! Stop! Harry! Help!"Paris screamed.
"Harry, what's happening?"Janeway asked.
"B'Elanna's. . . "Harry cut off and started screaming.
"Beam them up! Now!"Janeway ordered.
****
Tom appeared on the transporter pad. Still, on the ground,
screaming in pain.
"I have Lieutenant Paris, Captain. But none of the others."
Carey, who was running the transporter, said.
Janeway responded, "Keep working on it."
****
When Tom disappeared, B'Elanna fell to the ground. Harry went
to her and helped her sit up.
"Harry, what's happening to me?"B'Elanna asked, trembling in fear
and confusion.
"I don't know. But you'll be fine. I'm here." Harry said,
soothingly.
"I'm scared. Don't leave me."
"I'm not going to leave, B'Elanna. Just go to sleep. Okay? I'll
stay right here with you."Harry said while brushing the hair off B'Elanna's
face.
B'Elanna fell asleep with Harry holding her hand.
****
"What have you done to me?"B'Elanna asked.
"I've extracted your Klingon DNA. You're now Fully Human.
Momentarily, I will send you to the Barracks."Sulan, the Chief Surgeon
of the Vidiian Sodality, said.
"Why have you done this to me?"B'Elanna asked.
****
B'Elanna is working on a Vidiian computer console. All of a sudden,
two Vidiians grab her from behind. She screams.
****
Harry woke up to screaming. He opened his eyes to see B'Elanna
about to attack him. In self defense he pushed her back. In her weakened
state, she fell back against the wall and slid to the ground.
"B'Elanna, are you alright?"Harry asked, rushing to her.
She looked at him confusion and fear in her eyes, and said,
"What? Who are you?"
"B'Elanna? It's me. Harry. Don't you recognize me?"
"No. My head hurts. What happened?"
"You were hurt. Here, let me help you." Harry said, putting his
arm out to help her. She jumped back.
"No!!! You're here to hurt me. Help!"She screamed.
All of a sudden, B'Elanna fainted. Harry went over to her. She
opened her eyes and Harry jumped back, afraid she'd attack him again.
"What's wrong? Do I look as bad as I feel?"B'Elanna said, a bit
of her old sarcasm back in her voice.
"You look fine."Harry said, matching the sarcasm in B'Elanna's
voice.
B'Elanna started to get up and swayed in place.
"Harry!"She screamed.
Harry went to catch her, he helped her into a more lit area of
the cave so he could get a better look at her wounds.
"B'Elanna, how did you walk here before? Your ankle's broken,
you have a bad concussion, and a bad cut on the back of your head."Harry
said, concerned.
"I followed my own 'four' feet."B'Elanna joked.
She starting laughing and then starting coughing, badly.
"Anyway, that's not all my injuries."
She then moved her arm to show him the wound from the phaser blast,
it was bleeding a lot.
"B'Elanna, no wonder you've been fainting so much. You've lost
a lot of blood."
He took the regenerator and healed her wounds, as well as possible.
"Thanks, Harry."
She got up and started to walk away.
****
"What happened down there, Mr. Paris?"Janeway asked.
"B'Elanna just went crazy. She shot herself and attacked me."Paris
answered.
"Chakotay, plot a course back to the planet."Janeway ordered.
****
Harry had finally gotten B'Elanna to sleep. He woke up later to
hear her thrashing around in her sleep and talking to herself.
"Tom, don't. They'll kill you. No!!!"She screamed.
She shot straight up and he realized she was sweating a lot.
"B'Elanna?"Harry asked.
"Harry, we have to get out of here. They're coming."
He walked over to get the tricorder and pointed it at her. It read:
Infection
Fever: 105 degrees
"Oh, God!"Harry exclaimed.
He looked back over at B'Elanna, who was now leaning against
the wall.
"B'Elanna?"He said.
She didn't respond.
"B'Elanna!"
She still didn't respond.
He ran to her. She was staring straight ahead, her eyes blank and
unfocused.
"No! B'Elanna! You can't die! Stay with me!"He screamed.
He starting crying. He laid there most of the night, next to
B'Elanna. Occasionally, checking to see if she was still alive.
****
Harry woke up to the sound of movement. He saw B'Elanna thrashing
around. He wasn't sure if it was the fever or a nightmare. All of a sudden,
she sat straight up.
"Daddy! Daddy, why are you leaving? Come back!"She screamed.
"B'Elanna?"Harry asked.
B'Elanna seemed to be stuck in a trance of some kind. Harry
remembered hearing from Tom that B'Elanna's father had left when she
was five.
B'Elanna started talking to herself again, "Mom, where's Dad? Why
did he leave? No, it wasn't my fault, stop saying it is because of me.
Because I'm different."
Harry couldn't take it any longer.
"B'Elanna, listen to me. It's Harry. Stop it. It's okay. Your not
five years old anymore, it's all in your past, your 26, your on a planet
with me, and I'm not leaving you."
He started to shake her. She seemed to break out of the trance.
"Harry, why did I have to be like this?"B'Elanna asked.
Harry didn't understand what she meant.
"Like what?"He asked.
B'Elanna gestured to her forehead.
"Like this. . ."She said.
"There's nothing wrong with the way you look."Harry said.
B'Elanna laughed, sadly, and said, "You think I don't see the way
they look at me. The way some people move to avoid me. Like I'm a freak."
"B'Elanna, don't say that. No one thinks your a freak."
"Yes, they do. I know what people think of Klingons. That
they're -- we're monsters."
Harry went to say something, but B'Elanna stopped him and said,
"Well, they're right. We are."
The tricorder starting beeping, indicating that B'Elanna's fever
had peaked above safe limits.
"B'Elanna, I'm going to give you a shot to make you sleep."
B'Elanna had just slipped into a delirious state again, and didn't
hear him.
****
The next morning Harry woke up to find B'Elanna over him. She
seemed better, but he could tell something was still wrong. She wasn't
looking at him, but through him. She got up and moved to lay next to him.
He wasn't sure what was wrong with her. She hated any kind of physical
contact.
"B'Elanna, are you alright?"Harry asked.
"I'm fine, Tom."She answered.
Harry wasn't sure why she thought he was Tom, but he had a bad
feeling about this, since the last time Tom and B'Elanna had been together,
she'd been going through the Pon Farr.
"B'Elanna, are you alright?"Harry asked again.
"I'm fine."She answered, monotonously.
With that B'Elanna jumped at him. He moved out of the way and she
hit the ground.
"B'Elanna?"
"Harry, what's wrong? You said I was attractive."
Harry suddenly realized that in her fevered state she thought
Harry was trying to be enticing.
"B'Elanna, come over here."
She walked over to him. Trying to seduce him. She didn't notice
that he was hiding a hypospray. When she came nearer he grabbed her and
pushed the hypospray to her neck, making her lose consciousness. He took
out the tricorder and scanned her. It read:
Fever: 108 degrees
Fatal for Human
He used the tricorder to find out the fatal temperature for a
Klingon. It read:
Fatal Temperature for Klingon
approximately 110 degrees
"Thank God." he said.
Harry thought to himself *I doubt she'd like to hear that her
Klingon side saved her life again.*
He looked through the hypospray's programmable medical index and
found one, called Catoline, that said in high doses could eradicate a fever.
(Author's note: In Darkling, the Doctor added this so he could kill Torres
with it seeming to be a mistake since the tricorder said it was fine.)
He gave her a shot and waited. All of a sudden she stopped
breathing. He tried to find a pulse, but couldn't. He ran the tricorder
over her. It read:
Lifeform Deceased
"No!!! B'Elanna, don't die!"
He slapped her across the face to try to wake her up. She didn't
respond.
"B'Elanna!!!"
He was so angry that he started punching her. All of a sudden, she
started coughing.
"Harry?"
She started to get up and winced.
"Harry, you better move fast because as soon as I can move, I'm
going to get back at you for using me as your personal punching bag."
She gasped.
"I'm so sorry."
"Hey, it's okay. I know how hard it is to control your self in
a situation like that."
Harry noticed that B'Elanna was starting to nod off.
"B'Elanna, I'm going to give you something to help you sleep and
then I'll heal your injuries."
He didn't get a response from B'Elanna, since she had already
fallen to sleep. He looked at her face, thinking how beautiful she looked.
He healed her wounds and lied down to sleep beside her.
****
"Honey, come over here. I have to tell you something." A tall man
called to a little girl, of about five years.
"Coming, Daddy."The little girl ran up, she had a hat pulled down
low on her face.
"Take that hat off, Honey."
The girl did as she was told, revealing what her Klingon Ancestry
had left her.
"What's wrong, Honey. Why are you wearing the hat."
The girl didn't answer.
"Have they been teasing you at school again?"
The girl hung her head.
"Honey, I know how hard it is."
The little girl looked up, and said, "How can you know what it is
like to be teased. I stand out, I hate it."
"Honey, they don't tease you to be mean, they don't know any better,
and if they did know better and still teased you, I'd get them for you."
He grabbed her and danced her around the room.
"Sweet B'Elanna, you know I love you."
B'Elanna froze suddenly and said, "Daddy, do you hate me because
I'm Klingon?"
He father stopped and looked at her. He said, "Honey, why would
you say that?"
"Mother says Humans and other people don't like Klingons and that
they'd run away from me."
Her father thought for a second and then said, "Honey, does she
say anything about me?"
"She said you'd go away if I was bad and that you hated me
since I'm Klingon." B'Elanna looked into her father's eyes and said, "Is
that true, Daddy?"
Her father was aghast at this, he called out to his wife,
"K'Ehleyr!"(Author's note: No relation to Worf's wife)
B'Elanna's mother walked out in full Klingon battle attire. She
angrily said, "What do you want?"
"Why did you tell B'Elanna I don't love her?"He asked.
"It's true. You told me so."
"You liar. I would never say that about my own daughter."
B'Elanna couldn't take it any longer, she ran to her room and
cowered under the covers on her bed. She could still hear her parent's
fighting, downstairs from her.
She heard her father say, "K'Ehleyr, why did you lie to her?"
Her mother answered, "Because Human's are cowards, and stupid, and
dishonorable."
"That doesn't explain why you lied to our daughter."
"I told you she's dishonorable; she's half-human."
"That still gives you no right to tell her I hate her."
"Well, don't you? I mean she's half-Klingon and all Humans hate
Klingons."
With this B'Elanna started crying. She put her pillow over her
head to block out the voices and cried herself to sleep.
In the middle of the night, she woke up to someone sitting on the
corner of her bed crying.
"Daddy?"She asked.
"B'Elanna, I'm so sorry. I don't want to do this, but I have to.
Please forgive me."
He hugged her and walked out of the room. She knew what he meant
and ran after him.
"Daddy, don't. . . !"
She slipped as she was running and fell, hitting her head on the
wall. She starting crying for her father. Her mother walked up, she thought
for once that her mother would try to calm her down as her father always
did. But her mother was furious and starting yelling at her.
She yelled, "You worthless nuchpu'! What did your father just say
to you in your room?"(Author's note: nuchpu' translates to coward)
"Daddy, wasn't in my room." B'Elanna said, confused.
(Author's note: I didn't think that B'Elanna's father would just abandon
her, since she looks up to him so greatly)
"So, he wasn't up there?"said K'Ehleyr, realizing that when
B'Elanna had hit her head, she must have forgotten, that her father had
been in her room. She then said to B'Elanna, "Well, go to bed now."
When B'Elanna woke up the next morning, she went downstairs to
see her father. He wasn't there.
"Daddy."She called.
"He left."Her mother answered.
"When's he coming back?"
"Never."
"What?! Why did he leave?"
"Because of you."With that her mother walked away.
B'Elanna started crying and vowed that she would try to be more
Human and never act Klingon again.
****
"Mom, can you take me to the park?"A six year old B'Elanna asked.
"No."Her mother answered.
"Why?"
"I don't want to be seen in public with you."
B'Elanna finally got her mother to take her to the park. She'd
never been there before, but she'd heard the kids in school say it was
fun. When she got there she wished she'd never asked her mother to take
her. Everyone stared at her and when she asked people if she could play
with them they teased her. And at one time when someone came up to her
mother about her, her mother said she'd never seen B'Elanna before in her
life and that she had no idea who she was. That was the last straw. Then
and there B'Elanna decided she'd runaway as soon as she could and make a
living for herself away from her mother, where people would like her.
****
Harry woke up to hear B'Elanna crying. He noticed that she was
still sleeping.
"B'Elanna."He said.
She opened her eyes and turned to him. She said, "Oh, Harry, you
stayed. You didn't leave me."
She jumped, as well as she could, into Harry's arms and he held
her as she continued to cry.
"B'Elanna, what happened?"
"I finally remembered what really happened."
"What happened with what?"
"What happened when my father left."
He listened to the whole story and finally realized how bad a life
she had really had.
"B'Elanna, I'll never let that happen to you again."He told her.
They both fell asleep again with Harry holding B'Elanna in his arms.
****
"Captain, we're in orbit of the planet."Chakotay said.
"Good, Commander. Scan for Harry and B'Elanna."Janeway ordered.
"I'm picking up only one life sign and one commbadge signal. Both
from the same person."
Paris's heart jumped, he said, "Captain, before you beamed me up.
B'Elanna was hurt."
"Why didn't you inform me of this? All you said was that she shot
herself. You didn't say how bad."She asked. Janeway knew she should have
tried to get more information out of Tom before but the Doctor had said he
was to weak, and then Tom had avoided the subject.
"She shot herself on a very high setting in the stomach."
Janeway gasped, then she said, "Mr. Paris, if my chief engineer
dies, I'm going to hold you fully responsible. Did anything else happen
that I should be made aware of?"
"She was hallucinating badly. After she shot herself she fell off
a low drop off."
"Oh, God. Chakotay."Janeway said.
He didn't respond. She looked over at him and he had a look of
shock on his face. She then remembered that him and B'Elanna were really
good friends. She went over to him and put her hand on his shoulder.
"Chakotay, I know it's hard, but we have to find them."She said.
"You're right, Captain."He answered quietly.
"Good. Mr. Paris, Chakotay, and . . ."She looked around the bridge
trying to decide who to take. She'd need someone with medical experience.
She then remembered the Doctor's holoemitter. "Janeway to Sickbay."
"Sickbay here."
"Please meet me for an away team mission in Transporter Room 2.
Bring a full medkit, including Klingon stimulants and sedatives."
"I'm on my way, Captain. Sickbay out."
****
Harry woke up to see B'Elanna over him and he thought. *Oh, God.
Not again.*
She moved and looked at his general location. He then noticed
that she was quite sane.
There was one small problem. She kept rubbing her eyes and when
Harry went over to her, and she didn't notice him. He touched her on the
shoulder and she jumped. He then noticed that she wasn't exactly looking
at him, but through him.
"B'Elanna."he said.
She jumped at the sound of his voice.
"Who are you? Get away!"she screamed.
She lunged at his general location and he caught her.
"B'Elanna, what's wrong?"
"Harry?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"Harry. I can't see. Why can't I see? Help me."
She was trembling and Harry realized that something was terribly
wrong. He scanned her with the tricorder. It read:
High levels of Catoline
Symptoms of lethal amount:
FIRST STAGE:
Blindness/Deafness
SECOND STAGE:
Complete Paralysis
THIRD STAGE:
Coma
FINAL STAGE:
Death
He went over to B'Elanna, who was now in the corner crying.
"B'Elanna, what's wrong?"
She didn't respond.
"B'Elanna?"
He touched her shoulder and she jumped. She said something he
couldn't understand. Then she started screaming a look of complete terror
in her eyes. She then went limp in his arms.
"Harry, what's wrong with me?"She heavily slurred.
****
"Captain, I have a lock on Ensign Kim."Chakotay said.
"Beam him up."
****
B'Elanna got no response from Harry because he disappeared and
she hit the ground. Unable to move at all, she couldn't get up. So she
laid there and started to cry.
****
Harry appeared on the transporter pad.
"Harry, good to see you back."Carey, who was manning
transporters, said.
He looked at Carey and jumped at Chakotay who was standing near
the transporter pad.
"Beam me back down. She's dying. I have to help her."Harry screamed.
"Harry, calm down. What happened?"Chakotay asked.
"She got an infection from where she got shot. The tricorder said
to give her Catoline. I thought that it was lethal for people, but the
tricorder said that it was the only thing to use, since she was
half-Klingon."
The Doctor, who was listening gasped, realizing what had happened
to B'Elanna was partly his fault, he said, "Let me guess: she stopped
breathing, had no pulse, and was clinically dead to the tricorder."
"Yes, how did you know?"Harry said.
"I - I mean, my evil counterpart used it on her once. It had no
lasting side effects, but she might be hurt by it now."
"Oh, God."Harry said, as he collapsed to the floor.
"What?"the Doctor asked.
"The tricorder said to watch for symptoms. To see if it was
fatal. . ."Harry said.
The symptoms for Catoline poisoning went through the Doctor's mind.
He asked, "Was she blind?"
"Yes, she was."
"Was she deaf?"
"Yes, she was."
"When you left her was she still blind and deaf?"
"No, but she was completely paralyzed."
"Oh, no."
"Emergency beam out. Get her signal and beam her up, no matter
what."Chakotay ordered.
****
B'Elanna was on the planet, just as she was left, thinking about
what an unhonorable way this was to die. Then she realized that she was
being transported, even though she didn't feel it. She then thought.*Oh,
God, if they see me like this. . .*
****
As B'Elanna appeared every one saw she was on the floor, not
moving at all.
Harry ran from the room mumbling, "Oh, God. What have I done? I've
killed my best friend"