Events Mood: bright Healing After Suicide, sponsored by the American Association of Suicidology is open to all survivors of suicide loss, and includes a full day of presentations, workshops, and sharing sessions. This year?s conference will be in Broomfield, CO on April 16. The registration deadline is March 28. More information is available at Suicidology or 202-237-2280.
The World Gathering on Bereavement will take place in Vancouver, BC on August 17-21. Folksinger Judy Collins, who lost her son to suicide, will be a keynote speaker, and there will be several workshops on the subject of suicide throughout the conference. In addition, The Compassionate Friends, an international self-help group for bereaved parents, will hold their 4th International Gathering within the larger conference; their workshops will specifically address grief following the death of a child. Although the Gathering is not until August, the registration deadline is April 1st. More is available at World Gathering.
http://www.chroniclejournal.com/story.shtml?id=26210
Stigma keeps many silent about suicide
By Stephanie MacLellan - The Chronicle-Journal
March 13, 2005
Suicide is no longer a criminal act, but the word
still carries a legacy of
shame that can stop people from getting help.
Dr. Paul Mulzer, a psychiatrist at Lakehead
Psychiatric Hospital, thinks it
has to do with the stigma that surrounds mental
illness in general.
"People don't refer to diabetes as a failure of the pancreas, but they refer
to depression as a failure of will-power or self-discipline," he said.
"It's a real misinterpretation, and seeing it as a non-medical condition when, in
fact, it's very medical."
Brenda Simpson, a social worker in suicide
prevention for more than a decade,
sees an attitude of silence around suicide in
particular. She thinks it's
left over from the days in which
suicide was considered a sin, and a cause
for
shame for the family. She notes that to this day,
coroners won't always
report
suicide as a cause of death,
instead calling the death an accident.
'If someone says, "We're not going to say it's suicide to protect
you," it
shows there's a reason to be protected," she said.
There are also assumptions about the type of person that commits suicide.
For instance, it's well known that suicide rates are tragically high
among the
aboriginal population.
But Simpson cautions against assuming it's a native
problem.
"Then you don't have to own it (if you're not native)," she said.
It's
very similar to the AIDS epidemic when it first started.
"Oh, it's the gay
community. . . And we didn't have to worry about it affecting us.
This can also stop people from finding help for
others who may be suicidal,
if they don't fit any of the most common categories, Simpson said.
Another problem is that suicide is seen as a
behaviour that must be stopped,
rather than a feeling that can be talked about and
worked through.
It is terrifying . . . when someone tells you they're thinking about dying.
But at the same time, it doesn't mean they're going to die.
It's just
something they're feeling," she said.
"If we think about it as a feeling,
it's not
scary, and a feeling needs to be talked about. . . .
Once it's a behaviour,
it's beyond talking about."
She'd like to see more people discuss suicide, and not just in emergencies.
If people know their friends and family are comfortable talking about it,
they'll be more likely to bring it up if they need help.
"You need to talk to your teenagers about suicide when they're happy,"
she
said. If you can just put it on the table and talk about it generally,
you
let
them know that door is open.
Or even among adult friends - how often do we talk about it?
The LPH has been working with family doctors to prevent suicide, partly
because people are often more comfortable in their doctor's office.
The
shared care
program has family doctors identify patients who might be at risk,
and then
psychiatrists assess the patients in the more comfortable confines of the
doctor's office.
The Lakehead Psychiatric Hospital is steeped in a
lot of history, and that's worrisome to people," Mulzer said.
We find even with our shared care
model,
when we go out to a family practice office, there are people we see
there
who we wouldn't see here.
The hospital is also working with non-medical
professions to raise awareness,
so teachers, employers and co-workers can see the
warning signs and get help
for the people who need it.
"I think it does make it more open," he said.
'People are more comfortable
with it,
and not as likely to say, "It's not my responsibility.'"
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Constructive Steps of Grieving
I'm in an on-line support group called FFOS@yahoogroups.com - Family & Friends of Suicide I received this from another member. Thanks Terri!
Constructive Steps of Grieving
1. Seek out support.
It is important survivors not attempt to deal with their loss by themselves. Given the social stigma, shame, and guilt, it is not surprising that many survivors pull inward and withdraw from potential help. Yet, other people must be involved to help the survivors adequately resolve their grief and pain. They provide the vital support, understanding, and comfort necessary to allow the survivors to face their confusion and loss. Friends and relatives can be helpful in this area. In addition, self-help support groups, such as Survivors of Suicide, can provide the invaluable assistance of those who have experienced a similar tragic loss.
2. Talk.
One of the most important things someone can do for a suicide survivor is listen because the survivor must talk. Through talking, the survivor can release a multitude of thoughts, feelings, and questions generated by the suicide. When open communication about the suicide is forbidden, the negative results of the suicide only increase. Honest sharing and patient listening are essential keys for coming to peace with the suicide
3. Get questions answered.
While many of the "why" questions related to the suicide may never be answered, it is important to obtain answers to as many "what" questions as desired. It is valuable to clarify "what" happened "when" so as to limit speculation. Facts are typically easier to deal with than uncertainty and fantasy
4. Grieve.
Every significant loss requires a period of mourning. In this regard, suicide is no different. Yet, frequently the fact of the loss gets hidden behind the mechanism of the loss. Survivors attempt to quickly "put the suicide behind us" so as to avoid the guilt and shame. They repress their grief and ignore their loss. This, however, makes matters worse.
Survivors need the time, understanding, and freedom to grieve their loss. They must work through the normal stages of grief without getting sidetracked by the fact that the loss occurred through suicide. Sharing, support, and patience from others are vital in this process.
5. Pour energy into constructive outlets.
The final stage of dealing with grief involves readjusting and refocusing on life and the future. This is an important element also in dealing with suicide. The intense emotions aroused by suicide generate energy that requires some outlet. These energies can be channeled into positive, constructive endeavors that further aid the healing process. While opportunities vary, possibilities include working to establish a local suicide hotline, serving on a mental health advisory board, volunteering at an elderly or child care facility, and reaching out to others who hurt through individual contact or a support group.
6. Continue family traditions and rituals.
For survivors of suicide, life will never be the same. Yet it need not be totally different either. As part of the process of healing, family and individual traditions should be respected and maintained. Doing so forms a link from the unsettled present to the more stable past. It helps to provide a sense of continuity in a time of upheaval. It reminds us that life will go on and that life can yet be positive and rewarding.
Surviving..
Surviving suicide establishes in the survivor a perpetual need to search for both physical and psychological clues as to the reason for the suicide.
Whether irrational or appropriate, surviving suicide leaves a legacy of inexorable guilt. Surviving suicide profoundly alters one's social relationships as a consequence of real or imagined stigma.
Grief following a suicide is always complex and likely to be incomplete. The idea of suicide as a solution to a problem becomes implanted in the mind of the survivor. Suicide erodes the capacity to trust others.
Welcome to Kathy's Kasbah Mood: not sure Now Playing: To Where You Are by Josh Groban Topic: Blog Welcome To Where You Are
Whoops! My whole front page was replaced by this blog. It's time for a change anyway. I will have my Morocco pages up again sometime soon InShallah.
Coming to terms with the suicide of my dear friend Casey. She suffered from bipolar disorder, did not want to accept the diagnosis, and refused to follow treatment. Her depression became unbearable, and she died last summer. For the people who knew her, it is a tragic loss. She was a generous, beautiful spirit who will be missed by everyone who had the privilege of knowing her. In her memory, I would like to provide awareness and information on mental health. If even one person can benefit from this, it will be worthwhile.
Mental illness shouldn't be stigmatized! It should be treated just like any other disease. You see an opthamologist if you eyes are bothering you, an internist if stomach problems persist, so go see a psychiatrist if you have something on your mind. (This is not self advertising, I am a CPA). For Chrissakes, if Katie Couric can stick a camera up her colon on national TV, why can't we see mental illness as an illness and not as a character defect?
Depression is a cancer, if untreated it will grow and can be fatal.
Understand the signs of depression, and if you see any these in yourself or those you care about, get help!
The Dove of Peace flies from site to site,
through as many countries as possible.
It does not belong to ANY belief
system. Please help it make a line
around the globe by taking it with
you to your site, by giving it
to someone for their site, by passing it on to
another continent, or to the conflict
areas of the world.