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Mr. Wonderful Talks Politics
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6/27/2002: The Whiskey Rebellion - America's First Tax !
If most of us Baby-Boomers remember anything from high school American History class, it is the Whiskey Rebellion of 1794. Of course we can't remember what the hell it was about (because we were mostly blasted on Kentucky Jack® and Asian hemp) but who could forget such a great moniker, "The Whiskey Rebellion?" Now, looking forward to my 40th annual high school reunion, and listening to my Talking Book World tapes of the quarto, "Unbridled Power" by former IRS historian, Shelly L. Davis, this rebellion takes on a new light. It seems after only eighteen years our federal government was already spending more money than it could collect using levies and taxes on goods coming into or out of the United States. The first internal tax levied on U.S. citizens was the "Whiskey Tax" which affected only the farmers in Pennsylvania, since they manufactured and sold the majority of the mind and body numbing concoction.  Oddly, the singled-out Western Pennsylvania farmers did not agree with a federal tax assessment that removed the possibility of a profit from their whiskey sales. And, among other provocations, they massed and attacked the palatial estate of the federally appointed Pennsylvania Inspector for Revenue (and close friend of George Washington) General John Neville, and burnt it to the ground. In response, using the Militia Law of 1792, President Washington gathered together a larger federal army than had ever faced the Redcoats at any single battle ground and then proceeded to round up and put on trial many of rebellion's captured leaders and participants. Of course, no one was actually convicted and all were eventually pardoned, but do you note the dichotomy? What was the final straw that caused the Colonies to revolt from Mother England? The Stamp Act, a tax on all legal transactions. But yet a mere less than two decades later the Father of our Country, who led the Colonial Armies to victory over the British is seen commanding his largest battalion of soldiers ever - to collect his own tax.
6/7/2002: Insanity Attack Disables 'Singing' John Ashcroft !
What did I tell you! What did I say? I said that the mamby-pamby "Don't even imagine you might injure someone else's feelings" PC-ism and emotional diarrhea that the Clinton crowd and the DeMedia have been spewing for decades, was, in the situation of today's Muslim terrorists, going to result in the needless deaths of thousands of innocent American moms and dads and brothers and sisters. From the Wall Street Journal of June 6th, 2002, I quote, ". . . the attorney general . . . tried to deflect criticism from Arab and Muslim leaders that their communities are being unfairly singled out. " Say what? "UNFAIRLY SINGLED OUT?" Were not every single one of the coward Nine-One-One terrorists an Arab? Pardon me, but wasn't every one of those same box cutter wielding, left hand wiping sky-jackers also Muslim?
 Arab Terrorist or WWII Congressional Medal of Congress Winner?
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And wouldn't it make an awful lot of sense for American intelligence and enforcement agencies to target not only Arabs, but Muslims and especially practicing Muslim's who are of Arab descent? After listening to Mr.Wonderful Jr., who risked his life in the liberation of Kuwait, relate the virulent hatred many Middle Eastern Arabs hold all American's in, I am absolutely dumb struck that we continue to respect these same barbarians, when as a group they would rather see every Christian, every Jew and every American thrown in a pit, soaked with gasoline and set ablaze. Face the truth folks, it is a war between radical Arab-Muslims and the JudaeoChristian West. A war that necessitates, many times without much evidence, I admit, keeping all Arab-Muslims under suspicion. I prefer that suspicion to the airport strip searching of eighty year old, crippled, Caucasian, Congressional Medal of Honor holding hero's, like Governor Joe Foss. Do you know why Joe Foss was pulled aside in the first place? He'd forgotten he had his Medal of Honor in his coat pocket and it set off the metal detector! And of course these morons at the airport know much more about an Insider Pizza© than they do World War II, so ...
5/29/2002: "Big Brother to Fine AT& T for not Lojacking Phones"
According to a May 21st, 2002, article in the WSJ, AT& T faces a multi-million dollar fine for its slow progress in providing that all its mobile phones comply with the newly federally mandated E-911 service. "E-911?" you ask. Yes, this is the capacity that all cellular providers must install in their phones by year 2006.  This capability allows, so that if need be, and I'm sure only after a court order, any of our local, city, county, state, national or United Nation authorities can trace a particular cell phone broadcast to within a maximum distance of three hundred yards of its origin. This 'Lojak' feature will only be used in conjunction with '911 Emergency' cellphone calls. Of course. Using triangulation and the ubiquitous G.P.S. satellites the new (Everywhere, Everyplace, Everyone) E-911 system will also be able to track any cellphone that is merely turned on (didn't realize that, did you?) to within 900 to 150 feet. ( Doesn't that make you just warm and fuzzy? Hey, it's like the foreman on my federal grand jury postulated, "If you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear!" Zeig Heil! ) Of course, in the Arizona desert where we refuse to live in multi-story stacks, so we are quite spread out, being able to locate an emergency 911 cellphone transmission to within 900 feet looks to be quite helpful. However, in the big cities, where, due to the stacking of people, crime is rampant, any 900 foot circle could enclose dozens of addresses, thousands of individuals, and in the case of a parking garage, 100's of vehicles. What freedoms, without the whiff of due process, will be blown aside in completing the searches of these private premises? Prior to these portable phones becoming as common as wallets, when one referred to a 'cell' it was in reference to a jail-cell. Are we all willingly and without protest or murmur allowing ourselves to be placed in virtual jail-cells awaiting only capture and conviction of the crime dejure?
5/14/2002: "Big Brother is ... Listening, Vectoring"
In the 21st Century, in order for the United States government to 'protect' us all, we all must become suspects. Of course the house of cards built on the illusion of the Fed's unilaterally being able to protect us poor, helpless, drooling, dumbshit's was toppled as surely as were New York City's Twin Tower's. And in virtually the same instance it was demonstrated by the "Let's Roll" passengers that courageous American's are much more effective at protecting other citizens than pension seeking government employees. But, I'll save discussion of that fact for another time. Recall when I mentioned that Congress was mandating that all cellular service providers allow Big Brother ( El Grande Hermano ) to locate the source any cell phone transmission to within a 300 foot diameter? Of course, of course, this was only for the purpose of sending paramedics to location of the .00001% of cell phone users who dial 911 and then pass out. Of course. This brings me around to the mention of the recently captured Lucas John Helder, the 'smiley face' mailbox bomber. Your Mr. Wonderful only heard this once, and have never seen it in print, but, don't cha know that Mr. Lucas John Helder's, S.F.M.B., location was triangulated and pinpointed by the signal his cell phone broadcast? And, while the major media has implied that the capture of this mailbox mauler was due to the fact that he was steadily chattering into his cell phone, what was left unsaid was the fact that any cell phone that is merely powered on emits the same signal. Understand? The cell phone you and I and your kids and your parents, moms, dads, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and nieces willingly hook to our waists, thanks to our friends on Capitol Hill, have become tracking devices as surely as the electronic ankle collars released felons wear. If only F.D.R. had had this technology in the 1940s. It would have made it so much easier to round up all the tens of thousands of innocent Japanese parents, moms, dads, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and nieces residing in these United States and then to toss them behind the barbed barriers of the
'relocation centers' located in California and Arizona.
4/29/2002: Chumps vs. Chimps
How effed-up is this? While sentient human beings are being aborted and learned scientists are pleading with Congress to allow them, in the search for immortality ("And the serpent said to the woman, 'You will not surely die . . . and you will be like God' . . . ." GEN. 3:4-5 NKJV Bible) to invisibly slaughter thousands of pre-humans, ie., homo sapien embryos, Chimp-Chumps, in an attempt to protect their 'rights' are now moving to have lawyers appointed for these simians. In an example of how Congress wastes our tax dollars, an article in the April 25th, 2002 Wall Street Journal reveals that the soft-hearted and soft-headed dopes on Capitol Hill, passed the Chimpanzee Health Improvement, Maintenance and Protection Act aka, the Chimp Act, in year 2000. (Can you believe it?! And 'C.H.I.M.P.' isn't that so cute? The dolt who came up with that acronym should be put in the same cage with an adult Pan troglodyte for about thirty minutes . . .) While the Mrs. W. and I are struggling to earn the 600 after tax dollars a month it requires to keep Mr.Wonderful III in private school (so he may emerge better educated than the average public school chimp) and pay the, also monthly, electric, water, phone, cell, grocery and the over $8,000 I owe in back taxes, these Beltway Denizens are doling out promises and money to virtually anyone who has the time, the resources and the money to come cry on their weak shoulders.  (Of course working male and female citizens, grossing between $30,000 and $150,000, neither have the time or the money or the bureaucratic advocates to trek to D.C. to wage sanity against the Sainted and Separate 532 who are bound and determined to destroy the lives and lifestyles of these same citizens.) Am I, heaven forbid, 'anti-chimp?' Am I 'anti-animal?' No, but I do believe human beings needs must always come before the imagined 'rights' of animals. So, when I read that tax dollars, torn from the weary wallets and ripped purses of financially struggling Human-Americans, are being spent on mere animals, I hit the ceiling. Oh, oh, oh, but don't we hear, "Chimps have 98.7% of the same DNA homo sapiens do." So what? I'd be willing to bet that a duck-billed platypus (Ornithorhyinchus anatinus) has 98% of 'our' DNA, only .0071% less than a chimp has. Are we soon to be visited by the multi-million dollar congressionally funded PLATYPUS? (P.L.A.T.Y.P.U.S. = Protection and Loving Act To Yankeefy Platypi of the United States). By the way, what does the 98.7% of the "same DNA" as humans buy you in chimp? It gets you an animal that cannot, ever, never, no way, ever, be trained to take a dump outdoors. A fact kept hidden by trainers is that chimpanzees can never be educated to crap where you want them to! As my readers know, Shadrach, my English Bulldog, who attacks anyone wearing a backpack or a baseball cap, believes that the entire 40,000 gallons of water in our pool is an evil being and exposes his Luddite sympathies by viciously ripping apart anything with wheels, was easily trained to crap only outdoors. So, while the 98.7% of DNA we 'share' with chimps, may impress the uneducated masses, it doesn't mean monkey-shit to me.
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Oddly, the singled-out Western Pennsylvania farmers did not agree with a federal tax assessment that removed the possibility of a profit from their whiskey sales. And, among other provocations, they massed and attacked the palatial estate of the federally appointed Pennsylvania Inspector for Revenue (and close friend of George Washington) General John Neville, and burnt it to the ground. In response, using the Militia Law of 1792, President Washington gathered together a larger federal army than had ever faced the Redcoats at any single battle ground and then proceeded to round up and put on trial many of rebellion's captured leaders and participants. Of course, no one was actually convicted and all were eventually pardoned, but do you note the dichotomy? What was the final straw that caused the Colonies to revolt from Mother England? The Stamp Act, a tax on all legal transactions. But yet a mere less than two decades later the Father of our Country, who led the Colonial Armies to victory over the British is seen commanding his largest battalion of soldiers ever - to collect his own tax.
