They Sicken Us

Every time we see 98 Degrees we sneer and laugh at them. But after a while, we were wondering, why do we really hate them? Is it because they are ugly? The fact that they can't sing? The fact that they say they are not a "boyband" when they are coming out with an official video and book in the fall? We thought about this long and hard and here's why we really hate them:

• Nick "The Prick" Lachey.Why is this fool always licking his lips after singing two words? Does singing really dry out the lips that much? Damn, get some chapstick or quit!
• Nick "The Prick" Lachey...again. Why did it look like he was wearing lip gloss in "The Hardest Thing" video? He must have confused our suggestion of chapstick to lip gloss.
• Jeff Timmons could use some help in the dancing area. In the "Because of You" video he could barely keep to the rhythm. It's probably because the song has no rhythm. Or maybe he was dancing to a different song. It all makes sense now. We feel you, Jeff.
• Justin Jeffery. With a name like "Justin" you'd think he would be better looking, but not this Justin. He reminds us of Anthony Edwards. And WTF is wrong with his lips?? They look like they were stung by bees. Justin, you oughtta see a doctor about that bee sting.
• Drew Lachey. Why is he always wearing that hat? Does he have something to hide? Oh, we know. He has a receding hair line worse than AJ's. You're gonna need more than a hat, Drew. You're gonna need some super-strength Rogaine.

After the previous comments we can only think of two good things about 98 Degrees:

Jeff and his muscles.

Wait! I (Quinn) don't even like Jeff. Or his muscles. You're on your own on that one, Zaria.

Back to Boys Will Be Boys