-loves fears-

loves fears

Remember way back when?
In the very beginning?
Everything was fancy-free
Damn
Wishful thinking

I now smile when I look back
Remembering the good times
What the hell kind of times were they?
Heh heh
I keep them
I keep them mine

We grew close
Then apart
I knew you'd remain forever
Deep inside my heart

You'd call me often
And we'd laugh together

No

Wait

We'd never laugh together
It was always you laughing at me
And I just sit there
Asking
Why can't I be?

Why can't I be who I want to be?
Why can't I be in my element?
Because I'm scared?
That I'm terrified you'll scar me?
Scar me for life?
Scar me deep in my flesh
Scarring permanent wounds
That will never heal

Because you affected me
You affected me greatly
Stepping into my life
Running in and out of my life
Undecisively

My little heartbreaker was what I liked to call you
One day you loved me
The next
Who knew what you felt?
Did you even stop to feel?
Stop for one second?
No
Because I would have known
I would have found out
But again no
You can't feel
You can't be
You can't know
You can't see
See the love that I have to offer
See the love that I have to share
See the love that I want you to share back
Please care

I shall move on
But it's impossible
The force of magnitude
Holding me close to you

I beg of you
Let me go
I don't want any more pain
I never asked for more
I never asked for any
I asked for you to care
To love me back
To cherish
And to honor me

Why?

DAMMIT!

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