Just got back from the Clark Wood Community Centers "Battle of The Bands". I thought we fuckin had it made when I saw the first few acts. One was this prissy teenager, dressed up like Shania Twain. She started singin' that song by Shania Twain. Then half way through, she ripped off her cowboy suit, and the clothes she had on underneath looked like Britney Spears. I guess they were supposed to start playing a Britney Spears song, when she did that, but the other song just shut off, and she kept dancing for another minute, just in silence, then she grabbed her cowboy clothes and ran off the stage to her fuckin crying mother. Fuckin amateur. Then a fuckin' Eagles cover band came on and fuckin played for like 2 hours. We started throwing fuckin pudding from Ronny's lunch bag at the "lead singer". At first we just threw little spoonfuls, so it made these shiny brown lines on his fucking corduroy pants and his acoustic guitar, then we start just throwing whatever we could find. We got kicked out by the guy who runs the place. But then later we got an idea to sneak back in dressed as a christian motivational band. But the guy knew it was us. After a few minutes, he let us back in after we promised to apologize to the fuckin Eagles cover band. We totally did'nt. Just about the time we got back in, it was time to go on. We fuckin exploded onto the scene with no mercy. Ronny's chops were thicker than an island of steel. Terry's licks came out of his guitar like a machine gun shooting out some bullets. Chaz's bass was like an earthquake making its way into your head. My drumming was like a ruthless serial killer banging on your front door. Sheila our new back up singer, looked fuckin hot. And to top it all off Misty was at the front of the stage, fuckin looking right up at me. I don't think I ever felt so fuckin psyched. I started doing this solo, then I looked up at Ronny. After the fuckin smoldering set, we got off the stage and after packin up my set, I went over and started talkin to Misty. She seemed really shy at first. So I played it cool and asked her if she wanted to catch a flick. She just looked up and smiled. Man, she looked like a unicorn coming out of the waterfall of my crystal soul. Just as I was about to grab Misty's ass, Dale Collins the lead singer of "Jaminator 2000" grabbed my shoulders and pushed me into the door. He said "What the fuck are you thinkin' dude", then he looked at me and gave me the finger and laughed. Then he grabbed Misty and took her out into the parking lot, before he had to go on stage. While he was playing, I fuckin went outside and pissed on the bumper of his truck. Then the guy who owns the place saw me, and we got permanently banned from the community center. I was like "I don't fuckin care dude". Then I was like! I guess "Jaminator 2000" won the talent show by default, because we got kicked out. But I'm going to get them back. Click here to see my plans. Don't fuckin tell anybody.